Yes, Cassie appears to have enjoyed the violence. Kelvin didn't, though, poor lamb. He's only ninety-seven. hopefully his next mission will be less... messy.
I liked the first half of it better than the second. I think there are two reasons for this. One is that in the second half there were more rather long excerpts of the badfic. I tend to glance over them if they are more than three lines long. Personally, I prefer to use the excerpts as punch lines (describe or paraphrase what happened and then one short quote to drive the point home).
The second reason is that I had no idea the Sue had aged thirteen years until she was charged. Well, I had figured out she had aged, after I first spend a rather long WTF moment of why is this Elf chatting up a five-year-old. A mention of how much time had progressed when the agents stepped into the scene at the top of part two would have been helpful.
Other than that, nice mission. Good agent interaction.
Thank you very much. These are some really useful tips you've given me, and I'll do my best to remember them when it comes round to the next mission.
And I have to admit the agent interactions were probably the best bits to write. :D When you're giggling at a scene as you write it, you can't help but be inspired.
*grins* I think she'll avoid that from now on, though. She wasn't too impressed with what she'd done when she calmed down, and the consequences, i.e the arrest in the middle of the Christmas party, shook her up quite a bit.
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Elbereth? Seriously, Elbereth? Wow, that's bad. *shakes head*
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And yes, stealing the name of a Vala ranks pretty high on the killworthy charges meter.
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...Actually, it probably won't.
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Cassie: Blood? Where? *looks around curiously*
Nat: *glares* Now look what you did.
(No worries.)
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Nice mission.
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And thank you.
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I liked the first half of it better than the second. I think there are two reasons for this. One is that in the second half there were more rather long excerpts of the badfic. I tend to glance over them if they are more than three lines long. Personally, I prefer to use the excerpts as punch lines (describe or paraphrase what happened and then one short quote to drive the point home).
The second reason is that I had no idea the Sue had aged thirteen years until she was charged. Well, I had figured out she had aged, after I first spend a rather long WTF moment of why is this Elf chatting up a five-year-old. A mention of how much time had progressed when the agents stepped into the scene at the top of part two would have been helpful.
Other than that, nice mission. Good agent interaction.
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And I have to admit the agent interactions were probably the best bits to write. :D When you're giggling at a scene as you write it, you can't help but be inspired.
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Very true. I love it when I'm writing a mission and keep sniggering and sometimes plain laughing out loud. Great missions those are.
Good luck on your next mission. Break a leg (you know whose, and accidentally, of course).
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