FIC - There's A Calm Surrender (Prologue) -- Nuke BigBang 2012
Title: There's a Calm Surrender
Author: carolinablu85
Artist: frances_veritas ( HERE OMG)
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: I disclaim.
Pairing: Luke/Noah
Warnings: Characters deaths, Deviation from canon (story starts with canon from summer 2009), Angst, Multiple Flashbacks
Summary: When his dad is killed and he thinks it’s his fault, Luke runs away from his home and his family- and Noah. Years later, he reappears in a very changed Oakdale to right the wrongs he left behind.
PROLOGUE | ONE | TWO | THREE | FOUR | FIVE | EPILOGUE
The road seemed to stretch out endlessly in front of them. It was boring. Luke leaned his head against the truck window, closing his eyes, yawning. He stretched his legs out as far as they would go, his foot hitting the side of his duffel bag, and he had to smile.
---
“I hate packing,” he whines, shoving two more shirts into the bag.
Almost immediately, a pair of hands reach from behind him and pull the shirts out, refold them correctly, and place them neatly back inside. “That’s the real reason you tried to get out of the trip, isn’t it?”
“No,” he grumbles, turning around. His arms snake around Noah’s waist, pulling him close. He grins into Noah’s chest when Noah lets himself be pulled without a fight, his own arms going around Luke. “You’re kinda one too.”
“I can’t go anywhere,” he feels Noah’s smile against the top of his head. “It’s just a few days, and you know you’ll have fun. And I’ll be here... anxiously pining away for your return.”
“Sure.” He rolls his eyes and playfully bites at his chest through the Java shirt, smirking when Noah twitches at the feeling.
“Thanks,” Noah mock-scolds, kissing his cheek lightly before pulling back and going to their dresser. “Do you have everything you need?”
“I don’t know, will you fit in my suitcase?” Luke follows, grabbing him again. He hugs Noah tight to him from behind, loving- as always- the way Noah can’t help but fall silent and close his eyes, leaning back into Luke. “Wish you could come with us,” he presses a few kisses to the back of Noah’s neck.
“Can’t,” Noah murmurs. “Too much work to do.” Meaning Java, meaning school, meaning his film, meaning... Mason. Luke grimaces but keeps quiet about that part. No reason to turn a slightly annoying subject into a full-blown sore one between them. “Besides,” Noah leans back just a little more. “This should just be you and your dad.”
“You mean, to make up for the fact that I almost bailed on him to go on a trip with Damian instead?” Luke sighs dramatically as Noah turns around to face him, the sigh cutting off when Noah kisses him.
“Yes,” Noah answers honestly, gently. “I said before- Holden knows you love him and he’s your dad, but,” he half-smiles, scrunching up one side of his face as though that’ll help get the words out right. “I just... I think he’d like to hear it, and see it, you know?”
And part of him wants to sigh, the natural instinct whenever anyone ever lectures him, but he leans in instead, pushing his lips out a little in request for another kiss. Noah obliges, keeping their mouths pressed together until Luke has no choice but to smile into it. “I know.”
Noah knocks their foreheads together. “When is he picking you up?”
Luke brings his hand up from Noah’s lower back, checking his watch. “Um.... forty-five minutes.”
“Oh,” Noah slides his own hands lower and lower, latching onto Luke’s hips. “That’s a lot of time.” He playfully shoves Luke towards the bed. “That’s good.”
It really is.
---
The truck hitting a particularly deep pothole jerked Luke out of his thoughts. He smiled some more, already planning his welcome home party for the two of them.
“You’ve been quiet,” Holden commented idly.
“Sorry,” Luke turned, sheepish, rubbing at his face a little. “Tired.” He couldn’t exactly explain that he’d been daydreaming about sex with his boyfriend.
“You’re not... regretting coming on the trip, are you?” Holden ventured, glancing at him for a second before looking back to the road.
“What? No, Dad, come on.” It was a weird, almost scary, feeling when a parent showed vulnerability or insecurity like that. They were grownups; they were supposed to handle everything. His dad wasn’t supposed to be like this. Luke was, duh, but not his dad. “Not at all. I swear.”
Holden gave that easygoing smile. “I just don’t want you to feel obligated.”
“Dad, I promise, that’s not what this is.” He turned even more, leaning his back against the door. “And I’ll say it a billion times if you want: Damian is not my dad. Just because I’m working for him, it’s doesn’t... doesn’t mean that.”
"And I should know that, I know. It's just hard to be rational with that man around." Holden gripped the steering wheel tighter, and Luke pretended he didn't notice. "There's always something more going on, he always-"
The truck jerked abruptly under them, startling them both. At first Luke assumed it was another pothole, but the car kept skidding to the side. Across the road. "Dad?"
Holden was trying frantically to steer. "Luke, hang on to-"
The rest of his words were swallowed up in chaos.
***
He only had two hours left on his shift, and he was in that in-between frame of mind- part of him just wanted to go home and go to bed; the other part wanted to stay away from the bed that was painfully empty, stock up on caffeine and work on his film all night. And he was looking at three more nights of this. Three more until Luke came home.
It was going to be a long three nights.
He wiped down the counter slowly, mind wandering, going over script revisions, budgets, Luke, casting ideas, and Luke. It was almost enough to cause him to miss the tall figure standing just outside the coffeehouse, staring in at him. He jumped and stepped back instinctively- his dad had been hiding there just a few weeks ago- then relaxed when he recognized the blond hair.
"Damian?" he called out, which was stupid considering the man was outside.
Still, maybe he'd heard Noah, because he walked in slowly, almost reluctantly. Noah was about to offer him coffee when he looked, really looked, at Damian's face. "Noah..."
"What's wrong?" he asked immediately, coming around from behind the counter. This had 'Snyder Crisis' written all over it. "Faith? Or, did something happen to Lily?" With Luke away, he wanted to think of it as his job to help out with the family. Whatever had happened, he wanted to fix it. "Did Lucinda-"
"Noah," Damian tried again, this time a little less cracked. "Did Luke go with Holden to Kentucky? Definitely?"
He could already feel ice starting to grab at him, from his toes up, shaking his knees. He nodded. "Why? What happened?"
"You're sure?" Damian got closer, almost desperate. "There's no chance he backed out at the last second, went to-"
"I'm sure," Noah backed up enough to grab at one of the chairs for balance. "Why?"
He watched as Damian visibly braced himself, gathering resolve, and it just made him shake more. "Jack Snyder got a call from Kentucky State Police an hour ago."
The ice was squeezing his lungs now. "Police?"
Damian spoke almost gently, and it freaked Noah out as much as anything. “Holden’s truck. It went through a guardrail and over the side of a- a cliff. Something happened to the brakes, they think.”
They’re both dead. As always, his brain immediately went to the worst-case, and most logical, scenario. And then, just as quickly and just as predictably, he told himself no- it would be okay, everything was fine, nothing that bad could ever really happen. “How badly are they hurt?” He started making calculations in his head, plans for how quickly he could fly out to Kentucky, worrying if the hospital staff would even let him see Luke, if-
“Noah,” Damian approached him, and up closer Noah could see his skin was pale, gray, his eyes glassy. “The truck exploded. Probably on impact.”
“How badly are they hurt?” he asked again, demanding. Judging by the look on Jeff’s face across the room, his voice was starting to get loud. He tried to calm down, but found he couldn’t. The icy feeling was squeezing past his chest, around his throat, making him hoarse. He had to yell it or he wouldn’t be able to talk at all. His breathing wouldn’t even out. Not until he found out how bad it was. God, what if Luke’s spine was re-injured? Would he be back in a wheelchair? He would hate that.
“No, son,” (and Noah wanted to snap at him for using that term) Damian shook his head, voice cracking again. “They weren’t able to get out in time. The explosion, it... there was nothing left.”
“No.” He wasn’t sure what he was refusing, but it was the only word he was capable of.
“I’m sorry.”
“No.” He felt dizzy and cold and... and this couldn’t be real. Maybe it wasn’t . Maybe it was a dream, or he was watching a movie of some terrible version of his life, or someone was playing a cruel, cruel joke on him. “No. Please?”
Damian’s hand was on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Noah. They’re gone.”
( CONTINUE TO CHAPTER 1)
Author: carolinablu85
Artist: frances_veritas ( HERE OMG)
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: I disclaim.
Pairing: Luke/Noah
Warnings: Characters deaths, Deviation from canon (story starts with canon from summer 2009), Angst, Multiple Flashbacks
Summary: When his dad is killed and he thinks it’s his fault, Luke runs away from his home and his family- and Noah. Years later, he reappears in a very changed Oakdale to right the wrongs he left behind.
PROLOGUE | ONE | TWO | THREE | FOUR | FIVE | EPILOGUE
The road seemed to stretch out endlessly in front of them. It was boring. Luke leaned his head against the truck window, closing his eyes, yawning. He stretched his legs out as far as they would go, his foot hitting the side of his duffel bag, and he had to smile.
---
“I hate packing,” he whines, shoving two more shirts into the bag.
Almost immediately, a pair of hands reach from behind him and pull the shirts out, refold them correctly, and place them neatly back inside. “That’s the real reason you tried to get out of the trip, isn’t it?”
“No,” he grumbles, turning around. His arms snake around Noah’s waist, pulling him close. He grins into Noah’s chest when Noah lets himself be pulled without a fight, his own arms going around Luke. “You’re kinda one too.”
“I can’t go anywhere,” he feels Noah’s smile against the top of his head. “It’s just a few days, and you know you’ll have fun. And I’ll be here... anxiously pining away for your return.”
“Sure.” He rolls his eyes and playfully bites at his chest through the Java shirt, smirking when Noah twitches at the feeling.
“Thanks,” Noah mock-scolds, kissing his cheek lightly before pulling back and going to their dresser. “Do you have everything you need?”
“I don’t know, will you fit in my suitcase?” Luke follows, grabbing him again. He hugs Noah tight to him from behind, loving- as always- the way Noah can’t help but fall silent and close his eyes, leaning back into Luke. “Wish you could come with us,” he presses a few kisses to the back of Noah’s neck.
“Can’t,” Noah murmurs. “Too much work to do.” Meaning Java, meaning school, meaning his film, meaning... Mason. Luke grimaces but keeps quiet about that part. No reason to turn a slightly annoying subject into a full-blown sore one between them. “Besides,” Noah leans back just a little more. “This should just be you and your dad.”
“You mean, to make up for the fact that I almost bailed on him to go on a trip with Damian instead?” Luke sighs dramatically as Noah turns around to face him, the sigh cutting off when Noah kisses him.
“Yes,” Noah answers honestly, gently. “I said before- Holden knows you love him and he’s your dad, but,” he half-smiles, scrunching up one side of his face as though that’ll help get the words out right. “I just... I think he’d like to hear it, and see it, you know?”
And part of him wants to sigh, the natural instinct whenever anyone ever lectures him, but he leans in instead, pushing his lips out a little in request for another kiss. Noah obliges, keeping their mouths pressed together until Luke has no choice but to smile into it. “I know.”
Noah knocks their foreheads together. “When is he picking you up?”
Luke brings his hand up from Noah’s lower back, checking his watch. “Um.... forty-five minutes.”
“Oh,” Noah slides his own hands lower and lower, latching onto Luke’s hips. “That’s a lot of time.” He playfully shoves Luke towards the bed. “That’s good.”
It really is.
---
The truck hitting a particularly deep pothole jerked Luke out of his thoughts. He smiled some more, already planning his welcome home party for the two of them.
“You’ve been quiet,” Holden commented idly.
“Sorry,” Luke turned, sheepish, rubbing at his face a little. “Tired.” He couldn’t exactly explain that he’d been daydreaming about sex with his boyfriend.
“You’re not... regretting coming on the trip, are you?” Holden ventured, glancing at him for a second before looking back to the road.
“What? No, Dad, come on.” It was a weird, almost scary, feeling when a parent showed vulnerability or insecurity like that. They were grownups; they were supposed to handle everything. His dad wasn’t supposed to be like this. Luke was, duh, but not his dad. “Not at all. I swear.”
Holden gave that easygoing smile. “I just don’t want you to feel obligated.”
“Dad, I promise, that’s not what this is.” He turned even more, leaning his back against the door. “And I’ll say it a billion times if you want: Damian is not my dad. Just because I’m working for him, it’s doesn’t... doesn’t mean that.”
"And I should know that, I know. It's just hard to be rational with that man around." Holden gripped the steering wheel tighter, and Luke pretended he didn't notice. "There's always something more going on, he always-"
The truck jerked abruptly under them, startling them both. At first Luke assumed it was another pothole, but the car kept skidding to the side. Across the road. "Dad?"
Holden was trying frantically to steer. "Luke, hang on to-"
The rest of his words were swallowed up in chaos.
***
He only had two hours left on his shift, and he was in that in-between frame of mind- part of him just wanted to go home and go to bed; the other part wanted to stay away from the bed that was painfully empty, stock up on caffeine and work on his film all night. And he was looking at three more nights of this. Three more until Luke came home.
It was going to be a long three nights.
He wiped down the counter slowly, mind wandering, going over script revisions, budgets, Luke, casting ideas, and Luke. It was almost enough to cause him to miss the tall figure standing just outside the coffeehouse, staring in at him. He jumped and stepped back instinctively- his dad had been hiding there just a few weeks ago- then relaxed when he recognized the blond hair.
"Damian?" he called out, which was stupid considering the man was outside.
Still, maybe he'd heard Noah, because he walked in slowly, almost reluctantly. Noah was about to offer him coffee when he looked, really looked, at Damian's face. "Noah..."
"What's wrong?" he asked immediately, coming around from behind the counter. This had 'Snyder Crisis' written all over it. "Faith? Or, did something happen to Lily?" With Luke away, he wanted to think of it as his job to help out with the family. Whatever had happened, he wanted to fix it. "Did Lucinda-"
"Noah," Damian tried again, this time a little less cracked. "Did Luke go with Holden to Kentucky? Definitely?"
He could already feel ice starting to grab at him, from his toes up, shaking his knees. He nodded. "Why? What happened?"
"You're sure?" Damian got closer, almost desperate. "There's no chance he backed out at the last second, went to-"
"I'm sure," Noah backed up enough to grab at one of the chairs for balance. "Why?"
He watched as Damian visibly braced himself, gathering resolve, and it just made him shake more. "Jack Snyder got a call from Kentucky State Police an hour ago."
The ice was squeezing his lungs now. "Police?"
Damian spoke almost gently, and it freaked Noah out as much as anything. “Holden’s truck. It went through a guardrail and over the side of a- a cliff. Something happened to the brakes, they think.”
They’re both dead. As always, his brain immediately went to the worst-case, and most logical, scenario. And then, just as quickly and just as predictably, he told himself no- it would be okay, everything was fine, nothing that bad could ever really happen. “How badly are they hurt?” He started making calculations in his head, plans for how quickly he could fly out to Kentucky, worrying if the hospital staff would even let him see Luke, if-
“Noah,” Damian approached him, and up closer Noah could see his skin was pale, gray, his eyes glassy. “The truck exploded. Probably on impact.”
“How badly are they hurt?” he asked again, demanding. Judging by the look on Jeff’s face across the room, his voice was starting to get loud. He tried to calm down, but found he couldn’t. The icy feeling was squeezing past his chest, around his throat, making him hoarse. He had to yell it or he wouldn’t be able to talk at all. His breathing wouldn’t even out. Not until he found out how bad it was. God, what if Luke’s spine was re-injured? Would he be back in a wheelchair? He would hate that.
“No, son,” (and Noah wanted to snap at him for using that term) Damian shook his head, voice cracking again. “They weren’t able to get out in time. The explosion, it... there was nothing left.”
“No.” He wasn’t sure what he was refusing, but it was the only word he was capable of.
“I’m sorry.”
“No.” He felt dizzy and cold and... and this couldn’t be real. Maybe it wasn’t . Maybe it was a dream, or he was watching a movie of some terrible version of his life, or someone was playing a cruel, cruel joke on him. “No. Please?”
Damian’s hand was on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Noah. They’re gone.”
( CONTINUE TO CHAPTER 1)