Oh, my dear, how awful. You have been a saint dealing with this for so long, but it is plain your Dad now needs specialist care that you cannot give. I wish I could magic those 23 days away, but I can't, so...
It was such a relief to get my Dad into hospital, then care, but I never actually had to look after him. I just don't have the empathy or patience to cope, which is why I think you've been wonderful. I couldn't have done it...
I completely second what Lil says - it's so hard, and he really does need specialist care. Hang in there - 23 days and if you need an ear please message me via FB or email. T says ditto.
Thanks. Just venting here helps. It's rarely so many things in one day and, well, knowing there's a set end date really helps. And of course it all helps to confirm that moving him is the best thing to do. More frustration now should mean less guilt later - I hope. :)
All I can do is send supportive vibes in your direction and hope that today was an aberration and he's easier to manage for the rest of the three weeks.
Just a thought, is there a care provider who could send a carer round to give you a little respite? Even a couple of hours to watch TV in peace or get out for a bit of fresh air might help.
Yes, just in the last few weeks we've got a 2 hr sitting session on Wednesday and a 1hr personal care visit on Friday, when someone else deals with the shower. Only next week the sitting is cancelled because we've got to go to the memory clinic in the middle of the appointment. That's how I managed to get the bike MOT'd after a year without riding it. Only 2 more weeks in any case.
Hugs. I'm guessing that now you're so close to your dad going into a safe and secure home, that you'll notice the frustrations more. If you didn't have the home booked, you'd be drealing with all of these frustrations and not letting it get to you as much because you'd know that there was no alternative but to cope because that's how it is. But now there's a possibility, nay a probablility, or even a certainty, that in a few weeks time that will not be 'how it is' and you'll be able to get on with the rest of your life. Suddenly those frustrations become more noticeable, more niggling, because soon they will not be your frustrations to deal with.
It's perfectly natural. You've done a brilliant job, and soon it's coming to an end. You're going to be able to make changes and that's got to be unsettling in itself, welcome though those changes will be.
You've got my number if you need to call and vent. Or email. Hang in there. You've done the impossible. That makes you mighty!
I think it's a certain combination of things that manages to hit the limiter for me. Last summer I recall a similar day when I just couldn't seem to find a decent signal for Test Match Special. And again, I could deal with all the usual frustrations and issues of looking after my father, it was just this one thing that was going to brighten my day that I couldn't get to happen and it seemed like the biggest thing ever
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It was such a relief to get my Dad into hospital, then care, but I never actually had to look after him. I just don't have the empathy or patience to cope, which is why I think you've been wonderful. I couldn't have done it...
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More virtual hugs from over here.
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Just a thought, is there a care provider who could send a carer round to give you a little respite? Even a couple of hours to watch TV in peace or get out for a bit of fresh air might help.
Reply
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I'm guessing that now you're so close to your dad going into a safe and secure home, that you'll notice the frustrations more. If you didn't have the home booked, you'd be drealing with all of these frustrations and not letting it get to you as much because you'd know that there was no alternative but to cope because that's how it is. But now there's a possibility, nay a probablility, or even a certainty, that in a few weeks time that will not be 'how it is' and you'll be able to get on with the rest of your life. Suddenly those frustrations become more noticeable, more niggling, because soon they will not be your frustrations to deal with.
It's perfectly natural. You've done a brilliant job, and soon it's coming to an end. You're going to be able to make changes and that's got to be unsettling in itself, welcome though those changes will be.
You've got my number if you need to call and vent. Or email.
Hang in there.
You've done the impossible. That makes you mighty!
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