Urgh. What a day.
Jake and I broke up, and went back together, then broke up again.
I have no idea what I am doing. At all. It started on Wednesday morning, I saw him talking to this girl, and she kept rubbing his arm. From what I saw, it look like he was enjoying it, I could be wrong, because I didn't stay there to see it all. I was heading to his house at the time, because we both take the city bus with Joseph, so yeah, something told me to leave the house a little earlier. Then we get back together that same day, because I believed him for saying that he was trying his best to get away from that girl, and I know he wouldn't hurt me ... I think, unless my brain is clouded from this 'puppy love', I guess you can say. Today, I got stressed out from all the girls calling at his house, and asking me, if I can ask him if he could be their date for homecoming. Okay, I thought the news was out that I was already dating Jake? Unless Joseph was just saying that to me. *eye twitches* So, I got stressed out, not only from that, but from school, and my family. I've been crying a lot lately, more then usual. I can't concentrate when I'm doing my homework, and I get frustrated at the most dumbest things ever. My mom is putting all this shit on me, that she should be trying to get rid of herself, I even said this to here, and I quote again "You know mom. I could careless about all this fucking shit that's involing around you. But I do hope you know that I'm counting down to my 18th birthday, because I sure as hell don't wanna live with you anymore!" then I shut the door on her face. This isn't me! I have no idea what's going on. Could someone help me? I don't want some stupid "I'm sorry this is happening, but just try and make the best of it" I need advice, not your pity. Now, back to Jake, I wanna get back with him. It's just, I don't think I can handle a boyfriend, with all the problems I have right now. I'm losing friends, very fast. Joseph will be my only friend left, just how it was before. EVEN THIS FUCKING HOUSE HATES ME! My mother closed the door to my room, because she said my music was too loud, and it's scarying Snowflake, so when I went to get something to drink, it was dark in the hallway, and I'm not used to having my door closed, and I crashed into it, and I swear that from the impact, I triggered something in my brain, because my head hurts as hell. I can't afford to go to the hospital. There's an Airshow tomorrow, and I need to show my Canadian pride when I attend it. Jake keeps telling me this stuff how he'll try his best to help me out with my problems, but it's not like I'll recover in 1 minute. He's called me 5 times already, I picked it up the first time, because I was waiting for Joseph to call me up on my cell, and it was Jake, so I was stuck talking to him. Then my cousin called me up, I didn't feel like talking to her, and there was some dust storm, or whatever it was, so I went outside, hoping I would lose reception on my mobile, and it didn't work. I got myself very dirty though, and my mom thought there was a tornado. x_X Yeah right. I know when a tornado starts brewing, and there was no way that storm made it seem like a tornado. I'll stop blabbing now and figure out what Jake is trying to tell me. I'm so tired, and I have to get up early tomorrow. *cries*
I have no idea what I am doing. At all. It started on Wednesday morning, I saw him talking to this girl, and she kept rubbing his arm. From what I saw, it look like he was enjoying it, I could be wrong, because I didn't stay there to see it all. I was heading to his house at the time, because we both take the city bus with Joseph, so yeah, something told me to leave the house a little earlier. Then we get back together that same day, because I believed him for saying that he was trying his best to get away from that girl, and I know he wouldn't hurt me ... I think, unless my brain is clouded from this 'puppy love', I guess you can say. Today, I got stressed out from all the girls calling at his house, and asking me, if I can ask him if he could be their date for homecoming. Okay, I thought the news was out that I was already dating Jake? Unless Joseph was just saying that to me. *eye twitches* So, I got stressed out, not only from that, but from school, and my family. I've been crying a lot lately, more then usual. I can't concentrate when I'm doing my homework, and I get frustrated at the most dumbest things ever. My mom is putting all this shit on me, that she should be trying to get rid of herself, I even said this to here, and I quote again "You know mom. I could careless about all this fucking shit that's involing around you. But I do hope you know that I'm counting down to my 18th birthday, because I sure as hell don't wanna live with you anymore!" then I shut the door on her face. This isn't me! I have no idea what's going on. Could someone help me? I don't want some stupid "I'm sorry this is happening, but just try and make the best of it" I need advice, not your pity. Now, back to Jake, I wanna get back with him. It's just, I don't think I can handle a boyfriend, with all the problems I have right now. I'm losing friends, very fast. Joseph will be my only friend left, just how it was before. EVEN THIS FUCKING HOUSE HATES ME! My mother closed the door to my room, because she said my music was too loud, and it's scarying Snowflake, so when I went to get something to drink, it was dark in the hallway, and I'm not used to having my door closed, and I crashed into it, and I swear that from the impact, I triggered something in my brain, because my head hurts as hell. I can't afford to go to the hospital. There's an Airshow tomorrow, and I need to show my Canadian pride when I attend it. Jake keeps telling me this stuff how he'll try his best to help me out with my problems, but it's not like I'll recover in 1 minute. He's called me 5 times already, I picked it up the first time, because I was waiting for Joseph to call me up on my cell, and it was Jake, so I was stuck talking to him. Then my cousin called me up, I didn't feel like talking to her, and there was some dust storm, or whatever it was, so I went outside, hoping I would lose reception on my mobile, and it didn't work. I got myself very dirty though, and my mom thought there was a tornado. x_X Yeah right. I know when a tornado starts brewing, and there was no way that storm made it seem like a tornado. I'll stop blabbing now and figure out what Jake is trying to tell me. I'm so tired, and I have to get up early tomorrow. *cries*