Part of me just wants to hole up in my bed and just cry and cry and cry, but then this other part tells me that it won't matter and that he won't care. But then, this other part of me wants to just tell him that he's being a coward and he should do the daiylsis if it comes to it. I mean, they're not sure how bad everything is but it's best case scenerio, he loses a kidney, worst case... And they haven't even told him about the dialysis because he won't do it so they're only going to tell him about it if they need to....
yeah I know that has to be tough for you. I remember when my grandma was sick with cancer we knew it was pretty bad when she stopped doing the radiation and taking her medication but she was convinced it wasn't helping and I was so tempted to tell her that she needed it but I didn't. Hang in there jesse and you know you can always count on me. :)
And part of me feels like such an idiot for thinking of the worst possible scenerio. But then, if I didn't, how bad off guard would I be if it was too happen... Besides, I just feel like this is it... I hope and pray that it isn't but I just knew something was bad when my mom got the call, and I knew it was my grandpa. I just, I don't know.... part of me just wants to hide away and do nothing and just deal... But I know I can't. I have work and I have car payments and everything. I just wish you and Katee were here... I want someone to sit here and eat ice cream with me and tell me that it'll be okay. Have some Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants moment and just talk and hang out and remind me that it'll be okay. I wish you guys didn't live so far away.
Trust me, I've been there. I just want things to go away and wish I didn't have to deal with them. I also with I could be there with you letting you vent and cry and let it all out. It stinks that I'm here but once May hits I'll be back in KC for good. :)
Life would be so much better if I didn't have to deal with the bad stuff... :) I know that if you could, you would be ont he plane right now. And, honestly, that means the world to me right now.
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But then, this other part of me wants to just tell him that he's being a coward and he should do the daiylsis if it comes to it. I mean, they're not sure how bad everything is but it's best case scenerio, he loses a kidney, worst case... And they haven't even told him about the dialysis because he won't do it so they're only going to tell him about it if they need to....
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I just, I don't know.... part of me just wants to hide away and do nothing and just deal... But I know I can't. I have work and I have car payments and everything.
I just wish you and Katee were here... I want someone to sit here and eat ice cream with me and tell me that it'll be okay. Have some Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants moment and just talk and hang out and remind me that it'll be okay. I wish you guys didn't live so far away.
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I know that if you could, you would be ont he plane right now. And, honestly, that means the world to me right now.
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