Yes, I am one of Those
This morning my mom and I braved the crazies and went to K-Mart at 6:30 for their 7:00 opening. We were about the 12th people inline. It wasn't terrible, we had some hot tea to sip on while the eye crusties cleared away.
At 7:00 the doors were open and the theme from the Kentucky Derby was playing in the background.
STAMPEDE!
WATCH YOUR YOUNG ONES!
If you hesitated for even one second, you were stomped to death.
I can see the Headlines now: "23 Year Old Girl Killed Buying Gameboy Advance". Terrible. And the sad thing was I believe last year an old woman was killed at a Wal-Mart because she was stomped to death... terrible.
Within seconds my mom and I were seperated.
"Mom? Mom, where are you???" I thought she was one of the unlucky ones and I would have to buy my gameboy advance and go find her body at the K-Mart threshold.
I refused to run to the electronics department, but by walking fast, my arm swung and I nailed the man walking next to me dead center in the crotch. I was pretty embarrassed.
"Oh, excuse me! I'm sorry!"
"It's ok. I don't want to run..." he glances over at me "... but that doesn't mean I can't." And he took off at a sprint. I felt the need to move faster because I could hear the stampeding wilderbeests running up behind me. I was the weak prey and they were the fiercest preditors.
I started to walk faster. And faster... and faster before I knew it I joined the stampede! We are all running top speed to the eletronics department.
I was lucky, I was able to by-pass all the people wanting the 20" flatscreen tv for $80 and ran off to the corner where my beloved gameboy advance awaits me.
There's a worker who was standing at the gameboy display with her back towards me. I didn't want to be rude and but I should have. Within seconds the women flocked to us like flies on a nice pile of shit. The worker was nearly pinned to the case passing out gameboys. The women wanting the gameboys just kept coming.
I saw my mom out of the corner of my eye and she inspired me to plow through the women and demand my gameboy like all of them.
"I would like a red gameboy advance and a game."
She opens the case, hands me the gameboy.
"The ad said that you get two free games..."
"Just tell them at the register and they'll hand them to you."
She went on to the next person in line.
"Excuse me, I would like to buy a game. Donkey Kong Country two."
She gets the game for me and I meet my mom, who is smart enough to hop inline. Ya see, K-Mart said you had to buy all electronics stuff in the electronics department and anyone who has ever stepped into a k-Mart electronics department knows that they are rather small in size. Oh well, tis the season for great bargins!
My mom is standing there holding a DVD/VCR player.
"What's that for?"
"For Heather and Todd... for thier kitchen, so they can play cds."
"That's not a cd player, mom."
"What? Oh shit."
"Stay here, I'll go hunt for the cd player." I hand her my game and gameboy and cute little Starbucks travel mug and fall to the ground. I found that the best way to get out of the line was to literally crawl out of line.
I ran around and found the cd player. I crawl back inline completely unscathed.
"Here's the cd player" and I grab my goodies from my mom.
"There was a woman wearing red who wants this DVD/VCR player. Can you go find her and tell her she can have this one?"
"Mom, everyone is wearing red... even you and me! I don't know where she is. Let's start the bidding at $30 for this." The man standing behind me giggled.
"You want it? $30" I said.
"No, no... I just came in for the DVD-rom. My wife and kids are at home sleeping. I don't even know if they know I'm gone."
All of a sudden my mom shouts out, "There she is!! Give her the player!"
I crawl out of line and my mom, tosses the box at me. She would give Ben Roethlisberger a run for his money. I hand the woman the box and say, "My mom can't read. Her loss is your gain!" She stared at me. "We picked up the wrong box, do you want this?"
"Yes!"
No 'thank you so much' or 'isn't that sweet'! Bitch.
I return to the line with my mom. Within minutes we befriend the people standing near us. One woman who was also buying the beloved Gameboy Advance screamed to the cashier "How many of the free games do you have left?" She used to work at K-Mart and if she told us once, she told us a thousand times.
The cashier looked down and said something to the manager. "How many need them?"
At least 5 people raised their hands.
K-Mart only had three left.
The cashier walked through the line and started passing out the bundles. She looked at my mom and handed my mom a package. I yelled that there are at least three people behind us that need them.
The cashier passed me the final two and told me to give them to the next people inline buying them. Well, of course the third person got pissed off and stormed out of line.
I was relieved that I got my free games (they kinda suck, but it's cool). Together my mom and I used teamwork and unspoken communication to get exactly what we wanted and get out ASAP.
My red Gameboy Advance is my best friend. Later in the day I went back down to K-Mart to buy some more games. I purchased Harry Potter two and three for gameboy advance. I am going to go blind staring at the screen, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
Well, my turkey coma is about to kick in, I think it would be safer if I passed out on my bed versus my computer desk.
I will bid you all a goodnight.
At 7:00 the doors were open and the theme from the Kentucky Derby was playing in the background.
STAMPEDE!
WATCH YOUR YOUNG ONES!
If you hesitated for even one second, you were stomped to death.
I can see the Headlines now: "23 Year Old Girl Killed Buying Gameboy Advance". Terrible. And the sad thing was I believe last year an old woman was killed at a Wal-Mart because she was stomped to death... terrible.
Within seconds my mom and I were seperated.
"Mom? Mom, where are you???" I thought she was one of the unlucky ones and I would have to buy my gameboy advance and go find her body at the K-Mart threshold.
I refused to run to the electronics department, but by walking fast, my arm swung and I nailed the man walking next to me dead center in the crotch. I was pretty embarrassed.
"Oh, excuse me! I'm sorry!"
"It's ok. I don't want to run..." he glances over at me "... but that doesn't mean I can't." And he took off at a sprint. I felt the need to move faster because I could hear the stampeding wilderbeests running up behind me. I was the weak prey and they were the fiercest preditors.
I started to walk faster. And faster... and faster before I knew it I joined the stampede! We are all running top speed to the eletronics department.
I was lucky, I was able to by-pass all the people wanting the 20" flatscreen tv for $80 and ran off to the corner where my beloved gameboy advance awaits me.
There's a worker who was standing at the gameboy display with her back towards me. I didn't want to be rude and but I should have. Within seconds the women flocked to us like flies on a nice pile of shit. The worker was nearly pinned to the case passing out gameboys. The women wanting the gameboys just kept coming.
I saw my mom out of the corner of my eye and she inspired me to plow through the women and demand my gameboy like all of them.
"I would like a red gameboy advance and a game."
She opens the case, hands me the gameboy.
"The ad said that you get two free games..."
"Just tell them at the register and they'll hand them to you."
She went on to the next person in line.
"Excuse me, I would like to buy a game. Donkey Kong Country two."
She gets the game for me and I meet my mom, who is smart enough to hop inline. Ya see, K-Mart said you had to buy all electronics stuff in the electronics department and anyone who has ever stepped into a k-Mart electronics department knows that they are rather small in size. Oh well, tis the season for great bargins!
My mom is standing there holding a DVD/VCR player.
"What's that for?"
"For Heather and Todd... for thier kitchen, so they can play cds."
"That's not a cd player, mom."
"What? Oh shit."
"Stay here, I'll go hunt for the cd player." I hand her my game and gameboy and cute little Starbucks travel mug and fall to the ground. I found that the best way to get out of the line was to literally crawl out of line.
I ran around and found the cd player. I crawl back inline completely unscathed.
"Here's the cd player" and I grab my goodies from my mom.
"There was a woman wearing red who wants this DVD/VCR player. Can you go find her and tell her she can have this one?"
"Mom, everyone is wearing red... even you and me! I don't know where she is. Let's start the bidding at $30 for this." The man standing behind me giggled.
"You want it? $30" I said.
"No, no... I just came in for the DVD-rom. My wife and kids are at home sleeping. I don't even know if they know I'm gone."
All of a sudden my mom shouts out, "There she is!! Give her the player!"
I crawl out of line and my mom, tosses the box at me. She would give Ben Roethlisberger a run for his money. I hand the woman the box and say, "My mom can't read. Her loss is your gain!" She stared at me. "We picked up the wrong box, do you want this?"
"Yes!"
No 'thank you so much' or 'isn't that sweet'! Bitch.
I return to the line with my mom. Within minutes we befriend the people standing near us. One woman who was also buying the beloved Gameboy Advance screamed to the cashier "How many of the free games do you have left?" She used to work at K-Mart and if she told us once, she told us a thousand times.
The cashier looked down and said something to the manager. "How many need them?"
At least 5 people raised their hands.
K-Mart only had three left.
The cashier walked through the line and started passing out the bundles. She looked at my mom and handed my mom a package. I yelled that there are at least three people behind us that need them.
The cashier passed me the final two and told me to give them to the next people inline buying them. Well, of course the third person got pissed off and stormed out of line.
I was relieved that I got my free games (they kinda suck, but it's cool). Together my mom and I used teamwork and unspoken communication to get exactly what we wanted and get out ASAP.
My red Gameboy Advance is my best friend. Later in the day I went back down to K-Mart to buy some more games. I purchased Harry Potter two and three for gameboy advance. I am going to go blind staring at the screen, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
Well, my turkey coma is about to kick in, I think it would be safer if I passed out on my bed versus my computer desk.
I will bid you all a goodnight.