One-shot: To Find My Voice
You refused to talk to anyone, including your own family. You had become what everyone else had assumed long ago: virtually mute. You refused to see Tiffany anymore, and you locked yourself in your room to avoid confrontation with her. You knew you were a coward for doing so, but it didn’t bother you; you were scared of everyone in the first place.
The world. Oh, how you cursed the world. This entire world only offered pain, misery, loneliness, and fear. After the mess with Tiffany, it finally pulled the last string; that you wanted nothing of this world anymore. You refused its food and essentials, and instead wasted your life locked in your room. Sure, you felt hungry and in pain, but what was new?
However, you hated the fact that the world you despised had such a strong grip on you. How is it that you fainted just before you could even insert the pocketknife into your skin? How is it that your parents broke down the door, to find your body and took you to the hospital, rather than leaving you there, and just let time take you away?
Ninety days you spent in the hellhole people called Rehabilitation. They were able to prevent you from attempting suicide, but they could never recover your voice. Your voice; it wasn’t just something you could show to anyone. It was something special. Only the people who deserved it could hear.
You thought back to Tiffany as you fell back onto your bed, which smelled recently washed. Why did you let her hear your voice? You knew it was because of love, but what if there were different possibilities? You loved your family, but you haven’t talked to them in 113 days.
Could it be, that someone had the key to the box in which your voice resided?
The words repeated in your head, I’m sorry Jessi, but I already have a boyfriend..
You had wasted all your tears, and so nothing spilled out anymore. You clamped at your ears while closing your eyes, breathing heavily as Tiffany’s melodic voice that you’ve been trying so hard to forget rings inside your brain.
After a while, you open your eyes to see Tiffany Hwang standing at the edge of your bed. She tilted her head a little and smiles, the smile that you loved, but hated. She extended her arm, asking for your hand.
Cautiously, you reached your hand to the welcoming one. Oddly, the closer you got, the more secure you felt. Your lips twitched, as if it wanted to turn into a smile. You’re only a centimeter away, when suddenly the hand disappeared. You look up, and remember: Tiffany was gone.
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Out of boredom, you count each raindrop that streaked down the window, your eyes half-lidded as you listened to the relaxing patters of falling rain against the window.
Parched, you left your sanctum to retrieve a glass of water from the kitchen. As you slowly climbed down the steps, you froze when you heard soft sobs.
Hiding behind the corner of the hallway, you peered into the living room, seeing a stranger, his face in his palms with your mother and father nearby, comforting him. At first, you wondered who the man was, until his face registered in your head: Tiffany’s dad.
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Huffing and puffing, you leaped over a puddle, before beginning your dash again, pissed that the pelting rain is slowing you down.
The words flash inside your head every two seconds: “Tiffany has stopped speaking, and now she’s disappeared…”
You’re clothes clinged to your soaked body, water was filling inside your shoes, and you could barely see a foot in front of you, because your bangs were plastered to your face.
Why? You thought as you stop at a river’s bank, searching left and right before sprinting again. Why am I in the rain looking for that girl?
“Her boyfriend…. was cheating on her”
Blinding lights appeared to the side of you, your eyes widening when you recognize it as a car’s headlights. You braced yourself, but instead you heard a fierce halt, followed by loud honking. Slightly grateful, you continued to cross the street. She broke my heart, and stepped on the remains. So why?
You slowed down when you forgot where you’re even headed. White vapors escaped your mouth as you gasped for breath, not necessarily caring anymore if you were standing in the rain. You stared at the bench before you; the same bench where you first confessed. Though for a second, you forgot it was the same bench, because you were staring at a drenched girl who was curled up on it; Tiffany Hwang.
You took off your drenched jacket, and slowly approached the foetal-positioned girl. You stood directly in front of her, yet she did not budge. Draping the jacket over her head, you furrowed your brows.
Why did you pity her? You looked at her hard, and then sighed. Was it because she reminded you of yourself?
“How does it feel to be in my position?” you said, surprised at hearing your voice again after all this time (only Tiffany was capable of that).
She lifted her head to meet your eyes. You tried hard not to flinch; it was the first time you saw Tiffany so sad.
“How does it feel to be dumped by your love?”
Tiffany gripped at the flaps of your jacket, and slightly smiled in a bittersweet away. She moved her lips, mouthing something that looked like ‘I’m sorry’.
At that moment, you should’ve walked away; walk away from the empowerment of your pain and misery. Instead, you just stood there, hands shaking as you watch Tiffany stand up. She approached you, your legs aching to move.
Run away! Your mind screamed, but you did nothing as she stood in front of you, eyes wandering into yours, and examining your soul (the soul you spent months trying to lock away).
You felt skinny arms wrap around your torso, and it takes more time to register the feel of soft lips on yours. At that moment, you sense something inside you unlock, a heavy pressure on your chest; that same density you felt when you first met Tiffany.
Soon, she separated from you, weakly smiled, and began to walk past you. However, the figure stopped shortly; your hand gripping her arm tightly. You had felt panic-stricken; you couldn’t have prevented your action anyway.
“Do…n’t…. leave… me…” you quietly stated over the now-sprinkling rain. She turned to face you; her face clearly saying Why?
“Be…cause… I… still…lo-ve…you…”
You idiot! You thought; you knew those words would only get you hurt again, but they just came out themselves.
Tiffany turned around to face you. You didn’t want to hear you she had to say, you wanted to save yourself the pain.
It was a mere murmur, but nonetheless you heard it, “I love you too.”
Eyes open and wide, you stared at her. For a moment, you questioned if this was all a dream. Realization hit you, telling you it was all real when you felt the warm sensation of a hand caressing your cheek.
Too many miracles were happening at once, because now the dry oasis called your tears started flooding out your eyes, and your unmovable lips cracked into a smile.
It all came to you. You could shut down yourself all you wanted, but you knew: Tiffany was the keeper of the key to your voice, your emotions, and your heart.
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I realize that this is crappy, but it was on my To-Write list for so long that I just needed to get it off my chest. :T
Penny for your thoughts? :3