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heliopausa December 6 2015, 03:40:15 UTC
Lady Macb: Macbeth! almost I dread, husband and love
to see you here, since that the thane is gone,
Great Sinel, reaving with him the most of Glamis,
as moiety to make full the tale of blood
which told too often is, breaking my ears,
my life; oh, tell me not that you will break with me,
so lately joined in holiness and truth,
to join with them, the breakers-out of war.

Macb: Best flower of Scotland! whose sweet soul alone
breathes gentleness into this troubled air,
be nothing daunted by these winds of war.
Though a still-murky art hath Norway's fleet
brought here upstarting treason, we will yet
rain down our heavy and our bloody blows
to seaward drive th'impious foe, knee-deep,
neck-deep, and panicked to take ship again,
and after them the thundercracks of scorn
from our victorious troops, when - nothing doubt -
my sword my bowsprit turns, carving through green
a sea-path to Glamis' quiet walls, and you.

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edenfalling December 6 2015, 03:59:48 UTC
Oh gosh, and in blank verse too! I love how even this tender moment between newlyweds is set against the backdrop of war and violence -- very thematically fitting -- and then the mention of treason harks forward to what will become of them later. Also, I am fascinated that Macbeth calls Lady M a 'sweet soul' who 'breathes gentleness,' since that is very much NOT the impression one gets of her from the play; one wonders whether he simply doesn't know her darker side yet, or whether she changed that drastically through years of war and (presumably) the death of their child.

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heliopausa December 6 2015, 04:10:53 UTC
I wasn't sure whether to introduce the child (in utero, perhaps) but decided three sentences were probably too few. :)

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ext_3406253 December 6 2015, 05:26:38 UTC
Oh my goodness, this is stunning! The language, the words, the metre... And a heartbreaking look at the early days, when war was a shadow over everything but not yet blood on the hands. My favorite line was the parallel of the tale "breaking my ears," the plea "break not with me" and the dread of "breakers-out of war." So incredibly well done!!!

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heliopausa December 7 2015, 01:01:17 UTC
Thanks. :) I tinkered with the words for metre, and see now where I'd like to tinker some more, but... too late! Moral: don't be hasty, helio!

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ext_3406253 December 7 2015, 03:44:31 UTC
(Always listen to the Ents!)

But seriously, I am in awe - your 3-sentence scene is just so, SO good!

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heliopausa December 15 2015, 08:02:37 UTC
You're very kind! Thanks!

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heliopausa December 7 2015, 01:10:47 UTC
Thank you. :)

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xahra99 December 6 2015, 19:27:41 UTC
HOLY SHIT
It's perfect!

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heliopausa December 7 2015, 01:21:20 UTC
Thank you. :)

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heliopausa December 11 2015, 11:35:40 UTC
In blankverse, and in three sentences! Oh my.
Marmota

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heliopausa December 15 2015, 08:03:10 UTC
:) I'm glad you liked it!

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metonomia December 13 2015, 18:22:52 UTC
A++++ this is so delightful!

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heliopausa December 15 2015, 08:04:17 UTC
Thank you! It's fun trying to write Shakespearily. :)

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janetlin December 18 2015, 06:46:01 UTC
This... just... I can't words.


... )

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