All She Wishes For
Title: All She Wishes For
Fandom/Pairing: Gossip Girl - Blair(/Chuck)
Summary/Prompt: 11.11/Make A Wish
Rating/Word Count: PG/899 words
A/N: Written for the burnthe_city challenge
Blow out your candles Blair Bear, make a wish. Every year, when Harold Waldorf whispered those nine little words into his daughter’s ear as she grew another year older, she always made the same wish; I never want to be alone.
Growing up, little Blair Waldorf had never been alone. Pampered and doted on by her father, her mother, her Dorota. If she wanted attention and love, all it took was to go running into the kitchen to her find the Polish housekeeper; or the study where her father would be typing away at his computer.
She was showered with gifts and vacations and the best of everything that money could buy.
Then she started to grow up, and she started to notice the little flaws in her perfect world. Her mother started spending more time away from the house, always busy with meetings, or the next season’s line or an upcoming show.
She started missing family dinners and outing.
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Then her father suddenly moved out, moving away from the excitement of New York City and his daughter to the relaxed countryside of France; to start a winery and a new life with the man that he loved.
So Blair turned to her friends. At fifteen years old, she knew that she could count on her Serena, her Natie, and even her Chuck when he wasn’t being a conceited Bass; her friends, who were always there for Blair, who would do anything to make her smile and laugh and show her that she wasn’t alone.
They were there to help her celebrate her birthdays, to celebrate an A in an exam. They became her life support when it started to feel like the expectations from her mother to have a perfect daughter would eventually crush her.
Serena was there, next to Blair on the bathroom floor while she wiped away the tear stains on her cheeks when everything felt too much.
They were there to make her feel loved and needed and wanted.
Not everyone can be trusted though, and the people who you thought would always be there for you, no matter what would eventually desert you.
At the time, no one would explain why; but her Serena disappeared, in the shadow of the night. A phone call to the Van der Woodsen home informed her that her best friend had moved to Connecticut for school, no one knew when she’d be coming back to Manhattan.
Her Natie, her true love, distanced himself from her. And even though physically he hadn’t left her; she could see him pulling away. He would smile, vacantly, and kiss her but he wouldn’t be there.
She put so much work into that relationship, to pull him back to her; knowing that she wouldn’t be able to handle Nate leaving her as well.
She ignored Chuck with his cocky attitude and smug smirk, the glint in his eye revealing he knew more than anyone would ever guess. He would side up to Blair when Nate went off by himself, drawling out lewd remarks in her ear, causing her to slap him away in disgust.
She started to make more wishes. Blair Waldorf had never been a superstitious girl, had never believed in something as fate or destiny. If you wanted something, you went out and got that something.
She had never been superstitious but she started to wish on eleven eleven; falling victim to the internet stories of miracles. I never want to be alone again.
Only she was never more alone than when Serena arrived back in the city just as suddenly, and just as mysteriously as she’d left. The revelation that her Serena and Nate, the two she was meant to always be able to count on, had betrayed her in the worst possible way, destroying her more than she would ever admit to anyone.
She had lost Nate long before she had realized, and she had lost Serena the second she had fled the state.
She wasn’t meant to find what she was looking for in Chuck Bass of all people. She couldn’t picture a long-term relationship with him; his future played out a lot like his present. Women, booze, women, money.
He wasn’t meant to make her feel something she’d never felt before; she wasn’t meant to lose everything to him in the backseat of limo as it cruised through the Manhattan night.
Chuck Bass made Blair feel wanted again, he needed her as much as she needed him. She wasn’t alone when she was with Chuck.
She would never be alone when it was Blair and Chuck.
Lying on Chuck’s bed, the same one she spent nearly every night in curled up against him; she tried to tell herself that Chuck had been caught up with something, unable to reach a phone to let her know he was trying.
He had promised her, for her nineteenth birthday, that he was going to surprise her and that she should get dressed up. She had spent all morning making sure that she looked perfect, and then she had relaxed; waiting patiently.
She glanced at the clock on her cell phone. Eleven ten. She made sure she had no missed messages or calls. Eleven eleven.
It had been almost four years since she’d been forced to rely on superstition. People made their own miracles happen.
I don’t want to be alone.