Fic: Butterfly Effect 26/? (Big Wolf On Campus, Tommy/Merton, NC17)
More Butterfly Effect. I still don't know what's going on with this fic, but at least I got them to talk to each other. That's something.
Chapters 1-25 are here. Chapter 26 is here.
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Truce
Merton wasn't in their room when Tommy got back from football practice. He didn't show up for dinner, either, and by the time Tommy finished eating and headed back to the barracks he was actually starting to worry. He knew it was pointless; Merton didn't care about him, and he wouldn't appreciate it if he knew Tommy was worried. But he wasn't here to see Tommy worrying, so what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.
Tommy had paced the length of the floor enough times the he was pretty sure he was starting to wear a groove in the linoleum, and he was actually considering heading out on a recon mission when the door opened. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of Merton, sulky and tired but with no visible bruises, and Tommy forced himself to relax. He'd told himself at least a thousand times in the past couple hours that he didn't care what happened to Merton, but now that he was standing in their room, Tommy had to admit it hadn't worked.
"Where have you been?"
He hadn't meant to blurt it out like that, panic and annoyance clear in his voice, and when Merton looked sharply at him he wished even harder that he'd just kept his mouth shut. Because he wasn't supposed to care; he was supposed to be pissed at Merton, but after everything that happened with the Eckerts it was hard not to picture Merton lying unconscious somewhere on campus. He knew at least a couple of guys on their own squad who'd love to finish the job Travis had started, and he was guessing a few of the guys on Tim Eckert's squad weren't too happy with Merton either.
"I was in the infirmary, if you must know," Merton answered, still watching Tommy like he was waiting for a lecture or something. And okay, maybe he deserved that after the way he acted the last time they saw each other, but it wasn't like Merton hadn't deserved it. Still, he'd been in the infirmary for a long time, and that meant something had to have happened.
"Are you okay?" Tommy asked, ignoring Merton's expression as he took a few steps closer. His fingers twitched with the need to touch, to look for new bruises on all that pale skin, or maybe just to make sure that Merton was still in one piece. And that was weird, but it wasn't even the first time Tommy had reacted that way, so he was starting to get used to it. "Did Roberts…?"
"I'm fine," Merton interrupted, stepping around Tommy to cross the room and sit on his bunk. He reached for his boots and tugged them of one by one, taking his time and if Tommy didn't know better he'd think Merton was avoiding looking at him.
"You missed dinner," Tommy said, clenching his fists at his sides so he wouldn't do something stupid like cross the room again and actually touch Merton this time. "The nurse wouldn't let you get away with that if there wasn't something wrong."
"Please, I've fooled better medical professionals than her," Merton answered, and this time he did look up. He was grinning, so either he was especially proud of himself or he'd forgotten that they were supposed to be mad at each other. "Though I'm starting to get the impression that she really doesn't like kids."
"Why do you think they hired her?" Tommy said, grinning back in spite of himself. He crossed the room to sit on Merton's bunk, careful not to sit close enough to come into contact with any part of the other boy. "If they hired somebody who actually liked kids, all the first graders would go crying to her every time they got homesick and they'd never learn to suck it up."
"You realize how sadistic that is, don't you?"
Tommy laughed, glancing over to find Merton watching him. And he was right; it was a little twisted, but they'd all been through it and they'd all survived. Most of them had gone to school here their entire lives, and if they hadn't learned right away to forget home and start thinking of their squad as their family, they never would have survived.
"It's not so bad. I mean, you get used to it pretty fast. At least if you're not constantly trying to find ways to get yourself thrown out."
"Yeah, well, it hasn't worked all that well so far."
Tommy didn't bother pointing out that this wasn't one of Merton's fancy prep schools. It would take a lot more than a few pranks for the headmaster to give up completely; if nothing else, he wouldn't want to admit that he'd finally met a student he couldn't break. Instead he leaned back on Merton's bed, hands on the mattress to support his weight while he watched Merton's profile. "How many schools have you gotten thrown out of, anyway?"
For a second he thought Merton wasn't going to answer, but then Tommy realized he was counting. "Five."
"Five?" Tommy repeated, caught between shock and the urge to laugh. "No wonder your parents sent you here."
"My father sent me here," Merton said. "My mother's dead."
And he hadn't been expecting that, but maybe he should have known. They'd studied enough psychology in their warfare classes that he should have read the signs; the attention ploys, the way Merton tried to annoy his father just for the hell of it. "Merton, I'm sorry…"
"Forget it," Merton said, talking over him and it was obvious he didn't want to have this conversation. "She died a long time ago. After that my father couldn't stand the sight of me, so he shipped me off to boarding school. I've been getting kicked out of the finest schools on the East Coast ever since."
"So did you really burn down the dorm at your last school?" Tommy asked, grateful for the change of subject. He wanted to know about Merton's mother and why his father didn't want him around, but he didn't want to ask.
"It was a controlled fire," Merton answered, finally looking over at Tommy again. "My friends and I borrowed a Bunsen burner from the Chemistry lab. It was all part of an experiment, but since it was my room I took the fall. Still, you'd think a school with an emphasis on the sciences would be more supportive of the spirit of discovery. See, we were trying out this experiment I found in a book at the public library…"
Tommy listened to Merton's convoluted explanation of the experiment, laughing every once in awhile at the way Merton described his friends and their theories on alchemy. And he wasn't sure what use a bunch of rich kids had for turning metal into gold, but he didn't really care. Merton was talking to him again, and all the weirdness of the past few days was gone just like that. If Merton remembered that they were supposed to be ignoring each other he'd obviously decided it didn't matter anymore, and Tommy sure as hell wasn't going to remind him.
~
"…and the thing is, I never even set anything on fire. I don't get why everyone thinks that."
Merton finally stopped talking, the memory of the experiment that had gotten him thrown out of his last school making him frown. The worst part was that none of it had even been his idea. He'd found the book, sure, but it had been David who suggested they actually try it. And they all knew it wouldn't work, but Merton had gone along with it anyway because David had asked him to.
And for his loyalty he'd gotten dumped via e-mail. He probably should have seen it coming, but that didn't make it hurt any less. He cleared his throat and stood up abruptly, reaching for his boots and crossing the room to stop in front of the closet.
"Anyway, that's how I ended up here. Lucky you."
"I'm not complaining," Tommy said, the words sending a shiver down Merton's spine and he was not turning around to see the look on Tommy's face. This was already weird enough, because a few hours ago he'd been pretty sure Tommy hated him, and now…now they were hanging out and talking like everything was fine. Like the past few days had never happened, and Merton wasn't sure if Tommy had forgotten or if he'd just gotten tired of having no one to talk to.
"Yeah, well, maybe you should be," Merton said, placing his boots carefully in the closet before he ventured a glance at Tommy. Tommy who was still sitting on his bed, legs sprawled in front of him and just sort of leaning and Merton was not going to start thinking about his roommate like that. He wasn't, because Tommy wasn't his type and even if he was there was no way he was interested. Not that it mattered either way, because the things Merton wasn't thinking could get them both killed in a place like this.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Tommy asked, leaning forward to prop his elbows on his knees and suddenly Merton could breathe again.
"Come on, Tommy, you have to know what your friends are saying about us," Merton answered, rolling his eyes because yeah, Tommy was cute, but nobody was that clueless. "They've been calling me a fag since the second they laid eyes on me, and the first time you took my side they turned on you too. Maybe they didn't really buy it at first, but people can only listen to rumors for so long before they start to believe them."
He could tell Tommy didn't want to believe him, but he wasn't stupid, and it was obvious even before he answered that he knew Merton was right. "I know what they've been saying."
And okay, it wasn't disbelief he'd seen in Tommy's eyes after all. "So why are you still being nice to me?"
"I told you, Merton, I saw those pictures of you and…" Tommy trailed off, clearing his throat and Merton was almost sure he was blushing. "The point is, I don't mind. I mean it doesn't matter to me. If the rest of the squad wants to be a bunch of jerks, that's their problem."
It was typical of Tommy to miss the entire point, but Merton had to admit it was nice to have someone on his side. Still, that didn't really help Tommy, and Merton was supposed to be trying this whole 'selfless' thing. "Yeah, but if you just ignored me, they'd probably start talking to you again. You don't have to stick up for me just because we're roommates."
Just because you feel sorry for me, he wanted to say, but he didn't. He knew what kind of reaction that would get him, and he was tired of fighting with Tommy. The truth was Tommy and Lori were the only friends he had left, and after the way he'd treated Lori, he wouldn't blame her if she stopped being his friend too.
"You still don't get it, do you?"
"What?" Merton asked, frowning at the grin on Tommy's face, because he was pretty sure Tommy was laughing at him.
"The whole point of being on a squadron is to watch each other's backs," Tommy answered. "Just because the rest of the guys seem to have forgotten that doesn't mean I'm going to. So yeah, I do have to."
And maybe that wasn't the answer Merton had been expecting to hear, but he told himself he wasn't disappointed. It was bad enough that Tommy wouldn't take the out Merton had just offered him; he wasn't going to make things even more complicated by wanting things he couldn't have. "Fine," he answered, not quite managing to swallow a smile. "But I think I should get points for thinking of somebody besides myself for a change."
"So we're keeping score now?" Tommy asked, but he was still grinning and Merton decided to take that as a good sign.
"I'm just saying that I'm not always selfish. I mean, there was that time I helped you with your math, too."
"Right," Tommy said, and now Merton was positive he was being laughed at, but he didn't really mind. "And I've got losing my squadron trying to keep you alive, losing all my friends…"
"Okay, okay, so you're still ahead," Merton interrupted, rolling his eyes when Tommy smirked at him. "See if I help you with your homework again."
"All right, I'm sorry," Tommy said as he watched Merton settle into his desk chair and pull his books toward him. "Now that you mention it, we've got that test coming up…"
Merton rolled his eyes and glanced over his shoulder at Tommy, still sprawled on his bed like he belonged there. And that was a dangerous thought, so Merton pushed it aside and reached for his math book. "Fine. But I want points for this too."
Tommy grinned and stood up, pulling his own desk chair over to Merton's side and leaning close to see the equations in the book. And it was still weird, especially now that Tommy had figured out that the rumors about him were true. But it was kind of nice, too, because at least there was one place in this godforsaken school where he didn't have to pretend.
Chapters 1-25 are here. Chapter 26 is here.
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Truce
Merton wasn't in their room when Tommy got back from football practice. He didn't show up for dinner, either, and by the time Tommy finished eating and headed back to the barracks he was actually starting to worry. He knew it was pointless; Merton didn't care about him, and he wouldn't appreciate it if he knew Tommy was worried. But he wasn't here to see Tommy worrying, so what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.
Tommy had paced the length of the floor enough times the he was pretty sure he was starting to wear a groove in the linoleum, and he was actually considering heading out on a recon mission when the door opened. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of Merton, sulky and tired but with no visible bruises, and Tommy forced himself to relax. He'd told himself at least a thousand times in the past couple hours that he didn't care what happened to Merton, but now that he was standing in their room, Tommy had to admit it hadn't worked.
"Where have you been?"
He hadn't meant to blurt it out like that, panic and annoyance clear in his voice, and when Merton looked sharply at him he wished even harder that he'd just kept his mouth shut. Because he wasn't supposed to care; he was supposed to be pissed at Merton, but after everything that happened with the Eckerts it was hard not to picture Merton lying unconscious somewhere on campus. He knew at least a couple of guys on their own squad who'd love to finish the job Travis had started, and he was guessing a few of the guys on Tim Eckert's squad weren't too happy with Merton either.
"I was in the infirmary, if you must know," Merton answered, still watching Tommy like he was waiting for a lecture or something. And okay, maybe he deserved that after the way he acted the last time they saw each other, but it wasn't like Merton hadn't deserved it. Still, he'd been in the infirmary for a long time, and that meant something had to have happened.
"Are you okay?" Tommy asked, ignoring Merton's expression as he took a few steps closer. His fingers twitched with the need to touch, to look for new bruises on all that pale skin, or maybe just to make sure that Merton was still in one piece. And that was weird, but it wasn't even the first time Tommy had reacted that way, so he was starting to get used to it. "Did Roberts…?"
"I'm fine," Merton interrupted, stepping around Tommy to cross the room and sit on his bunk. He reached for his boots and tugged them of one by one, taking his time and if Tommy didn't know better he'd think Merton was avoiding looking at him.
"You missed dinner," Tommy said, clenching his fists at his sides so he wouldn't do something stupid like cross the room again and actually touch Merton this time. "The nurse wouldn't let you get away with that if there wasn't something wrong."
"Please, I've fooled better medical professionals than her," Merton answered, and this time he did look up. He was grinning, so either he was especially proud of himself or he'd forgotten that they were supposed to be mad at each other. "Though I'm starting to get the impression that she really doesn't like kids."
"Why do you think they hired her?" Tommy said, grinning back in spite of himself. He crossed the room to sit on Merton's bunk, careful not to sit close enough to come into contact with any part of the other boy. "If they hired somebody who actually liked kids, all the first graders would go crying to her every time they got homesick and they'd never learn to suck it up."
"You realize how sadistic that is, don't you?"
Tommy laughed, glancing over to find Merton watching him. And he was right; it was a little twisted, but they'd all been through it and they'd all survived. Most of them had gone to school here their entire lives, and if they hadn't learned right away to forget home and start thinking of their squad as their family, they never would have survived.
"It's not so bad. I mean, you get used to it pretty fast. At least if you're not constantly trying to find ways to get yourself thrown out."
"Yeah, well, it hasn't worked all that well so far."
Tommy didn't bother pointing out that this wasn't one of Merton's fancy prep schools. It would take a lot more than a few pranks for the headmaster to give up completely; if nothing else, he wouldn't want to admit that he'd finally met a student he couldn't break. Instead he leaned back on Merton's bed, hands on the mattress to support his weight while he watched Merton's profile. "How many schools have you gotten thrown out of, anyway?"
For a second he thought Merton wasn't going to answer, but then Tommy realized he was counting. "Five."
"Five?" Tommy repeated, caught between shock and the urge to laugh. "No wonder your parents sent you here."
"My father sent me here," Merton said. "My mother's dead."
And he hadn't been expecting that, but maybe he should have known. They'd studied enough psychology in their warfare classes that he should have read the signs; the attention ploys, the way Merton tried to annoy his father just for the hell of it. "Merton, I'm sorry…"
"Forget it," Merton said, talking over him and it was obvious he didn't want to have this conversation. "She died a long time ago. After that my father couldn't stand the sight of me, so he shipped me off to boarding school. I've been getting kicked out of the finest schools on the East Coast ever since."
"So did you really burn down the dorm at your last school?" Tommy asked, grateful for the change of subject. He wanted to know about Merton's mother and why his father didn't want him around, but he didn't want to ask.
"It was a controlled fire," Merton answered, finally looking over at Tommy again. "My friends and I borrowed a Bunsen burner from the Chemistry lab. It was all part of an experiment, but since it was my room I took the fall. Still, you'd think a school with an emphasis on the sciences would be more supportive of the spirit of discovery. See, we were trying out this experiment I found in a book at the public library…"
Tommy listened to Merton's convoluted explanation of the experiment, laughing every once in awhile at the way Merton described his friends and their theories on alchemy. And he wasn't sure what use a bunch of rich kids had for turning metal into gold, but he didn't really care. Merton was talking to him again, and all the weirdness of the past few days was gone just like that. If Merton remembered that they were supposed to be ignoring each other he'd obviously decided it didn't matter anymore, and Tommy sure as hell wasn't going to remind him.
~
"…and the thing is, I never even set anything on fire. I don't get why everyone thinks that."
Merton finally stopped talking, the memory of the experiment that had gotten him thrown out of his last school making him frown. The worst part was that none of it had even been his idea. He'd found the book, sure, but it had been David who suggested they actually try it. And they all knew it wouldn't work, but Merton had gone along with it anyway because David had asked him to.
And for his loyalty he'd gotten dumped via e-mail. He probably should have seen it coming, but that didn't make it hurt any less. He cleared his throat and stood up abruptly, reaching for his boots and crossing the room to stop in front of the closet.
"Anyway, that's how I ended up here. Lucky you."
"I'm not complaining," Tommy said, the words sending a shiver down Merton's spine and he was not turning around to see the look on Tommy's face. This was already weird enough, because a few hours ago he'd been pretty sure Tommy hated him, and now…now they were hanging out and talking like everything was fine. Like the past few days had never happened, and Merton wasn't sure if Tommy had forgotten or if he'd just gotten tired of having no one to talk to.
"Yeah, well, maybe you should be," Merton said, placing his boots carefully in the closet before he ventured a glance at Tommy. Tommy who was still sitting on his bed, legs sprawled in front of him and just sort of leaning and Merton was not going to start thinking about his roommate like that. He wasn't, because Tommy wasn't his type and even if he was there was no way he was interested. Not that it mattered either way, because the things Merton wasn't thinking could get them both killed in a place like this.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Tommy asked, leaning forward to prop his elbows on his knees and suddenly Merton could breathe again.
"Come on, Tommy, you have to know what your friends are saying about us," Merton answered, rolling his eyes because yeah, Tommy was cute, but nobody was that clueless. "They've been calling me a fag since the second they laid eyes on me, and the first time you took my side they turned on you too. Maybe they didn't really buy it at first, but people can only listen to rumors for so long before they start to believe them."
He could tell Tommy didn't want to believe him, but he wasn't stupid, and it was obvious even before he answered that he knew Merton was right. "I know what they've been saying."
And okay, it wasn't disbelief he'd seen in Tommy's eyes after all. "So why are you still being nice to me?"
"I told you, Merton, I saw those pictures of you and…" Tommy trailed off, clearing his throat and Merton was almost sure he was blushing. "The point is, I don't mind. I mean it doesn't matter to me. If the rest of the squad wants to be a bunch of jerks, that's their problem."
It was typical of Tommy to miss the entire point, but Merton had to admit it was nice to have someone on his side. Still, that didn't really help Tommy, and Merton was supposed to be trying this whole 'selfless' thing. "Yeah, but if you just ignored me, they'd probably start talking to you again. You don't have to stick up for me just because we're roommates."
Just because you feel sorry for me, he wanted to say, but he didn't. He knew what kind of reaction that would get him, and he was tired of fighting with Tommy. The truth was Tommy and Lori were the only friends he had left, and after the way he'd treated Lori, he wouldn't blame her if she stopped being his friend too.
"You still don't get it, do you?"
"What?" Merton asked, frowning at the grin on Tommy's face, because he was pretty sure Tommy was laughing at him.
"The whole point of being on a squadron is to watch each other's backs," Tommy answered. "Just because the rest of the guys seem to have forgotten that doesn't mean I'm going to. So yeah, I do have to."
And maybe that wasn't the answer Merton had been expecting to hear, but he told himself he wasn't disappointed. It was bad enough that Tommy wouldn't take the out Merton had just offered him; he wasn't going to make things even more complicated by wanting things he couldn't have. "Fine," he answered, not quite managing to swallow a smile. "But I think I should get points for thinking of somebody besides myself for a change."
"So we're keeping score now?" Tommy asked, but he was still grinning and Merton decided to take that as a good sign.
"I'm just saying that I'm not always selfish. I mean, there was that time I helped you with your math, too."
"Right," Tommy said, and now Merton was positive he was being laughed at, but he didn't really mind. "And I've got losing my squadron trying to keep you alive, losing all my friends…"
"Okay, okay, so you're still ahead," Merton interrupted, rolling his eyes when Tommy smirked at him. "See if I help you with your homework again."
"All right, I'm sorry," Tommy said as he watched Merton settle into his desk chair and pull his books toward him. "Now that you mention it, we've got that test coming up…"
Merton rolled his eyes and glanced over his shoulder at Tommy, still sprawled on his bed like he belonged there. And that was a dangerous thought, so Merton pushed it aside and reached for his math book. "Fine. But I want points for this too."
Tommy grinned and stood up, pulling his own desk chair over to Merton's side and leaning close to see the equations in the book. And it was still weird, especially now that Tommy had figured out that the rumors about him were true. But it was kind of nice, too, because at least there was one place in this godforsaken school where he didn't have to pretend.