You Know Nothing, Ethan Conrad.
(Today's play took place Friday, wherein my high school junior came home for lunch and began the process of making himself a sandwich.
)
Ethan. This sandwich is going to be awesome. Maybe the best sandwich, ever. I wonder who invented the sandwich? That guy was probably a boss.
Me. It was the Earl of Sandwich.
Ethan. What?
Me. The inventor of the sandwich. It was the Earl of Sandwich.
Ethan. Oh, okay, Mom. Are we just going to pull stuff out of our butts, now? If we are, I say the Earl of Hot Dogs invented hot dogs. (scoffs as only a 16 year-old can) And if Sandwich were a real place, (snorts) that's totally where I'd go for my next vacation.
Me. (Inserts "who invented the sandwich?" Into the almighty Google. Shows the offspring.)
Ethan. (Looks at Wikipedia) Ha! It was John Montagu!
Me. (Patiently) And his title?
Ethan. The... fourth Earl of Sandwich. How do you even know this stuff?
Because, child, I'm not as stupid as you seem to think I am.