When I Ruled the World
Title: When I Ruled the World
Rating: pg-13 (to be on the safe side)
Author:
carmexgirl
Pairings: Matt/Mohinder, Mohinder/Peter (implied)
Summary: Matt has been imprisoned. He has one last visitor.
A/N: Erm... this is a bit sad. Set in an AU future. Not quite 5 Years Gone, but similar... It doesn't end well. You have been warned.
He opened the door and stepped inside, his eyes adjusting to the harsh light of the cell. Staring ahead of him, past the grey walls, the grey floors, and to the very end, he saw him, sitting on the bench, looking at the floor. Mohinder gulped, unsure of what to say. He hadn’t spoken to him properly in nearly five years, and now, in the worst possible circumstances, he had come to see him.
Matt looked up and stared at him. His hollow eyes blinked a few times, as if trying to comprehend what he was seeing. He spoke, his voice hoarse, but still bearing the same harsh tone it had picked up through the years. Only now, there was something else in there; a faint vulnerability seemed to tint the edges, as though somewhere in that still large body, fear resided.
“So, the bastards have sent you to do it. Of all the people.” He said bitterly, screwing his nose up in disgust. “The man I haven’t seen or spoke to for five years.”
Mohinder took a deep breath. “No. I’m not the one they’ve chosen. I just… I wanted to see you before…” he couldn’t bring himself to say the words. Even after everything that had happened, the thought of the inevitable crushed him to the core.
“…before I die. Before someone in a white coat comes and sticks me with a needle, and it all goes black. You can say it. I don’t fear the inevitable. After all, isn’t it true that most of the great leaders came to a violent end?” He smiled bitterly. Mohinder shook slightly, and walked closer to him, still unable to speak.
“So, why are you here?” The was a faint impatience in Matt’s voice.
Mohinder sat down opposite him, desperately thinking. He had had it all worked out; everything he had wanted to say. He had gone over the speech a thousand times in his head. And yet, the words seemed stuck in his chest, painful, immovable, lodged there for ever more. He ran his fingers through his hair, desperately grasping for the right words, while his foot tapped nervously on the floor.
“I forgot how cute you looked when you’re nervous.” There was that smile again - once genuine, now bitter.
“Don’t Matt, please.” It was the first time he had said his name. Normally he was unable to say it, and just called him ‘General Parkman.’ The two entities were distinct in his mind, and now, together with him in his cell, he was still unsure what to call him.
“Don’t what? Don’t remember? Don’t remember that we were once in love, that we once had a family?”
Mohinder suddenly felt a surge of emotion. He had a strong compulsion to run over and grab Matt, pull him up and lead him out of there. He stood up, full of purpose, and went to walk over to him. Immediately, the compulsion died away. He sat back down, and shook his head sadly.
“Very good Matt, but it won’t work.” He sighed.
“Is your husband protecting you?” Matt practically spat the words out.
“Yes. He’s just outside. He can block whatever you try to make me do” he shuddered, “but he has promised me that h won’t listen in on what we say. He can’t hear us.”
Matt snorted in disgust. “Oh, all hail ‘Saint’ Peter, ‘Saviour of the World.’”
“He has saved the world. He has saved the world from people like you.”
Matt’s eyes widened. He looked visibly taken aback. The words cut through him like a knife, cut right to his very soul.
“You know you’re going to die. You know how this is going to end. After all, you were the one to set this up in the first place. It was one of your ideas, wasn’t it? ‘The final punishment for those who do not comply.’ Well you have been over thrown, and those who did not comply are now enacting their revenge. There is nothing neither you nor I can do about it.”
Matt went as if to say something, but then settled back. They both sat in silence for a while, neither wanting to say anything. Neither knowing what they could say.
Mohinder stared at Matt. The man he knew had all but disappeared in the five years they’d been apart. This man seemed to be a shadow of his former self. His eyes were hollow and sunken, his hair greying. His mouth, which once formed the perfect goofy smile, was now permanently twisted into a strange mock-genuine half-smile; one that started and remained on his lips. The rest of his face retained a cool indifference. His eyes remained dull and yellowing, while his forehead now bore the permanent marks of guilt and worry. The man he once was had now been hidden under a veil of hate and manipulation. Mohinder felt himself torn apart. He had put himself though this for a reason; he needed so see if there was any sliver of genuine redemption left in this man. He knew it was selfish on his part. He knew he was doing it partly to remind himself that the man he had once loved had changed beyond recognition, with any hint of his former self long gone, lost in years of hate and murder. He had to find out, and being silent was getting him nowhere.
He brushed a single tear from his eye and sighed. “What happened Matt?” Saying his name seemed to bruise his insides. He faltered, then steeled himself and carried on. “What happened to us?”
“What happened is, you left.” Matt was staring at him full in the face, eyes seemingly glowing, voice full of bitterness. “You left, and you never said a word.”
“I left for my safety. For Molly’s safety. Things had fallen apart far, far in advance of that day.”
“When Mohinder? When did it fall apart?” A spark pricked Matt’s eyes, and he stood up, suddenly animated. As he stared at Mohinder, a calm seemed to envelop him. He sat back down again, listening intently.
Mohinder sat and stared in silence. He knew exactly when it had fallen apart. He knew the date, the day, and the time. It had stuck with him all these years.
It was six years ago, the 27th, a Monday, at approximately 3.30pm. Matt had arrived home early from work, in a gleeful mood. He’d practically picked Mohinder up and swung him around the room, laughing at his protestations to put him down. He sat them both down in the couch, and began talking excitedly, at how he had been poached by The Company. He was now going to work for them, earning more money, doing ‘security’ work. Mohinder had asked what this entailed, but Matt stayed vague, mentioning something about ensuring the wrong people were kept out of company buildings, and preventing them from harming the population. Mohinder was a little worried that the work may be too dangerous, but realised that Matt was a big, sensible guy, who wouldn’t let anything bad happen, and could take care of himself. That night they ate takeaway, and had wonderful, joyous sex while Molly slept contentedly in the other room.
Weeks, months went by, and Mohinder gradually noticed a change in Matt. The man he loved had become broody, temperamental, demanding. As work with the Company intensified, he saw him less and less, never knowing when he was coming home, and what state he would be in once he got there. One day, he came home with a gaping wound in his arm, deep, and bleeding profusely. Mohinder begged him to go to hospital, but he refused, instead letting Mohinder wash the wound and bandage it up as best he could. When Mohinder tried to get out of him what had happened, he shouted him down, told him it was nothing, told him to stop fussing and just forget about it. An occupational hazard. They had more and more petty arguments, only at the end of them, Mohinder would find himself agreeing with Matt, and forgetting about what made them argue in the first place. Molly, for her part, gradually grew quieter, and often disappeared for hours, without saying where she had been or what she had been doing. Even so, all the time they were with Matt, it was as if they were shrouded in happiness.
Matt quickly rose through the company ranks. His higher wage meant they could change apartments, move to a better area, and have everything they ever wanted. Then, one day, while Matt was away working, Mohinder had a visitor. Peter told him he had been spying on Matt, that he knew exactly what Matt’s work at the company entailed. Matt worked with them to find out ‘special people’, and controlled them. This could mean using his mind to manipulate them, injecting them to subdue their powers, or killing them if they put up resistance. Matt had risen in stature, and become more and more ruthless, indiscriminately taking out people who were a threat - both to the Company, but also to him. Mohinder had argued, telling Peter that Matt would never do such a thing, that he was wrong. Peter left the evidence, telling him he needed to open his eyes. Only then would he be able to make up his own mind.
It was a year later when Mohinder finally opened his eyes. Matt had come home, once again joyous, and they had once again had wonderful sex. As they lay in bed, Matt revealed he had found Janice. She was harbouring a son, a ‘special’ that was potentially dangerous, given that he possessed the same power Matt had. He smiled, and told how his men had taken the boy, while he was left to listen to Janice beg him for mercy. He told him how good it felt, to have the woman who had made a fool of him fall at his feet and beg him. It made him happy to think how much he had grown; how much power he now yielded and could exert over the people who had hurt him in the past. He liked his lips gleefully, and then calmly told him how he had shot her husband, who was potentially dangerous. He had stared at Mohinder, as though intending the tale to be a lesson to him. Mohinder remembered how a shiver had run down his spine at that moment, fully understanding what Matt was saying, and suddenly petrified.
The night Mohinder fled was the most terrifying of his entire life. He had arranged things with Peter beforehand - he would wait outside the apartment while Mohinder collected a few essentials, rouse Molly, and then walked out. It needed to be done while Matt slept, when his influence over them was at its weakest. Peter had not developed his mental powers then, and would have been no match for Matt had he been fully awake. Fortunately, a hard day had Matt crawling straight into bed and into a deep sleep. Mohinder carefully slipped a note under his pillow, before quietly waking Molly and leaving the apartment.
Once outside with Peter, it was as though a strange fog had been lifted from his mind, and he could see the world as it was once more. He stared up to the apartment, two tears falling from his eyes, pining for the loss of the man he had once loved. It had taken him so long, but he and his daughter were finally free.
***
“It fell apart a long time before I left.” Mohinder said finally.
Matt shook his head. “You should have stayed. It was wonderful, Mohinder. After I killed Bob, I became head of the Company. People looked up to me. People feared me. I had everything… If you had stayed, we could have had it all Mohinder. We could have ruled the world.”
Mohinder stood up, anger flowing through him. “But I didn’t want that. I didn’t want the world; I wanted our corner of New York. I wanted pizza on Fridays, parents’ evenings, children’s parties, walks in the rain, a freezing cold apartment, cuddling up to each other for warmth… I never wanted the world; I just wanted you, me and Molly. You understood that, but then you changed. As you did more and more work for…” he couldn’t bring himself to say the name, “you became more obsessed with power, and wanting revenge over those you felt had wronged you. I couldn’t live with that. I couldn’t compromise my daughter’s safety, and I couldn’t live in fear of what you might have done to me had I put a foot wrong.”
“So you banded together, with that traitor Peter, and Hiro, Monica, even Sylar. Your merry band of brothers and sisters, helping the people I needed to control, plotting to overthrow me. I knew Peter had designs on you from the start. I knew he was the one that made you leave me.” Matt spoke bitter words, but his tone belied an intense sadness.
“I left of my own accord” Mohinder shouted. “And do you know what?” his voice was quavering, “It tore me apart to do it. It tore me in two to see the man I had once loved, that I still loved, the man who used to be so kind, generous, helpful, loving… to see that man turn into someone obsessed with power, with controlling people and forcing them to do your every bidding.” Mohinder’s eyes started watering again, as he desperately tried to fight back tears. As he wiped his eyes, he looked at Matt, and was shocked to see his eyes were red too.
“I would never have hurt you” Matt said sadly, “I loved you.”
“I loved you too. I loved you will all my heart. I loved our home, our little girl, how we made plans for the future, how we made love and thought the rest of the world could go to hell, as long as we were happy and together.”
Mohinder saw something in Matt’s. Their lustre had dulled with all those years of violence and manipulation, but now, in the cold light of death, he saw a softness there.
“Can I see Molly?” Matt said, a hint of hope in his voice. “I want to see her.”
“No” Mohinder shook his head. “No you can’t. She’s far, far away. Away from you, from your manipulation and your hate.”
“I just wanted to see her before… I want to explain. I want to tell her I’m sorry.”
“And are you?” Mohinder looked at him, unsure whether to believe him. Unsure whether he was trying to find another way to manipulate him, once that didn’t involved mentally forcing him.
Matt stared at Mohinder. He stared at the man he once loved, the man that, deep down he still loved. His eyes moved down to the wedding ring on his left hand. Finally a realisation washed over him. The knowledge suddenly broke that he could have it, could have had everything. It had taken him five long years to try and figure out what he wanted. Now, close to death, he realised he had had it all along, and just threw it away. Swept it under the carpet. Up until that point, Mohinder had just been another one of those people who had left him, another face to act his revenge upon.
As Mohinder looked on, he saw tears fall down Matt’s face. Slowly at first, before suddenly gushing forth in a torrent of unbridled emotion. He wiped tears away from his own eyes, desperately trying not to break. He still couldn’t be sure if this was an act, another one of Matt’s manipulations. More sadness washed over him as he realised that he could never be sure any more; could never be sure if Matt was genuine or not. Even with Peter’s block, Mohinder still couldn’t decide. He watched the man in front of him - a once formidable man, who sparked fear and hatred among so many people, cry like a lost child.
“I’m sorry Matt” he said through choked tears. “It has to be this way. No-one can trust you any more. I can’t trust you any more.” He wiped his eyes, and turned away.
“Mohinder!” Matt called. The harshness in his voice had disappeared. For one brief moment, he sounded like the old Matt. “I still love you. I always have. Throughout everything… I never stopped loving you. Tell me… tell me you still feel the same?”
Mohinder turned to face him. He seemed so small at that moment. Every fibre of his being wanted to reach out and gather him up into his arms, kiss the tears away, and tell him that everything would be ok, that they would run away together and start again. He stood there, still frozen.
“Go back, Mohinder. Go back and prevent this from happening. You can stop it. You can stop me joining the Company, you can stop the killing. We can be together, we can be happy. Peter will help you - Peter will want to save lives too.” His voice had become high-pitched, and he was on his knees now, pleading.
Mohinder shook his head. “No Matt. It’s too late. I’ve already lost the man I loved; I wouldn’t wish the same on Peter.” He looked down at his hand, and twisted the wedding ring around on his finger. “I stopped… I stopped loving you a long time ago. You made it that way. Goodbye Matt.”
The last word was more of a whisper - Mohinder could barely get it out. He couched back tears and turned around. His footsteps echoed around the empty cell, deafening. He walked through the door, and heard a faint, “Goodbye, Mohinder. I’m sorry,” before the door closed behind him.
As the door clicked shut, Mohinder suddenly broke. He fell to the floor, sobbing and wailing, shaking uncontrollably. Suddenly a hand was on his back, and Peter’s wide eyes stared into his. “I’m ok” said Mohinder, trying to catch his breath. “I’m ok.”
They heard footsteps, as a nurse turned the corner. She nodded a cursory ‘hello’, before keying in the door code. The door opened, and she walked in, carrying a tray of syringes.
Rating: pg-13 (to be on the safe side)
Author:
carmexgirl
Pairings: Matt/Mohinder, Mohinder/Peter (implied)
Summary: Matt has been imprisoned. He has one last visitor.
A/N: Erm... this is a bit sad. Set in an AU future. Not quite 5 Years Gone, but similar... It doesn't end well. You have been warned.
He opened the door and stepped inside, his eyes adjusting to the harsh light of the cell. Staring ahead of him, past the grey walls, the grey floors, and to the very end, he saw him, sitting on the bench, looking at the floor. Mohinder gulped, unsure of what to say. He hadn’t spoken to him properly in nearly five years, and now, in the worst possible circumstances, he had come to see him.
Matt looked up and stared at him. His hollow eyes blinked a few times, as if trying to comprehend what he was seeing. He spoke, his voice hoarse, but still bearing the same harsh tone it had picked up through the years. Only now, there was something else in there; a faint vulnerability seemed to tint the edges, as though somewhere in that still large body, fear resided.
“So, the bastards have sent you to do it. Of all the people.” He said bitterly, screwing his nose up in disgust. “The man I haven’t seen or spoke to for five years.”
Mohinder took a deep breath. “No. I’m not the one they’ve chosen. I just… I wanted to see you before…” he couldn’t bring himself to say the words. Even after everything that had happened, the thought of the inevitable crushed him to the core.
“…before I die. Before someone in a white coat comes and sticks me with a needle, and it all goes black. You can say it. I don’t fear the inevitable. After all, isn’t it true that most of the great leaders came to a violent end?” He smiled bitterly. Mohinder shook slightly, and walked closer to him, still unable to speak.
“So, why are you here?” The was a faint impatience in Matt’s voice.
Mohinder sat down opposite him, desperately thinking. He had had it all worked out; everything he had wanted to say. He had gone over the speech a thousand times in his head. And yet, the words seemed stuck in his chest, painful, immovable, lodged there for ever more. He ran his fingers through his hair, desperately grasping for the right words, while his foot tapped nervously on the floor.
“I forgot how cute you looked when you’re nervous.” There was that smile again - once genuine, now bitter.
“Don’t Matt, please.” It was the first time he had said his name. Normally he was unable to say it, and just called him ‘General Parkman.’ The two entities were distinct in his mind, and now, together with him in his cell, he was still unsure what to call him.
“Don’t what? Don’t remember? Don’t remember that we were once in love, that we once had a family?”
Mohinder suddenly felt a surge of emotion. He had a strong compulsion to run over and grab Matt, pull him up and lead him out of there. He stood up, full of purpose, and went to walk over to him. Immediately, the compulsion died away. He sat back down, and shook his head sadly.
“Very good Matt, but it won’t work.” He sighed.
“Is your husband protecting you?” Matt practically spat the words out.
“Yes. He’s just outside. He can block whatever you try to make me do” he shuddered, “but he has promised me that h won’t listen in on what we say. He can’t hear us.”
Matt snorted in disgust. “Oh, all hail ‘Saint’ Peter, ‘Saviour of the World.’”
“He has saved the world. He has saved the world from people like you.”
Matt’s eyes widened. He looked visibly taken aback. The words cut through him like a knife, cut right to his very soul.
“You know you’re going to die. You know how this is going to end. After all, you were the one to set this up in the first place. It was one of your ideas, wasn’t it? ‘The final punishment for those who do not comply.’ Well you have been over thrown, and those who did not comply are now enacting their revenge. There is nothing neither you nor I can do about it.”
Matt went as if to say something, but then settled back. They both sat in silence for a while, neither wanting to say anything. Neither knowing what they could say.
Mohinder stared at Matt. The man he knew had all but disappeared in the five years they’d been apart. This man seemed to be a shadow of his former self. His eyes were hollow and sunken, his hair greying. His mouth, which once formed the perfect goofy smile, was now permanently twisted into a strange mock-genuine half-smile; one that started and remained on his lips. The rest of his face retained a cool indifference. His eyes remained dull and yellowing, while his forehead now bore the permanent marks of guilt and worry. The man he once was had now been hidden under a veil of hate and manipulation. Mohinder felt himself torn apart. He had put himself though this for a reason; he needed so see if there was any sliver of genuine redemption left in this man. He knew it was selfish on his part. He knew he was doing it partly to remind himself that the man he had once loved had changed beyond recognition, with any hint of his former self long gone, lost in years of hate and murder. He had to find out, and being silent was getting him nowhere.
He brushed a single tear from his eye and sighed. “What happened Matt?” Saying his name seemed to bruise his insides. He faltered, then steeled himself and carried on. “What happened to us?”
“What happened is, you left.” Matt was staring at him full in the face, eyes seemingly glowing, voice full of bitterness. “You left, and you never said a word.”
“I left for my safety. For Molly’s safety. Things had fallen apart far, far in advance of that day.”
“When Mohinder? When did it fall apart?” A spark pricked Matt’s eyes, and he stood up, suddenly animated. As he stared at Mohinder, a calm seemed to envelop him. He sat back down again, listening intently.
Mohinder sat and stared in silence. He knew exactly when it had fallen apart. He knew the date, the day, and the time. It had stuck with him all these years.
It was six years ago, the 27th, a Monday, at approximately 3.30pm. Matt had arrived home early from work, in a gleeful mood. He’d practically picked Mohinder up and swung him around the room, laughing at his protestations to put him down. He sat them both down in the couch, and began talking excitedly, at how he had been poached by The Company. He was now going to work for them, earning more money, doing ‘security’ work. Mohinder had asked what this entailed, but Matt stayed vague, mentioning something about ensuring the wrong people were kept out of company buildings, and preventing them from harming the population. Mohinder was a little worried that the work may be too dangerous, but realised that Matt was a big, sensible guy, who wouldn’t let anything bad happen, and could take care of himself. That night they ate takeaway, and had wonderful, joyous sex while Molly slept contentedly in the other room.
Weeks, months went by, and Mohinder gradually noticed a change in Matt. The man he loved had become broody, temperamental, demanding. As work with the Company intensified, he saw him less and less, never knowing when he was coming home, and what state he would be in once he got there. One day, he came home with a gaping wound in his arm, deep, and bleeding profusely. Mohinder begged him to go to hospital, but he refused, instead letting Mohinder wash the wound and bandage it up as best he could. When Mohinder tried to get out of him what had happened, he shouted him down, told him it was nothing, told him to stop fussing and just forget about it. An occupational hazard. They had more and more petty arguments, only at the end of them, Mohinder would find himself agreeing with Matt, and forgetting about what made them argue in the first place. Molly, for her part, gradually grew quieter, and often disappeared for hours, without saying where she had been or what she had been doing. Even so, all the time they were with Matt, it was as if they were shrouded in happiness.
Matt quickly rose through the company ranks. His higher wage meant they could change apartments, move to a better area, and have everything they ever wanted. Then, one day, while Matt was away working, Mohinder had a visitor. Peter told him he had been spying on Matt, that he knew exactly what Matt’s work at the company entailed. Matt worked with them to find out ‘special people’, and controlled them. This could mean using his mind to manipulate them, injecting them to subdue their powers, or killing them if they put up resistance. Matt had risen in stature, and become more and more ruthless, indiscriminately taking out people who were a threat - both to the Company, but also to him. Mohinder had argued, telling Peter that Matt would never do such a thing, that he was wrong. Peter left the evidence, telling him he needed to open his eyes. Only then would he be able to make up his own mind.
It was a year later when Mohinder finally opened his eyes. Matt had come home, once again joyous, and they had once again had wonderful sex. As they lay in bed, Matt revealed he had found Janice. She was harbouring a son, a ‘special’ that was potentially dangerous, given that he possessed the same power Matt had. He smiled, and told how his men had taken the boy, while he was left to listen to Janice beg him for mercy. He told him how good it felt, to have the woman who had made a fool of him fall at his feet and beg him. It made him happy to think how much he had grown; how much power he now yielded and could exert over the people who had hurt him in the past. He liked his lips gleefully, and then calmly told him how he had shot her husband, who was potentially dangerous. He had stared at Mohinder, as though intending the tale to be a lesson to him. Mohinder remembered how a shiver had run down his spine at that moment, fully understanding what Matt was saying, and suddenly petrified.
The night Mohinder fled was the most terrifying of his entire life. He had arranged things with Peter beforehand - he would wait outside the apartment while Mohinder collected a few essentials, rouse Molly, and then walked out. It needed to be done while Matt slept, when his influence over them was at its weakest. Peter had not developed his mental powers then, and would have been no match for Matt had he been fully awake. Fortunately, a hard day had Matt crawling straight into bed and into a deep sleep. Mohinder carefully slipped a note under his pillow, before quietly waking Molly and leaving the apartment.
Once outside with Peter, it was as though a strange fog had been lifted from his mind, and he could see the world as it was once more. He stared up to the apartment, two tears falling from his eyes, pining for the loss of the man he had once loved. It had taken him so long, but he and his daughter were finally free.
***
“It fell apart a long time before I left.” Mohinder said finally.
Matt shook his head. “You should have stayed. It was wonderful, Mohinder. After I killed Bob, I became head of the Company. People looked up to me. People feared me. I had everything… If you had stayed, we could have had it all Mohinder. We could have ruled the world.”
Mohinder stood up, anger flowing through him. “But I didn’t want that. I didn’t want the world; I wanted our corner of New York. I wanted pizza on Fridays, parents’ evenings, children’s parties, walks in the rain, a freezing cold apartment, cuddling up to each other for warmth… I never wanted the world; I just wanted you, me and Molly. You understood that, but then you changed. As you did more and more work for…” he couldn’t bring himself to say the name, “you became more obsessed with power, and wanting revenge over those you felt had wronged you. I couldn’t live with that. I couldn’t compromise my daughter’s safety, and I couldn’t live in fear of what you might have done to me had I put a foot wrong.”
“So you banded together, with that traitor Peter, and Hiro, Monica, even Sylar. Your merry band of brothers and sisters, helping the people I needed to control, plotting to overthrow me. I knew Peter had designs on you from the start. I knew he was the one that made you leave me.” Matt spoke bitter words, but his tone belied an intense sadness.
“I left of my own accord” Mohinder shouted. “And do you know what?” his voice was quavering, “It tore me apart to do it. It tore me in two to see the man I had once loved, that I still loved, the man who used to be so kind, generous, helpful, loving… to see that man turn into someone obsessed with power, with controlling people and forcing them to do your every bidding.” Mohinder’s eyes started watering again, as he desperately tried to fight back tears. As he wiped his eyes, he looked at Matt, and was shocked to see his eyes were red too.
“I would never have hurt you” Matt said sadly, “I loved you.”
“I loved you too. I loved you will all my heart. I loved our home, our little girl, how we made plans for the future, how we made love and thought the rest of the world could go to hell, as long as we were happy and together.”
Mohinder saw something in Matt’s. Their lustre had dulled with all those years of violence and manipulation, but now, in the cold light of death, he saw a softness there.
“Can I see Molly?” Matt said, a hint of hope in his voice. “I want to see her.”
“No” Mohinder shook his head. “No you can’t. She’s far, far away. Away from you, from your manipulation and your hate.”
“I just wanted to see her before… I want to explain. I want to tell her I’m sorry.”
“And are you?” Mohinder looked at him, unsure whether to believe him. Unsure whether he was trying to find another way to manipulate him, once that didn’t involved mentally forcing him.
Matt stared at Mohinder. He stared at the man he once loved, the man that, deep down he still loved. His eyes moved down to the wedding ring on his left hand. Finally a realisation washed over him. The knowledge suddenly broke that he could have it, could have had everything. It had taken him five long years to try and figure out what he wanted. Now, close to death, he realised he had had it all along, and just threw it away. Swept it under the carpet. Up until that point, Mohinder had just been another one of those people who had left him, another face to act his revenge upon.
As Mohinder looked on, he saw tears fall down Matt’s face. Slowly at first, before suddenly gushing forth in a torrent of unbridled emotion. He wiped tears away from his own eyes, desperately trying not to break. He still couldn’t be sure if this was an act, another one of Matt’s manipulations. More sadness washed over him as he realised that he could never be sure any more; could never be sure if Matt was genuine or not. Even with Peter’s block, Mohinder still couldn’t decide. He watched the man in front of him - a once formidable man, who sparked fear and hatred among so many people, cry like a lost child.
“I’m sorry Matt” he said through choked tears. “It has to be this way. No-one can trust you any more. I can’t trust you any more.” He wiped his eyes, and turned away.
“Mohinder!” Matt called. The harshness in his voice had disappeared. For one brief moment, he sounded like the old Matt. “I still love you. I always have. Throughout everything… I never stopped loving you. Tell me… tell me you still feel the same?”
Mohinder turned to face him. He seemed so small at that moment. Every fibre of his being wanted to reach out and gather him up into his arms, kiss the tears away, and tell him that everything would be ok, that they would run away together and start again. He stood there, still frozen.
“Go back, Mohinder. Go back and prevent this from happening. You can stop it. You can stop me joining the Company, you can stop the killing. We can be together, we can be happy. Peter will help you - Peter will want to save lives too.” His voice had become high-pitched, and he was on his knees now, pleading.
Mohinder shook his head. “No Matt. It’s too late. I’ve already lost the man I loved; I wouldn’t wish the same on Peter.” He looked down at his hand, and twisted the wedding ring around on his finger. “I stopped… I stopped loving you a long time ago. You made it that way. Goodbye Matt.”
The last word was more of a whisper - Mohinder could barely get it out. He couched back tears and turned around. His footsteps echoed around the empty cell, deafening. He walked through the door, and heard a faint, “Goodbye, Mohinder. I’m sorry,” before the door closed behind him.
As the door clicked shut, Mohinder suddenly broke. He fell to the floor, sobbing and wailing, shaking uncontrollably. Suddenly a hand was on his back, and Peter’s wide eyes stared into his. “I’m ok” said Mohinder, trying to catch his breath. “I’m ok.”
They heard footsteps, as a nurse turned the corner. She nodded a cursory ‘hello’, before keying in the door code. The door opened, and she walked in, carrying a tray of syringes.