So... how would y'all set boundaries (read: say NO) to someone who is in a complicated situation with no obvious good options other than taking advantage of you?
It is really hard to give advice with so little background. For me, one of the ways I've had to learn to draw boundaries is to ACTUALLY WRITE THEM DOWN for myself.
Then, when I'm about to be in contact with someone that crosses them, I re-read them. I remind myself of how to speak gently, but firmly, on my own behalf.
Then, I say it.
Then, I have to work on reminding myself that their reaction - good, bad, nasty, understanding, whatever it may be - is ALL ABOUT THEM and not even a tiny bit about me.
If they continue to cross boundaries, it is time to assess consequences. "If you keep saying X, doing Y, I am going to leave (the room, the house, this space). I will come back when you stop/you apologize/in X time."
If this is a work situation, where you can't assess consequences as easily, I'd start looking for a new job. I'd also spend a lot of time reminding myself that other people's behaviors are about THEM not about ME.
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Then, when I'm about to be in contact with someone that crosses them, I re-read them. I remind myself of how to speak gently, but firmly, on my own behalf.
Then, I say it.
Then, I have to work on reminding myself that their reaction - good, bad, nasty, understanding, whatever it may be - is ALL ABOUT THEM and not even a tiny bit about me.
If they continue to cross boundaries, it is time to assess consequences. "If you keep saying X, doing Y, I am going to leave (the room, the house, this space). I will come back when you stop/you apologize/in X time."
If this is a work situation, where you can't assess consequences as easily, I'd start looking for a new job. I'd also spend a lot of time reminding myself that other people's behaviors are about THEM not about ME.
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