The Road Less Traveled

[carrie_leigh]

My sweetheart, my smart, kind, sanguine, handsome firstborn son, Ethan Conrad, graduated from high school in May, and *gasp* DID NOT GO TO COLLEGE.

I had very mixed feelings about this, at the time.  I loved college.  I loved school!  I found out who I was during those four years and made a lot of decisions by myself, both good and bad, and grew up

Comments

[13oct]

I'm sending you and Nolan and Ethan hugs. I can completely understand where you are coming from. I admire you for standing up for Ethan and also for encouraging him to follow his dream.

I'm Indian. And in India, there is a very strong emphasis on education to put in mildly. My mother is a doctor and my father has a masters degree as well. My sister and I were not considered to be educated till we finished our masters degrees. I have two masters degrees, my sister has two in related fields and so on.

Did I want to study so much? No. My parents were and are amazingly supportive (especially when I kept switching fields!) and understanding. My second masters was completely my choice btw! It's just that not studying was never an option. Despite having zero regrets, I can't help but wonder if I would have spent so much time in college studying if I was given an option like Ethan.

[jandjsalmon]

I relate greatly to the part about how other people react. For us - it's not University - it's a mission. It's something that is ingrained in our boys from toddlerhood that at 18 they serve a mission... and Scott isn't sure he wants to go. And I'm not only a mess about it on a personal level (because I shouldn't feel like I've failed as a mother but I do) - but also... everyone is going to wonder and be tactless and ask similar questions. "Was he not worthy?" He is. "Did you not have the money?" We do. "Is he going to leave the church?" No. But if he does, it's his choice.

This raising kids thing, I tell you what. I appreciate what you said about the street corner. We just need to make sure they grow up to be useful members of society - voting and paying taxes and being decent to other people. It's sometimes hard to keep that in perspective. Thank you for that, Carrie.

[mugglechump]

My nephew Pike graduated this year and has gone to work full time at a company where he’s learning a trade. He’s putting away 20% of his income, paying rent, and being really responsible while not getting into tremendous debt he doesn’t need or want.

My son-in-law started working as an auto tech in high school. Since then, he’s gotten a ton of certifications and promotions. Last year he and his friend started a trucking company in addition to his regular job. He supports Mer and their two girls, and they have a nice house they built on five acres. All without college, and all before he was 30. (He’ll be 30 this month.)

College isn’t for everyone, and it’s not a matter of settling for something else. Some people thrive in skilled labor, and make great salaries. I don’t find it at all surprising that you’ve raised a young man who is confident enough to know what he wants, and responsible enough to see it through. God bless him.