Definitions of Destiny: Chapter 22
Title: Definitions of Destiny
Author: Caryn B
Fandom: Star Wars (film canon only - see notes)
Timeline: 6 months after RotJ
Pairing: Luke/Han, slash
Rating: NC-17 overall; this chapter PG-13
Warnings: None
The list of chapters is here
Chapter 22
It was an effort to stop his mind from wandering. Even envisaging Yoda's disapproval didn't have the focusing effect it should have done. Never his mind on where he was. What he was doing...
Years ago, Luke had known that an alternative side to him existed, deep inside. He'd stamped it down, fearful of ridicule and rejection from his more sophisticated and experienced friends. But when he'd discovered the truth of who he was it was his earlier self he'd tried to subdue. He'd trained himself to repress his impatient and reckless temperament, over which Yoda had once censured him.
Neither approach had been right, but it had taken the dramatic circumstances of the past two days for him to understand that. It was hard to remember a time when he'd not been at war with himself, but now, finally, the contradictory elements within his nature had reached some sort of reconciliation.
Que-raik's sudden question succeeded where Yoda's imaginary reproach had failed, and brought Luke's mind back to the proceedings in hand.
"Would you be in agreement to taking Sheni-dain and two of her technicians back to Arudin?"
The Administrator had addressed the query to both Luke and Danu. The Senator glanced at Luke before answering. "I presume the cruiser has the capacity for additional passengers?"
Luke nodded. "It's large enough, but the supplies on board might not be suitable." He looked at Que-raik. "We've space for nutrient tanks if you've got portable ones."
"It's thoughtful of you to consider our needs Master Skywalker, but our bodies can store sufficient food to sustain us for several days. Sheni-dain and her companions will require only water for use in their masks. On Arudin itself, I'm sure there will be appropriate facilities."
"Yes," Luke agreed. "But won't they feel stranded there without their own ship?"
"You've probably realized that we're not travelers at heart. We own few ships here on Polis Massa, and most of those who join us don't plan on leaving. Hence we have even fewer pilots. I was hoping that our team could return in due course aboard an Alliance vessel and bring some of your medical droids back with them to study our techniques. Providing your leadership accepts the agreement of course."
"There'll always be someone available to fly them back, but it might not be me. Only because I never know what's going to come up."
Que-raik bowed his head. "Of course. Although many of us are hoping you'll pay us a second visit in the future. Or perhaps I should say a third visit."
Luke smiled. There had seemed no reason to keep the evidence of his birth hidden, and it would have raised suspicions if he'd requested that Sheni-dain say nothing of the discovery. It would be impossible for anyone to unearth the wider implications without input from Luke or any of the few people who knew the truth. "I'm sure I'll be coming back," he said. And the next time he'd be bringing Leia, but that was another matter that had to remain secret. However they achieved it, it was essential that Leia see the carvings for herself in order to comprehend their meaning.
"Good. Speaking for myself, I feel we've gone as far as we can in our talks. Now I imagine you would both like a chance to relax before we get together again for the meal. I apologize for how little time that gives you - the meeting ran on for longer than I anticipated. I assume you'll want to leave tomorrow rather than later tonight?"
"Those back on Arudin will be keen to hear news of our visit, but it's not necessary to rush off," Danu replied. "I feel our trip here has been a huge success. The Alliance will be glad to call friends those who've helped us out in the past."
"The reverse is also true. We wish to mend links with those who once played a part in our lives. Sending a team to Arudin is a small step in opening up our horizons. Lately, the general consensus has been that we must begin to recognize ourselves as members of a wider galaxy."
Danu nodded. "There was a time when mixing with the rest of the galaxy could've meant losing freedoms under the Empire. Thankfully, those days are over."
With the meeting concluded, and after an extended round of polite leave-taking, Luke and Danu made their exit from the Administrator's rooms.
Danu gave a small sigh, tinged with something that was very close to relief. "Official-speak has its uses, but can be very draining."
"At least you can do it," Luke said. "I'd be hopeless by myself."
"That I doubt. What you lack in jargon you make up for in other ways. On the surface it was easy to reach the agreement, but they're a lot more nervous about it than they make out. Having you here has made all the difference. And I'm not talking about the medical research."
"I think that helped though." Luke paused, hoping to guide the conversation back to the point they'd reached the day before. "I realize how much they admired the Jedi, but things have changed now. If they're hoping for a repeat of the past it's not going to happen."
Danu looked at him with a degree of speculation. "You sound very decided. When we spoke before you were unsure how you wanted to proceed."
"I've been making everything too complicated. Trying to look at every possible angle and direction, when really it's very simple. It's just taken me a long time to work it out."
"It's been six months since the Emperor's death. That's hardly a long time, even if it feels like it. And something tells me you'd probably worked it out before we came here."
Luke gave a soft laugh. "Maybe. I think I'm just very good at talking myself into a corner. Coming here has made a big difference though. I realize now how important it is to trust myself."
"Then I'm glad you agreed to come. But I feel I've left you stranded. Dropping cryptic remarks and not following them through must have been frustrating for you, especially as I'm sure you thought I might have some genuine information."
Luke smiled at him. "I didn't know what to think, but there hasn't been a chance to talk since then anyway. It's not your fault we've been so busy."
"I feel I've been secretive all the same. I should've worked harder to find the time."
"I've learned quite a bit since then, but I'd still like to know what you heard about the Prophecy."
"Are you heading back to your room?" Danu asked.
"Yes, I need to shower and change before the meal."
"We can talk on the way then, although I suspect you know more than me by now."
They stopped by one of the repulsorcar halts. "I hoped you might be able to tell me more about the Senator from Naboo as well," Luke said. "I wondered if you thought there was a connection."
"A connection?"
"Between her and Polis Massa."
"Ah." Danu's brow creased in a small frown. "I take it you've had no further luck in acquiring details of your birth."
"Not if you mean facts. All that's left is the cell signature file. They erased everything else. Sheni-dain asked the midwife droids too, but I guess their memories would've been the first things wiped."
"That stands to reason. Protecting you and Leia must have been the main objective."
"Yes. There have been other things I've found out. Besides facts."
"Oh?"
"I visited the birthing unit."
Danu turned his gaze more fully on Luke. "The way you said that suggests it had some significance."
"It did. It confirmed Sheni-dain was right, though that wasn't the most important thing."
Danu raised his eyebrows, but didn't speak. Luke continued, wanting to give only the minimum of detail for now. Han was the person he wanted to share this with the most, but he felt some need to confide in the Senator. It had to do with the empathy Danu had shown towards his earlier uncertainty, and the strong sense that he'd found in Danu someone with a genuine appreciation for what it meant to be a Jedi.
"I understand what you were saying when you spoke about the Jedi Code," he continued. "By making it so restrictive they created other dangers, which then had to be controlled. When I went to the birthing room, I found out a small part of what was going on in my father's mind. He was struggling to deal with the repercussions of breaking the Code, and there was no-one in the Order he could turn to for help. At least, that's how he saw it."
"You're telling me you sensed that through the Force?"
"Yes, but through my mother's mind. That's how I know for sure Leia and I were born here - because I found that connection to her. What I'm still trying to figure out is why we ended up here. That's why I'm wondering if you knew something more. I know you were close to some of the Jedi in the past. Maybe you've remembered something?"
"I won't be of much help to you I'm afraid. I did have friends inside the Order, but my contacts were mainly professional ones. Let me tell you how that came about."
Danu fell silent for a moment as the repulsorcar stopped beside the doors leading to the mine complex. The transport filled up with miners, the weariness that slowed their steps shifting to relief as they sank down onto the bench seats.
Danu continued his explanation. "In the years I served as Senator for Kuat I spent much of my time on Coruscant smoothing out trade deals between the Senate and the Kuati shipyards. I had many dealings with the Jedi Council too. They regularly used the Kuat Drive Yards to undertake specific modifications to their starfighters." Danu rubbed a hand across his jaw, his voice developing a caustic edge. "Undoubtedly, the war was a major boost to the Kuati economy."
Luke gave him rueful smile. "You got into trouble for your stance against the shipyards didn't you?"
"Ultimately it cost me my job and landed me twenty years on Belinar. I count myself among the lucky ones. Other colleagues of mine were not so fortunate."
"Kuat's thriving on unrest, even now," Luke noted.
"The whole world is in thrall to the shipyards. Without some viable alternative employment it's difficult to see how things can change."
"I know, and the Imperial occupation is pushing production even further. We've had no requests for help, but even if we had I doubt the governors would agree to talks."
"That's for sure. Bigger profit margins come from fighting. It's in their interests to prolong division in the galaxy. It was the reason I became involved with the Jedi in the first place. My abhorrence for warfare and the Jedi's increasing uneasiness over the Chancellor's emergency powers drew us together."
"Mon Mothma told me how Palpatine worked the situation to his advantage. Was that when the Jedi started to realize what he was up to?" Luke asked.
"Some of them had realized it long before. Others never believed it. Some thought Palpatine was little more than a power-hungry politician. At the height of the Clone Wars I noticed rifts opening up within the Order. Talk had started about a much darker threat hanging over the galaxy. Something that went beyond the war."
"The Sith?"
Danu nodded. "Outside the Order the subject was only mentioned in veiled terms, but I understood it to mean the Sith. Some of the Jedi felt the Council wasn't doing enough to investigate that possibility. That the Jedi leaders were simply waiting, in the belief that they had their answer already."
"Because of the Prophecy?"
"Yes. Remember though, I was an outsider, despite my sympathies. Nobody said anything explicit to me. I drew my conclusions from inference and probability. They did discuss the Prophecy openly however. I knew it referred to a Chosen One who would destroy the Sith and thus return balance to the Force. They didn't discuss to whom the Prophecy referred, although I understood that the Jedi had one amongst them who they believed filled that role. I admit that the concept fascinated me, as did anything that played a part in Jedi philosophy."
"So you never heard any names mentioned?"
"For the Chosen One - no. But I did hear mention of Polis Massa." Danu smiled at Luke, apology heavy in his eyes. "I knew you'd guessed that I'd heard of the place before."
"I did wonder," Luke admitted.
"I only heard the name in passing. And maybe I should've paid more attention, but at the time I didn't understand the significance of what I was hearing. I was present during a disagreement between two members of the Order. I'd gone there with the intention of offloading my grievances against the Kuati aristocracy. Whilst I was waiting in the anteroom of the Council Chamber two Jedi arrived, presumably also heading for a meeting with the Council. They were in the midst of a heated discussion and paid no attention to me. I caught on straight away that they were talking about the Prophecy."
Danu shifted in his seat and Luke cast a glance outside. The repulsorcar was now in the final loop of the corridor that led to the guest rooms.
"One of the Jedi was refusing to accept that there was any truth to it, but the other refuted that," Danu continued. "She mentioned that Master Kenobi had seen the truth of it for himself when he'd gone to Polis Massa all those years ago."
The information gave Luke a small jolt inside. So Ben had been to the asteroid before his and Leia's births. It felt like another piece of the puzzle was about to fall into place. "D'you know when he went?" he asked.
Danu shook his head. "No, but I suspect it was some years before my appointment as Senator. I heard just one more thing before the two of them disappeared through the Chamber doors. The female Jedi asked her companion a question. I can't recall her exact words, but it was something along the lines of 'why do you think he continued to train him?'"
Luke was silent for a few moments, remembering Tiriss-elain's comments in the caves. I had a visitor, over thirty-five years or so back. A Jedi... he was trying to honor a promise he'd made...
"He was keeping true to a promise," Luke said at last. "But I'm sure he believed in it too at first."
"They were talking about Obi-Wan Kenobi's apprentice weren't they? Your father."
"I think so. Anakin Skywalker was the Chosen One."
Danu nodded slowly. "So they were right to believe. My own feelings about it haven't been clear. After the burning of the Jedi Temple I waited for events to turn back around, as I was sure they would. They didn't, and the situation grew worse. Bail told me the Jedi had been defeated. He grieved for them, as did I. In my mind, the Prophecy became merely a story with no basis in reality. But then, many years later, I learned of you and I heard that you'd killed the Emperor and Darth Vader."
"I expect more people believe that than know the truth," Luke said.
"Many prefer an altered version of the truth in any case," Danu said dryly. "You can imagine my thoughts. Here was a Jedi who'd destroyed the last of the Sith. I began to wonder about the Prophecy once more. Out there on Belinar, I wondered if you were the Chosen One, and the Jedi had got it wrong."
"But when you found out it was Darth Vader who killed the Emperor that must've ruined your theory."
Danu gave a quiet laugh, mirroring Luke's amusement. "It did, to be honest. But then Mon Mothma started asking me about Polis Massa, and all my fascination for the legend started up again. It seemed like there was no way for me to avoid it. And she wanted you to accompany me there."
"Why though? I know the visit's all about Jedi links and the medical science agreement. But I thought she had another reason."
"It was because I once told her something Bail had said to me."
The admission surprised Luke. He'd been expecting a further reference to Obi-Wan. "What was it?"
Danu held Luke's gaze steadily. "It concerned a conversation that happened just after the funeral of Senator Amidala. Bail and I met to discuss how we were going to handle the political fall-out from the declaration of the Empire. Bail was calm on the outside, but he was a mass of emotion inside. I could see it all, just barely restrained. I discovered so many things my head was reeling. He talked about Palpatine and how he'd plotted his rise to power. And he talked about the Jedi and how they believed they'd failed. He mentioned Obi-Wan, and for some reason the Prophecy sprung to my mind. I told him how I'd understood that the Jedi had pinned their hopes on the Prophecy, but it appeared nothing had come of it."
The repulsorcar slowed and hovered at the junction linking the guest suites with the main settlement. Luke and the Senator alighted and stood for a moment, waiting for the transport to draw away.
"I remember Bail giving me a strange look, but he didn't question me then," Danu continued. "I kept on, curious to know if Master Kenobi had spoken to Bail about it. I told him I'd heard that a place called Polis Massa had once provided convincing evidence that the legend had a basis in truth. The expression on Bail's face when I said the name was one of utter shock. He stared at me for a long time before asking me how I knew of it."
They were the only occupants of the corridor and Danu's voice sounded unnaturally loud after the drone of the repulsorcar. Even the tiny fragments of asteroids that spattered intermittently against the insulated transparisteel wall made no dent in the silence. They walked along slowly.
"I told him about the fragments of conversation that I'd heard and I'm certain I saw relief in his face that my knowledge was so scanty. Then he asked me to keep the information to myself and never to mention the name of Polis Massa to anyone outside our closed little community of sympathizers."
"But he didn't say why?" Luke asked.
"No. He said something very odd instead. That some time in the future there could be changes and if there were, that I should remember this conversation and recall recent events. At the time I had no idea what he meant, but it left me with an abiding curiosity over Polis Massa. I never spoke of it to anyone but Mon Mothma, and only then because she'd expressed deep regret for excluding the Jedi from our alliance. She knew you were facing issues over your role as a Jedi. Both she and I were of the opinion that Polis Massa may hold some sort of answer for you."
"And you were both right." Luke shook his head, still bemused by the chain of coincidences that had brought him back to the asteroid. He considered what Bail Organa had said to Danu. "Bail told you to recall recent events?" he asked. "Surely he knew you'd never forget them?"
"The more I thought about it, the more I took it to mean that some day, when we'd restored freedom to the galaxy and rid it of Palpatine, then we'd have the chance to honor those who'd died. We couldn't do it publicly back then. Showing support for either murdered Jedi or fellow senators convicted of treason would've led to our own arrest."
Luke nodded. "It sounds like he may have meant that."
"I'm not so sure any more. I think he was trying to hint at something more specific without revealing anything incriminating." Danu leveled a long look at Luke. "I wonder now if he was referring to Padmé Amidala's death."
***
Luke reflected that this evening's meal was a lot less formal than the previous one. Now that the negotiating side to their visit was over there was no need to step carefully for fear of jeopardizing the agreement. Also, both he and Senator Danu were now more familiar with the Polis Massan lifestyle than they'd been on arrival.
Conversation over meals was clearly a rare thing here. Luke suspected that social dining of this sort only took place on specific occasions such as when visitors stayed, and even then there was a notable quietness about them. It was more practical that way. The Polis Massans obtained their nutrients though osmosis and had devised a table-top device that enabled them to join in with those who consumed food in other ways. Within the privacy of their own quarters, Luke knew that they used full-size submersion tanks. He doubted that the table-top osmosis masks did much more than provide a token intake of nutrients - they were a gesture more than anything else.
Every so often, the Polis Massans would dip their faces into their masks and remain there for several minutes. It was the cue for their human guests to turn their attention to their own plates of food. During these intervals, Luke was aware of Han watching him, his expression full of warm appraisal. Every so often, Luke smiled back at him, catching his eyes for only the shortest of moments. It would've been too easy to allow those small intimate glances to become something else. To lose himself in Han's encompassing gaze to the exclusion of all others there. But Luke was conscious of the presence of Senator Danu and the need to remain an active participant in the function. He hoped to have plenty of time with Han later, but it felt like all the time in the world wouldn't be enough to address the questions they both had for each other.
Luke and the Senator had reached a tacit agreement early on, that talking during the Polis Massans' immersion in their masks didn't feel right. Nobody disapproved, but it would've seemed impolite. As though they were having an exclusive conversation while their hosts were unable to join in.
Luke used the periods of silence to think. He wanted to share his discoveries with Leia and found himself missing their time together with a pang of regret. Not so strange really, when he considered why he should feel that way. The dynamics of friendship between himself, Han and Leia had changed, and there was no going back. And although he couldn't imagine a future without the closeness he'd developed with Leia, it was inevitable that the altered circumstances would affect it, at least at first. Deep down, he knew Leia would no more want a division between any of them than Luke did. It was just the awkwardness of the situation. Going up to their sanctuary on the hill wouldn't be the same now. The last time the three of them had climbed there together, Leia had been with Han.
But despite the difficulties they needed to face, for Luke the future beckoned with new promise. Where once it had seemed cloudy and uncertain, now it was as bright and clear as sunlight on snow. Unable to help himself, he let his eyes fall back on Han, absorbing the happiness he could see there and knowing that it stemmed from the very same contentment he felt within himself.
Luke had never been a believer in the power of destiny over free will. His gut instincts had guided him all his life and he'd continuously rebelled against those who'd tried to dictate his future to him. But he hadn't always known the importance of trusting his instincts. In some ways, Ben and Yoda had been the same, exhorting him to rely on his feelings, whilst at the same time instructing him how to proceed in ways that directly contradicted those feelings. It was only at the end that Yoda had seemed to see it. No more training do you require. Already know you that which you need, he'd said. As if he'd finally accepted that Luke's feelings were enough to guide him in his life ahead. Maybe Luke should've listened to those words more carefully, but events had taken over and the doubts, fuelled by the Emperor even after his death, had set in.
Now, after all that he'd learned, it was easy to see where his thinking had gone wrong. But would he have believed in himself more strongly if Yoda and Ben had told him all there was to know? Wasn't it more the point that he'd had to find it out for himself? Even though he'd discovered so much, he still had questions, most of them certain to remain unanswered. Was it by design that Ben had brought his mother to Polis Massa, or was it down to some strange twist of fate? It made him wonder how accidental the omission of his cell signature was from the deletion program that had taken place after the birth. Was Leia's cell signature also here, buried deep in the system?
He knew that Ben had been present at his birth. And Yoda too. When he'd succumbed to the visions in the birthing chamber he'd felt those same pinpricks of familiarity he'd experienced when Leia had shared her memory. An obvious source had been the presence of Leia herself, but he'd been able to isolate his twin from his awareness of others. He'd felt something similar when he'd landed on Dagobah for the first time. Knowledge of something - or someone - known to him. He'd been with Yoda long before the Jedi master had startled him in the swamps. Not only during his birth, but also throughout his youth when Yoda had studied him through the Force. The clash of images that had swept over him in the medcenter had also shown him Ben, and although he'd always known Ben had been involved in his birth, he hadn't realized how active his role had been. But now he did. He also understood just how wrong Ben had been that day-
The soft touch to his shoulder interrupted his train of thought and he shifted over to allow the Polis Massan behind him to take away his plate. It was the signal to move from the table and into an adjoining room. Here, they were secluded from the endless stream of spinning asteroids by broad shutters, and the softer lighting was in contrast to the harsher illumination of the dining area.
It was now that conversation began. And it coincided with Han getting his wish at last. Que-raik produced a tall stone bottle from a wooden chest. He wiped away a fine coating of dust, revealing a faded and aged label. Held it aloft for his guests to see.
"This was a gift from Coruscant some years ago. We've never had cause to use it before now, but I think today warrants a celebration."
Han gave a low whistle. "Vintage Alderaanian brandy. That's gotta be at least 200 years old."
Que-raik nodded. "A thank you from a visiting ship. My predecessor received it quarter of a century back. Our bodies cannot process spirits such as this, but it was a generous gesture nevertheless."
"Almost a crime to drink it," Han remarked.
"But as big a crime to leave it untouched," Giddean Danu added.
Han grinned at the Senator. "That's why I said 'almost'."
Que-raik unsealed the brandy, letting the aroma of malted grain seep into the room. He poured it slowly into three stemmed goblets and handed them around. The liquor was a deep, burnt amber in color, thick and heavy in consistency. But its fragrance was unexpectedly light. It reminded Luke of the scent of Leia, bringing to mind fresh air and mountains and snow and high-altitude herbs. Hers was the scent of Alderaan, but he'd never made the connection before now. The realization gave him a sharp stab of dismay. It was a fragrance now obtainable only through bottles and speculative interpretation - the original lost forever, along with his chance of discovering a key part of Leia's past.
He took the heavy glass with a smile of thanks, wondering if he gave off subtle intimations of his homeworld to those around him. He thought of the aromatic scent of the soap he washed with and the spicy food he preferred. Desert spices. The homesickness was sharp and unavoidable, but not unfamiliar. It often caught him when he was least expecting it, leaving him with memories of Aunt Beru's comforting hugs, or the heaviness of Uncle Owen's hand on his shoulder. Feeling it here was inevitable. His past and Polis Massa were inextricably linked, and now every memory of Tatooine was going to lead back here.
He looked across at the others, noticing Han's quizzical glance. Luke shook his head, dismissing his abstraction as inconsequential. It wasn't, of course, but he preferred to reserve explanation for the private time with Han that had to come soon.
He couldn't say for sure that he understood everything he'd seen here. For one thing, it was impossible to untangle his own interpretation of his findings from one that portrayed his destiny as predetermined. It didn't matter, because he did understand the meaning of the balance the carvings had predicted. And he needed to explain that to Han, because although he was certain Han had seen why Luke and Leia symbolized change, Luke didn't think he'd realized exactly what that meant to Luke.
The Emperor's words struck him once more - only now, at the end, do you understand. But it seemed to Luke that the Emperor himself had never really understood. Had Palpatine ever visited here, or had the legend of the Chosen One reached him in the traditional manner of ancient mythology? A story handed down through successions of Sith Masters and Apprentices, each recitation adding new twists and turns and cementing the belief in its existence.
You, like your father, are now mine. Palpatine's declaration could have had another level of meaning. One that implied that the Emperor had not only known of the Prophecy, but that he'd tried to possess it too. That he'd attempted to avert it by taking control of it. First, by the manipulation and imprisonment of his father's mind, and then by his efforts to coerce Luke into following in Vader's steps.
The Sith would've had no interest in balance. Such a concept went against their doctrine. To them, the Prophecy spelt their end, yet it was their own teachings that had given it new power. The visions of the Eellayin gave the Prophecy conviction, and that was enough to set events in motion. With his belief in the power of destiny and his attempts to dictate the unfolding future, the Emperor had brought about the very actions he'd been trying to thwart.
"General Solo, you haven't been to see my laboratories yet." Sheni-dain had made her way over to Han. Pulled from his thoughts for a second time, Luke watched Han's efforts to think of a way out of her accusation with growing amusement.
"Er, tomorrow?" Han said, having failed to find a better answer. "Although you're gonna be busy gettin' ready to leave." He hid the hopeful undertones well.
"I'm never too busy to show off my work. I'll expect you tomorrow morning then."
"Right."
"Although I suppose most of our technology will be nothing new to you. As a General with the Alliance you must be involved in all your medical advances."
"Not really. I tend to keep outta the way of medical droids."
"But you're interested?" Sheni-dain persisted.
"Well... sure. When I can understand it. Flying a ship's more my thing."
Luke grinned at him from across the room. The Polis Massan cloning technology and genetic research was central to their existence on the asteroid. Everyone was involved in it in some way and lack of understanding wouldn't be an obstacle.
"Will you be accompanying us to Arudin?" the scientist asked.
Han nodded. "But I'll get there before you. My ship's the Millennium Falcon."
"Oh?"
"You've never heard of her?"
"Should I have?"
The expression on Han's face was priceless and Luke bent down over his glass to disguise his laughter. Han would no doubt accuse him of setting the conversation up, but it really was just coincidence. Only this time Han stayed quiet, probably realizing that his Kessel Run story had about as much chance of impressing Sheni-dain as it had Obi-Wan.
When he looked up Han aimed a glare at him and Luke moved over to join them. "I thought Tiriss-elain might've come to the meal," he said to Sheni-dain.
"She was planning to, but I believe she's resting instead. She came to see me earlier on - told me she'd met you both today."
"Yes. I hope the visit to the caves didn't tire her out too much."
"She's stronger than she looks. I think she just wanted some time to herself. She said she had some things to think through."
"I can imagine," Han put in, earning a puzzled glance from Sheni-dain.
"Meeting Luke, I meant," Han explained, adopting a tone of mild innocence. "That's gonna give anyone pause for thought."
"Oh?" Sheni-dain said. "Perhaps it was meeting you that did it." She spied Perek-tain on the other side of the room. "Would you excuse me? I'd like to arrange to take some samples with me to Arudin."
"Sure," Han said. "I wouldn't wanna mess with her," he added, after the scientist had moved away.
"You did ask for it," Luke grinned.
"I only give as good as I get. Makes you wonder what kinda samples she's collecting."
"I'm sure she'll tell you if you ask her."
"Some other time. How long have we gotta stay here makin' small talk?"
Luke glanced around at the assembled group. "No idea. I shouldn't think it'll go on much longer though."
It just showed how wrong he could be when, two hours later, the gathering finally broke up. Han had proved that he really could give as good as he got when he was singled out as the main source of alternative information on the galaxy. The Eellayin may have lived an austere and closeted lifestyle, but if the interest in Han's stories was anything to go by, it looked as though the Polis Massans didn't intend to emulate their supposed ancestors indefinitely.
When Han escaped from the flood of questions, he sought Luke out, a thoughtful look on his face. "Are you gonna show me this birthing center then?"
"You want to go there?" Luke asked, surprised.
"If there was a chance to go to Corellia to see where I was born, would you wanna go?"
"Well, yes - I guess so."
"So there's your answer."
***
This time the visit was legitimate. Luke had asked Que-raik if anyone minded him seeing the medical center where he'd been born, and Que-raik had told him to go ahead. Luke's request had surprised the Administrator - not because Luke wanted to see the place for himself, but because Luke had felt it necessary to ask. Luke had refrained from mentioning that he'd been there already, and waited whilst Que-raik gave him detailed directions to the corridor in question.
"I can't tell you which birthing room is the correct one," Que-raik had said, his tone apologetic. "With no records remaining we've no way of knowing."
Luke had smiled and told him it didn't matter. He just wanted to see the complex.
Now, as they made their way to the birthing room Luke considered how the corridor gave off an indefinable sense of peace. The whole atmosphere seemed imbued with it, and it was only partly down to the soft-focus lighting and sound-minimizing surfaces. Luke thought it had something to do with the way he could sense the eternal cycle of life through the Force. Here, where new life was just beginning, the benign power of the Force was at its strongest. In the background, and just audible, were the soft mewling sounds of newborn infants.
When Han heard them he turned to Luke with a peculiar expression. "I dunno why - but it feels like we're walkin' back in time."
"In some ways I guess we are," Luke said. Back into his past at any rate.
They reached the chamber with its large viewing window. Luke walked up to it and gazed inside. Han joined him, staring at the inactive displays, silent monitors and central table.
"Thanks for coming here," Luke said, breaking the long moment of silence. He wasn't referring just to the birthing center, but Han would know that anyway.
"I dunno what I expected," Han admitted. "Just knew I had to see you. I had to explain, y'know... about the hangar."
"You don't need to explain."
"Yeah, well I'm good at landing people in it. One of the things I do best."
Luke could feel Han's eyes on him and he turned to look at him. "I'm glad you did it. I know what you meant by it."
"Really?"
"Sometimes it's better to come right out with the truth instead of trying to shield everyone from it."
"It's not just Leia 'n a few Alliance pilots though, is it? Most of the galaxy's gonna know by now."
"I know, but that kind of gossip doesn't matter. It's how we feel about it. And how Leia feels about it."
"I dunno how Leia feels about it. She's kinda wound up. All the stuff you've been sayin' - she's sayin' it now."
"It's one thing being told what getting angry can do, but it's another thing to feel it happen. It's hard to get to grips with it."
"Yeah, I get that. But she's sayin' stuff about you as well. About you trying to decide what to do. She thinks everything's unbalanced all of a sudden."
"Is that what she said?"
"Yeah. Maybe I'm missing somethin', but I don't get how you just thinking about the future is gonna throw the Force outta balance."
Luke shook his head. "It isn't. I think what she's sensing is how wrong it would feel to set things back to how they were. She's listening to her feelings and they're telling her something."
"That's what I wondered. She's been tryin' to imagine what it'd be like to live like the Jedi of the past, but it doesn't feel right to her. She's gotta trust her feelings, right?"
"It's the most important thing Yoda taught me, but it's also the thing that's given me the most trouble."
"You're only seein' part of it," Han objected. "You trusted your feelings when you flew to Cloud City, and when you went off to look for Vader on Endor. All along it's been about that. Just 'cause you questioned yourself doesn't mean you got it wrong. Questioning's a good thing if you ask me."
Nothing more will I teach you today. Clear your mind of questions... "I think the Jedi were taught not to question."
"So maybe they were wrong. Askin' questions ain't the same thing as ignoring your feelings."
"You're right, it isn't," Luke smiled. He fell silent for a moment. Turned his head back to look into the birthing room.
"Are you going inside?" Han asked.
"No. I think I've discovered all I can from here. When Leia comes I might go in again."
"You're gonna bring her here?"
Luke glanced again at Han. "Yes. The memory she shared with me came from here. Right in this room. The woman she saw was our mother. I know that for certain now."
"Even though you don't know who she was."
"No - I don't know that. Not yet. But I know she died here, and I know why she died."
"D'you wanna talk about it?"
Luke studied the room, his eyes focusing on the birthing table. In his mind he saw echoes of Leia's memory, intermingled with the faces from his own vision. He saw his mother, her face a mask of pain but her spirit still full of determination. And Obi-Wan, full of distress and confusion and misunderstanding.
"Obi-Wan was there with her," Luke said, keeping his eyes on the table. Beside him Han stayed silent, listening to him.
"She didn't have much time left but there were things she needed to say. She knew, you see. She understood what the Emperor had done. It was as if I was there, right inside her mind. As if I was with her."
Han reached out a hand, touched Luke lightly on the arm. "Y'know, you were there with her."
"Yes. And somehow, through the Force, I could sense her emotions. Obi-Wan tried to do the same. He tried to understand what was happening, but she was too strong for him. He thought she'd simply lost the will to survive. That Anakin had taken away all that was left to live for."
"But it wasn't like that?"
"No, and that's why Leia has to come here. She's stopped believing that our mother's grief was because she was leaving us. She thinks as Ben did, that it was all down to Vader and the way things turned out."
Luke moved closer to Han, catching the comforting, perennial scent of the Falcon on his clothes, and the faint fragrance of Alderaanian whisky. Han slid an arm across Luke's shoulders and they looked together into the room.
"It was her way of fighting for us, but she was fighting for Anakin too. She hadn't lost faith in him. Knew there was still good in him. She wanted Ben to remember that. They were the last words she managed to speak."
"And Ben forgot."
"I don't think he forgot. I think he stopped believing it. When he found out what Anakin had become I suppose he lost hope."
"It's a good job you never did," Han said. "Did your mother know about this place? About the Prophecy?"
"I don't know. But she knew Palpatine had somehow planted ideas in Anakin's mind. When I went in there before I had these visions. It felt like I'd been thrown backwards into someone's memories, but they were totally chaotic and muddled. A lot of what I felt didn't make any sense - just mixed-up emotions. She knew what was coming. She'd seen it building up. All the fear and confusion in Anakin."
"You mean his turn to the Dark Side?"
"Yes. There were... voices too." Luke gave an apologetic shrug. "I guess all this sounds crazy to you."
"Yeah, it's crazy, but that doesn't mean I don't believe it. Just keep tellin' me."
Luke hesitated. "There was my father's voice. I think it must've been part of my mother's memories. I kept hearing him saying the same thing, over and over. I've found a way to save you."
"From what?"
"Death."
"But he didn't save her."
Luke twisted round to smile at Han. "No. She needed to prove he was wrong."
"I don't understand."
"He was talking about Dark Side powers. It was in his head that she was going to die and he was determined to prevent it. But it would've been through using the Dark Side and my mother couldn't allow that to happen. I think in the middle of all the pain she was going through she saw a way to do it. That she had a choice - life or death. If she chose life then Anakin would sense it, and the knowledge would've validated his actions. If she chose to die then maybe he'd understand how the Dark Side thrives on lies and deception. She thought she could save him."
"What about you and Leia? To do that meant leaving you."
"I know. That's why I felt so much grief from her. But she knew what the Emperor was capable of and recognized the danger we'd be in. What she wanted most of all was to protect us, so she made the hardest choice of all. And she trusted Ben to know what to do. What better way to hide babies than to pretend they've never been born?"
Han slid his other arm around Luke's waist and pulled him up close. "It's all so..." he tailed off, grazed his lips against Luke's cheek instead.
"I know," Luke said, understanding what Han was trying to say. There wasn't really a word that could sum it up. But he hadn't finished yet, because the vision wasn't only about pain and darkness and grief. There'd been the light.
"I said to Leia that I didn't believe our mother's relationship with Vader had been all about suffering. She wanted to believe me but I don't think she did. Obviously there was a lot of that, but the overriding feeling I got was one of love. For Anakin and for us. It was the strongest thing of all for her, and when she chose to die it was because of that love, and because she still had hope. When she made that decision I could sense the change in her. It just took over. Made everything that was wrong feel right."
"You take after her then," Han said quietly.
Luke drew back, studying Han's face. "In what way?"
"In the way you put those you care about first. You've always done that and you always will. You chose to die too, remember."
"It didn't happen."
"No," Han murmured, pulling Luke back into the embrace. "It didn't happen."
Luke brushed a kiss against Han's jaw. "I had this image of light, right at the end. I don't know if it was something my mother was experiencing or if it had some wider meaning. All the darkness just... vanished."
"What you're sayin' makes me think of that last carving," Han noted. "All that stuff about light and the end of the Sith."
"Yes," Luke said. He reached out and placed his palm flat against the synthglass window, imagining once more the threads of connection he'd felt in the room. "But I'd like to think she felt it too."
The initial coolness of the window beneath his hand had changed to a building warmth. It was as if he'd touched a living being, and he could feel the Force flow between his body and the room. A subtle tilting threatened to throw him off balance, and was all the warning he had before the vision took over...
The darkness was back. Fragments from his mother's growing awareness and bitter conflict. As before, there were voices from different times and different places. Some he didn't know, but others were instantly recognizable. Obi-Wan's, committed and intent. He was deceived by a lie. His mother's, full of denial and despair. I don't believe you. I can't... And his father's, resolute but tinged with desperation. I won't let this one become real...
Luke opened his eyes, feeling the grip of Han's hands around his arms. He focused on Han, waiting for the haziness to fade completely.
"What the hell happened?" Han asked, his voice gruff with anxiety.
"It was like before. My mother's memories. I heard her voice. And I heard Obi-Wan. And something else..."
"What?"
"My father. I heard him speak to my mother." Luke stared at Han, rendered immobile by feelings he couldn't decipher. "He called her Padmé."
chapter 23
Author: Caryn B
Fandom: Star Wars (film canon only - see notes)
Timeline: 6 months after RotJ
Pairing: Luke/Han, slash
Rating: NC-17 overall; this chapter PG-13
Warnings: None
The list of chapters is here
Chapter 22
It was an effort to stop his mind from wandering. Even envisaging Yoda's disapproval didn't have the focusing effect it should have done. Never his mind on where he was. What he was doing...
Years ago, Luke had known that an alternative side to him existed, deep inside. He'd stamped it down, fearful of ridicule and rejection from his more sophisticated and experienced friends. But when he'd discovered the truth of who he was it was his earlier self he'd tried to subdue. He'd trained himself to repress his impatient and reckless temperament, over which Yoda had once censured him.
Neither approach had been right, but it had taken the dramatic circumstances of the past two days for him to understand that. It was hard to remember a time when he'd not been at war with himself, but now, finally, the contradictory elements within his nature had reached some sort of reconciliation.
Que-raik's sudden question succeeded where Yoda's imaginary reproach had failed, and brought Luke's mind back to the proceedings in hand.
"Would you be in agreement to taking Sheni-dain and two of her technicians back to Arudin?"
The Administrator had addressed the query to both Luke and Danu. The Senator glanced at Luke before answering. "I presume the cruiser has the capacity for additional passengers?"
Luke nodded. "It's large enough, but the supplies on board might not be suitable." He looked at Que-raik. "We've space for nutrient tanks if you've got portable ones."
"It's thoughtful of you to consider our needs Master Skywalker, but our bodies can store sufficient food to sustain us for several days. Sheni-dain and her companions will require only water for use in their masks. On Arudin itself, I'm sure there will be appropriate facilities."
"Yes," Luke agreed. "But won't they feel stranded there without their own ship?"
"You've probably realized that we're not travelers at heart. We own few ships here on Polis Massa, and most of those who join us don't plan on leaving. Hence we have even fewer pilots. I was hoping that our team could return in due course aboard an Alliance vessel and bring some of your medical droids back with them to study our techniques. Providing your leadership accepts the agreement of course."
"There'll always be someone available to fly them back, but it might not be me. Only because I never know what's going to come up."
Que-raik bowed his head. "Of course. Although many of us are hoping you'll pay us a second visit in the future. Or perhaps I should say a third visit."
Luke smiled. There had seemed no reason to keep the evidence of his birth hidden, and it would have raised suspicions if he'd requested that Sheni-dain say nothing of the discovery. It would be impossible for anyone to unearth the wider implications without input from Luke or any of the few people who knew the truth. "I'm sure I'll be coming back," he said. And the next time he'd be bringing Leia, but that was another matter that had to remain secret. However they achieved it, it was essential that Leia see the carvings for herself in order to comprehend their meaning.
"Good. Speaking for myself, I feel we've gone as far as we can in our talks. Now I imagine you would both like a chance to relax before we get together again for the meal. I apologize for how little time that gives you - the meeting ran on for longer than I anticipated. I assume you'll want to leave tomorrow rather than later tonight?"
"Those back on Arudin will be keen to hear news of our visit, but it's not necessary to rush off," Danu replied. "I feel our trip here has been a huge success. The Alliance will be glad to call friends those who've helped us out in the past."
"The reverse is also true. We wish to mend links with those who once played a part in our lives. Sending a team to Arudin is a small step in opening up our horizons. Lately, the general consensus has been that we must begin to recognize ourselves as members of a wider galaxy."
Danu nodded. "There was a time when mixing with the rest of the galaxy could've meant losing freedoms under the Empire. Thankfully, those days are over."
With the meeting concluded, and after an extended round of polite leave-taking, Luke and Danu made their exit from the Administrator's rooms.
Danu gave a small sigh, tinged with something that was very close to relief. "Official-speak has its uses, but can be very draining."
"At least you can do it," Luke said. "I'd be hopeless by myself."
"That I doubt. What you lack in jargon you make up for in other ways. On the surface it was easy to reach the agreement, but they're a lot more nervous about it than they make out. Having you here has made all the difference. And I'm not talking about the medical research."
"I think that helped though." Luke paused, hoping to guide the conversation back to the point they'd reached the day before. "I realize how much they admired the Jedi, but things have changed now. If they're hoping for a repeat of the past it's not going to happen."
Danu looked at him with a degree of speculation. "You sound very decided. When we spoke before you were unsure how you wanted to proceed."
"I've been making everything too complicated. Trying to look at every possible angle and direction, when really it's very simple. It's just taken me a long time to work it out."
"It's been six months since the Emperor's death. That's hardly a long time, even if it feels like it. And something tells me you'd probably worked it out before we came here."
Luke gave a soft laugh. "Maybe. I think I'm just very good at talking myself into a corner. Coming here has made a big difference though. I realize now how important it is to trust myself."
"Then I'm glad you agreed to come. But I feel I've left you stranded. Dropping cryptic remarks and not following them through must have been frustrating for you, especially as I'm sure you thought I might have some genuine information."
Luke smiled at him. "I didn't know what to think, but there hasn't been a chance to talk since then anyway. It's not your fault we've been so busy."
"I feel I've been secretive all the same. I should've worked harder to find the time."
"I've learned quite a bit since then, but I'd still like to know what you heard about the Prophecy."
"Are you heading back to your room?" Danu asked.
"Yes, I need to shower and change before the meal."
"We can talk on the way then, although I suspect you know more than me by now."
They stopped by one of the repulsorcar halts. "I hoped you might be able to tell me more about the Senator from Naboo as well," Luke said. "I wondered if you thought there was a connection."
"A connection?"
"Between her and Polis Massa."
"Ah." Danu's brow creased in a small frown. "I take it you've had no further luck in acquiring details of your birth."
"Not if you mean facts. All that's left is the cell signature file. They erased everything else. Sheni-dain asked the midwife droids too, but I guess their memories would've been the first things wiped."
"That stands to reason. Protecting you and Leia must have been the main objective."
"Yes. There have been other things I've found out. Besides facts."
"Oh?"
"I visited the birthing unit."
Danu turned his gaze more fully on Luke. "The way you said that suggests it had some significance."
"It did. It confirmed Sheni-dain was right, though that wasn't the most important thing."
Danu raised his eyebrows, but didn't speak. Luke continued, wanting to give only the minimum of detail for now. Han was the person he wanted to share this with the most, but he felt some need to confide in the Senator. It had to do with the empathy Danu had shown towards his earlier uncertainty, and the strong sense that he'd found in Danu someone with a genuine appreciation for what it meant to be a Jedi.
"I understand what you were saying when you spoke about the Jedi Code," he continued. "By making it so restrictive they created other dangers, which then had to be controlled. When I went to the birthing room, I found out a small part of what was going on in my father's mind. He was struggling to deal with the repercussions of breaking the Code, and there was no-one in the Order he could turn to for help. At least, that's how he saw it."
"You're telling me you sensed that through the Force?"
"Yes, but through my mother's mind. That's how I know for sure Leia and I were born here - because I found that connection to her. What I'm still trying to figure out is why we ended up here. That's why I'm wondering if you knew something more. I know you were close to some of the Jedi in the past. Maybe you've remembered something?"
"I won't be of much help to you I'm afraid. I did have friends inside the Order, but my contacts were mainly professional ones. Let me tell you how that came about."
Danu fell silent for a moment as the repulsorcar stopped beside the doors leading to the mine complex. The transport filled up with miners, the weariness that slowed their steps shifting to relief as they sank down onto the bench seats.
Danu continued his explanation. "In the years I served as Senator for Kuat I spent much of my time on Coruscant smoothing out trade deals between the Senate and the Kuati shipyards. I had many dealings with the Jedi Council too. They regularly used the Kuat Drive Yards to undertake specific modifications to their starfighters." Danu rubbed a hand across his jaw, his voice developing a caustic edge. "Undoubtedly, the war was a major boost to the Kuati economy."
Luke gave him rueful smile. "You got into trouble for your stance against the shipyards didn't you?"
"Ultimately it cost me my job and landed me twenty years on Belinar. I count myself among the lucky ones. Other colleagues of mine were not so fortunate."
"Kuat's thriving on unrest, even now," Luke noted.
"The whole world is in thrall to the shipyards. Without some viable alternative employment it's difficult to see how things can change."
"I know, and the Imperial occupation is pushing production even further. We've had no requests for help, but even if we had I doubt the governors would agree to talks."
"That's for sure. Bigger profit margins come from fighting. It's in their interests to prolong division in the galaxy. It was the reason I became involved with the Jedi in the first place. My abhorrence for warfare and the Jedi's increasing uneasiness over the Chancellor's emergency powers drew us together."
"Mon Mothma told me how Palpatine worked the situation to his advantage. Was that when the Jedi started to realize what he was up to?" Luke asked.
"Some of them had realized it long before. Others never believed it. Some thought Palpatine was little more than a power-hungry politician. At the height of the Clone Wars I noticed rifts opening up within the Order. Talk had started about a much darker threat hanging over the galaxy. Something that went beyond the war."
"The Sith?"
Danu nodded. "Outside the Order the subject was only mentioned in veiled terms, but I understood it to mean the Sith. Some of the Jedi felt the Council wasn't doing enough to investigate that possibility. That the Jedi leaders were simply waiting, in the belief that they had their answer already."
"Because of the Prophecy?"
"Yes. Remember though, I was an outsider, despite my sympathies. Nobody said anything explicit to me. I drew my conclusions from inference and probability. They did discuss the Prophecy openly however. I knew it referred to a Chosen One who would destroy the Sith and thus return balance to the Force. They didn't discuss to whom the Prophecy referred, although I understood that the Jedi had one amongst them who they believed filled that role. I admit that the concept fascinated me, as did anything that played a part in Jedi philosophy."
"So you never heard any names mentioned?"
"For the Chosen One - no. But I did hear mention of Polis Massa." Danu smiled at Luke, apology heavy in his eyes. "I knew you'd guessed that I'd heard of the place before."
"I did wonder," Luke admitted.
"I only heard the name in passing. And maybe I should've paid more attention, but at the time I didn't understand the significance of what I was hearing. I was present during a disagreement between two members of the Order. I'd gone there with the intention of offloading my grievances against the Kuati aristocracy. Whilst I was waiting in the anteroom of the Council Chamber two Jedi arrived, presumably also heading for a meeting with the Council. They were in the midst of a heated discussion and paid no attention to me. I caught on straight away that they were talking about the Prophecy."
Danu shifted in his seat and Luke cast a glance outside. The repulsorcar was now in the final loop of the corridor that led to the guest rooms.
"One of the Jedi was refusing to accept that there was any truth to it, but the other refuted that," Danu continued. "She mentioned that Master Kenobi had seen the truth of it for himself when he'd gone to Polis Massa all those years ago."
The information gave Luke a small jolt inside. So Ben had been to the asteroid before his and Leia's births. It felt like another piece of the puzzle was about to fall into place. "D'you know when he went?" he asked.
Danu shook his head. "No, but I suspect it was some years before my appointment as Senator. I heard just one more thing before the two of them disappeared through the Chamber doors. The female Jedi asked her companion a question. I can't recall her exact words, but it was something along the lines of 'why do you think he continued to train him?'"
Luke was silent for a few moments, remembering Tiriss-elain's comments in the caves. I had a visitor, over thirty-five years or so back. A Jedi... he was trying to honor a promise he'd made...
"He was keeping true to a promise," Luke said at last. "But I'm sure he believed in it too at first."
"They were talking about Obi-Wan Kenobi's apprentice weren't they? Your father."
"I think so. Anakin Skywalker was the Chosen One."
Danu nodded slowly. "So they were right to believe. My own feelings about it haven't been clear. After the burning of the Jedi Temple I waited for events to turn back around, as I was sure they would. They didn't, and the situation grew worse. Bail told me the Jedi had been defeated. He grieved for them, as did I. In my mind, the Prophecy became merely a story with no basis in reality. But then, many years later, I learned of you and I heard that you'd killed the Emperor and Darth Vader."
"I expect more people believe that than know the truth," Luke said.
"Many prefer an altered version of the truth in any case," Danu said dryly. "You can imagine my thoughts. Here was a Jedi who'd destroyed the last of the Sith. I began to wonder about the Prophecy once more. Out there on Belinar, I wondered if you were the Chosen One, and the Jedi had got it wrong."
"But when you found out it was Darth Vader who killed the Emperor that must've ruined your theory."
Danu gave a quiet laugh, mirroring Luke's amusement. "It did, to be honest. But then Mon Mothma started asking me about Polis Massa, and all my fascination for the legend started up again. It seemed like there was no way for me to avoid it. And she wanted you to accompany me there."
"Why though? I know the visit's all about Jedi links and the medical science agreement. But I thought she had another reason."
"It was because I once told her something Bail had said to me."
The admission surprised Luke. He'd been expecting a further reference to Obi-Wan. "What was it?"
Danu held Luke's gaze steadily. "It concerned a conversation that happened just after the funeral of Senator Amidala. Bail and I met to discuss how we were going to handle the political fall-out from the declaration of the Empire. Bail was calm on the outside, but he was a mass of emotion inside. I could see it all, just barely restrained. I discovered so many things my head was reeling. He talked about Palpatine and how he'd plotted his rise to power. And he talked about the Jedi and how they believed they'd failed. He mentioned Obi-Wan, and for some reason the Prophecy sprung to my mind. I told him how I'd understood that the Jedi had pinned their hopes on the Prophecy, but it appeared nothing had come of it."
The repulsorcar slowed and hovered at the junction linking the guest suites with the main settlement. Luke and the Senator alighted and stood for a moment, waiting for the transport to draw away.
"I remember Bail giving me a strange look, but he didn't question me then," Danu continued. "I kept on, curious to know if Master Kenobi had spoken to Bail about it. I told him I'd heard that a place called Polis Massa had once provided convincing evidence that the legend had a basis in truth. The expression on Bail's face when I said the name was one of utter shock. He stared at me for a long time before asking me how I knew of it."
They were the only occupants of the corridor and Danu's voice sounded unnaturally loud after the drone of the repulsorcar. Even the tiny fragments of asteroids that spattered intermittently against the insulated transparisteel wall made no dent in the silence. They walked along slowly.
"I told him about the fragments of conversation that I'd heard and I'm certain I saw relief in his face that my knowledge was so scanty. Then he asked me to keep the information to myself and never to mention the name of Polis Massa to anyone outside our closed little community of sympathizers."
"But he didn't say why?" Luke asked.
"No. He said something very odd instead. That some time in the future there could be changes and if there were, that I should remember this conversation and recall recent events. At the time I had no idea what he meant, but it left me with an abiding curiosity over Polis Massa. I never spoke of it to anyone but Mon Mothma, and only then because she'd expressed deep regret for excluding the Jedi from our alliance. She knew you were facing issues over your role as a Jedi. Both she and I were of the opinion that Polis Massa may hold some sort of answer for you."
"And you were both right." Luke shook his head, still bemused by the chain of coincidences that had brought him back to the asteroid. He considered what Bail Organa had said to Danu. "Bail told you to recall recent events?" he asked. "Surely he knew you'd never forget them?"
"The more I thought about it, the more I took it to mean that some day, when we'd restored freedom to the galaxy and rid it of Palpatine, then we'd have the chance to honor those who'd died. We couldn't do it publicly back then. Showing support for either murdered Jedi or fellow senators convicted of treason would've led to our own arrest."
Luke nodded. "It sounds like he may have meant that."
"I'm not so sure any more. I think he was trying to hint at something more specific without revealing anything incriminating." Danu leveled a long look at Luke. "I wonder now if he was referring to Padmé Amidala's death."
***
Luke reflected that this evening's meal was a lot less formal than the previous one. Now that the negotiating side to their visit was over there was no need to step carefully for fear of jeopardizing the agreement. Also, both he and Senator Danu were now more familiar with the Polis Massan lifestyle than they'd been on arrival.
Conversation over meals was clearly a rare thing here. Luke suspected that social dining of this sort only took place on specific occasions such as when visitors stayed, and even then there was a notable quietness about them. It was more practical that way. The Polis Massans obtained their nutrients though osmosis and had devised a table-top device that enabled them to join in with those who consumed food in other ways. Within the privacy of their own quarters, Luke knew that they used full-size submersion tanks. He doubted that the table-top osmosis masks did much more than provide a token intake of nutrients - they were a gesture more than anything else.
Every so often, the Polis Massans would dip their faces into their masks and remain there for several minutes. It was the cue for their human guests to turn their attention to their own plates of food. During these intervals, Luke was aware of Han watching him, his expression full of warm appraisal. Every so often, Luke smiled back at him, catching his eyes for only the shortest of moments. It would've been too easy to allow those small intimate glances to become something else. To lose himself in Han's encompassing gaze to the exclusion of all others there. But Luke was conscious of the presence of Senator Danu and the need to remain an active participant in the function. He hoped to have plenty of time with Han later, but it felt like all the time in the world wouldn't be enough to address the questions they both had for each other.
Luke and the Senator had reached a tacit agreement early on, that talking during the Polis Massans' immersion in their masks didn't feel right. Nobody disapproved, but it would've seemed impolite. As though they were having an exclusive conversation while their hosts were unable to join in.
Luke used the periods of silence to think. He wanted to share his discoveries with Leia and found himself missing their time together with a pang of regret. Not so strange really, when he considered why he should feel that way. The dynamics of friendship between himself, Han and Leia had changed, and there was no going back. And although he couldn't imagine a future without the closeness he'd developed with Leia, it was inevitable that the altered circumstances would affect it, at least at first. Deep down, he knew Leia would no more want a division between any of them than Luke did. It was just the awkwardness of the situation. Going up to their sanctuary on the hill wouldn't be the same now. The last time the three of them had climbed there together, Leia had been with Han.
But despite the difficulties they needed to face, for Luke the future beckoned with new promise. Where once it had seemed cloudy and uncertain, now it was as bright and clear as sunlight on snow. Unable to help himself, he let his eyes fall back on Han, absorbing the happiness he could see there and knowing that it stemmed from the very same contentment he felt within himself.
Luke had never been a believer in the power of destiny over free will. His gut instincts had guided him all his life and he'd continuously rebelled against those who'd tried to dictate his future to him. But he hadn't always known the importance of trusting his instincts. In some ways, Ben and Yoda had been the same, exhorting him to rely on his feelings, whilst at the same time instructing him how to proceed in ways that directly contradicted those feelings. It was only at the end that Yoda had seemed to see it. No more training do you require. Already know you that which you need, he'd said. As if he'd finally accepted that Luke's feelings were enough to guide him in his life ahead. Maybe Luke should've listened to those words more carefully, but events had taken over and the doubts, fuelled by the Emperor even after his death, had set in.
Now, after all that he'd learned, it was easy to see where his thinking had gone wrong. But would he have believed in himself more strongly if Yoda and Ben had told him all there was to know? Wasn't it more the point that he'd had to find it out for himself? Even though he'd discovered so much, he still had questions, most of them certain to remain unanswered. Was it by design that Ben had brought his mother to Polis Massa, or was it down to some strange twist of fate? It made him wonder how accidental the omission of his cell signature was from the deletion program that had taken place after the birth. Was Leia's cell signature also here, buried deep in the system?
He knew that Ben had been present at his birth. And Yoda too. When he'd succumbed to the visions in the birthing chamber he'd felt those same pinpricks of familiarity he'd experienced when Leia had shared her memory. An obvious source had been the presence of Leia herself, but he'd been able to isolate his twin from his awareness of others. He'd felt something similar when he'd landed on Dagobah for the first time. Knowledge of something - or someone - known to him. He'd been with Yoda long before the Jedi master had startled him in the swamps. Not only during his birth, but also throughout his youth when Yoda had studied him through the Force. The clash of images that had swept over him in the medcenter had also shown him Ben, and although he'd always known Ben had been involved in his birth, he hadn't realized how active his role had been. But now he did. He also understood just how wrong Ben had been that day-
The soft touch to his shoulder interrupted his train of thought and he shifted over to allow the Polis Massan behind him to take away his plate. It was the signal to move from the table and into an adjoining room. Here, they were secluded from the endless stream of spinning asteroids by broad shutters, and the softer lighting was in contrast to the harsher illumination of the dining area.
It was now that conversation began. And it coincided with Han getting his wish at last. Que-raik produced a tall stone bottle from a wooden chest. He wiped away a fine coating of dust, revealing a faded and aged label. Held it aloft for his guests to see.
"This was a gift from Coruscant some years ago. We've never had cause to use it before now, but I think today warrants a celebration."
Han gave a low whistle. "Vintage Alderaanian brandy. That's gotta be at least 200 years old."
Que-raik nodded. "A thank you from a visiting ship. My predecessor received it quarter of a century back. Our bodies cannot process spirits such as this, but it was a generous gesture nevertheless."
"Almost a crime to drink it," Han remarked.
"But as big a crime to leave it untouched," Giddean Danu added.
Han grinned at the Senator. "That's why I said 'almost'."
Que-raik unsealed the brandy, letting the aroma of malted grain seep into the room. He poured it slowly into three stemmed goblets and handed them around. The liquor was a deep, burnt amber in color, thick and heavy in consistency. But its fragrance was unexpectedly light. It reminded Luke of the scent of Leia, bringing to mind fresh air and mountains and snow and high-altitude herbs. Hers was the scent of Alderaan, but he'd never made the connection before now. The realization gave him a sharp stab of dismay. It was a fragrance now obtainable only through bottles and speculative interpretation - the original lost forever, along with his chance of discovering a key part of Leia's past.
He took the heavy glass with a smile of thanks, wondering if he gave off subtle intimations of his homeworld to those around him. He thought of the aromatic scent of the soap he washed with and the spicy food he preferred. Desert spices. The homesickness was sharp and unavoidable, but not unfamiliar. It often caught him when he was least expecting it, leaving him with memories of Aunt Beru's comforting hugs, or the heaviness of Uncle Owen's hand on his shoulder. Feeling it here was inevitable. His past and Polis Massa were inextricably linked, and now every memory of Tatooine was going to lead back here.
He looked across at the others, noticing Han's quizzical glance. Luke shook his head, dismissing his abstraction as inconsequential. It wasn't, of course, but he preferred to reserve explanation for the private time with Han that had to come soon.
He couldn't say for sure that he understood everything he'd seen here. For one thing, it was impossible to untangle his own interpretation of his findings from one that portrayed his destiny as predetermined. It didn't matter, because he did understand the meaning of the balance the carvings had predicted. And he needed to explain that to Han, because although he was certain Han had seen why Luke and Leia symbolized change, Luke didn't think he'd realized exactly what that meant to Luke.
The Emperor's words struck him once more - only now, at the end, do you understand. But it seemed to Luke that the Emperor himself had never really understood. Had Palpatine ever visited here, or had the legend of the Chosen One reached him in the traditional manner of ancient mythology? A story handed down through successions of Sith Masters and Apprentices, each recitation adding new twists and turns and cementing the belief in its existence.
You, like your father, are now mine. Palpatine's declaration could have had another level of meaning. One that implied that the Emperor had not only known of the Prophecy, but that he'd tried to possess it too. That he'd attempted to avert it by taking control of it. First, by the manipulation and imprisonment of his father's mind, and then by his efforts to coerce Luke into following in Vader's steps.
The Sith would've had no interest in balance. Such a concept went against their doctrine. To them, the Prophecy spelt their end, yet it was their own teachings that had given it new power. The visions of the Eellayin gave the Prophecy conviction, and that was enough to set events in motion. With his belief in the power of destiny and his attempts to dictate the unfolding future, the Emperor had brought about the very actions he'd been trying to thwart.
"General Solo, you haven't been to see my laboratories yet." Sheni-dain had made her way over to Han. Pulled from his thoughts for a second time, Luke watched Han's efforts to think of a way out of her accusation with growing amusement.
"Er, tomorrow?" Han said, having failed to find a better answer. "Although you're gonna be busy gettin' ready to leave." He hid the hopeful undertones well.
"I'm never too busy to show off my work. I'll expect you tomorrow morning then."
"Right."
"Although I suppose most of our technology will be nothing new to you. As a General with the Alliance you must be involved in all your medical advances."
"Not really. I tend to keep outta the way of medical droids."
"But you're interested?" Sheni-dain persisted.
"Well... sure. When I can understand it. Flying a ship's more my thing."
Luke grinned at him from across the room. The Polis Massan cloning technology and genetic research was central to their existence on the asteroid. Everyone was involved in it in some way and lack of understanding wouldn't be an obstacle.
"Will you be accompanying us to Arudin?" the scientist asked.
Han nodded. "But I'll get there before you. My ship's the Millennium Falcon."
"Oh?"
"You've never heard of her?"
"Should I have?"
The expression on Han's face was priceless and Luke bent down over his glass to disguise his laughter. Han would no doubt accuse him of setting the conversation up, but it really was just coincidence. Only this time Han stayed quiet, probably realizing that his Kessel Run story had about as much chance of impressing Sheni-dain as it had Obi-Wan.
When he looked up Han aimed a glare at him and Luke moved over to join them. "I thought Tiriss-elain might've come to the meal," he said to Sheni-dain.
"She was planning to, but I believe she's resting instead. She came to see me earlier on - told me she'd met you both today."
"Yes. I hope the visit to the caves didn't tire her out too much."
"She's stronger than she looks. I think she just wanted some time to herself. She said she had some things to think through."
"I can imagine," Han put in, earning a puzzled glance from Sheni-dain.
"Meeting Luke, I meant," Han explained, adopting a tone of mild innocence. "That's gonna give anyone pause for thought."
"Oh?" Sheni-dain said. "Perhaps it was meeting you that did it." She spied Perek-tain on the other side of the room. "Would you excuse me? I'd like to arrange to take some samples with me to Arudin."
"Sure," Han said. "I wouldn't wanna mess with her," he added, after the scientist had moved away.
"You did ask for it," Luke grinned.
"I only give as good as I get. Makes you wonder what kinda samples she's collecting."
"I'm sure she'll tell you if you ask her."
"Some other time. How long have we gotta stay here makin' small talk?"
Luke glanced around at the assembled group. "No idea. I shouldn't think it'll go on much longer though."
It just showed how wrong he could be when, two hours later, the gathering finally broke up. Han had proved that he really could give as good as he got when he was singled out as the main source of alternative information on the galaxy. The Eellayin may have lived an austere and closeted lifestyle, but if the interest in Han's stories was anything to go by, it looked as though the Polis Massans didn't intend to emulate their supposed ancestors indefinitely.
When Han escaped from the flood of questions, he sought Luke out, a thoughtful look on his face. "Are you gonna show me this birthing center then?"
"You want to go there?" Luke asked, surprised.
"If there was a chance to go to Corellia to see where I was born, would you wanna go?"
"Well, yes - I guess so."
"So there's your answer."
***
This time the visit was legitimate. Luke had asked Que-raik if anyone minded him seeing the medical center where he'd been born, and Que-raik had told him to go ahead. Luke's request had surprised the Administrator - not because Luke wanted to see the place for himself, but because Luke had felt it necessary to ask. Luke had refrained from mentioning that he'd been there already, and waited whilst Que-raik gave him detailed directions to the corridor in question.
"I can't tell you which birthing room is the correct one," Que-raik had said, his tone apologetic. "With no records remaining we've no way of knowing."
Luke had smiled and told him it didn't matter. He just wanted to see the complex.
Now, as they made their way to the birthing room Luke considered how the corridor gave off an indefinable sense of peace. The whole atmosphere seemed imbued with it, and it was only partly down to the soft-focus lighting and sound-minimizing surfaces. Luke thought it had something to do with the way he could sense the eternal cycle of life through the Force. Here, where new life was just beginning, the benign power of the Force was at its strongest. In the background, and just audible, were the soft mewling sounds of newborn infants.
When Han heard them he turned to Luke with a peculiar expression. "I dunno why - but it feels like we're walkin' back in time."
"In some ways I guess we are," Luke said. Back into his past at any rate.
They reached the chamber with its large viewing window. Luke walked up to it and gazed inside. Han joined him, staring at the inactive displays, silent monitors and central table.
"Thanks for coming here," Luke said, breaking the long moment of silence. He wasn't referring just to the birthing center, but Han would know that anyway.
"I dunno what I expected," Han admitted. "Just knew I had to see you. I had to explain, y'know... about the hangar."
"You don't need to explain."
"Yeah, well I'm good at landing people in it. One of the things I do best."
Luke could feel Han's eyes on him and he turned to look at him. "I'm glad you did it. I know what you meant by it."
"Really?"
"Sometimes it's better to come right out with the truth instead of trying to shield everyone from it."
"It's not just Leia 'n a few Alliance pilots though, is it? Most of the galaxy's gonna know by now."
"I know, but that kind of gossip doesn't matter. It's how we feel about it. And how Leia feels about it."
"I dunno how Leia feels about it. She's kinda wound up. All the stuff you've been sayin' - she's sayin' it now."
"It's one thing being told what getting angry can do, but it's another thing to feel it happen. It's hard to get to grips with it."
"Yeah, I get that. But she's sayin' stuff about you as well. About you trying to decide what to do. She thinks everything's unbalanced all of a sudden."
"Is that what she said?"
"Yeah. Maybe I'm missing somethin', but I don't get how you just thinking about the future is gonna throw the Force outta balance."
Luke shook his head. "It isn't. I think what she's sensing is how wrong it would feel to set things back to how they were. She's listening to her feelings and they're telling her something."
"That's what I wondered. She's been tryin' to imagine what it'd be like to live like the Jedi of the past, but it doesn't feel right to her. She's gotta trust her feelings, right?"
"It's the most important thing Yoda taught me, but it's also the thing that's given me the most trouble."
"You're only seein' part of it," Han objected. "You trusted your feelings when you flew to Cloud City, and when you went off to look for Vader on Endor. All along it's been about that. Just 'cause you questioned yourself doesn't mean you got it wrong. Questioning's a good thing if you ask me."
Nothing more will I teach you today. Clear your mind of questions... "I think the Jedi were taught not to question."
"So maybe they were wrong. Askin' questions ain't the same thing as ignoring your feelings."
"You're right, it isn't," Luke smiled. He fell silent for a moment. Turned his head back to look into the birthing room.
"Are you going inside?" Han asked.
"No. I think I've discovered all I can from here. When Leia comes I might go in again."
"You're gonna bring her here?"
Luke glanced again at Han. "Yes. The memory she shared with me came from here. Right in this room. The woman she saw was our mother. I know that for certain now."
"Even though you don't know who she was."
"No - I don't know that. Not yet. But I know she died here, and I know why she died."
"D'you wanna talk about it?"
Luke studied the room, his eyes focusing on the birthing table. In his mind he saw echoes of Leia's memory, intermingled with the faces from his own vision. He saw his mother, her face a mask of pain but her spirit still full of determination. And Obi-Wan, full of distress and confusion and misunderstanding.
"Obi-Wan was there with her," Luke said, keeping his eyes on the table. Beside him Han stayed silent, listening to him.
"She didn't have much time left but there were things she needed to say. She knew, you see. She understood what the Emperor had done. It was as if I was there, right inside her mind. As if I was with her."
Han reached out a hand, touched Luke lightly on the arm. "Y'know, you were there with her."
"Yes. And somehow, through the Force, I could sense her emotions. Obi-Wan tried to do the same. He tried to understand what was happening, but she was too strong for him. He thought she'd simply lost the will to survive. That Anakin had taken away all that was left to live for."
"But it wasn't like that?"
"No, and that's why Leia has to come here. She's stopped believing that our mother's grief was because she was leaving us. She thinks as Ben did, that it was all down to Vader and the way things turned out."
Luke moved closer to Han, catching the comforting, perennial scent of the Falcon on his clothes, and the faint fragrance of Alderaanian whisky. Han slid an arm across Luke's shoulders and they looked together into the room.
"It was her way of fighting for us, but she was fighting for Anakin too. She hadn't lost faith in him. Knew there was still good in him. She wanted Ben to remember that. They were the last words she managed to speak."
"And Ben forgot."
"I don't think he forgot. I think he stopped believing it. When he found out what Anakin had become I suppose he lost hope."
"It's a good job you never did," Han said. "Did your mother know about this place? About the Prophecy?"
"I don't know. But she knew Palpatine had somehow planted ideas in Anakin's mind. When I went in there before I had these visions. It felt like I'd been thrown backwards into someone's memories, but they were totally chaotic and muddled. A lot of what I felt didn't make any sense - just mixed-up emotions. She knew what was coming. She'd seen it building up. All the fear and confusion in Anakin."
"You mean his turn to the Dark Side?"
"Yes. There were... voices too." Luke gave an apologetic shrug. "I guess all this sounds crazy to you."
"Yeah, it's crazy, but that doesn't mean I don't believe it. Just keep tellin' me."
Luke hesitated. "There was my father's voice. I think it must've been part of my mother's memories. I kept hearing him saying the same thing, over and over. I've found a way to save you."
"From what?"
"Death."
"But he didn't save her."
Luke twisted round to smile at Han. "No. She needed to prove he was wrong."
"I don't understand."
"He was talking about Dark Side powers. It was in his head that she was going to die and he was determined to prevent it. But it would've been through using the Dark Side and my mother couldn't allow that to happen. I think in the middle of all the pain she was going through she saw a way to do it. That she had a choice - life or death. If she chose life then Anakin would sense it, and the knowledge would've validated his actions. If she chose to die then maybe he'd understand how the Dark Side thrives on lies and deception. She thought she could save him."
"What about you and Leia? To do that meant leaving you."
"I know. That's why I felt so much grief from her. But she knew what the Emperor was capable of and recognized the danger we'd be in. What she wanted most of all was to protect us, so she made the hardest choice of all. And she trusted Ben to know what to do. What better way to hide babies than to pretend they've never been born?"
Han slid his other arm around Luke's waist and pulled him up close. "It's all so..." he tailed off, grazed his lips against Luke's cheek instead.
"I know," Luke said, understanding what Han was trying to say. There wasn't really a word that could sum it up. But he hadn't finished yet, because the vision wasn't only about pain and darkness and grief. There'd been the light.
"I said to Leia that I didn't believe our mother's relationship with Vader had been all about suffering. She wanted to believe me but I don't think she did. Obviously there was a lot of that, but the overriding feeling I got was one of love. For Anakin and for us. It was the strongest thing of all for her, and when she chose to die it was because of that love, and because she still had hope. When she made that decision I could sense the change in her. It just took over. Made everything that was wrong feel right."
"You take after her then," Han said quietly.
Luke drew back, studying Han's face. "In what way?"
"In the way you put those you care about first. You've always done that and you always will. You chose to die too, remember."
"It didn't happen."
"No," Han murmured, pulling Luke back into the embrace. "It didn't happen."
Luke brushed a kiss against Han's jaw. "I had this image of light, right at the end. I don't know if it was something my mother was experiencing or if it had some wider meaning. All the darkness just... vanished."
"What you're sayin' makes me think of that last carving," Han noted. "All that stuff about light and the end of the Sith."
"Yes," Luke said. He reached out and placed his palm flat against the synthglass window, imagining once more the threads of connection he'd felt in the room. "But I'd like to think she felt it too."
The initial coolness of the window beneath his hand had changed to a building warmth. It was as if he'd touched a living being, and he could feel the Force flow between his body and the room. A subtle tilting threatened to throw him off balance, and was all the warning he had before the vision took over...
The darkness was back. Fragments from his mother's growing awareness and bitter conflict. As before, there were voices from different times and different places. Some he didn't know, but others were instantly recognizable. Obi-Wan's, committed and intent. He was deceived by a lie. His mother's, full of denial and despair. I don't believe you. I can't... And his father's, resolute but tinged with desperation. I won't let this one become real...
Luke opened his eyes, feeling the grip of Han's hands around his arms. He focused on Han, waiting for the haziness to fade completely.
"What the hell happened?" Han asked, his voice gruff with anxiety.
"It was like before. My mother's memories. I heard her voice. And I heard Obi-Wan. And something else..."
"What?"
"My father. I heard him speak to my mother." Luke stared at Han, rendered immobile by feelings he couldn't decipher. "He called her Padmé."
chapter 23