traces, part seven.

[casi_casi]

Title: Traces
Part: 7 of 10
Characters: David Beckham, Martín Cáceres, Fabio Cannavaro, Iker Casillas, Royston Drenthe, Julien Faubert, Fernando Gago, Raúl González, Pep Guardiola, Thierry Henry, Guti Hernández, Xavi Hernández, Gonzalo Higuaín, Andrés Iniesta, Bojan Krkić, Lionel Messi, Ruud van Nistelrooy, Gerard Piqué, Carles Puyol, Sergio Ramos

Comments

[casi_casi]

Oh, you are so kind. Thank you so much, for reading and for this lovely comment. It's so great to hear what you're thinking with each chapter. ♥

I'm so, so glad that you enjoyed this, particularly the David scene, and the stuff with Sergio, Rubén and Fernando. Oh, please don't let anything nag at you about Gonzalo. There's nothing sinister about him at all, I just want to get that out there, haha. He and Raúl are too distant for him to be Raúl's close friend, so Raúl is still quite isolated, but he does have at least one person helping him out. :)

[casi_casi]

Well, that's exactly what I was hoping for! C:

[tonstant_weader]

It's funny how in chapter 7 I can start getting interested in characters, like Rubén, who seemed mysterious, but not compelling. Obviously if you wrote them into the plot you had a purpose for them, but it's nice to see when they break free (figuratively & literally) and start to achieve your narrative purpose. It also spawned new interest in Sergio's character because Raúl's questions mirrored the ones in my head

[casi_casi]

Ah, it's so good to hear that you're getting interested in characters that didn't intrigue you before. I'm glad that Raúl's questions to Sergio mirrored yours, because there are certain scenes in this fic where I need to help the readers out and have Raúl be the voice of the audience. And I love how suspicious you are of everyone and about everything!

my assistants who frankly don't respect me very much either but can still give good advice
Made me smile.

preach, Captain Hastings.
Ah, love you, love the reference.

Thank you for the thoroughly good read that was this comment, and thank you, as ever, for reading this. ♥

[tonstant_weader]

It's hard to be equally as intrigued especially when their "screen time" (sorry, it helps me to convert to the language I know) is either limited or cryptic. I'm sure this is the sort of work that after the end, if I re-read in entirety I'll get a lot more "aha's!" out of it. That being said, I know some of them probably will stay as side-characters but some might be key so it's fun to see which ones those are.

I think Raúl was always the one I considered my voice (as the reader) because the reader naturally tries to play detective in mystery stories. And yes, I read a lot of them as a kid - including a lot of Agatha Christie - so part of me expects Raúl to gather every suspect in a room together at the end and go through the entire story and motives, waiting until the end to reveal the killer. Ms. Christie, I love you, but I know your formula cold these days. ;)

And, since I forgot to say above, thanks again for writing this as I'm enjoying it... obviously!!

[casi_casi]

I get why you refer to it as 'screen time'. When I write, I tend to see all of the scenes unfolding in more of a cinematic way than a narrative way, if you know what I mean. I guess that's why I like writing in vignettes.

Haha, I certainly don't plan for Raúl to do a Poirot-style sit-down at the end! I always found that to be kind of unrealistic, though immensely satisfying in its cleanliness. ;)

I love you for this: I know some of them probably will stay as side-characters but some might be key so it's fun to see which ones those are. ♥

[eileenyx]

Oh, man. The anxiety and the sense of unravelling of most of the characters in this part almost overwhelm, but your controlled and purposeful writing rein in everything.

Although Titi's forever suspicious (I'm looking in his direction when it comes to the notes), I'm ruling him out as Becks's shooter because the act seems too crude and ~emotional. Also, wouldn't Becks expect Titi? In greeting his visitor, Becks is surprised and confused. Because of Titi's previous warning of the consequences of leaving town, a Titi attack wouldn't surprise or confuse Becks. IDEK.

Could I take a moment to tear up over Becks' undeniable sentimentality, and his lingering thoughts of Iker? Your gorgeous description of a gutless yet efficiently bloodless breakup is also a tearjerker. BRB, crying in my sleeve.

Ah, so Guti's the ex-Brass member Titi mentioned in his conversation with Becks? I'm probably wrong, LOL.

This is probably my obsession bias speaking, but I choose to buy Rubén's perception of Sergio as his rescuer. Sergio's still shady, and I don

[casi_casi]

God. Thank you so much.

I just love how you break everything down and pick it all apart. As I've said before, you make including all of the detail so very worth it, because you actually notice it and think about what those little things could mean. Every line of this fic is very deliberate, and it's so gratifying to see that you get that, that you know that nothing I've written is coincidental (including the red herrings!).

And who is this person with "a pretty fucking ugly face"? I only have, like, three possibilities in mind, and their ugliness is debatable.LOL, I personally don't find any of these guys ugly. The world of football is surreally attractive. But Fernando and Rubén obviously disagree with me. (Ignore the crazy writer talking about her characters as though they exercise independent thought.) (Also ignore the crazy writer talking about herself in the third person

[dgxku]

um, i totally cant compete with the above comments of epic proportions, so what i'll say is -

your writing is sublime. your narrative control is fucking superb, your characters are compelling.

quite simply? you go, girlfriend

[casi_casi]

Ohh you're so, so kind. Thank you infinitely. ♥

[txorakeriak]

OMG, YAY, UPDATE!!!! :D And OMG, it's once again absolutely amazing.

I've probably told you this a thousand times already but dude, you're a fantastic writer. Your sentences are so eloquent that I can't help but feel insignificant and dejected about my own stuff, and your choice of words is perfect. It really seems like creating amazing images and intense atmospheres is the easiest thing in the world. The first part of this chapter, the one about David and his thoughts and feelings on what I assume to be the day he was murdered, is a perfect example. David is a mess, torn between resignation (because he knows what will happen) and fear (because he doesn't know who will kill him), and thanks to your clever writing I felt exactly the same as I was reading it.

And oh, the last line of the first part almost made me squee - I'm not sure if you know that I adore Pirates of the Caribbean, which features the "dead men tell no tales" line

[casi_casi]

Oh my goodness. I'm sorry for taking a while to reply to this comment, but I must admit that I didn't quite know where to begin! I do now, though. The first and most important thing that I must say is that you should never feel insignificant and/or dejected about your writing! Particularly not because of something that something else has done. Your standards, I know, are very high, but it does nobody any good to measure themselves against anyone else. I'm all for self-improvement - I'm my own worst critic and I love feedback because I think it leads to said self-improvement. But I know that the way I write / formulate characters / structure my plot will always be different to everyone else's, so there's no sense in holding myself to anyone else's standards. You have your own style of writing - it's warm, funny and effective, it's unique to you and has done nothing to deserve being compared to any other works

[txorakeriak]

LOL, that's what I always feel like when I get comments to fic, so I understand perfectly. *hugs* I'm just glad that you liked my comment despite its incoherency and all the babbling and the questions and my idiocy and everything.

Of course you're right, it's silly to compare one's own stuff to others' stuff, but I can't help doing it. As you said, my standards are very high, and even more so when it comes to stuff I've done (practically I'd be the happiest if people just took my ideas and then wrote the fics themselves XDD). Thanks for putting up with my silliness, and for giving me such kind compliments - though of course it's YOU who should be getting compliments because this is your fic. *big huggles*

By the way, there is no scale in the world great enough to measure the pride I feel when you say all these things about this fic or about the fact that you continued writing football fic. <3

And the Pirates quote was intentional? AH, I LOVE YOU. *glomps you madly