41 years later

[carl_allery]

41 years ago, I started at school in Wells. 5 years later we moved into the city and ever since then, wherever I've lived (never far away in any case), I've been in Wells every week or two at the very least to visit my parents or check on their house if they were away. For 2 and a half of the last 3 years, I lived there again, looking after my

Comments

[heleninwales]

It is a weird feeling, isn't it? Unlike you, I had no real connection to Prestatyn, other than it was the town where my father settled after he retired 30 years ago. But even so, after travelling up once a week for a couple of years to keep an eye on my Dad (he had carers coming in as well, of course), it felt odd to leave the bungalow for that last time and since then I've had no reason to visit Prestatyn or that part of North East Wales at all.

[carl_allery]

Yes, very strange. I found myself going round the rooms yesterday saying - 'Bye-bye House' - even though I never felt that attached to it. Just the sheer length of time I think. My brother and I both liked the sense of 'belonging' that came with a place we could stay over. I find myself feeling for the boarders who lived in Wells for 11 years (during term time) and who must have felt the same when they left school.

[camies]

It must be a very strange feeling. I'm getting something similar as I'm now selling the house in Kingston. So I'm not only letting go of the house where I lived 2005-11 - but the area where I was born and grew up. Even Hammersmith where I lived for years before moving back to Kingston, isn't that far away from it.

[carl_allery]

Yes, although I have a long association with Wells, I'd never claim to 'be from' there. I was born in Bristol (by virtue of requiring a specialist hospital for potential rhesus factor complications) while my parents lived in various Somerset areas, though neither is from the county. My brother was born in Minehead (hospital) and feels an affinity for the town though has also never lived there. I've always found it difficult to define where I'm 'from'. My formative years (5 - 13) were spent on the Bristol Channel coast, the only house I'd consider going back to, though not exactly a 'dream' house or location.

I think, as you say, that it's the 'letting go' of the connection with an area that's difficult, but I suspect my relationship with the town will transform to the way I feel about Glastonbury/Street. I lived in Street for 10 years (and was at school in Glastonbury for 4 years) but now use the garage and tend to meet friends in Glastonbury and feel as at home there as when I lived in the area.

[khiemtran]

I think you can still claim a connection with a place even if you don't live there. But it is also a strange feeling when you hand over a house to someone else and suddenly it's not yours anymore and it will be part of someone else stories from now on.

[carl_allery]

I am an inveterate pack-rat (apparently inherited from my father) and hate letting things go, so yes, handing over the house feels like disposing of stuff that I don't necessarily want, but feels too useful to just let go of. :) But the loss of a large area of my recent responsibilities is a huge relief and that's gradually dawning on me. I no longer have to think in terms of what needs to be done in Wells and have lost the requirement for frequent travel out of town, except when I choose to.

[pennski]

Congratulations on such a milestone. I understand the displaced feeling too - I feel it vicariously after my parents moved last summer from the house I grew up in. I've just about started mentally picturing them in their new home when I think about them.

[carl_allery]

Thank you. It's a huge relief to be honest. Strange on the day, but no longer so clear. Easier also to let go now that it's been empty for a while.

[birdsedge]

Moving out of a house is definitely a weird feeling. We've been in Birdsedge for 34 years, but prior to that we had a house in Wakefield and a house in Netherton (between Wakefield and Birdsedge). I regularly drive past the Wakefield house and although I feel brief affection for the memory of what it used to be, possibly because it was our first house, the instant we moved out, I ceased to have any deep connection with it. I have no feelings whatsoever for the inbetween house at Netherton. It was never more than a stopgap house for us, even though we stayed there almost six years and our first child was born there. I came to the conclusion that 'home is where the stuff is.' Whatever the walls look like, it's the stuff that makes the whole place feel familiar. Even that last look round as you move out is weird, because once your stuff has gone the place doesn't feel like home anyway

[carl_allery]

To be honest, I've now lived in this house the longest - 15 years. 5yrs, 8yrs, 11yrs, 1yr, 2yrs, 7yrs and now 15. It's certainly not the last one I'll inhabit, so 36yrs of association with my parents house made it somewhat of ananchor I suppose.