Ten's mom, when they had puppies ready for new homes, would take the puppies to a PetSmart and put them in a box on the corner, near the drive. She very rarely had any pets left over. Maybe if you took your kids to Toys-R-Us and put the sign around their neck, someone would take them home.
I can almost sympathize. Ten knows better than to show me anything she's written unless she wants it betaed. I'm fortunate, though, that she does accept beta corrections.
I could give you many reasons that I wanted to have a child. All of the... well, most of them good. But I have a better reason for you not to: you don't want to.
I was reading a Harry/Draco mpreg earlier today, and it's actually well-written, but when I asked this, Harry had been thinking about having his own family, and none of the reasons he had seemed like good ones.
But then I thought, "What the hell kind of reason would be considered a good reason? What's the scale?" It seems to me, pretty much any reason a person could come up with, would be a selfish reason. So, really, what's the scale? And just because a reason is selfish, does that necessarily make it a bad reason? Does it matter if your reason is because you're lonely, you want someone to love who loves you back, you need to carry on your family name... etc... If you have the ability to be a good parent, then doesn't that mean that any of your selfish reasons are just as good as, "Oops, I spread my legs and now I'm knocked up!"
Having kids is the ultimate paradox in that it is the most selfish and selfless thing you can do. So I think the selfish reasons are entirely reasonable... unless the selfish reasons are centered around "I'm bored" or "I want someone who will love me" in which case you will probably fail at parenting.
The problem I see with that statement is, that those reasons are no better or worse than any other reason. You can start off with one of those reasons, but then you actually get the kid, and doesn't that usually change everything? I think that the success or failure of a parent has everything to do with who they are as a person, and nothing to do with their reasons. For instance, there's a strong likelihood that, if I had been knocked up accidently, I'd still have been a good mother. Probably I wouldn't be the kind of mother that other people think I should have been, but that's not a problem, because I've seen too many other people who would seem to have every advantage when it comes to parenting, but somehow still can't manage to parent for shit.
I think people's reasons fall to dust the moment reality sets in.
To have someone to pay the bill for your room in the old folks home when you're so old and smelly that no one wants you at their house anymore, yet feel too guilty to put you out on the street
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Princess asked me to help her learn how to write stories. So I started on the first sentence (and I'm kind...she's 8).
Yeah, we've now been through throwing her pencil at me, the screaming, "I said read it, not correct it," "no, you said teach me."
Yeah, this is why wealthy people have Nannies...so they don't have to listen to this BS and talk themselves out of strangling their own...
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Maybe if you took your kids to Toys-R-Us and put the sign around their neck, someone would take them home.
I can almost sympathize. Ten knows better than to show me anything she's written unless she wants it betaed. I'm fortunate, though, that she does accept beta corrections.
This is why I'm not a parent.
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Why?
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But then I thought, "What the hell kind of reason would be considered a good reason? What's the scale?" It seems to me, pretty much any reason a person could come up with, would be a selfish reason. So, really, what's the scale? And just because a reason is selfish, does that necessarily make it a bad reason? Does it matter if your reason is because you're lonely, you want someone to love who loves you back, you need to carry on your family name... etc... If you have the ability to be a good parent, then doesn't that mean that any of your selfish reasons are just as good as, "Oops, I spread my legs and now I'm knocked up!"
So, I wondered.
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I think that the success or failure of a parent has everything to do with who they are as a person, and nothing to do with their reasons.
For instance, there's a strong likelihood that, if I had been knocked up accidently, I'd still have been a good mother. Probably I wouldn't be the kind of mother that other people think I should have been, but that's not a problem, because I've seen too many other people who would seem to have every advantage when it comes to parenting, but somehow still can't manage to parent for shit.
I think people's reasons fall to dust the moment reality sets in.
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