LASTNIGHT: very,very last social ever (! !!)
helium balloons, hellogoodbyes, camerasflashingflashingflashing, sassy&hilarious&adorable&ridiculous outfits & smiles,smilessmiles. "let's dance."... a suffocating air of "i can't believe this is the last one. i'll miss you." spinning the songs that meant something (for the stupidest reasons). chasing ( Read more... )

many protests later; we were on a cliff-edge 'bush' walk.
pictures of the gorgeous scenery
( five )

he gave me a beautiful,beautiful,longstemmed ribboned red rose for my birthday;
it sits on my table in a pretty,pretty vase
&every time i glance at it
it reminds me that i miss him more than
i could ever care to admit
...until i feel like i have to take it away.
(&i haven't dared to read the card yet.)
imissyouimissyouimissyouimissyou.

( Read more... )

yesterday was one of those days that just lasted fartool o n g ...waking up at a friends place after an (extremely forgettable) night of parties&alcohol&roaming ... [&exploring the almostforgotten wonders of McDonald's space world playground...!!], came home and managed to have a fight with a friend (boys & friends & "just friends"= ( Read more... )

together they are spinning sparkling words under the guise of charm and mystery, perfect in their misguided distance so strangely familiar that sometimes it hurt. she twirls like a butterfly princess until he stopped avoiding her eyes, his voice faltered in a way only she knew how to catch as he whispered "i miss you already."       the ( Read more... )

dull afternoons & then it strikes you, cold&bitter (but you've been expecting it)..
exactly how much you've been pretending and [blissfully?!] ignoring the truth

&stuck sitting, trying to grasp who i am/who i've become/who i want to be... somewhere along the line it was mixedmixedmixed up [long,long ago], trying to discover why everyone except me ( Read more... )

back home again.

&utterly,utterly exhausted.

i have sososomuch to say/tell
but, the words just don't come

( Read more... )

at (ghastly!) hours this morning,
i learn that i'm searching for a flight up to sydney,
this afternoon. (!!)

why?
simply because my brother
has been asking&asking for me.
& i have to realise
"where my priorites lie"
(for the 5000th time)
why, of coursefuck priorities. i am utterly sick of ( Read more... )