i just don't, ok?
i don't update anymore. i kinda feel weird updating now. it's like when you skip a class. then the next class rolls around, and you missed something in the class before so you'll be lost so you just don't go. and then you get into a huge cycle and stop going except for when there's a test. not that i ever did that
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"i never play guitar anymore and i'm sorry. i'm sorry to myself and to others. i'm either too tired too busy or my room is too messy and i can't play guitar in a messy room." This saddens me - you have no idea how much I relate. Maybe there are two kinds of being tired/being busy: good and bad. The bad kind chokes your soul, steals your motivation, makes your life shallow. The good kind comes from exhausting yourself with all the love you put into what you do. Cleaning the room so you'll be happy to play guitar in it, staying up all night because your inspiration wouldn't let you sleep, building something worthy of pride - that's the good kind of tired. You can see the difference: satisfaction. The trick is to continually work hard to defeat laziness, mentally and physically. Example: what if you just let Christmas pass because you didn't feel like putting up the tree? What a damned sad Christmas that would be! On the ( ... )
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