Mask workshop
(9/1)
So. Definition, first, because no one's used to seeing the word 'aspect' used as a verb. (I wonder if the English majors are going to have fits? Well, hey, Reclaiming is all about appropriating stuff and making it our own; I guess that goes for language as well.) In the Reclaiming tradition, to 'aspect' (transitive) means to become, act, show or channel a particular deity or spirit. In the case of mask-work, it can be as simple as "I am going to ask to see through the eyes of Freya, as I wear this mask." Or it can be a full on calling of the deity into oneself, as with voudoun, where someone is "ridden" by the spirit. and possessed by them fully. This probably comes from the archaic meaning of 'aspect' as facial expression or mien, and also from the Reclaiming idea that Deity is a many-faceted gem, with each face being a particular god or goddess or spirit that people revere, worship, etc. All these gods/goddesses are aspects of the One, and all are valid. I'm also wondering what the OED has to say on this, because I think the root is Greek and may have been a verb. Time to call Ellen.
What brought me to the workshop, other than being a craft and theater geek: well. Before I knew what aspecting /was/, when I had only the vaguest idea, I had an experience with it that was deep and powerful. I wanted to know more about it. I also wanted a chance to get to know the instructor and her work a little better, since I wasn't able to follow that path at camp and it seemed really interesting. It's much more visual- and movement- and dance-oriented, and that's an aspect of theater and ritual that I need to work with some more.
The preparation for the workshop was to do a seeking trance, with instructions that were sent out. Basically, seek out the deity or spirit for which you'll make the mask--either going in with a specific deity in mind, or letting something come. Now I'm not a devotee of anything in particular except the Earth Mother, and I thought about that briefly but decided it was a little big to start with. So I went with the open mind option, and was a bit nervous that I wouldn't "get" anything. What if I threw a meditation and nobody came?
So, the night before, cause that's when I always do any homework. And Graham is going to bed, and I have to trance in my backyard. I've never done this on my own, even, except for a couple of attempts at deep breathing and relaxation exercises; I've certainly never done it seeking an actual vision, outside of my visionquest at witchcamp. So I go back and take a couple of towels and lie down on the concrete next to my herb garden spot I'm putting in. Graham rattles around inside, and eventually goes to bed to read. I'm not getting anywhere, so I shift over so that I'm actually lying on the dirt. And eventually, as I go mentally through the process the teacher gave us--basically, start out in your place of power and then take a path northward--eventually, I get the impression, the vaguest impression, of a face. A creature. Reminds me very much of a typical Green Man mask, or faerie creature. The first thing I really see is the mask: kind of butterfly-shaped like a lot of Green Man faces, but a bit more delicate, definitely feminine. She's kind of hanging back in the trees, peeking out from behind one. In the shadows, in the dark, doesn't like the light.
So I asked her permission, and had the impression that it was okay. No words, and really not that much that was visually clear--in fact, from the start I had a really hard time attaining trance and getting any clear imagining at all. It was a big thing just to get the visual of her face, and the mask itself--so I had some idea of where to go. I'm not very visually oriented, to start with, I guess. I was glad that I came to the day with a visual shape and some sketches. Not much, but a little.
I had a pretty powerful experience with aspecting at witch camp; the spirit I called up on that occasion was wild, almost too wild for me to really feel in control of things, and when I woke up the next day I actually felt the need to do a ritual for setting aside the mask and that particular spirit. That was the first time I bathed in the creek. COLD. I think one of the reasons that experience was so edgy was the lack of experience or giudance, and the fact that I didn't go into it with a clear intent of what exactly I was calling forth.
By contrast, the workshop was a controlled sort of environment, where we pretty much went in having already searched out the deity we would depict and channel in the mask. (Not that I got a very clear idea, exactly, of what that spirit really was--just forest, and feminine, like a Green Man but a force of shadow and night rather than the sunlight and life-giving aspect).
The creating part of the workshop went well. We talked a bit, and then started, casting a big circle to last all day and evening, and an inner circle just for the first bit of making the plaster cast. There was a bit of a meditation that was a repeat of the prep thing, partly I think because at least one person showed up without having done it. We did the casting in pairs, laying on the mask for each other. The base was a prepped gauze, a kind of "instant plaster" product that we cut out into basic shapes. The shapes formed a structural framework; then this stiff, plaster-impregnated gauze was dipped into warm water and laid on the face. While this was happening, Copper was doing a guided trance for the people who were having the stuff laid on them, and she guided the mask-makers with gestures and sometimes came over to people to help. It was very smooth. And within the trance part, while it was slightly distracting to have gooey stuff laid on your face with your eyes closed, it was also oddly relaxing to not have to /do/ anything. I found the other side (laying on the mask) a little stressful, mostly because I was worried about doing a good job--of course there was an artist in the class who did immaculate mask-laying. :) The masks hardened on the face in about twenty minutes. Copper did an interesting narration here, something like: "Now, begin to be aware of your own face again--what is you, and what is 'other,' as you feel the other begin to harden and pull away from your skin..." Then as part of the removal we 'breathed' the essence of the spirit into the masks as we removed them for ourselves. After the masks were all cast, we 'devoked' the inner circle and broke for lunch to let them dry completely. Then we spent the afternoon constructing, painting, and adding stuff to the base that we had.
When we did the aspecting/summoning ritual in the evening, I felt very 'quiet' going into it--and partly out of curiosity, I made my invitation to the forest spirit very broad; I didn't set any limitations beyond 'coming back' when I was supposed to, and extended my trust to the other. I definitely felt something--at first I was only trying to feel, but then I started to get definite impulses. The first one was an impatience at being inside, confined; I left the barn and felt a lot better. I felt no need to speak, but there was a definite voice as I explored the farm. I consciously went to places I had been, so there was definitely a part of 'me' there; gradually, though, it faded a bit as I got used to the very childlike, animal way of perceiving.
It was 'method acting' in the sense that on some level, I imagined myself as this entity, and I became her: I felt the impulses this 'character' would feel, and lived in her perceptions, the same way I viscerally become my character when roleplaying. (Although with text, there's an intellectual 'filter' in place as far as what I put out, there isn't any filtering of what goes in; my stomach has been known to turn over when someone says or does something emotionally charged in RP, and I cry when my characters do.) There are differences between this and acting, though.
I think the primary difference is that before the acting part, method acting is an intellectual exercise as well as a physical one. You're not just reading the script but learning/researching the character's experiences and environment as thoroughly as you can, in order to better and more completely 'become' and believe. I'm reminded of our Boleslavsky text in first-year acting: Acting is Believing. With acting, you first find out as much as you can about who you'll become. This wasn't /quite/ a leap in the dark, since some people will cleave to a particular named deity and find out about them beforehand... but for me, it was a spirit without a name, an unknown quantity. It's as if that whole "conscious knowledge" step got skipped, and things went straight from the concept/vision of the being to 'acting' through the self. The only intermediate exercises were the meditations, attempting to communicate with the spirit, and one movement exercise we did all together at the beginning of the ritual. (During the "channeling" part, everyone was once again partnered, so that anyone aspecting had someone to tend to them.) Aspecting itself is considered both an act of devotion to Deity, and an avenue to get to know that 'aspect' of Deity better.
The other difference I can discern is that as an actor, one remains in conscious control; the character-consciousness is supposed to be secondary, taking a backseat to matters of skill, blocking, discipline, all that stuff. In exercises there can sometimes be roleplaying spontaneity--but on some level you remain yourself. It's possible, of course, to work an aspecting where the self remains in the figurative "driver's seat"--we're not practicing Voudou here--but I did the opposite, inviting the spirit to come into me as fully as she wished to. I never felt out of control, but after the first couple of minutes I also didn't feel like I was consciously directing or thinking of things; I was being, and I was not being Cari. There was no process of "this is what X would feel, and so I will express it"--there was only, first, imagining what it is like to be X, and then, feeling and seeing and being X. (And now I'm tempted to call her Madame X, but that would be SILLY.) At one point, my tender--who was acting as a tour guide, sort of, going around with me and pointing out things that 'I' might wish to see--took me to this huge fallen redwood, which had been sawn through where the driveway was. You see this a lot in the redwood basin. The thought comes to me now that a lot of those old giants may not have been cut down, but they're simply obstacles across the way, and people want to build a road there, so they cut through the roadblock. However, when I saw the old, worn-down cross-section, I put my hand to it and felt confusion and rage. I actually growled. It wasn't that Cari went through an environmentalist thought process, and thought, "I bet a nature-spirit would be upset" . . . there was no thinking. Not even any verbalization, which is rare for me--I'm a very word-oriented person, which you will know if you've read this much (go you!). In fact, most of my time as 'her' I not only didn't speak, I didn't think in words at all. There were some sounds, not a lot, but some nonverbal communicative noises. And some growling.
I learned things. I met another "spirit teacher," of sorts, although I'm not sure of her name. I have a really cool mask, and I got in touch with parts of me that don't normally get a lot of exercise or attention. Copper's doing a Shadow mask workshop in November . . . and I think if it's at all possible, I'll be there.
I want to do it again.
At the moment, I have that feeling of becoming and changing--that I am coming to power, learning from experiences, growing as a person. It's a good feeling.