FIC: HEALING ALL WOUNDS 1/4
Title: Healing All Wounds
Chapter: 1/4
Author: carolinablu85. or you can call me Ella! (or you can call me Al, if you like the song...)
Characters: Luke/Noah, Holden, Lily
Rating: PG
Spoilers: the evil "twin" kidnapping storyline!
Summary: Luke and Noah deal with the aftermath of the kidnapping when Noah is released from the hospital.
Disclaimer: I disclaim. I own a pair of sneakers, a cellphone, and some other stuff. The show? Nope, not that.
Author's Note: This is the very FIRST Nuke story I ever wrote! And reading it back now, I can definitely tell ;) Either way, enjoy!
Holden opened the door first, cautiously ducking his head into the living room. “Faith? Nat? Anyone home?” When no one answered, he swung the door open fully, going in. “Okay, looks like Mama already took them and Ethan to the farm. Coast is clear.” He spoke to the three people behind him. Luke and Lily came through the doorway, leading Noah in.
“Good,” Luke sighed in relief, his arm wrapped firmly around Noah’s waist.
“You didn’t have to kick them out, I feel bad,” Noah protested quietly, his uninjured arm slung around Luke’s shoulders.
“Oh sweetie, it’s fine,” Lily assured him, steadying him with a hand on his back. “They’ll love spending the weekend at the farm. And you need all the peace and quiet you can get for the next few days.”
“But I’m fine,” he mumbled, his eyes involuntarily squinting with discomfort as Luke and Lily helped him take his jacket off. He kept his left arm as still as possible, fought against holding with his other hand.
Luke shook his head, smiling. “No, you’re not,” he mock-scolded. He put his arm back around his boyfriend, trying to make it look more like a hug than physical support. “You’re in pain. And you’d be in a lot more if the doctor hadn’t shot you up full of drugs right before we left.”
“They were just being cautious, I’m fine,” Noah maintained, though Luke could feel him leaning into his embrace a little more.
Lily smiled fondly, patting his good shoulder and moving with Holden towards the kitchen. “We’ll get some lunch started. Are you hungry, Noah? I can make you some soup and toast, if you’re up for it.”
“That sounds great, Lily, thank you.” He smiled at her bashfully, and Luke stared at him, suddenly having to fight back the wave of emotions that had been threatening to overwhelm him since they had first gotten to the hospital. The entire kidnapping, Noah getting shot and burning up with fever, fading in and out of consciousness, Zoe going completely insane, Zac waving that gun around…
Luke was still so relieved that everything had worked out in the end, that he hadn’t lost Noah (or himself). He briefly tightened his grip on Noah’s waist, hugging him close and kissing his cheek, before letting go completely to take his own jacket off and hang it up.
Luke turned back to Noah just in time to see him stumble slightly as he made his way to the couch. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy,” Luke cautioned, hurrying over and steadying his boyfriend. “You okay?”
Noah nodded, eyes closing of their own accord. “Just dizzy,” he admitted, allowing Luke to brace him and guide him to the couch.
“The doctor said you’d be a little out of it from the painkillers they gave you,” Luke reminded him. “Do you want to go lie down, or-?”
“No,” Noah responded quickly. “No, I’ve been lying down for three days. I want to stay where I can… move around,” he shrugged one shoulder awkwardly.
“Hey, I get it,” Luke grinned. “When I finally got out of that wheelchair I didn’t want to sit again for a month.” Somehow one of his hands that had been holding Noah up was now rubbing up and down his back slowly.
Noah chuckled. “Yeah, I’m kind of sick of being stuck in one place for days on end.” He was smiling when he said it, but for a second Luke felt like he’d been punched in the chest. It dawned on him then- Noah hadn’t slept in a real bed, hadn’t eaten real food, hadn’t watched his old movies, in a week. Three days in the hospital, and the three or four days before that stuck with Zac and Zoe (or whoever), chained to a post… “Luke?” Noah’s voice was hesitant, concerned.
Luke realized he must have tightened his grip on Noah. He loosened his hold quickly. “Sorry,” he shook his head, trying to get rid of the frown that had appeared on his face.
“Hey,” Noah said gently, his hand coming up to the side of Luke’s face. Luke could help but lean into the touch, tilting his head towards it. Noah softened, his eyes cloudy but knowing. “It’s over, alright? It’s okay. I’m okay.”
Luke was reminded of the last time they were at the hospital. Hadn’t he said the same thing to Noah when Damian had been stabbed? It’s okay, I’m okay. Well, he wasn’t okay now. He shook his head again. “You almost died, Noah.” He could hear the tears in his voice, even if he couldn’t feel them on his face.
“But I didn’t,” Noah cut in determinedly, taking a hurried step closer to Luke. Suddenly he swayed again, and both he and Luke held on tighter to each other. “I- I can’t… can we sit down?” he asked unsteadily, eyes closing.
“Yeah, yeah, come here,” Luke instantly forgot his own turmoil, gently pulling Noah down to the cushions, arranging the pillows around him, careful of his left arm. He sat down on Noah’s right side, watching as Noah leaned back with a tired sigh taking tight and controlled breaths. Luke regarded him sadly, laying a comforting hand on Noah’s chest. “How is this ‘okay?’” he questioned, tapping his fingers.
“The good guys got away, the bad guys got caught. Nobody died,” Noah murmured.
“This isn’t a movie, Noah!” Luke was exasperated, caught up in his emotions again.
“It’s also not your fault, Luke,” Noah shot back calmly, finally opening his eyes, focusing them blearily on his boyfriend. The shocked but guilty look that passed across Luke’s face seemed to confirm Noah’s suspicion. He waited, knowing Luke needed to talk about something. And when Luke needed to talk, it was only a matter of time before he actually did, whether you wanted him to or not. Noah forced himself not to smile at that.
Luke was quiet for a few moments, looking down, while Noah focused on him with all of his tired might. “I should have known,” Luke finally confessed quietly. His hand stayed on Noah’s chest, fingers now playing with one of the buttons of his shirt.
“Known what?” Noah prodded, confused.
“When you called. When they made you call me. I was… I was mad at you,” he said incredulously. “How did I not see something was wrong?”
“Maybe I’m just a really convincing actor?” Noah half-smiled, trying to lighten the mood.
Luke wouldn’t- couldn’t- play along. “The things I said to you… You can’t pretend I didn’t hurt you.” He finally looked straight into Noah’s gaze.
Noah didn’t look away, letting his blue eyes do the talking where his words couldn’t seem to convince Luke. Yes, Luke had hurt him, but Noah obviously wasn’t blaming him. “You were upset when you said that stuff, you weren’t thinking clearly-”
“That’s just it, Noah! I wasn’t thinking about you, I was caught up in my own drama! You were being held at gunpoint, and all I did was yell at my boyfriend for ditching me.”
It was Noah’s turn to break eye contact, look down at his hands. “It’s not like I haven’t given you reason to-”
“No.” Luke lifted his head back up, holding his gaze, and his chin, determinedly. “That’s so far in the past it’s ridiculous. You’re not a quitter, you don’t just up and leave people behind. I don’t think you’re weak or unavailable or selfish. That’s not you anymore- or me- and I know that. You should know that.”
“And you should know that what happened wasn’t your fault. You can’t blame yourself for feeling what you were supposed to feel then.” Noah covered Luke’s hand with his own, squeezing it reassuringly.
“What I was ‘supposed’ to feel? You skipped work and classes and everything without telling anyone, and I should have been suspicious of that, worried. Instead I didn’t see anything wrong with it beyond how it affected me. My grandmother was right, I am a spoiled brat.” Luke laughed without any humor.
“Hey,” Noah put as much force into his voice as he could, even as on the inside he began fighting off the pull of the painkillers in his body. “It was Zac and Zoe, okay? They did this. They played you.”
Luke wasn’t so ready to let go. “And I let them! I let my problems with Damian get in the way of… of you.” He shook his head. “You almost died, Noah. I had to sit there next to you when you were delirious and in pain, not able to touch you. And every time you passed out I had to hope to God you’d wake up again, that…” he shook his head again, stalling until he got himself back in control. Noah stayed quiet, watching him sadly. “That every time you were awake wouldn’t be that last time I’d ever talk to you.” He choked on his breath, hands shaking as they touched Noah. “I’m so sorry.”
Noah pushed himself up painfully, leaning over to Luke and kissing him firmly. Full of love and absolution. “Okay, I forgive you. Please, don’t be upset anymore. Please?”
Luke smiled into the kiss, letting out a little laugh. When they both drew back he helped Noah settle into the cushions again. He ran his hand through Noah’s messy hair, letting the slight curls sift through his fingers. “I can’t tell you how much I love you,” he said quietly.
“Yes you can,” Noah said just as softly, insisting. “You do. All the time.” He shifted forward a little, and Luke immediately lifted his arm so Noah could lean more into him, dropping it gently around Noah’s shoulders. They sat like that for some time, resting against each other. Luke pushed away the slight flashback of being tied back-to-back against Noah, resting on each other then. No, they were safe now. They were okay.
Noah shook his head a little as though to clear it, and Luke could feel him relaxing more heavily against him. “You alright?” He asked, turning to get a better look at his boyfriend.
“Yeah,” came the answer in a sigh. “I just feel… heavy…?” Noah’s voice sounded rougher, the words drawing out slower. His eyelids were stuck at half-mast, and he was sinking deeper and deeper into Luke’s arms.
Luke couldn’t help but smile again. “Yeah, the drugs will do that to you,” he softened his own voice, leaning his head to the side to touch Noah’s. “You want to skip lunch, get some sleep instead?” He kept his arm across Noah’s shoulders and moved his right hand to Noah’s torso, about to help him up and get him to bed.
“No,” Noah was quick to respond, grabbing Luke’s hand and keeping it against his body. “No, I want to stay here, okay?” As if to prove his point, he wrapped both hands around Luke’s and leaned back even further, keeping them both in place on the couch.
“Sounds great,” Luke said, almost soothing. He squeezed Noah’s hands reassuringly, his other hand running along Noah’s face and hair. “I love this couch,” he added pleasantly.
Noah paused, then chuckled shyly. “I’m being stupid, aren’t I?”
“No, no, baby,” Luke lightly kissed Noah’s cheek. “Your week sucked, okay? You’ve been through enough. We’re doing whatever you want.”
“You don’t have to make a fuss over me,” Noah mumbled, turning his head so it rested against Luke’s shoulder and chest. One of his hands began idly playing with an errant string at the cuff of Luke’s sleeve.
He couldn’t help but laugh. “Not have to. Want to.” Another kiss. “Don’t worry, just relax for awhile.”
Noah complied almost instantly and burrowed himself into Luke’s embrace, barely wincing when the movement pulled at his wound and bandage. The drugs were really kicking in now. “Not a problem,” he replied, words coming out a little slurred and faint.
Luke rested his chin on top of Noah’s head. “Lunch can wait, get some sleep,” he whispered. Noah was out before he had even finished the sentence. Luke was still half-reclined against the arm of the couch, arms wrapped around his boyfriend. It was an awkward position for his body, should have been uncomfortable, but Luke had never felt more content in his life.
The drugs worked wonders, and Noah slept completely through lunch and some of the afternoon. When he awoke, he and Luke stayed wrapped up in blankets and each other on the couch, watching movies (including- finally- the new “Batman”). After that, Noah felt strong enough to get up and join the Snyders for dinner.
It was thankfully- blissfully- quiet and low-key. Lily had subtly made sure that everything on the table was within reach of Noah’s right arm, and she and Holden kept up a steady, casual chatter about work and the kids and the state of the Cubs’ season so far. Luke joined in occasionally, but for the most part he was content to listen while he kept a not-so-secretive eye on Noah.
He ignored the half-hearted, half-joking glares Noah sent his way every time he checked to make sure he was eating and taking his meds at the right time (antibiotics every four hours, painkillers every six). Luke didn’t care, he’d earned the right to be a little overprotective. Noah must have understood, because he put up with Luke’s fussing as much as he could.
Mostly. “When did you get so bossy?” he muttered as Luke whisked away his plate and bowl after ordering Noah to stay seated at the table and take his pills.
“Since someone put a bullet in your arm. So shut up,” Luke shot back very cheerfully. Noah really wanted to help with the clean-up after dinner, even stood up and tried to, but Lily and Holden wouldn’t hear of it. They directed him to go back and relax on the couch, and of course Noah obeyed. Though Luke could hear him mumbling something about all Snyders being bossy as they left him in the family room.
Luke watched for a moment, smiling fondly, before turning and following his parents into the kitchen. “Thanks, Mom, for the dinner. And for letting him stay here.”
Lily smiled warmly. “Of course, sweetie. We’re not going to let our boy recover from a gun shot wound all alone in some loud, dirty residence hall!” Luke couldn’t help but grin. Our boy. It always pleased him, so much, that Noah was considered a part of the family. He knew Noah loved it too. “Besides,” his mom continued, “I’d like to keep an eye on him- and you- for my own sake. Something tells me if Noah was staying in the dorms, we wouldn’t be seeing a lot of you this week.”
Luke had the good grace to blush, especially since it was true. “Yeah, well, I like to keep an eye on my boyfriend too,” he explained unnecessarily. He turned to go after said boyfriend when Holden stopped him.
“Luke, there’s something we need to discuss with you,” he said quietly, much more serious.
Luke sobered. This didn’t sound good. “What is it?” If they thought he and Noah were going to stay in separate rooms tonight… no friggin’ way.
“Margo is going to be coming by tonight to get your official statement- yours and Noah’s. We thought you’d feel more comfortable doing it here instead of at the police station,” Lily spoke gently.
“T-tonight?” Luke stuttered. A flash of fear and tension hit Luke, radiating from the pit of his stomach outward. There were some things he just didn’t want to talk about. And Noah… “Noah just took another round of meds. I don’t know if he’s up for that, maybe we should-”
“Luke,” Holden’s voice was calm, steadying. “It’s been three days. I think- we think- you both need to talk about what happened.” He looked Luke straight in the eye. “You can’t keep putting this off, son.”
Luke was silent, trying to rack his brain and come up with any excuse not to do this, but none came. He deflated with a sigh. “Alright. Let me talk to Noah about it.”
Holden smiled encouragingly, a hand on Luke’s shoulder. “Okay. We’ll be in here if you need us. Margo should be here sometime within the next hour.”
Hour? Luke took a deep breath, nodded, and went out to join Noah on the couch. His eyes were closed, but the second Luke settled down next to him they opened, and Noah gave him a lazy, sleepy smile that Luke couldn’t help but return. He was probably going to Hell for thinking this (and Noah would absolutely kill him if he knew Luke was thinking this), but there was something adorable and downright sexy about a slightly-stoned Noah.
He had discovered this the first day in the hospital, how much more relaxed and open Noah’s face became. How he was a little more playful, less internal. It gave Luke a glimpse at the little boy Noah might have been if he hadn’t been raised by the Colonel, and of the man he was becoming thanks to his relationships with the Snyders, with Luke. Luke loved it so much.
“Hey love,” Luke said softly, still smiling. He took Noah’s right hand in his, playing idly with his long and tapered fingers.
“Hey yourself,” Noah answered, his voice a little deeper with that just-about-to-fall-asleep tone to it. He pulled his hand close, gave Luke’s a soft kiss before dropping it back down.
“You tired?” Luke asked, wondering then if maybe now really wasn’t the best time to do their statements.
“No, no, I’m fine,” his boyfriend assured him. “Drugs just make me… fuzzy.” He frowned at the word, the best he could come up with.
Luke chuckled, carefully putting his arm around him. “That’s why we just say no.”
“I wish,” Noah sighed, laying his head on Luke’s shoulder.
After a few minutes of just sitting and being able to touch each other (something both of them silently swore they’d never take for granted again), Luke took a deep breath. It was now or never. “Hey Noah?”
“Yeah?” Noah’s hand was on Luke’s knee, fingers tracing a rip in his jeans.
“Do you think you’re ready to tell the cops what happened?”
The hand on his knee stilled. “Why?”
“Margo’s coming here tonight, to get our official statements. This way we won’t have to go to the station, it’ll just be us and Margo.” Another casual chuckle. “And probably my parents.” Noah didn’t say anything, but his hand went back to tracing the tear in the denim. Luke watched as Noah bit his lower lip, thinking hard. “Hey,” Luke lifted his hand from Noah’s shoulders and skimmed it through his dark hair, bringing Noah’s attention up to him. “If you don’t want to, we don’t have to. It’s okay. We can wait-”
“No, it’s okay,” Noah shook his head, determined. “We might as well get it over with, right?” He looked up at Luke as if for confirmation.
“Right,” he agreed, eyes searching Noah’s face for any sign of trouble.
Noah’s frown deepened, sensing Luke’s hesitation. “Your statement too? Are you going to be okay?”
He couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll be fine. Not exactly looking forward to my parents hearing what actually happened, or almost actually happened, with Zoe, but…” And then Noah was very still and very quiet again. “Noah? What is it?”
“Luke,” he began, tentative and soft. “Will you promise me something?”
“Anything,” he responded automatically. His hand unconsciously came up to comb through Noah’s hair once more.
Noah worried his bottom lip between his teeth again, gathering himself. “When… when I give my statement… what you hear… please, don’t be mad at me?”
Please, don’t be mad at me. Luke had another semi-flashback. Noah had said that in the phone call, when Luke had accused him, snapped at him, for running away. No, Luke reminded himself. It wasn’t my fault. Zac and Zoe, Zac and Zoe. “Why would I get mad at you?”
“Just… when I tell what happened, don’t get upset with-”
“Noah, I promise. You won’t even let me be mad at me, how am I supposed to be mad at you?” Noah still looked uncertain, worried even, but was interrupted from answering by a knock at the door. Luke took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Here we go.”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
TO BE CONTINUED! Coming Up: Luke and Noah give their statements. Luke reacts badly when Noah tells his story.
Chapter: 1/4
Author: carolinablu85. or you can call me Ella! (or you can call me Al, if you like the song...)
Characters: Luke/Noah, Holden, Lily
Rating: PG
Spoilers: the evil "twin" kidnapping storyline!
Summary: Luke and Noah deal with the aftermath of the kidnapping when Noah is released from the hospital.
Disclaimer: I disclaim. I own a pair of sneakers, a cellphone, and some other stuff. The show? Nope, not that.
Author's Note: This is the very FIRST Nuke story I ever wrote! And reading it back now, I can definitely tell ;) Either way, enjoy!
Holden opened the door first, cautiously ducking his head into the living room. “Faith? Nat? Anyone home?” When no one answered, he swung the door open fully, going in. “Okay, looks like Mama already took them and Ethan to the farm. Coast is clear.” He spoke to the three people behind him. Luke and Lily came through the doorway, leading Noah in.
“Good,” Luke sighed in relief, his arm wrapped firmly around Noah’s waist.
“You didn’t have to kick them out, I feel bad,” Noah protested quietly, his uninjured arm slung around Luke’s shoulders.
“Oh sweetie, it’s fine,” Lily assured him, steadying him with a hand on his back. “They’ll love spending the weekend at the farm. And you need all the peace and quiet you can get for the next few days.”
“But I’m fine,” he mumbled, his eyes involuntarily squinting with discomfort as Luke and Lily helped him take his jacket off. He kept his left arm as still as possible, fought against holding with his other hand.
Luke shook his head, smiling. “No, you’re not,” he mock-scolded. He put his arm back around his boyfriend, trying to make it look more like a hug than physical support. “You’re in pain. And you’d be in a lot more if the doctor hadn’t shot you up full of drugs right before we left.”
“They were just being cautious, I’m fine,” Noah maintained, though Luke could feel him leaning into his embrace a little more.
Lily smiled fondly, patting his good shoulder and moving with Holden towards the kitchen. “We’ll get some lunch started. Are you hungry, Noah? I can make you some soup and toast, if you’re up for it.”
“That sounds great, Lily, thank you.” He smiled at her bashfully, and Luke stared at him, suddenly having to fight back the wave of emotions that had been threatening to overwhelm him since they had first gotten to the hospital. The entire kidnapping, Noah getting shot and burning up with fever, fading in and out of consciousness, Zoe going completely insane, Zac waving that gun around…
Luke was still so relieved that everything had worked out in the end, that he hadn’t lost Noah (or himself). He briefly tightened his grip on Noah’s waist, hugging him close and kissing his cheek, before letting go completely to take his own jacket off and hang it up.
Luke turned back to Noah just in time to see him stumble slightly as he made his way to the couch. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy,” Luke cautioned, hurrying over and steadying his boyfriend. “You okay?”
Noah nodded, eyes closing of their own accord. “Just dizzy,” he admitted, allowing Luke to brace him and guide him to the couch.
“The doctor said you’d be a little out of it from the painkillers they gave you,” Luke reminded him. “Do you want to go lie down, or-?”
“No,” Noah responded quickly. “No, I’ve been lying down for three days. I want to stay where I can… move around,” he shrugged one shoulder awkwardly.
“Hey, I get it,” Luke grinned. “When I finally got out of that wheelchair I didn’t want to sit again for a month.” Somehow one of his hands that had been holding Noah up was now rubbing up and down his back slowly.
Noah chuckled. “Yeah, I’m kind of sick of being stuck in one place for days on end.” He was smiling when he said it, but for a second Luke felt like he’d been punched in the chest. It dawned on him then- Noah hadn’t slept in a real bed, hadn’t eaten real food, hadn’t watched his old movies, in a week. Three days in the hospital, and the three or four days before that stuck with Zac and Zoe (or whoever), chained to a post… “Luke?” Noah’s voice was hesitant, concerned.
Luke realized he must have tightened his grip on Noah. He loosened his hold quickly. “Sorry,” he shook his head, trying to get rid of the frown that had appeared on his face.
“Hey,” Noah said gently, his hand coming up to the side of Luke’s face. Luke could help but lean into the touch, tilting his head towards it. Noah softened, his eyes cloudy but knowing. “It’s over, alright? It’s okay. I’m okay.”
Luke was reminded of the last time they were at the hospital. Hadn’t he said the same thing to Noah when Damian had been stabbed? It’s okay, I’m okay. Well, he wasn’t okay now. He shook his head again. “You almost died, Noah.” He could hear the tears in his voice, even if he couldn’t feel them on his face.
“But I didn’t,” Noah cut in determinedly, taking a hurried step closer to Luke. Suddenly he swayed again, and both he and Luke held on tighter to each other. “I- I can’t… can we sit down?” he asked unsteadily, eyes closing.
“Yeah, yeah, come here,” Luke instantly forgot his own turmoil, gently pulling Noah down to the cushions, arranging the pillows around him, careful of his left arm. He sat down on Noah’s right side, watching as Noah leaned back with a tired sigh taking tight and controlled breaths. Luke regarded him sadly, laying a comforting hand on Noah’s chest. “How is this ‘okay?’” he questioned, tapping his fingers.
“The good guys got away, the bad guys got caught. Nobody died,” Noah murmured.
“This isn’t a movie, Noah!” Luke was exasperated, caught up in his emotions again.
“It’s also not your fault, Luke,” Noah shot back calmly, finally opening his eyes, focusing them blearily on his boyfriend. The shocked but guilty look that passed across Luke’s face seemed to confirm Noah’s suspicion. He waited, knowing Luke needed to talk about something. And when Luke needed to talk, it was only a matter of time before he actually did, whether you wanted him to or not. Noah forced himself not to smile at that.
Luke was quiet for a few moments, looking down, while Noah focused on him with all of his tired might. “I should have known,” Luke finally confessed quietly. His hand stayed on Noah’s chest, fingers now playing with one of the buttons of his shirt.
“Known what?” Noah prodded, confused.
“When you called. When they made you call me. I was… I was mad at you,” he said incredulously. “How did I not see something was wrong?”
“Maybe I’m just a really convincing actor?” Noah half-smiled, trying to lighten the mood.
Luke wouldn’t- couldn’t- play along. “The things I said to you… You can’t pretend I didn’t hurt you.” He finally looked straight into Noah’s gaze.
Noah didn’t look away, letting his blue eyes do the talking where his words couldn’t seem to convince Luke. Yes, Luke had hurt him, but Noah obviously wasn’t blaming him. “You were upset when you said that stuff, you weren’t thinking clearly-”
“That’s just it, Noah! I wasn’t thinking about you, I was caught up in my own drama! You were being held at gunpoint, and all I did was yell at my boyfriend for ditching me.”
It was Noah’s turn to break eye contact, look down at his hands. “It’s not like I haven’t given you reason to-”
“No.” Luke lifted his head back up, holding his gaze, and his chin, determinedly. “That’s so far in the past it’s ridiculous. You’re not a quitter, you don’t just up and leave people behind. I don’t think you’re weak or unavailable or selfish. That’s not you anymore- or me- and I know that. You should know that.”
“And you should know that what happened wasn’t your fault. You can’t blame yourself for feeling what you were supposed to feel then.” Noah covered Luke’s hand with his own, squeezing it reassuringly.
“What I was ‘supposed’ to feel? You skipped work and classes and everything without telling anyone, and I should have been suspicious of that, worried. Instead I didn’t see anything wrong with it beyond how it affected me. My grandmother was right, I am a spoiled brat.” Luke laughed without any humor.
“Hey,” Noah put as much force into his voice as he could, even as on the inside he began fighting off the pull of the painkillers in his body. “It was Zac and Zoe, okay? They did this. They played you.”
Luke wasn’t so ready to let go. “And I let them! I let my problems with Damian get in the way of… of you.” He shook his head. “You almost died, Noah. I had to sit there next to you when you were delirious and in pain, not able to touch you. And every time you passed out I had to hope to God you’d wake up again, that…” he shook his head again, stalling until he got himself back in control. Noah stayed quiet, watching him sadly. “That every time you were awake wouldn’t be that last time I’d ever talk to you.” He choked on his breath, hands shaking as they touched Noah. “I’m so sorry.”
Noah pushed himself up painfully, leaning over to Luke and kissing him firmly. Full of love and absolution. “Okay, I forgive you. Please, don’t be upset anymore. Please?”
Luke smiled into the kiss, letting out a little laugh. When they both drew back he helped Noah settle into the cushions again. He ran his hand through Noah’s messy hair, letting the slight curls sift through his fingers. “I can’t tell you how much I love you,” he said quietly.
“Yes you can,” Noah said just as softly, insisting. “You do. All the time.” He shifted forward a little, and Luke immediately lifted his arm so Noah could lean more into him, dropping it gently around Noah’s shoulders. They sat like that for some time, resting against each other. Luke pushed away the slight flashback of being tied back-to-back against Noah, resting on each other then. No, they were safe now. They were okay.
Noah shook his head a little as though to clear it, and Luke could feel him relaxing more heavily against him. “You alright?” He asked, turning to get a better look at his boyfriend.
“Yeah,” came the answer in a sigh. “I just feel… heavy…?” Noah’s voice sounded rougher, the words drawing out slower. His eyelids were stuck at half-mast, and he was sinking deeper and deeper into Luke’s arms.
Luke couldn’t help but smile again. “Yeah, the drugs will do that to you,” he softened his own voice, leaning his head to the side to touch Noah’s. “You want to skip lunch, get some sleep instead?” He kept his arm across Noah’s shoulders and moved his right hand to Noah’s torso, about to help him up and get him to bed.
“No,” Noah was quick to respond, grabbing Luke’s hand and keeping it against his body. “No, I want to stay here, okay?” As if to prove his point, he wrapped both hands around Luke’s and leaned back even further, keeping them both in place on the couch.
“Sounds great,” Luke said, almost soothing. He squeezed Noah’s hands reassuringly, his other hand running along Noah’s face and hair. “I love this couch,” he added pleasantly.
Noah paused, then chuckled shyly. “I’m being stupid, aren’t I?”
“No, no, baby,” Luke lightly kissed Noah’s cheek. “Your week sucked, okay? You’ve been through enough. We’re doing whatever you want.”
“You don’t have to make a fuss over me,” Noah mumbled, turning his head so it rested against Luke’s shoulder and chest. One of his hands began idly playing with an errant string at the cuff of Luke’s sleeve.
He couldn’t help but laugh. “Not have to. Want to.” Another kiss. “Don’t worry, just relax for awhile.”
Noah complied almost instantly and burrowed himself into Luke’s embrace, barely wincing when the movement pulled at his wound and bandage. The drugs were really kicking in now. “Not a problem,” he replied, words coming out a little slurred and faint.
Luke rested his chin on top of Noah’s head. “Lunch can wait, get some sleep,” he whispered. Noah was out before he had even finished the sentence. Luke was still half-reclined against the arm of the couch, arms wrapped around his boyfriend. It was an awkward position for his body, should have been uncomfortable, but Luke had never felt more content in his life.
The drugs worked wonders, and Noah slept completely through lunch and some of the afternoon. When he awoke, he and Luke stayed wrapped up in blankets and each other on the couch, watching movies (including- finally- the new “Batman”). After that, Noah felt strong enough to get up and join the Snyders for dinner.
It was thankfully- blissfully- quiet and low-key. Lily had subtly made sure that everything on the table was within reach of Noah’s right arm, and she and Holden kept up a steady, casual chatter about work and the kids and the state of the Cubs’ season so far. Luke joined in occasionally, but for the most part he was content to listen while he kept a not-so-secretive eye on Noah.
He ignored the half-hearted, half-joking glares Noah sent his way every time he checked to make sure he was eating and taking his meds at the right time (antibiotics every four hours, painkillers every six). Luke didn’t care, he’d earned the right to be a little overprotective. Noah must have understood, because he put up with Luke’s fussing as much as he could.
Mostly. “When did you get so bossy?” he muttered as Luke whisked away his plate and bowl after ordering Noah to stay seated at the table and take his pills.
“Since someone put a bullet in your arm. So shut up,” Luke shot back very cheerfully. Noah really wanted to help with the clean-up after dinner, even stood up and tried to, but Lily and Holden wouldn’t hear of it. They directed him to go back and relax on the couch, and of course Noah obeyed. Though Luke could hear him mumbling something about all Snyders being bossy as they left him in the family room.
Luke watched for a moment, smiling fondly, before turning and following his parents into the kitchen. “Thanks, Mom, for the dinner. And for letting him stay here.”
Lily smiled warmly. “Of course, sweetie. We’re not going to let our boy recover from a gun shot wound all alone in some loud, dirty residence hall!” Luke couldn’t help but grin. Our boy. It always pleased him, so much, that Noah was considered a part of the family. He knew Noah loved it too. “Besides,” his mom continued, “I’d like to keep an eye on him- and you- for my own sake. Something tells me if Noah was staying in the dorms, we wouldn’t be seeing a lot of you this week.”
Luke had the good grace to blush, especially since it was true. “Yeah, well, I like to keep an eye on my boyfriend too,” he explained unnecessarily. He turned to go after said boyfriend when Holden stopped him.
“Luke, there’s something we need to discuss with you,” he said quietly, much more serious.
Luke sobered. This didn’t sound good. “What is it?” If they thought he and Noah were going to stay in separate rooms tonight… no friggin’ way.
“Margo is going to be coming by tonight to get your official statement- yours and Noah’s. We thought you’d feel more comfortable doing it here instead of at the police station,” Lily spoke gently.
“T-tonight?” Luke stuttered. A flash of fear and tension hit Luke, radiating from the pit of his stomach outward. There were some things he just didn’t want to talk about. And Noah… “Noah just took another round of meds. I don’t know if he’s up for that, maybe we should-”
“Luke,” Holden’s voice was calm, steadying. “It’s been three days. I think- we think- you both need to talk about what happened.” He looked Luke straight in the eye. “You can’t keep putting this off, son.”
Luke was silent, trying to rack his brain and come up with any excuse not to do this, but none came. He deflated with a sigh. “Alright. Let me talk to Noah about it.”
Holden smiled encouragingly, a hand on Luke’s shoulder. “Okay. We’ll be in here if you need us. Margo should be here sometime within the next hour.”
Hour? Luke took a deep breath, nodded, and went out to join Noah on the couch. His eyes were closed, but the second Luke settled down next to him they opened, and Noah gave him a lazy, sleepy smile that Luke couldn’t help but return. He was probably going to Hell for thinking this (and Noah would absolutely kill him if he knew Luke was thinking this), but there was something adorable and downright sexy about a slightly-stoned Noah.
He had discovered this the first day in the hospital, how much more relaxed and open Noah’s face became. How he was a little more playful, less internal. It gave Luke a glimpse at the little boy Noah might have been if he hadn’t been raised by the Colonel, and of the man he was becoming thanks to his relationships with the Snyders, with Luke. Luke loved it so much.
“Hey love,” Luke said softly, still smiling. He took Noah’s right hand in his, playing idly with his long and tapered fingers.
“Hey yourself,” Noah answered, his voice a little deeper with that just-about-to-fall-asleep tone to it. He pulled his hand close, gave Luke’s a soft kiss before dropping it back down.
“You tired?” Luke asked, wondering then if maybe now really wasn’t the best time to do their statements.
“No, no, I’m fine,” his boyfriend assured him. “Drugs just make me… fuzzy.” He frowned at the word, the best he could come up with.
Luke chuckled, carefully putting his arm around him. “That’s why we just say no.”
“I wish,” Noah sighed, laying his head on Luke’s shoulder.
After a few minutes of just sitting and being able to touch each other (something both of them silently swore they’d never take for granted again), Luke took a deep breath. It was now or never. “Hey Noah?”
“Yeah?” Noah’s hand was on Luke’s knee, fingers tracing a rip in his jeans.
“Do you think you’re ready to tell the cops what happened?”
The hand on his knee stilled. “Why?”
“Margo’s coming here tonight, to get our official statements. This way we won’t have to go to the station, it’ll just be us and Margo.” Another casual chuckle. “And probably my parents.” Noah didn’t say anything, but his hand went back to tracing the tear in the denim. Luke watched as Noah bit his lower lip, thinking hard. “Hey,” Luke lifted his hand from Noah’s shoulders and skimmed it through his dark hair, bringing Noah’s attention up to him. “If you don’t want to, we don’t have to. It’s okay. We can wait-”
“No, it’s okay,” Noah shook his head, determined. “We might as well get it over with, right?” He looked up at Luke as if for confirmation.
“Right,” he agreed, eyes searching Noah’s face for any sign of trouble.
Noah’s frown deepened, sensing Luke’s hesitation. “Your statement too? Are you going to be okay?”
He couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll be fine. Not exactly looking forward to my parents hearing what actually happened, or almost actually happened, with Zoe, but…” And then Noah was very still and very quiet again. “Noah? What is it?”
“Luke,” he began, tentative and soft. “Will you promise me something?”
“Anything,” he responded automatically. His hand unconsciously came up to comb through Noah’s hair once more.
Noah worried his bottom lip between his teeth again, gathering himself. “When… when I give my statement… what you hear… please, don’t be mad at me?”
Please, don’t be mad at me. Luke had another semi-flashback. Noah had said that in the phone call, when Luke had accused him, snapped at him, for running away. No, Luke reminded himself. It wasn’t my fault. Zac and Zoe, Zac and Zoe. “Why would I get mad at you?”
“Just… when I tell what happened, don’t get upset with-”
“Noah, I promise. You won’t even let me be mad at me, how am I supposed to be mad at you?” Noah still looked uncertain, worried even, but was interrupted from answering by a knock at the door. Luke took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Here we go.”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
TO BE CONTINUED! Coming Up: Luke and Noah give their statements. Luke reacts badly when Noah tells his story.