Fic: Ab Initio (CSI, Sara/Warrick, R)
So I finished my paper (well, all except the references, but it's not due until Sunday so I've got time) and then -- here's where it gets weird -- I wrote het porn. I don't even know why I wrote het porn; I was just folding my laundry and an image popped into my head and suddenly I was going where I haven't gone in a good long time. I am laying all blame for this squarely at the feet of CSI's casting director. But it's Sara/Warrick, so maybe it'll cheer up girlnorth.
And now I have to go write some slash just to restore the balance of the universe.
Title: Ab Initio
Fandom: CSI
Pairing: Sara/Warrick (!!)
Rating: R
Summary: They're nothing alike.
Author's note: It's not as porny as I made it out to be. It was supposed to be, but you know how relationship-building always sneaks into my porn despite my best intentions. It's a curse.
She shouldn't be here. She knew she shouldn't be here, knew it was just the long shift and the endless, miserable case making them all crazy. Making them do things they'd never do, and she knew in the morning - afternoon - they'd both wake up regretting this.
That didn't stop her from pushing up into his hands, wide and strong and tracing the curves of her body like he was memorizing her. Like he'd thought about this before, planned all the places he'd touch her with those capable hands. With his mouth, hot and wet and teasing a nipple until she was arching up hard off the bed, mouth open on a helpless gasp and when he laughed the sound vibrated all the way through her.
Her fingers dug into his shoulders, pale against dark and the sight reminded her how different they were. He was confidence to her insecurity, sure of himself and what he could offer and she'd give anything to feel like that. Because even now, with his mouth on her skin and his fingers working her clit she didn't know what she was doing here, didn't understand why he'd want her when he could have…anyone.
Grissom hadn't wanted her. That hurt more than it should have, because of all the men in her life, he was the one who should have understood her. He was her in a lot of ways, as like her as Warrick was different and that's why none of this made any sense, because it was Warrick's voice murmuring her name and Warrick's hand lifting her up, arching her hips and parting her legs and when he pushed inside her she closed her eyes and didn't think about how soon it would be over.
Instead she focused on the fire burning inside her, hottest at her center and radiating out in waves until she felt like she might burst into flames. She felt the heat in her belly, in her toes and her cheeks and the fingers that were entwined with Warrick's, stretched high above her head and she squeezed helplessly with each slow thrust. Knew how she must look, trapped under him and pressing up for more, faster and right there until her cheeks burned with the knowledge that every time he looked at her from now on, this was what he'd see.
When he looked at her over a body he'd see her like this, flushed and panting and desperate. When he saw her in the break room, in the lab over evidence or in the morgue while Doc Robbins ran down the cause of death on their latest victim. They'd never be just coworkers again, never be just plain, brilliant Sara and Warrick the ladies' man. They'd be…this, whatever this was between them, and even if it never happened again it would always be there.
And she knew that should bother her, knew the sensible Sara everyone saw when they looked at her would be offended by the suggestion. But when she was here like this, Warrick's strong hand wrapped around hers and his tongue pressing past her teeth to swallow her moans she didn't really mind. She wanted to be this, wanted to be someone he wanted, and it was different from the safety of Grissom or the flattery of catching the eye of someone like Hank.
It was just the case, just the pressure they couldn't find any other way to release. She knew that was the only reason she was here right now, the only reason Warrick had caught her hand on the way across the parking lot and invited her home in that low, velvet voice of his. She wasn't even sure if she'd said yes, but she must have because the next thing she knew she was sliding into his car, and by the time they got inside his apartment she knew exactly where this was heading.
The first kiss still took her by surprise, because until that moment she couldn't quite believe he wanted her. Warrick who'd grown up on the Strip, knew every inch of the city and blended as easily with the casino crowd as he did with the cops. She was nothing like that, never felt quite comfortable in her own skin and she'd always thought that meant someone like Warrick was off limits. But then he'd leaned in and kissed her, pulling her close with those big hands and somehow he made her feel like she belonged.
Like she was meant to be here, like he'd been meaning to get around to this for awhile and all the jokes and smiles she'd always thought of as just being friendly were really some kind of elaborate courtship. And she knew better than to believe this was something other than casual, just a release of tension they'd both regret later. But that wasn't how it felt when he feathered soft kisses along her neck, when he held her tight through her orgasm and then shuddered through his own. That wasn't how it felt when he kissed her again before he slid off her, taking with him all that warm weight and leaving her feeling way too exposed.
And this was the moment she'd been dreading, but no matter how hard she wished, she knew it would come. His hand rested on her belly, fingers splayed almost possessively and she looked down at the contrast of his skin against hers, letting herself wish just for a second that she could have this again. Maybe not forever, because she'd learned a long time ago not to wish for things that couldn't come true, but just for a little while. Just long enough for some of that confidence to rub off on her, long enough to learn whatever secrets she could.
His breath was hot against her neck and she found herself lifting her chin, biting back a sigh when he parted his lips against her collarbone. She reached up without thinking and rested a hand on his shoulder, soaking in the warmth of his skin and when he reached up and caught her hand in his own her heart skipped a beat.
"I've been thinking about this a long time," he said, amusement mingling with affection in his voice.
She didn't want to believe what she was hearing, didn't want to hope for something that turned out to be just what he thought she wanted to hear. Because she wasn't that kind of girl; she was smart enough to know how these things worked, and just because she'd let herself be blind in the past didn't mean it was going to happen again.
"You don't have to say that," she whispered, voice low and for a second she didn't think he'd even heard her.
Then he pushed himself up on one elbow, fingers still entwined with hers but there was something in his eyes that she couldn't quite read. Something almost hard, and she wanted to look away but she forced herself to hold his gaze. "Why are you here?"
"You invited me," she answered, and she could hear the uncertainty in her voice. She wanted to get up, to pull her clothes back on and go home where she could work this out on her own, but when she started to sit up he held her in place.
"I know that, Sara. I'm asking why you said yes. Are you here because of Grissom?"
She wanted to be angry, for the question and for the fact that people had obviously been talking about her and Grissom. But she wasn't really surprised, knew it was mostly her fault and she couldn't blame him for wondering. She'd been wondering since he asked why he'd invited her here; she'd thought it was just the case, but now she wasn't so sure.
And she'd always thought of him as so confident - too confident, really - but now he looked a little unsure, like maybe he wasn't positive she was going to give him the answer he wanted to hear. It shouldn't have made her feel better, because Warrick's confidence was the thing she'd always been drawn to even when she didn't like him very much. But she found herself smiling, shaking her head against his pillow and squeezing the hand still wrapped around hers.
"What's Grissom got to do with this?"
For a second he studied her face, expression unreadable and she thought maybe she'd screwed up again. She was good at saying the wrong thing, after all, but just when she started to panic he grinned and leaned in to press a soft kiss to the side of her mouth. "Good," he murmured against her skin, sending another shiver through her and for the first time she let herself believe that maybe this was just the beginning.
And now I have to go write some slash just to restore the balance of the universe.
Title: Ab Initio
Fandom: CSI
Pairing: Sara/Warrick (!!)
Rating: R
Summary: They're nothing alike.
Author's note: It's not as porny as I made it out to be. It was supposed to be, but you know how relationship-building always sneaks into my porn despite my best intentions. It's a curse.
She shouldn't be here. She knew she shouldn't be here, knew it was just the long shift and the endless, miserable case making them all crazy. Making them do things they'd never do, and she knew in the morning - afternoon - they'd both wake up regretting this.
That didn't stop her from pushing up into his hands, wide and strong and tracing the curves of her body like he was memorizing her. Like he'd thought about this before, planned all the places he'd touch her with those capable hands. With his mouth, hot and wet and teasing a nipple until she was arching up hard off the bed, mouth open on a helpless gasp and when he laughed the sound vibrated all the way through her.
Her fingers dug into his shoulders, pale against dark and the sight reminded her how different they were. He was confidence to her insecurity, sure of himself and what he could offer and she'd give anything to feel like that. Because even now, with his mouth on her skin and his fingers working her clit she didn't know what she was doing here, didn't understand why he'd want her when he could have…anyone.
Grissom hadn't wanted her. That hurt more than it should have, because of all the men in her life, he was the one who should have understood her. He was her in a lot of ways, as like her as Warrick was different and that's why none of this made any sense, because it was Warrick's voice murmuring her name and Warrick's hand lifting her up, arching her hips and parting her legs and when he pushed inside her she closed her eyes and didn't think about how soon it would be over.
Instead she focused on the fire burning inside her, hottest at her center and radiating out in waves until she felt like she might burst into flames. She felt the heat in her belly, in her toes and her cheeks and the fingers that were entwined with Warrick's, stretched high above her head and she squeezed helplessly with each slow thrust. Knew how she must look, trapped under him and pressing up for more, faster and right there until her cheeks burned with the knowledge that every time he looked at her from now on, this was what he'd see.
When he looked at her over a body he'd see her like this, flushed and panting and desperate. When he saw her in the break room, in the lab over evidence or in the morgue while Doc Robbins ran down the cause of death on their latest victim. They'd never be just coworkers again, never be just plain, brilliant Sara and Warrick the ladies' man. They'd be…this, whatever this was between them, and even if it never happened again it would always be there.
And she knew that should bother her, knew the sensible Sara everyone saw when they looked at her would be offended by the suggestion. But when she was here like this, Warrick's strong hand wrapped around hers and his tongue pressing past her teeth to swallow her moans she didn't really mind. She wanted to be this, wanted to be someone he wanted, and it was different from the safety of Grissom or the flattery of catching the eye of someone like Hank.
It was just the case, just the pressure they couldn't find any other way to release. She knew that was the only reason she was here right now, the only reason Warrick had caught her hand on the way across the parking lot and invited her home in that low, velvet voice of his. She wasn't even sure if she'd said yes, but she must have because the next thing she knew she was sliding into his car, and by the time they got inside his apartment she knew exactly where this was heading.
The first kiss still took her by surprise, because until that moment she couldn't quite believe he wanted her. Warrick who'd grown up on the Strip, knew every inch of the city and blended as easily with the casino crowd as he did with the cops. She was nothing like that, never felt quite comfortable in her own skin and she'd always thought that meant someone like Warrick was off limits. But then he'd leaned in and kissed her, pulling her close with those big hands and somehow he made her feel like she belonged.
Like she was meant to be here, like he'd been meaning to get around to this for awhile and all the jokes and smiles she'd always thought of as just being friendly were really some kind of elaborate courtship. And she knew better than to believe this was something other than casual, just a release of tension they'd both regret later. But that wasn't how it felt when he feathered soft kisses along her neck, when he held her tight through her orgasm and then shuddered through his own. That wasn't how it felt when he kissed her again before he slid off her, taking with him all that warm weight and leaving her feeling way too exposed.
And this was the moment she'd been dreading, but no matter how hard she wished, she knew it would come. His hand rested on her belly, fingers splayed almost possessively and she looked down at the contrast of his skin against hers, letting herself wish just for a second that she could have this again. Maybe not forever, because she'd learned a long time ago not to wish for things that couldn't come true, but just for a little while. Just long enough for some of that confidence to rub off on her, long enough to learn whatever secrets she could.
His breath was hot against her neck and she found herself lifting her chin, biting back a sigh when he parted his lips against her collarbone. She reached up without thinking and rested a hand on his shoulder, soaking in the warmth of his skin and when he reached up and caught her hand in his own her heart skipped a beat.
"I've been thinking about this a long time," he said, amusement mingling with affection in his voice.
She didn't want to believe what she was hearing, didn't want to hope for something that turned out to be just what he thought she wanted to hear. Because she wasn't that kind of girl; she was smart enough to know how these things worked, and just because she'd let herself be blind in the past didn't mean it was going to happen again.
"You don't have to say that," she whispered, voice low and for a second she didn't think he'd even heard her.
Then he pushed himself up on one elbow, fingers still entwined with hers but there was something in his eyes that she couldn't quite read. Something almost hard, and she wanted to look away but she forced herself to hold his gaze. "Why are you here?"
"You invited me," she answered, and she could hear the uncertainty in her voice. She wanted to get up, to pull her clothes back on and go home where she could work this out on her own, but when she started to sit up he held her in place.
"I know that, Sara. I'm asking why you said yes. Are you here because of Grissom?"
She wanted to be angry, for the question and for the fact that people had obviously been talking about her and Grissom. But she wasn't really surprised, knew it was mostly her fault and she couldn't blame him for wondering. She'd been wondering since he asked why he'd invited her here; she'd thought it was just the case, but now she wasn't so sure.
And she'd always thought of him as so confident - too confident, really - but now he looked a little unsure, like maybe he wasn't positive she was going to give him the answer he wanted to hear. It shouldn't have made her feel better, because Warrick's confidence was the thing she'd always been drawn to even when she didn't like him very much. But she found herself smiling, shaking her head against his pillow and squeezing the hand still wrapped around hers.
"What's Grissom got to do with this?"
For a second he studied her face, expression unreadable and she thought maybe she'd screwed up again. She was good at saying the wrong thing, after all, but just when she started to panic he grinned and leaned in to press a soft kiss to the side of her mouth. "Good," he murmured against her skin, sending another shiver through her and for the first time she let herself believe that maybe this was just the beginning.