'it's better to be hated for who you are than loved for what you're not' -kurt cobain

[carkass]

i don't think i believe in god anymore. or, at least, i don't believe in a lot of the things i used to. i didn't ever really realize this until i was talking to my friend josh the other day and he told me about how god told him to talk about prayer with his roommate. and it surprised me that he thought/knew it was god. i used to hear/listen to that

Comments

[mellybrelly]

Better to believe in nothing than believe for the wrong reasons, in my mind. I've struggled with my faith A LOT over the past few years, and I've come to terms with a god that I feel might be there, that I might even trust, but it is not the god I heard about in church.

[carkass]

true that. i'm not quite there yet. did you watch the video?
it hurts my heart every time i watch it.

[mellybrelly]

I watched the beginning and plan on watching the rest later.

[carkass]

okay good.

[suzys_poetry]

Just don't give up on God because you're confused with the way you've been taught to see him. He may exist in a different way, or even a different tradition. (I really gotta look more into that orthadox stuff.)
Either way, if you choose not to believe in a god, I still love ya the same =J
I just encourage you to research it rather than just let the whole thing go...

[carkass]

haha, i knew you'd have something to say. and even though you probably knew that I knew that you would say something, i'm glad you did.

i think part of it, too, was the other day i found myself talking to a 'non-christian' and defending something i'd been taught to believe but wasn't even really believing myself. it was almost out of habit. and it made me feel really weird.

[suzys_poetry]

Ya, I know what you mean, and I totally encourage you to question everything...because there is no point if you're just following what you've been taught. I just encourage you to figure out WHY you do or don't believe different aspects of what you know...and go from there. Likely you will hold on to a few truths, and discard other things you find out to be false.
I've been figuring a few things out lately, and your post last night actually ended up encouraging me...because I'm figuring out more and more why I DO believe, and the alternative is seeming less and less feasible.
Love ya!

[imaginarylove]

is this why you didn't want me talking about not believing in god... it was very confusing for me... because i didn't feel like i was trying to convince you not to believe but because i was feeling a certain way about how things are and what i actually believe.

i was just watching this:

i only get confused because i still "ask god" for things... to help me from being so sick (illness) or for things to work out... and i thank him if things turn out well... but otherwise, that video is where i'm at. kind of. softer than that maybe.

[imaginarylove]

i was going to write something on facebook (probably lj first) about my lack of faith... how i lost faith... don't know if i had any to begin with... --i don't know how to describe it, actually. partially because there's no easy way to begin that conversation with "friends" you had in bible college. cause i say goddamn a lot and that seems out of order for a "christian." and i'd want to let the people know how pissed i am about how "nice" "christians" can be out of obligation.

[suzys_poetry]

Ya, there's a whole lot of things I could never say to other "bible college people" now a days...things I couldn't have even said to myself back then...I think maybe a lot of us are figuring things out these days. I think it's great that you still "ask God" for things. You don't need to have figured him out to still want to talk to him...maybe he's just different now.
Anyway, I hope I haven't said anything negative...I encourage your searching..

[carkass]

i still think he punishes me for things i do wrong. like if something doesn't work out i think, it must be god getting back at me for that other thing last week. like he's even petty at all. i guess i do still believe in him/her. on some level anyway.

[yrsuchariot]

Something I find rather amusing about human beings is how much time and effort they put into deciding (and then declaring) whether or not they believe in God. If there is a God, and if he exists, whether or not we believe in him is irrelevant. Really.

[carkass]

i think it's compeltely relevant. maybe not to him, but to us it is. to me anyway.

[yrsuchariot]

I guess I am more speaking of the grand scheme of things.

[suzys_poetry]

*Sigh* I love what you wrote here! So great!

[carkass]

thank you so much larry. this was really really encouraging.