Carmen, sometimes I wish you were born a boy.

(Not for the girls, but for the boys)

John acquired Fern Gully on DVD for me.
My mother and I couldn't find it.
I now have Fern Gully on DVD.
That's pretty awesome.

people try to be like people ( Read more... )

*guidance counselor calls me into office*

Guidance counselor: I hear you've been contemplating suicide?
Carmen: And you haven't, You guidance counselor?

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jesse o'connell you could be here with me right now but you're NOT.

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I can't get a job naming colors for crayola. All of the colors already have names.

So I finally decided that when I grow up, I want to be that chick who wears a hoochie dress plated in sequins and presents prizes for Bob Barker on The Price is Right.

Then I noticed that my legs aren't long enough.

fuuuuck, man.

't has been a weekend


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So I am eating Teddy Grahams, and pull up a teddy graham that is connected at the head to the feet of another cookie with a sad face because he's so warped.

They swim.

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