i've buffered myself
with too many dizzy-headed cigarettes
and droll
foibles
over and over again
gilded by slack-jawed
indifference


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in the year and a half that i've lived in this apartment, i've discovered many routes of commuting back and forth between school, such as ( Read more... )

i had a dream that we were in another one of those claustrophobic places beset by social liaisons. everyone skirted around each other with ease, like clockwork, laughing and smiling and talking and touching. and i fell asleep alone on a bed in the farthest corner. and had a dream that i was walking down the familiar alleyway between the shrine ( Read more... )

Carmelita discovered that the most intimate moment rendered to humankind was dying with someone. In final, staggering breaths, the euphoria of knowing another living thing was being extinguished so close, so beautifully concrete - the very thought was beyond any orgasm she had ever known ( Read more... )

life's been moving at a frenetic pace again. on weekends, i spend the days with anna working on our production. lots of loading and unloading, lighting setups, bothersome logistics, and craft fucking services. it's amazing to be able to shoot on color 16mm though, and exciting (if nerve-wracking and soulsucking) to see the story come together. ( Read more... )

california governor schwarzenegger's office is accepting calls from anywhere regarding their marriage equality bill. it passed both houses of their legislature, but needs the governor's approval. it's all automated, so you don't have to talk to anyone ( Read more... )

june 25, 2005 ( Read more... )

ON ME DIT QUE JE SUIS PARESSEUX.
QUE JE NE FAIT QUE CE QUE JE VEUX.

two words: fuck. permits.

my just-begun blacklist
receptionist at EIDC
receptionist at Park Film Office

surely more to come...

in other news:


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mirrors are finicky creatures.

it's funny how self-perception changes depending on your looking glass of choice. at home and in familiar environments, the light always seems soft, rendering one's reflection attractive. it's almost a validation, like oh yeah, that's me.then it always seems like they attune to your presence. when one feels ( Read more... )