It is often that we mistake greatness for nothing. from 3.2.04
I would feel like a snail without its shell. Everyone has always stood in the way of the journal. My mother urged me to go out and play. My brothers teased me, stole it, and made fun of it. It was a secret from my girl friends in school. Everyone said I would outgrow it. In Havana my aunt said it would spoil my eyes, frighten the boys away....
....I want to live only for ecstasy. Small doses, moderate loves, all half-shades, leave me cold. I like extravagance. Letters which give the postman a stiff back to carry, books which overflow from their covers, sexuality which bursts the thermometers.
The Diary of Anaïs Nin Volume I: 1931-1934 - Anaïs Nin
My words are everything to me // My diary/journal is everything to me. This does not mean I think I am the greatest author in the world, or that everything can be explained the way I want it to be explained. I am honest, and I express my emotions better with written words than with spoken language any day of the week. This is why my journal is friends only. It wasn't like that before, but perhaps paranoia has snuck up on me while I was not looking and caught me right in the middle of it. Perhaps not. But for now, I will assume the former and be paranoid about it.
I write random things in here. It isn't as if there is one me. I am me, but I am everywhere. My self encompasses others that are hardly what you would think. I like to think of things in different ways and I contradict myself many times, not because I want to, but because I change that often. Some people think they can stereotype me. But it is impossible to put me into a group because I fit into all of them, or maybe, I just think I do, and my shyness brings into view an ideal that perhaps one day I might reach.8.15.2008. I think I will always consider myself a shy person, and perhaps that is the way it is meant to be. There are so many “maybe ifs and if onlys” in life, that it is impossible to even try to think of all of them, so I shall leave those kinds of things to others now.
At 17, I was diagnosed with depression. I considered it a failure, a reason that I wasn’t good enough and why I couldn’t deal with things. As I grew older, I realized that my depression wasn’t something I could stop, nor was it something that was as horrible as I thought it was. If that frightens you, I won’t be offended. I try not to feel sorry for myself, and I don’t try to obtain sympathy from others, because if I did, what would be the point? I think they’d only see me as something pathetic, and I do not believe that. Most of the time now, though, I have issues with anxiety.
I tend to go on random tangents, and while at times those can be enlightening to me, usually they are just words. But words are okay.Add me if you wish, I'll most likely add you back. If not, well, it was not meant to be.
I love finding new people to talk to. Don't hesitate in life. Do/Get what you want before it is too late.Update 11.28.10
I currently am working towards my degree in Veterinary Technology. So my life at the moment is not my own. It's a price I must pay in order to be who I want to be. In August of 2011, I finished my degree in Veterinary Technology. Now what else shall I pursue?
EDIT: I'll put the finishing touches on this soon, I promise. [I don't think this will ever be truly finished, though.]
....I want to live only for ecstasy. Small doses, moderate loves, all half-shades, leave me cold. I like extravagance. Letters which give the postman a stiff back to carry, books which overflow from their covers, sexuality which bursts the thermometers.
The Diary of Anaïs Nin Volume I: 1931-1934 - Anaïs Nin
My words are everything to me // My diary/journal is everything to me. This does not mean I think I am the greatest author in the world, or that everything can be explained the way I want it to be explained. I am honest, and I express my emotions better with written words than with spoken language any day of the week. This is why my journal is friends only. It wasn't like that before, but perhaps paranoia has snuck up on me while I was not looking and caught me right in the middle of it. Perhaps not. But for now, I will assume the former and be paranoid about it.
I write random things in here. It isn't as if there is one me. I am me, but I am everywhere. My self encompasses others that are hardly what you would think. I like to think of things in different ways and I contradict myself many times, not because I want to, but because I change that often. Some people think they can stereotype me. But it is impossible to put me into a group because I fit into all of them, or maybe, I just think I do, and my shyness brings into view an ideal that perhaps one day I might reach.8.15.2008. I think I will always consider myself a shy person, and perhaps that is the way it is meant to be. There are so many “maybe ifs and if onlys” in life, that it is impossible to even try to think of all of them, so I shall leave those kinds of things to others now.
At 17, I was diagnosed with depression. I considered it a failure, a reason that I wasn’t good enough and why I couldn’t deal with things. As I grew older, I realized that my depression wasn’t something I could stop, nor was it something that was as horrible as I thought it was. If that frightens you, I won’t be offended. I try not to feel sorry for myself, and I don’t try to obtain sympathy from others, because if I did, what would be the point? I think they’d only see me as something pathetic, and I do not believe that. Most of the time now, though, I have issues with anxiety.
I tend to go on random tangents, and while at times those can be enlightening to me, usually they are just words. But words are okay.Add me if you wish, I'll most likely add you back. If not, well, it was not meant to be.
I love finding new people to talk to. Don't hesitate in life. Do/Get what you want before it is too late.Update 11.28.10
I currently am working towards my degree in Veterinary Technology. So my life at the moment is not my own. It's a price I must pay in order to be who I want to be. In August of 2011, I finished my degree in Veterinary Technology. Now what else shall I pursue?
EDIT: I'll put the finishing touches on this soon, I promise. [I don't think this will ever be truly finished, though.]