Eclipse - Chapter 40. Double-Edged Sword
Title: Eclipse
Author: CC
Story: In a love triangle caught in a complex web of power, lies, deception, hatred, and dark obsession, who will pay the highest price to find true happiness?
Rating: Rated R
Warnings: Graphic Sex, Non-Con
Pairing: Kradam
Disclaimer: This is purely fiction.
Word Count: 3130
Chapter 40. Double-Edged Sword
When Adam arrived at the hotel, he requested the concierge to tell Mr. Allen to meet him at the hotel lobby, but the concierge told him that Mr. Allen’s strict instructions were to bring him up to his room. Adam couldn’t do anything but to follow the bellhop to the hotel suite.
Throughout the seemingly long elevator ride and walk down the hall, Adam’s heart was beating at an abnormally fast pace. He absently watched the hotel staff unlock the door.
“Thank you,” Adam whispered and watched the bellhop leave. The clicking sound of the lock made him feel trapped.
“Hello,” Adam called out but got no answer. He walked farther into the room. No one was in the sitting room and the dining room was empty. The room didn’t even look inhabited. He stopped by a large glass window and saw that the city below had already turned gray against the twilight sky. Soon, it would come alive with lights coming from offices, homes, and cars.
“The view from my bedroom is perfect too.”
Adam jumped in surprise. He turned around to find Kris leaning against the bedroom door, one hand pressed down into his pocket, the other holding a glass of wine.
Adam didn’t know how long he stood there staring. He couldn’t help but notice Kris’s sexy tousled hair, the firm smooth chest exposed by his half open shirt that was left unbuttoned at the top, and the seductive brown eyes.
Adam tore his eyes away from the tempting view and swallowed hard before speaking, “I know you’re a busy man, Kris… I mean, Mr. Allen, so I’m ready to show you the catalog for your final approval.”
“Come inside, I prefer the more comfortable couch in my bedroom.”
“I don’t think Katy would appreciate if I intrude on your privacy.”
“Oh, don’t worry about Katy. It’s just the two of us in this room.” Kris slowly approached him.
As the space between them grew smaller, the room became strangely hotter. Adam wanted to run away but his feet wouldn’t cooperate, as if spellbound. Time lost all meaning. The months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, and seconds that kept them apart slowly dissolved into nonexistence. When Kris stopped only a few inches in front of him, his solid heat made Adam weak with longing.
Kris took the portfolio from Adam’s hand and when their skin touched, they both felt a jolt of electricity that made every part of their bodies tingle with desire. A tiny almost indiscernible gasp escaped Adam’s lips and it took all of Kris’s willpower not to lunge at him and devour those succulent lips.
“Let’s go to the bedroom, Adam.”
“Kris… I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“What are you afraid of?” Kris turned without waiting for Adam to answer and went straight into the bedroom.
“I’m afraid of myself,” Adam whispered to himself. He looked at the door leading toward the exit. If he chose to leave now, it would reveal his weakness to resist Kris and he would also risk losing the project. His head turned toward the bedroom. On the other hand, if he went inside, he wasn’t sure if he would be able trust his heart not to remember the only person that made it beat alive with happiness.
Adam took a deep breath and headed blindly into the bedroom hoping he was making the right choice. Once inside the bedroom, he hastily averted his eyes away from the king-sized bed and saw Kris seated on the small couch studying his sketches.
The sight of Kris completely absorbed on the designs reminded him of the time when Kris would always gush about his work and shower him with words of encouragement. Though seemingly simple acts, those kind, loving words were like tiny sparks that ignited the burning passion for his work. He knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that without Kris, he wouldn’t be where he was now.
Kris gestured for him to take the seat beside him on the small sofa that could seat only two people. Adam cringed when he remembered what the sofa was called, the loveseat. Looking around the bedroom, he could either sit on the only available couch or the bed, Adam thought the couch was a safer option.
That was what he thought until their bodies made contact and he shivered even if it wasn’t cold in the room. The loveseat was so small that there was no other way to seat without their bodies touching. Kris’s nearness was driving him nuts but he did his best to pull himself together and focused on the business at hand.
“You’ve become even better, Adam,” Kris said in awe, “It’s a rare beauty.”
Adam blushed at the compliment. At the corner of his eye, he could see Kris staring at him. He became more aware of the warm strong body beside him. Kris’s familiar scent that whiffed through his nose brought fresh images of Kris’s naked body which heightened his arousal even more.
He slowly dared to look at Kris and got lost in the intensity of the yearning he saw in those adorable brown eyes and those moist parted lips. Slowly, very slowly, they were drawn toward each other. When their lips were merely an inch apart, they held back in bated anticipation.
Adam inched closer and brushed his lips ever so gently on Kris’s lips. Kris quivered at the light feathery touch of Adam’s soft lips. Adam moved closer again and caught Kris’s lower lip between his own and then drew back to flick his tongue over his own lips as if to savor the taste. Kris’s fists were tightly clenched to stop them from grabbing Adam and kissing him senseless.
Adam wanted the moment to last longer. It reminded him of their very first kiss and how their lips molded each other perfectly. Adam moved tentatively closer and closed his eyes before tenderly nipping on Kris’s upper lip. When Adam’s tongue gently ran across it, Kris lost all his self-control and took charge of the kiss.
He pushed Adam down on the couch and kissed him passionately. Adam melted in his arms like he was bathed and covered with warm sunshine. His happiness made him forget everything else except Kris’s warm lips and strong hands that were soft and gentle and not rough and demanding like…
No! Please make it last a little longer. His brain refused to remember, but through his heady mind, an image fought its way through and appeared with frightening clarity. Alex’s outraged face violently snatched him back to reality.
“Kris… Stop!” He pushed him away and quickly sat up. “I’m so sorry, I can’t do this.” He squeezed his eyes shut to stop the tears that stung his eyes.
Kris, still reeling at the sudden plummet from the height of his sexual arousal down to the depth of yet another rejection, was too shock to speak. He started pacing back and forth until the slow burn of his anger had finally reached its limit.
“Why do you find it difficult to betray Alex, when you have so easily betrayed me?” Kris asked, contempt apparent in his voice.
The unexpected words cut deep into Adam’s core. He looked at Kris wide-eyed and hurt at his false accusations, but indignant words failed to come out to defend himself because the agony he saw in Kris’s eyes tore at his heart.
“Do you really believe that?” Adam asked with a pained expression on his face.
“What else should I believe but the simple truth that you married another man? Can you deny that truth, Adam?” Kris said in a steely voice.
Adam was torn. It was painful for him to leave Kris believing that he betrayed him, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell the truth either even if it meant exonerating himself. His heart told him that it would be far easier for Kris to forget him if he hated him.
Kris thought his silence was an admission of guilt. “I thought so,” Kris said accusingly. “Do you know how many times I died because of you, Adam?”
Adam wanted to run to Kris and comfort him, but he stayed seated on the couch.
“I won’t lie. I came back to make you feel the pain I suffered.”
Adam had already suspected this much was true, but to hear it from Kris’s mouth was like a knife being driven repeatedly through his chest.
“I came back to make you realize that you made a big mistake of marrying Alex because… I’m the one you love,” Kris’s voice cracked as tears welled in his eyes.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Kris.” Adam wiped the tears that poured freely down his face.
“How stupid of me to think that seeing you hurt would drive my pain away. Yesterday, in your office and even now, seeing you hurting because of me causes me more pain than you could ever imagine,” Kris admitted.
Adam did not know any more words of comfort to say, so he just cried quietly.
“Can you just at least give me answers, Adam? I spent many sleepless night haunted by these questions that almost drove me mad. How could you carelessly throw away our promise of love to each other? How could you marry another man when we were already engaged? What things did he give you that I didn’t give to you! Answer me!”
Adam jumped in surprise. It was the first time that Kris raised his voice at him.
He flinched when Kris grabbed a box off the table and hurled it on the floor. Bundles of dollars scattered on the floor. “Is it because of money?”
Adam got scared at the burning anger in Kris’s eyes. The half empty bottle of wine on the table indicated that he might have drunk too much. He was worried that the wine might have impaired his reason and made him too emotional to think clearly.
He stood up and spoke gently, “Kris… I’ll just come back when you’re a little calmer.”
Kris lunged at him, grabbed his arms, and shook him roughly. “You’ll not leave until you answer me, damn it! Is it because of money!”
Adam winced at the pain as he was shaken like a rag doll but still stayed calm. He knew Kris wouldn’t hurt him. “Kris, let me go, you’re hurting me.”
“Was he better in bed? Huh, was that it?”
“No! Stop it, Kris, you don’t know what you’re saying.” Adam pushed Kris hard but his hands kept him restrained.
“I’ll show you who’s better in bed!” Kris pulled Adam’s arm roughly toward the bed.
“What are you doing?” Adam’s voice shook with rising panic.
“Maybe this is what I should’ve done if I had known this is what you wanted!”
“No… no… no…, please don’t this.”
Kris was oblivious to Adam’s pleas and cries of protests. He pushed him on the bed and straddled his hips.
Adam was too shocked to even speak or move.
Kris violently ripped Adam’s shirt apart.
A deafening silence immediately filled the room. Kris couldn’t believe what he was seeing. His eyes first focused on the moon pendant sitting on Adam’s chest but when his eyes adjusted, he saw different marks, bruises made by hands and teeth on Adam’s body.
Kris froze in shock and it took a while before his haywire brain could process what happened. He stared at his own trembling hands and couldn’t grasp how they could be capable of such violence, of such an unforgivable act. The realization of what he could have done to Adam made him sick and he staggered backward and fell off the bed.
Adam pulled his ripped shirt together to cover his body before curling to his side and crying in shame and fear.
Sitting on the floor, Kris fought back his urge to vomit. Adam needed him now. He stood on shaky legs and climbed up the bed. Very carefully, he gently wrapped Adam in his arms and whispered tenderly to his ears, “I’m so sorry, baby. I don’t know what came over me. Please forgive me.”
Adam’s body was shaking all over and he was sobbing hard.
“There is only one real reason why I came back and that is to get you back. I don’t give a damn, but the universe made a mistake. We belong together, Adam and here is where I’ll stay.” Kris heaved a big sigh of relief when Adam leaned back and relaxed within his arms.
Having Adam in his arms made his feelings of emptiness go away. It was like he was whole again. In a matter of seconds, the hole in his heart had ceased to exist. With Adam, his life was complete again.
Kris held him tight until he had fallen asleep. Kris knew that he was nowhere near the truth and was still far from getting all his answers but seeing the moon pendant around Adam’s neck told him that there was still a glimmer of hope for their love to survive despite the bleak future ahead.
When the wind is blowing in your face and the whole world is on your case, I could offer you a warm embrace to make you feel my love. When the evening shadows and the stars appear and there is no one there to dry your tears, I could hold you for a million years to make you feel my love.
Adam was sure he was dreaming. He could hear Kris’s sweet voice lulling him to sleep and could feel his warm beating heart beneath his hand that was covered by his. Another hand was gently running through his hair. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt safe and loved. He didn’t want to open his eyes, fearful that if he did the dream would end.
The tight way Adam was clutching his shirt and pressing himself close against his body told Kris he was awake.
“Adam, I’m here. It’s real, it’s not a dream,” Kris whispered.
Adam slowly opened his eyes and looked up at Kris still unsure if he was a dream. Kris smiled and kissed the top of his head before whispering, “I love you, Adam.”
Adam’s eyes welled with tears and he just hugged Kris tight like he didn’t want to let go. They stayed that way for a while contented to just be in each other’s arms. Adam did not anymore see the need to cover up the truth now that Kris had seen a glimpse of it. It was Adam who broke the silence first. “You’re right, you know. You deserve an explanation.”
Kris’s hand momentarily stopped and then continued raking his fingers through Adam’s hair. He would patiently wait until Adam was ready to share everything.
“I didn’t betray you, Kris. I married Alex not because I love him but because of an obligation,” Adam breathed out a deep sigh like he had finally cut off the heavy metal ball and chain that was weighing him down.
“I got in trouble shortly after you left. The police accused me of pushing drugs, but I swear it wasn’t true, Kris.”
Kris squeezed his hand and held him tighter as if he could still protect him from the past. It was painful just to imagine how scared Adam must have been and he was angry at himself for not being there. “I’m so sorry, baby. I wish you could’ve called me. You know I would do anything for you.”
“I did, but Katy got upset I called and time was running out and I didn’t want to go to jail,” Adam shivered at the thought and Kris hugged him tighter. Kris mentally reminded himself that he would have a long talk with Katy.
“Alex bailed me out of prison, and he saved me,” Adam said with a deep sadness in his voice.
“I don’t know about that, Adam. It seems to me like he took advantage of your helpless situation so you’ll be forced to marry him,” Kris paused and then dared to ask the question that had been bothering him, “Does he always hurt you?” Kris lifted Adam’s chin so he would look at him.
Adam looked down to hide his face from Kris. There was one secret he still wasn’t prepared to tell Kris. “Alex gave me a home and helped me in my career. He lets me buy anything I want and he could be sweet at times...,” Adam said as if justifying his relationship with Alex. “He... he just likes to get off at rough sex,” Adam said in a low voice too ashamed to admit the truth, the ugly truth that he gave him the permission to abuse him.
Adam turned his head up to look at Kris and unbidden tears welled up in his eyes, “Every time he touches me, I wish it was your hand,” Adam paused to ease the tightening in his throat before speaking again, “and every time he takes me, I wish you were the one making love to me.”
Kris kissed his lips and Adam held his face to return the kiss until he cried, too overwhelmed with emotions.
“Adam, I’m sorry for even considering that you could betray me. I should have known better and never doubted you for a second.”
Adam felt the sincere regret in Kris’s voice and he felt content just to lay down his head on Kris’s shoulder and place his hand on his chest. The beating of his heart beneath his palm had the power to calm him down.
“What’s this?” Adam asked as his fingers touched something hard.
Kris pulled out his sun pendant.
Adam held it lovingly in his hand. “Why are you still wearing it?”
Kris held Adam’s moon pendant and asked him the same question, “Why are you still wearing yours?”
“Even when I thought I had lost you, I kept it. It has kept our memories alive in my mind and in my heart and gave me warmth and light during the darkest moments of my life.” Adam took the pendant from Kris’s hand and kissed it before kissing Kris’s hand.
“My pendant lets me keep a part of you everywhere I go. It gave me hope that all is not lost.” Kris held Adam’s head between his hands to make him understand what he was about to say, “Now that I found you, I’ll never ever let you go again.” Kris sealed the promise with a passionate kiss on the lips.
“Kris... It doesn’t change the fact that I’m married and you’re engaged.”
“Shh... Let’s not talk about that yet. Let’s enjoy this time while we still can.”
Author: CC
Story: In a love triangle caught in a complex web of power, lies, deception, hatred, and dark obsession, who will pay the highest price to find true happiness?
Rating: Rated R
Warnings: Graphic Sex, Non-Con
Pairing: Kradam
Disclaimer: This is purely fiction.
Word Count: 3130
Chapter 40. Double-Edged Sword
When Adam arrived at the hotel, he requested the concierge to tell Mr. Allen to meet him at the hotel lobby, but the concierge told him that Mr. Allen’s strict instructions were to bring him up to his room. Adam couldn’t do anything but to follow the bellhop to the hotel suite.
Throughout the seemingly long elevator ride and walk down the hall, Adam’s heart was beating at an abnormally fast pace. He absently watched the hotel staff unlock the door.
“Thank you,” Adam whispered and watched the bellhop leave. The clicking sound of the lock made him feel trapped.
“Hello,” Adam called out but got no answer. He walked farther into the room. No one was in the sitting room and the dining room was empty. The room didn’t even look inhabited. He stopped by a large glass window and saw that the city below had already turned gray against the twilight sky. Soon, it would come alive with lights coming from offices, homes, and cars.
“The view from my bedroom is perfect too.”
Adam jumped in surprise. He turned around to find Kris leaning against the bedroom door, one hand pressed down into his pocket, the other holding a glass of wine.
Adam didn’t know how long he stood there staring. He couldn’t help but notice Kris’s sexy tousled hair, the firm smooth chest exposed by his half open shirt that was left unbuttoned at the top, and the seductive brown eyes.
Adam tore his eyes away from the tempting view and swallowed hard before speaking, “I know you’re a busy man, Kris… I mean, Mr. Allen, so I’m ready to show you the catalog for your final approval.”
“Come inside, I prefer the more comfortable couch in my bedroom.”
“I don’t think Katy would appreciate if I intrude on your privacy.”
“Oh, don’t worry about Katy. It’s just the two of us in this room.” Kris slowly approached him.
As the space between them grew smaller, the room became strangely hotter. Adam wanted to run away but his feet wouldn’t cooperate, as if spellbound. Time lost all meaning. The months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, and seconds that kept them apart slowly dissolved into nonexistence. When Kris stopped only a few inches in front of him, his solid heat made Adam weak with longing.
Kris took the portfolio from Adam’s hand and when their skin touched, they both felt a jolt of electricity that made every part of their bodies tingle with desire. A tiny almost indiscernible gasp escaped Adam’s lips and it took all of Kris’s willpower not to lunge at him and devour those succulent lips.
“Let’s go to the bedroom, Adam.”
“Kris… I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“What are you afraid of?” Kris turned without waiting for Adam to answer and went straight into the bedroom.
“I’m afraid of myself,” Adam whispered to himself. He looked at the door leading toward the exit. If he chose to leave now, it would reveal his weakness to resist Kris and he would also risk losing the project. His head turned toward the bedroom. On the other hand, if he went inside, he wasn’t sure if he would be able trust his heart not to remember the only person that made it beat alive with happiness.
Adam took a deep breath and headed blindly into the bedroom hoping he was making the right choice. Once inside the bedroom, he hastily averted his eyes away from the king-sized bed and saw Kris seated on the small couch studying his sketches.
The sight of Kris completely absorbed on the designs reminded him of the time when Kris would always gush about his work and shower him with words of encouragement. Though seemingly simple acts, those kind, loving words were like tiny sparks that ignited the burning passion for his work. He knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that without Kris, he wouldn’t be where he was now.
Kris gestured for him to take the seat beside him on the small sofa that could seat only two people. Adam cringed when he remembered what the sofa was called, the loveseat. Looking around the bedroom, he could either sit on the only available couch or the bed, Adam thought the couch was a safer option.
That was what he thought until their bodies made contact and he shivered even if it wasn’t cold in the room. The loveseat was so small that there was no other way to seat without their bodies touching. Kris’s nearness was driving him nuts but he did his best to pull himself together and focused on the business at hand.
“You’ve become even better, Adam,” Kris said in awe, “It’s a rare beauty.”
Adam blushed at the compliment. At the corner of his eye, he could see Kris staring at him. He became more aware of the warm strong body beside him. Kris’s familiar scent that whiffed through his nose brought fresh images of Kris’s naked body which heightened his arousal even more.
He slowly dared to look at Kris and got lost in the intensity of the yearning he saw in those adorable brown eyes and those moist parted lips. Slowly, very slowly, they were drawn toward each other. When their lips were merely an inch apart, they held back in bated anticipation.
Adam inched closer and brushed his lips ever so gently on Kris’s lips. Kris quivered at the light feathery touch of Adam’s soft lips. Adam moved closer again and caught Kris’s lower lip between his own and then drew back to flick his tongue over his own lips as if to savor the taste. Kris’s fists were tightly clenched to stop them from grabbing Adam and kissing him senseless.
Adam wanted the moment to last longer. It reminded him of their very first kiss and how their lips molded each other perfectly. Adam moved tentatively closer and closed his eyes before tenderly nipping on Kris’s upper lip. When Adam’s tongue gently ran across it, Kris lost all his self-control and took charge of the kiss.
He pushed Adam down on the couch and kissed him passionately. Adam melted in his arms like he was bathed and covered with warm sunshine. His happiness made him forget everything else except Kris’s warm lips and strong hands that were soft and gentle and not rough and demanding like…
No! Please make it last a little longer. His brain refused to remember, but through his heady mind, an image fought its way through and appeared with frightening clarity. Alex’s outraged face violently snatched him back to reality.
“Kris… Stop!” He pushed him away and quickly sat up. “I’m so sorry, I can’t do this.” He squeezed his eyes shut to stop the tears that stung his eyes.
Kris, still reeling at the sudden plummet from the height of his sexual arousal down to the depth of yet another rejection, was too shock to speak. He started pacing back and forth until the slow burn of his anger had finally reached its limit.
“Why do you find it difficult to betray Alex, when you have so easily betrayed me?” Kris asked, contempt apparent in his voice.
The unexpected words cut deep into Adam’s core. He looked at Kris wide-eyed and hurt at his false accusations, but indignant words failed to come out to defend himself because the agony he saw in Kris’s eyes tore at his heart.
“Do you really believe that?” Adam asked with a pained expression on his face.
“What else should I believe but the simple truth that you married another man? Can you deny that truth, Adam?” Kris said in a steely voice.
Adam was torn. It was painful for him to leave Kris believing that he betrayed him, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell the truth either even if it meant exonerating himself. His heart told him that it would be far easier for Kris to forget him if he hated him.
Kris thought his silence was an admission of guilt. “I thought so,” Kris said accusingly. “Do you know how many times I died because of you, Adam?”
Adam wanted to run to Kris and comfort him, but he stayed seated on the couch.
“I won’t lie. I came back to make you feel the pain I suffered.”
Adam had already suspected this much was true, but to hear it from Kris’s mouth was like a knife being driven repeatedly through his chest.
“I came back to make you realize that you made a big mistake of marrying Alex because… I’m the one you love,” Kris’s voice cracked as tears welled in his eyes.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Kris.” Adam wiped the tears that poured freely down his face.
“How stupid of me to think that seeing you hurt would drive my pain away. Yesterday, in your office and even now, seeing you hurting because of me causes me more pain than you could ever imagine,” Kris admitted.
Adam did not know any more words of comfort to say, so he just cried quietly.
“Can you just at least give me answers, Adam? I spent many sleepless night haunted by these questions that almost drove me mad. How could you carelessly throw away our promise of love to each other? How could you marry another man when we were already engaged? What things did he give you that I didn’t give to you! Answer me!”
Adam jumped in surprise. It was the first time that Kris raised his voice at him.
He flinched when Kris grabbed a box off the table and hurled it on the floor. Bundles of dollars scattered on the floor. “Is it because of money?”
Adam got scared at the burning anger in Kris’s eyes. The half empty bottle of wine on the table indicated that he might have drunk too much. He was worried that the wine might have impaired his reason and made him too emotional to think clearly.
He stood up and spoke gently, “Kris… I’ll just come back when you’re a little calmer.”
Kris lunged at him, grabbed his arms, and shook him roughly. “You’ll not leave until you answer me, damn it! Is it because of money!”
Adam winced at the pain as he was shaken like a rag doll but still stayed calm. He knew Kris wouldn’t hurt him. “Kris, let me go, you’re hurting me.”
“Was he better in bed? Huh, was that it?”
“No! Stop it, Kris, you don’t know what you’re saying.” Adam pushed Kris hard but his hands kept him restrained.
“I’ll show you who’s better in bed!” Kris pulled Adam’s arm roughly toward the bed.
“What are you doing?” Adam’s voice shook with rising panic.
“Maybe this is what I should’ve done if I had known this is what you wanted!”
“No… no… no…, please don’t this.”
Kris was oblivious to Adam’s pleas and cries of protests. He pushed him on the bed and straddled his hips.
Adam was too shocked to even speak or move.
Kris violently ripped Adam’s shirt apart.
A deafening silence immediately filled the room. Kris couldn’t believe what he was seeing. His eyes first focused on the moon pendant sitting on Adam’s chest but when his eyes adjusted, he saw different marks, bruises made by hands and teeth on Adam’s body.
Kris froze in shock and it took a while before his haywire brain could process what happened. He stared at his own trembling hands and couldn’t grasp how they could be capable of such violence, of such an unforgivable act. The realization of what he could have done to Adam made him sick and he staggered backward and fell off the bed.
Adam pulled his ripped shirt together to cover his body before curling to his side and crying in shame and fear.
Sitting on the floor, Kris fought back his urge to vomit. Adam needed him now. He stood on shaky legs and climbed up the bed. Very carefully, he gently wrapped Adam in his arms and whispered tenderly to his ears, “I’m so sorry, baby. I don’t know what came over me. Please forgive me.”
Adam’s body was shaking all over and he was sobbing hard.
“There is only one real reason why I came back and that is to get you back. I don’t give a damn, but the universe made a mistake. We belong together, Adam and here is where I’ll stay.” Kris heaved a big sigh of relief when Adam leaned back and relaxed within his arms.
Having Adam in his arms made his feelings of emptiness go away. It was like he was whole again. In a matter of seconds, the hole in his heart had ceased to exist. With Adam, his life was complete again.
Kris held him tight until he had fallen asleep. Kris knew that he was nowhere near the truth and was still far from getting all his answers but seeing the moon pendant around Adam’s neck told him that there was still a glimmer of hope for their love to survive despite the bleak future ahead.
When the wind is blowing in your face and the whole world is on your case, I could offer you a warm embrace to make you feel my love. When the evening shadows and the stars appear and there is no one there to dry your tears, I could hold you for a million years to make you feel my love.
Adam was sure he was dreaming. He could hear Kris’s sweet voice lulling him to sleep and could feel his warm beating heart beneath his hand that was covered by his. Another hand was gently running through his hair. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt safe and loved. He didn’t want to open his eyes, fearful that if he did the dream would end.
The tight way Adam was clutching his shirt and pressing himself close against his body told Kris he was awake.
“Adam, I’m here. It’s real, it’s not a dream,” Kris whispered.
Adam slowly opened his eyes and looked up at Kris still unsure if he was a dream. Kris smiled and kissed the top of his head before whispering, “I love you, Adam.”
Adam’s eyes welled with tears and he just hugged Kris tight like he didn’t want to let go. They stayed that way for a while contented to just be in each other’s arms. Adam did not anymore see the need to cover up the truth now that Kris had seen a glimpse of it. It was Adam who broke the silence first. “You’re right, you know. You deserve an explanation.”
Kris’s hand momentarily stopped and then continued raking his fingers through Adam’s hair. He would patiently wait until Adam was ready to share everything.
“I didn’t betray you, Kris. I married Alex not because I love him but because of an obligation,” Adam breathed out a deep sigh like he had finally cut off the heavy metal ball and chain that was weighing him down.
“I got in trouble shortly after you left. The police accused me of pushing drugs, but I swear it wasn’t true, Kris.”
Kris squeezed his hand and held him tighter as if he could still protect him from the past. It was painful just to imagine how scared Adam must have been and he was angry at himself for not being there. “I’m so sorry, baby. I wish you could’ve called me. You know I would do anything for you.”
“I did, but Katy got upset I called and time was running out and I didn’t want to go to jail,” Adam shivered at the thought and Kris hugged him tighter. Kris mentally reminded himself that he would have a long talk with Katy.
“Alex bailed me out of prison, and he saved me,” Adam said with a deep sadness in his voice.
“I don’t know about that, Adam. It seems to me like he took advantage of your helpless situation so you’ll be forced to marry him,” Kris paused and then dared to ask the question that had been bothering him, “Does he always hurt you?” Kris lifted Adam’s chin so he would look at him.
Adam looked down to hide his face from Kris. There was one secret he still wasn’t prepared to tell Kris. “Alex gave me a home and helped me in my career. He lets me buy anything I want and he could be sweet at times...,” Adam said as if justifying his relationship with Alex. “He... he just likes to get off at rough sex,” Adam said in a low voice too ashamed to admit the truth, the ugly truth that he gave him the permission to abuse him.
Adam turned his head up to look at Kris and unbidden tears welled up in his eyes, “Every time he touches me, I wish it was your hand,” Adam paused to ease the tightening in his throat before speaking again, “and every time he takes me, I wish you were the one making love to me.”
Kris kissed his lips and Adam held his face to return the kiss until he cried, too overwhelmed with emotions.
“Adam, I’m sorry for even considering that you could betray me. I should have known better and never doubted you for a second.”
Adam felt the sincere regret in Kris’s voice and he felt content just to lay down his head on Kris’s shoulder and place his hand on his chest. The beating of his heart beneath his palm had the power to calm him down.
“What’s this?” Adam asked as his fingers touched something hard.
Kris pulled out his sun pendant.
Adam held it lovingly in his hand. “Why are you still wearing it?”
Kris held Adam’s moon pendant and asked him the same question, “Why are you still wearing yours?”
“Even when I thought I had lost you, I kept it. It has kept our memories alive in my mind and in my heart and gave me warmth and light during the darkest moments of my life.” Adam took the pendant from Kris’s hand and kissed it before kissing Kris’s hand.
“My pendant lets me keep a part of you everywhere I go. It gave me hope that all is not lost.” Kris held Adam’s head between his hands to make him understand what he was about to say, “Now that I found you, I’ll never ever let you go again.” Kris sealed the promise with a passionate kiss on the lips.
“Kris... It doesn’t change the fact that I’m married and you’re engaged.”
“Shh... Let’s not talk about that yet. Let’s enjoy this time while we still can.”