(no subject)

[carcinology]

Player Name: Juli/Anna
Personal LJ: wire_birdcage
E-mail: wire.bird.cage@gmail.com
AIM: wirebirdcage
Other characters currently in-game: None!
Who referred you to the game?: Squeak and/or Quix I guess you could say, since I've been stalking them like a creeper for weeks prior to applying. >_>;
Character Name: Karkat Vantas
Canon source: Homestuck
PB: Not applicable; I'll still be using "canon" art (by which I mean mostly fanart, probably).

Personality:
To put it simply, Karkat is a grouch. He is quick to anger and slow to cool down, generally in a fairly constant state of irritable, and probably has some of the highest blood pressure of an otherwise healthy young man you've ever seen. He's angry and he flies off more handles than most people would know how to handle on an hourly basis, sure as hell seems to make a sport out of senseless name-calling and insulting, and overall is very and extremely crabby at all times of all days. All of the days. He's actually a very stereotypical Cancer in that regard-- he's crabby, he harbors a deeply-rooted insecurity and hatred for himself and all of his shortcomings, and he's something of a chronic worrier. On the side of more positive attributes, he's also very loyal and supportive when he chooses to be, even if it's hard to tell under all that shrieking impotent rage. He's very protective, particularly of those he can call friends or family, and while he can certainly screw up, he's going to do all in his power to keep those he cares for safe. He's also very moody, in that he'll go from relatively chill to verbal assault in less than two seconds (though usually not the other way around). Somehow through all of this, Karkat has a habit of being strangely polite. He refuses to sugarcoat a damn thing and he'll feed you the truth straight regardless of what reaction he is probably very aware you will have, but he'll do it in a very professional manner if the situation calls for it so as not to immediately come off as a complete asshat (which is to say, if you are someone he has to show respect to, he'll be slightly less than ragetastic). This is usually the first attribute to fade when he "befriends" a person-- he'll go from being truthful but careful about how he words things to just up and telling you that skirt makes your butt look horrible and by the way your perfume smells like skunk vomit and your nose is crooked. In this way he has an odd sort of equality to how to treats people, regardless of age, gender, preference, disability or anything else. He reacts to most things pretty much the same, and he doesn't hesitate to speak his mind. He also harbors a general knack for observation, in that he's not a terribly social creature but he'll certainly be present and taking mental notes. In this way, he can learn a good amount about a person without ever having spoken to them, gauging them to discern whether or not they are worth his time.

History:

History: Since I'm still not 100% certain of whether this section is meant to cover AU History or Canon History, here is a link to canon information on Karkat. And now I will launch into a tl;dr explanation of the AU. >_>;

Alternia is a small, mostly-unknown country on an island somewhere in the South Pacific and not terribly far off the mainland shores. The people born and hailing from Alternia are "human", even though the matter has been argued over for centuries. Their strange grey, leathery skin is probably the first thing that make most humans think they are aliens-- the yellow sclera, clawed hands and feet, sharp, fang-like teeth and candy-cane gradient horns atop their heads only cement the concept to some skeptics, as well as many Alternians themselves. However they are still warm-blooded mammals, as humans are, and mostly humanoid apart from strange coloring and physiology. So generally speaking, they are classified as humans (and most human doctors aren't stupid enough to attempt tests to prove it one way or another, since Alternians are notoriously violent). Alternians also harbor a strange collection of words in their vernacular-- it serves as a sort of racial slang. For instance, instead of using the term "God" or "Jesus" they use the terms "gog and "jegus", rarely ever capitalized. No one is really entirely sure why. A particular turn of phrase that Karkat seems to enjoy is to call someone who is crazy "shithive maggots". I'm not even sure he knows what that means.

Karkat Vantas was born the same way most Alternians are-- ambiguously. No Alternian knows their true birth parents, they are simply born, and then put in something akin to group daycare. They are kept fed and mostly safe until they are five years old, at which point they are sent off to complete harsh and somewhat inhumane trials. Those that survive the trials have, in Alternian society, won the right to live and are accepted as part of their race. At this point, Alternian children are given the option to select what is called a Lusus-- a guardian spirit, as it were. Unlike most Alternians, Karkat did not return to receive his proverbial badge of acceptance. Scraping through the trials was hard enough after not knowing any form of parent or guardian, he didn't much fancy the concept of returning when he had no honest idea of what he would be returning to. Instead, he found his way to a city somewhere on the outskirts of the mainland, where he met a man who introduced himself as nothing more than Spades Slick. Karkat had happened across what was best described as gang turf, and while he hadn't specifically witnessed any illegal actions on the part of the Midnight Crew, Slick still intended to have him killed. Unfortunately for Slick, Karkat bit him in the kneecaps and attempted to fend him off with a sickle that was far too big for the hands of a five year old boy.

Oddly enough, Slick took a liking to him because of this.

So Karkat got "adopted" by the leader of the Midnight Crew (feel free to make your jokes here). Now, the majority of the basis of the Midnight Crew is that they're essentially a small, closely-knit mafia group. There are four of them, each relating to a card suit. Spades Slick, Diamonds Droog, Hearts Boxcars, and Clubs Deuce. Naturally, Karkat opted out of them figuring out a way to give him a similar nickname. "Karkat" was strange enough as it was amongst a city primarily populated by Dersites and Prospitans, so he just kind of rolled with it (Dersites and Prospitans, for the record, are another strange subspecies of humans. Dersites harbor a very dark, ashen coloring that appears almost charcoalish black (not the chocolatey brown shades that most African Americans' skintone is), while Prospitans have a very pale, also ashen color that appears almost entirely white. They are strange, almost carapaced individuals, with white sclera like a normal human's but usually very little color to their irises, as well as milked over pupils, leading them to almost appear blind.). "Rolling with it" tended to include letting Slick teach him how to effectively use a weapon-- his stupid sickle that he had picked up along the way was much too large for him, so Slick got him a custom-made switchblade with an unusual, similarly sickle-shaped blade. It is easily one of Karkat's most prized possessions. Generally speaking, Karkat's childhood was relatively uneventful (er, well. As uneventful as your childhood can be, when you're sort of one type of alien being raised by two fathers of another type of alien and they happen to be the two top members of a semi-well-known mafia group). Slick rarely had him actually make hits, since the rest of his crew was efficient enough and Karkat was still so young. He did, however, train Karkat to know how. He also had Karkat homeschooled, by which he mostly forced Droog to ensure he was educated. Since Droog is kind of the intelligence of the operation anyhow, this worked out pretty well.

Karkat's life went pretty smooth and normal up until he was eighteen. Slick then unleashes this strange sort of backwards plan on him, telling him he wants him to join the local police force. It is relatively common knowledge that the opposing mob, known as The Felt, contains a member that Slick has always had a very strong rivalry with. Her name is Snowman and the hatesex is probably fantastic. Slick states that he needs inside eyes in the police, as a reliable source has informed him that there is a member of the Felt there (this reliable source is assumably Snowman herself-- it is a well-known and perplexing fact that Slick plays piano at a billiard's club known to be Snowman's, while Droog plays the saxophone, Boxcars plays the cello and Deuce plays the oboe). Grudgingly, Karkat goes off to police academy! And pretty much hates it but he survives and he does a fucking amazing job. He is put out on the force after six months in Academy, and hops around from department to department for a while. Because of his harsh and unfriendly nature he makes for a very effective officer and detective, but most people have a very hard time connecting with him and therefore working with him long term. Just after his twenty-third birthday, he is sought out partnered off with the unpartnerable-- the somewhat infamous Terezi Pyrope.

Joy of fucking joys.

Terezi Pyrope was a young prodigy on the force, known for her strange ways, her extreme intellect, and her constant hunger for justice. She was really fucking good at her job. And... then she was blinded in a tragic "accident". Everyone thought that was the last they'd see of pretty little Prodigy Pyrope. They thought so very, very wrong. After a freakishly short period of rehabilitation (approximately six months), Terezi returned to the force with a new tenacity. Justice must go on. Her strangeness got stranger, and she rather rapidly became a lone warrior. She was still just as effective a detective as previous, she just... worked alone. Always. Because everyone thought she was completely shithive maggots (which... she kind of is). Spoilers, an equally shithive maggots young woman in the FBI by the name of Vriska Serket is the one that caused the "tragic accident" that lead to her blinding. Sources believe that Snowman had something to do with this as well, but that is neither here nor there.

When Karkat was enrolled in the Police Academy at eighteen, Slick bought him an apartment in a nice-but-not-ritzy complex somewhere downtown. Unfortunately for his ability to remain unirritated in his homeplace, a one very excitable and friendly pink-skinned human boy named John Egbert also lived in this apartment complex with his father. He was attending one of the nearby colleges, attempting a double major in business and music. He was one of those overly friendly neighbors that showed up at Karkat's door with his father and cupcakes to welcome him to the complex (within approximately thirty minutes of Karkat having shown up with a moving van and boxes), and has pretty much been an obnoxiously nice college boy ever since. Karkat is torn between flat-out hating him and being irritably amused by his constant glee over being friends with a cop. The massive downside of allowing John to pronounce himself Karkat's friend was the fact that Karkat then had to be introduced to John's three closest friends. These included Jade Harley, John's half-sister whom Karkat has an amazing sort of love-hate relationship with (they argue all the time when Jade is present at the apartment, but Karkat gets comically protective of her if she speaks of something bad that happened to her), Dave Strider, John's best friend and a well-known musician in the area whom Karkat cannot stand, and Rose Lalonde, Dave's stoic and relatively quiet half-sister and a writing major at the college John was attending. Karkat doesn't have much of an opinion on Rose, because she mostly keeps to herself-- overall it's probably best for both of them that way. Dave's music was often accompanied by John's piano playing, Jade's bass, and Rose's violin, as well, making them all a sort of compilation band with periodic other influence.

The initial decision to try pairing Karkat off with Terezi was also made while Karkat was in Academy. He was tactically efficient, he knew what he was doing and he was relatively good at taking orders, provided they weren't retarded. He was also generally quiet and focused on his tasks as opposed to building rapport with his classmates-- the rare times that he chose to spoke up were usually when someone around him fucked up (in which case he usually spent the better part of ten minutes screeching in rage about how much of an incompetent nook-sucking asshat they were. His verbal assaults tended to be considerably harsher at humans than they were at any wayward Alternians like himself). Point being, Karkat was good, and he was always good at watching both his own back and whoever he was partnered with (albeit begrudgingly in some cases), so a good number of higher-ups decided it was about time to try giving Pyrope a good partner. What better way to make a good thing amazing than to team up an amazing detective with another, right?

Well, right, but oh God it was going to take a while for them to not hate each other.

In actuality, they got along relatively well from the start. It was a sort of strained relationship-- Karkat knew he had to get along with her, and Terezi was just a generally people-oriented Alternian. Karkat certainly appreciated her competence over most of the other Alternians in the force, of which there were four. The first, Sollux Captor, was a junior field agent with a knack for computers and an enjoyment of duality in his colorschemes (he also had strange eyes for an Alternian-- in most cases, they harbored simple yellow sclera and irises the color of their canon counterpart's blood, but Sollux had one red iris and one blue). The next, Aradia Megido, was the forensic specialist/medical examiner on the force, as well as Sollux's fiancee-to-be and a common vocalist in the music Dave Strider made. Tavros Nitram, a paralyzed field agent who used a wheelchair, was another on the force, with a love of animals and a handful of self-esteem complexes. Finally, Tavros' partner Gamzee Makara was a rather spaced-out field agent with amazing observational skills... if you could decipher what in the hell he was telling you he observed. A little-known fact about Gamzee was the fact that his spaced-out nature was due to the various medications he was fairly constantly on-- he had proven to be a very successful agent, but was also suffered from multiple personality disorder. Tavros was one of very few people that could not only decipher his babbling but also help keep him stable. Karkat fairly instantaneously formed a rivalry-based friendship with Sollux, and therefore a pleasant coexistence with Aradia, couldn't really stand Gamzee in large doses, and mostly ignored Tavros' existence. Over time they all became pretty close and spent a good amount of time together off the clock, though it usually involved the rest of them plotting for a week and then dragging Karkat out for something ridiculous like dinner and karaoke, to which he protested greatly.

During his time in the precinct, Karkat accidentally grew a slight reputation. See, he's kind of a giant nerd for romantic comedies and periodically he'll read cheesy romance novels. So when he overheard a pair of girls talking about relationship issues, he offhandedly offered some advice, thinking nothing of it. A few days later, both of the girls sought him out to thank him, and word got around pretty quick. Eventually it became a daily, if not hourly ritual for at least one person to come to Karkat asking for relationship advice (Terezi teased him mercilessly for this). Finally, the first two girls he had helped offered to make a suggestion box of sorts and stick it in the break room, so people would stop bothering him while he was at work. ...So now Karkat has a relationship advice column suggestion box in the breakroom. He avoids the thing if at all possible, to the degree that he'll get coffee from a different area if he has to.

About three months after Karkat was partnered with Terezi, Slick abruptly dropped entirely off the radar. His cellphone no longer worked, he was nowhere to be found at the house Karkat had grown up in, none of the usual contacts had any information. Karkat retained contact with Droog, but even he didn't seem to know what had become of Spades Slick. Karkat was temporarily devastated. At one point during this, he got in an argument with Sollux because he was being particularly snippy and unpleasant. Sollux had at one point previously sent him a batch of codes, one of which he was explicitly told not to run. ...Karkat spitefully ran aforementioned code, and his computer promptly exploded (comically enough, when the pair first met, the first words out of Sollux's mouth to Karkat were "Don't touch the computers".). Everyone in the precinct then proceeded to have really hilariously horrible luck for the rest of the week. Karkat lost a shoe in this endeavor somehow, though no one is really entirely sure how.

Regardless, Karkat forced himself to bounce back fairly rapidly because he was tired of people asking him what was wrong. It was soon after this that a case drags the police force into working with the FBI as well, leading Karkat to meet a one Vriska Serket and what one could call her keeper; Kanaya Maryam. Vriska has pretty much always been a huge bitch bluh bluh, but Kanaya keeps her unorthodox methods mostly in check despite the fact that a lot of times harm still befell those that got in Vriska's way (see; Terezi's blindness and Tavros' paralyzation). It appears at times that Kanaya has assisted in these endeavors, though it is overall difficult to tell because she is a rather emotionally elusive young woman to figure out. Karkat doesn't mind Kanaya, and in fact finds her to be a rather pleasant Alternian, but he has a rather knee-jerk reaction desire to punch Vriska in the nose.

At the approximate six month mark of Karkat having been in the police force, John rather spontaneously showed up at his door one afternoon when he was off work (as the boy often did, much to Karkat's annoyance) with a kitten. This proceeded to do very little but piss Karkat off more, since John was nearly begging the policeman to take the cat. He and his father had adopted a cat who had had kittens, and this was the last one they hadn't given away and pleeeease, Karkat, she needs a good home! Eventually Karkat conceded if only to get the boy to stop whining at him. So he has a cat now. Tavros once caught him doting on the creature when they had all shown up at his apartment unannounced, but was sworn to secrecy. Naturally he kept this secrecy, because Karkat was kind of intimidating. He named the cat Threshecutioner, which is either some kind of word he made up or possibly a code word for Karkat Is A Huge Fucking Doofus. No one is really quite sure. He calls him Thresh for short.

Later on, probably around eight or nine months of being on the force and being Terezi's partner, Karkat started to realize that he was actually genuinely enjoying her company. Moreso than one might generally enjoy a coworker's company. This... bothered him quite a lot, so for about a month's time he skirted around spending any time with her outside of work, avoided her even at work, and got pretty generally ridiculous. He finally called Droog up one night and asked his advice on what to do with a female one was prospectively interested in, and Droog supplied him with the suggestion of taking her dancing. Before Karkat had gotten over himself enough to actually ask her, however, Terezi cornered him in the break room. A comical exchange occurred here, wherein Terezi asked what the hell Karkat's problem was and he fairly instantaneously informed her he was taking her dancing (at some point, Ari and myself will likely have a "backlogged" musebox thread for this instance, which when it happens can be supplied). Naturally, she stared at him, told him he had problems, and then told him when to pick her up.

Dancing actually went splendidly well-- it took Karkat the better part of an hour to actually relax enough to have a good time, but the night went over pretty well (apart from the fact that trying to lead in dancing when your partner is nearly a full head taller than you and blind is very difficult). They had a few drinks, they danced, Karkat eventually got hilariously posessive of her and wouldn't let anyone else dance with her. By the end of the night he gathered up the courage to kiss her... and then promptly called into work sick the next day out of sheer terror. Terezi, naturally, acted as though nothing had happened, though she would periodically just grin at him in that most obnoxious fashion of hers.

Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, in Karkat's case), there was very little time to stop and dwell on things as trivial as feelings. Three days after the night out dancing, there was a particularly unpleasant murder in Karkat's apartment complex-- none other, in fact, than John's father and Rose's mother (who had been over visiting at John's apartment). John, fortunately, was all right, he had been out at class at the time of the murder. Naturally because he was the closest cop to the vicinity, when the body was discovered Karkat was the first to the scene, and... Well, it wasn't pretty. Particularly so because Karkat knew exactly who had done it, from the way it was executed. Spades Slick had returned from wherever he had disappeared to, and for whatever reason he had chosen to kill two college students' single parents for no apparent reason. Karkat nearly took the case worse than John himself did, though he did offer to let John stay in his apartment (John toggled between staying with Karkat to remain nearby and safe, and staying with his sister and Dave). Rose sort of dipped off the radar more than usual, though Dave made certain to keep tabs on her more regularly to be sure she was okay.

Karkat attacked the case with an odd sort of tenacity, but Slick made certain that only Karkat and his blissfully blind partner could find him. Karkat made a point of splitting up with Terezi when he went looking, simply because he didn't feel like explaining if she was with him. Slick informed Karkat that the massacre of John's father and Rose's mother was to ensure that Karkat was aware of the position he was in-- almost as though he were suddenly telling him that by being in the police, where Slick himself had asked him to go, he was betraying his adopted roots in the Midnight Crew. In a way he rather dared Karkat to arrest him, but before Karkat had much of a chance to react Terezi had caught up with him and Slick was gone. Suffice to say Karkat was livid, and when they returned to the precinct he fairly promptly disappeared into the Captain's office. When he came out, he very pointedly made no eye or vocal contact with anyone-- especially Terezi (not that eye contact with Terezi ever happens). So naturally, when the Captain came out of his office and explained to Terezi out of obligation that she might soon be partnerless, Terezi was pissed, and pursued him.

And it's here that I intend to throw Karkat into The Post Humans, just to make his life as difficult as possible. :D (Though I do have information on where the AU went from there on its own, if mods would like for me to finish out more of the storyline for the application.)

How does your AU differ from canon?
Once again I'm fearing I filled this out entirely wrong, but! The AU is actually pretty much entirely different, in that canon centers around a reality-changing computer game and the AU has absolutely nothing to do with gaming. The trolls in this verse are not actually aliens as they are in canon, Karkat is a sort of pseudo-member of the Midnight Crew, leading pretty much the entirety of all of the things to be different from how they are in canon. However, things that I have paralleled to be at least similar to canon include the visual differences between regular pink-skinned humans and the Alternians/Dersites/Prospitans, most methods of Alternian upbringing, Terezi's justice fix, the talents and hobbies of the four non-Alternian kids, Karkat's obsession with romantic comedies, the computer virus resulting in an exploded computer and bad luck, Vriska being a huge bitch and causing a lot of trouble... The death of John's father and Rose's mother is paralleled but not exactly the same-- in canon they were killed by Jack Noir as opposed to Spades Slick, but the death itself remains mostly the same.

If I've filled these sections out wrong and the mods require clarification on anything please don't hesitate to tell me! >_>;;

Strengths:
Karkat is extremely tactically efficient, though if given the option he would rather not resort to violence (he'd much rather shriek at you in impotent rage and then vacate the premises of your vast stupidity). He's really quite good at disabling a person with his switchblade, though he does tend to just jab the blunt end into pressure points rather than actually draw blood. He's good at reading people and figuring out ways to help them-- whether or not he actually helps them is sort of a toss-up, but he'll usually offer his assistance in a sort of backhanded fashion so it doesn't look like he's helping. This also ties into his observational skills in his work; he picks up on little details in part because of his fine-tuned training under Slick and Droog, and he's very good at it. Despite his tendency to try and hide that he's helping people, Karkat is also very loyal and protective of those he actually cares about. It is still usually exhibited in his backhanded fashion because he seems to have some kind of inability to openly show kindness, but he will never let down a friend or family member in need. He makes a pretty excellent leader in this way, because even if he acts impartial and rough around the edges, he makes certain those around him are taken care of regardless of the situation.

Weaknesses:
The shortest of short tempers. He rarely knows when to hold his tongue and steps on a lot of toes, and moreover he doesn't really care who he offends with his words. In this way, he's... really kind of a jerk, even if it's mostly a face. He's also pretty hilariously bad at expressing himself well, like boys have a tendency to be, and fumbles over his words and tends to resort to anger before being openly truthful with someone. Karkat's upbringing also results in him being ...not exactly socially awkward, so much as he grew up around adults as opposed to people his age. So he's not exactly the greatest at relating to people, especially given his penchant for not associating with people in the first place. He's also not sure how to react around other Alternians in general, given he was raised around a group of Dersites. He's pretty much awful at making a whole lot of sense when he's pissed off, usually because he just rants and raves and ignores any sense of logic because fuck this, he's yelling at you and specific logic doesn't really matter. He's also got a sharp tongue and rarely knows when to curb his language, as he does have a horrible habit of swearing regardless of what company he's in (though this is somewhat of an Alternian trait in general; they're all pretty coarse speakers).

Preferred drop-in point:
Does Seattle sound okay with you guys? :>

What are some of your plans for this character in their new environment?
I definitely want there to be a lot of hilarity taking place between Karkat and the existing canon Homestuck characters, because of how much their stories differ. All of the hilarity. Otherwise I am intensely bad at this field and am not entirely sure what I want to accomplish just yet. >_>; Things. All of the things.

First Person Journal Sample:
I never liked Seattle. It's wet and it's cold and the suicide rate is too fucking high.

Though this will be the first time in my life I've bothered keeping a journal. I doubt I'll actually keep it, this is mostly just because there's not a whole hell of a lot else to do with my time. I'm not going to start another trial version of Bejeweled on this fucking PDA, and I've never been any good at Tetris. The z-shaped blocks always thwart the shit out of me.

Pretty sure these pamphlets are entirely fucking useless, though. They're like brochures for a vacation, I'm not on vacation. Way to go, whoever thought this genius idea up. Pamphlets, a PDA with shitty games, nevermind that you gave both of these things to me and a blind girl. Unless maybe this is your attempt at humor.

...Shit, am I actually using a journal as a means to talk to a possibly fictional deity of some kind that dropped me in the middle of nowhere Seattle. Maybe I've finally actually gone shithive. To be fair, having spent as long as I have in Terezi's company, retaining sanity for this long should get me some kind of medal.

Well, if they gave me a PDA, I'm probably supposed to be making some kind of phone call. Would have helped if they gave me helpful phone numbers. Does 411 still cost money these days?

Third Person Sample:
At first he just paced around until he was sure he could see where he had started to wear a track into the floor beneath his feet. Paced, because there was nothing else to do and because he needed to keep moving so he didn't think too hard on what was happening. Paced, because he'd already thought too much about it. Paced, because he couldn't stop.

It took him about fifteen minutes before he actually forced himself to stop, leaning on a wall and gnashing his teeth together. It was completely ridiculous, and none of it made any sense. He had enjoyed life up until now with minimal nonsensical bullshit. Sure, there was traffic in the city and that was never any less than fucking insane, and there was the fact that he was a cop, which meant all sorts of interesting things came flying at his head on a daily basis, but at least it made some semblance of sense. Usually. Unless it involved Terezi.

He dropped that thought, and the pacing started up again.

He had left the precinct with the full intention of never going back. He'd go back to his apartment, he'd pack up what little of his belongings he actually cared about, probably the stupid fucking cat Egbert had insisted he take, and he'd go somewhere else. Leave the city, not have to worry about Slick, or about Terezi, or about overly friendly neighbors.

Overly friendly neighbors who were now orphans because of his own surrogate father figure.

That thought was a little harder to drop. He closed his eyes and sat down that time, dropped in a crouch and drumming his fingertips on his knees. Inhaled, held his breath, exhaled. Nothing made any more sense than it had thirty seconds ago. He snarled absently, and scrubbed one hand through his hair.

Terezi was going to kill him.

Those samples were terrible and I feel bad for writing them. But I will suck less when actually playing him I promise. Also I will eventually have a stupid amount of random useless information about this AU here when I have more time to devote to this post. I assure you, you will have All of the Information. All of it.



Also, quotes.

"If I'm gonna die fuckin'... uh, like ten, twenty, or 4376 times, then, at least I will die 4376 fuckin' times listening to some decent goddamn music! Not fuckin' a bunch of fuckin' fairies hangin' around a goddamn harp fuckin' cupid fuckin' strummin', he's shootin' out arrows from people's assholes and shit-- FUCK THAT SHIT."

I will have like seventy billion of these from the RageQuit guy, I swear.