SGA - Five Times Rodney McKay Babysat the Athosians
Okay, so this is me finally posting an entry for the "kidfic" square on my cliche_bingo card. Full disclosure: I had three separate stories started and stopped for this one before I finally got around to finishing this one. I might get around to finishing the others some day, but want to get a few more squares filled first.
Title: Five Times Rodney McKay Babysat the Athosians
Length: ~ 1,200 words
Rating: PG
Spoilers/Season: None, really, if you’ve seen the show.
Synopsis: The amazing thing was, they kept asking him to do it.
Author’s Notes: For the cliche_bingo entry “kidfic”
Disclaimer: Not mine, people with a lot of money own them. I’m just borrowing them to play and making no profit from this.
~~~~~~~~~~
1.
Rodney looked around at all the sets of beady little eyes gazing up at him in adoration. He neatly tucked a blanket around Nikka, the youngest of the group, and settled back in the incredibly comfortable rocking chair. Making a mental note to see if he could get one of these things for himself, he began, “There was a little girl, who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead. She refused to take a nap so we fed her to the Wraith.”
As Sheppard’s voice screamed in his ear even louder than the wailing of the children, he made another mental note. This one was to make sure all comms were turned off before he began storytime.
2.
“You locked them in a room?” Elizabeth asked incredulously.
“We had a power spike sending feedback into four separate naquada generators,” he tried to explain.
“Rodney...” Sheppard growled.
“I put them in a secure and shielded area, made sure they had food and water, and keyed the door to only accept command codes. They were safer there than they were anywhere else in the city,” he defended himself.
“Halling doesn’t have a command code!” Sheppard yelled, which, okay, was a good point, but he had been in a hurry and he did save the city and did almost get blown up in the process. He probably should have told people where he put the kids before he ran off and got a three-day infirmary stay though.
3.
“I did it!” Iyela squealed, pumping her fists in the air just the way he had shown her.
He leaned over her shoulder to check her work. “Very good!” he enthused, patting her awkwardly on the head. He typed in a few lines of code and sent the results over to his own file.
“Whatcha doing?” Sheppard asked, peeking his head through the door to the room.
“Teaching them life skills,” Rodney replied, moving over to his own computer to finish the work.
Sheppard raised his eyebrows and sauntered in to look at Iyela and Jainon’s accomplishments. “You taught them how to hack into one of our databases?”
Rodney shook his head. “No, just a couple of personal file folders.”
Sheppard sighed and crossed his arms. “You know that’s not a good thing, right?”
Rodney just waived it off. “Like it’s any worse than Ronon teaching them how to juggle knives. At least this has a practical use.” He pulled up a file and forwarded it to the largest viewing screen, to the delight of the gathered children. “Besides, Volberg had ‘Pocahontas’ and wasn’t sharing.”
Sheppard just blinked, taking the offered bowl of popcorn by rote.
“It makes it even better that his system was hacked by a seven year old,” Rodney added gleefully. Turning to his charges, he ordered, “Grab a seat, the colors of the wind wait for no one!”
4.
“You dropped him!” Teyla accused.
“Well, technically threw him but I don’t suppose that’s helping, huh?” Rodney clarified, then amended when he saw the look on her face.
“McKay, what reason could you possibly have for throwing a two year old off a balcony?” Sheppard asked, peering over the nurse’s shoulder to make sure said two year old really and truly was okay.
Rodney crossed his arms in front of him defensively and explained, “The fire alarms started going off in the section where we were engaged in the velocity experiments.” Which, okay, less experiments and more with the racing of remote-controlled cars, but whatever. “The others had made it to the stairs before the emergency bulkheads closed, but he had lagged behind. We were stuck and I needed to see if there really was a fire or if it was the system malfunctioning yet again in that area.”
“And the dropping comes in where?” John prodded.
Rodney shifted uncomfortably. “There was a balcony at the end of the hallway that was still open. A couple of your Marines were down there trying to see if the fire was contained or not. They grabbed a tarp from Botany and caught him.”
“And the fire?” Teyla asked, looking oddly calmer now.
“Wasn’t actually a fire,” Rodney admitted. “I was able to hack in and find the glitch and repair it. Everything should be running fine now.”
He spared a glance at the big brown eyes staring up at him from the infirmary gurney, expecting trauma and finding a grin. “Can we do that again Uncle Rodney?”
“No,” the three adults answered as one.
5.
Rodney came to in a haze, finding his head aching and his mouth dry and cottony. His skin felt like a million pins and needles, and his heart was racing. Epinephrine. Great.
He pried his sticky eyes open to slowly focus on the copper tiling of the infirmary ceiling. There was a steady, if a bit fast, beeping off to the side, but it was drowned out by a screeching voice. Correction, multiple screeching voices.
“What the hell were they thinking?” Iyela demanded.
“He could have died!” Lorien added.
“Are you trying to traumatize us for life?” Jaren chimed in.
Rodney forced his too-thick tongue to work just enough to ask, “What’s going on?”
“Your great defenders have been berating the kitchen staff and the nurses for the past half hour,” John said from somewhere to his left. “Apparently Iyela found your epi pen and jabbed you with it before your throat closed completely. They think they got all the needle fragments out of your thigh.” Well, that explained that particular pain on top of all the others.
The girl in question stormed over to his bedside. “The morons in the kitchen added lemon to the cookies today,” she tattled in a huff. “What kind of imbecile gives lemon cookies to someone with a citrus allergy?” she questioned.
“The kind that better get PT for like, forever,” Jaren replied.
The bed shifted slightly as Sheppard leaned against it. “The other three wanted to be here, but are busy pulverizing the remaining cookies and washing them down the sink on Iyela’s orders,” he said mildly.
Rodney nodded dumbly and turned to face the knotted hair wonder staring down at him. “I saved your life,” she declared. “That’s worth at least an extra hour computer time.”
“Deal,” he managed before taking a sip of the blessed water John was offering him. He must have lectured the eldest of the kids months ago about what to do on the off chance he couldn’t reach the pen himself. That she remembered and was able to do it was a testament to the fact she was very likely going to end up as one of his lab assistants some day.
“Teyla would like to congratulate them on their quick thinking,” Sheppard said as the trio was shooed out the door. “She’d also like to talk to you about the use of certain language and attitudes around the kids,” he added with a meaningful narrowing of his eyes.
Rodney was about to ask what he meant, but could hear Jaren still ranting out in the hallway, “What, were they afraid we were going to get scurvy?”
Figuring he could withstand yet another lecture, he just shrugged and drifted back to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~
Edit: Now with bonus icon:
~~~~~~~~~~
Feedback is always welcomed.
Title: Five Times Rodney McKay Babysat the Athosians
Length: ~ 1,200 words
Rating: PG
Spoilers/Season: None, really, if you’ve seen the show.
Synopsis: The amazing thing was, they kept asking him to do it.
Author’s Notes: For the cliche_bingo entry “kidfic”
Disclaimer: Not mine, people with a lot of money own them. I’m just borrowing them to play and making no profit from this.
~~~~~~~~~~
1.
Rodney looked around at all the sets of beady little eyes gazing up at him in adoration. He neatly tucked a blanket around Nikka, the youngest of the group, and settled back in the incredibly comfortable rocking chair. Making a mental note to see if he could get one of these things for himself, he began, “There was a little girl, who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead. She refused to take a nap so we fed her to the Wraith.”
As Sheppard’s voice screamed in his ear even louder than the wailing of the children, he made another mental note. This one was to make sure all comms were turned off before he began storytime.
2.
“You locked them in a room?” Elizabeth asked incredulously.
“We had a power spike sending feedback into four separate naquada generators,” he tried to explain.
“Rodney...” Sheppard growled.
“I put them in a secure and shielded area, made sure they had food and water, and keyed the door to only accept command codes. They were safer there than they were anywhere else in the city,” he defended himself.
“Halling doesn’t have a command code!” Sheppard yelled, which, okay, was a good point, but he had been in a hurry and he did save the city and did almost get blown up in the process. He probably should have told people where he put the kids before he ran off and got a three-day infirmary stay though.
3.
“I did it!” Iyela squealed, pumping her fists in the air just the way he had shown her.
He leaned over her shoulder to check her work. “Very good!” he enthused, patting her awkwardly on the head. He typed in a few lines of code and sent the results over to his own file.
“Whatcha doing?” Sheppard asked, peeking his head through the door to the room.
“Teaching them life skills,” Rodney replied, moving over to his own computer to finish the work.
Sheppard raised his eyebrows and sauntered in to look at Iyela and Jainon’s accomplishments. “You taught them how to hack into one of our databases?”
Rodney shook his head. “No, just a couple of personal file folders.”
Sheppard sighed and crossed his arms. “You know that’s not a good thing, right?”
Rodney just waived it off. “Like it’s any worse than Ronon teaching them how to juggle knives. At least this has a practical use.” He pulled up a file and forwarded it to the largest viewing screen, to the delight of the gathered children. “Besides, Volberg had ‘Pocahontas’ and wasn’t sharing.”
Sheppard just blinked, taking the offered bowl of popcorn by rote.
“It makes it even better that his system was hacked by a seven year old,” Rodney added gleefully. Turning to his charges, he ordered, “Grab a seat, the colors of the wind wait for no one!”
4.
“You dropped him!” Teyla accused.
“Well, technically threw him but I don’t suppose that’s helping, huh?” Rodney clarified, then amended when he saw the look on her face.
“McKay, what reason could you possibly have for throwing a two year old off a balcony?” Sheppard asked, peering over the nurse’s shoulder to make sure said two year old really and truly was okay.
Rodney crossed his arms in front of him defensively and explained, “The fire alarms started going off in the section where we were engaged in the velocity experiments.” Which, okay, less experiments and more with the racing of remote-controlled cars, but whatever. “The others had made it to the stairs before the emergency bulkheads closed, but he had lagged behind. We were stuck and I needed to see if there really was a fire or if it was the system malfunctioning yet again in that area.”
“And the dropping comes in where?” John prodded.
Rodney shifted uncomfortably. “There was a balcony at the end of the hallway that was still open. A couple of your Marines were down there trying to see if the fire was contained or not. They grabbed a tarp from Botany and caught him.”
“And the fire?” Teyla asked, looking oddly calmer now.
“Wasn’t actually a fire,” Rodney admitted. “I was able to hack in and find the glitch and repair it. Everything should be running fine now.”
He spared a glance at the big brown eyes staring up at him from the infirmary gurney, expecting trauma and finding a grin. “Can we do that again Uncle Rodney?”
“No,” the three adults answered as one.
5.
Rodney came to in a haze, finding his head aching and his mouth dry and cottony. His skin felt like a million pins and needles, and his heart was racing. Epinephrine. Great.
He pried his sticky eyes open to slowly focus on the copper tiling of the infirmary ceiling. There was a steady, if a bit fast, beeping off to the side, but it was drowned out by a screeching voice. Correction, multiple screeching voices.
“What the hell were they thinking?” Iyela demanded.
“He could have died!” Lorien added.
“Are you trying to traumatize us for life?” Jaren chimed in.
Rodney forced his too-thick tongue to work just enough to ask, “What’s going on?”
“Your great defenders have been berating the kitchen staff and the nurses for the past half hour,” John said from somewhere to his left. “Apparently Iyela found your epi pen and jabbed you with it before your throat closed completely. They think they got all the needle fragments out of your thigh.” Well, that explained that particular pain on top of all the others.
The girl in question stormed over to his bedside. “The morons in the kitchen added lemon to the cookies today,” she tattled in a huff. “What kind of imbecile gives lemon cookies to someone with a citrus allergy?” she questioned.
“The kind that better get PT for like, forever,” Jaren replied.
The bed shifted slightly as Sheppard leaned against it. “The other three wanted to be here, but are busy pulverizing the remaining cookies and washing them down the sink on Iyela’s orders,” he said mildly.
Rodney nodded dumbly and turned to face the knotted hair wonder staring down at him. “I saved your life,” she declared. “That’s worth at least an extra hour computer time.”
“Deal,” he managed before taking a sip of the blessed water John was offering him. He must have lectured the eldest of the kids months ago about what to do on the off chance he couldn’t reach the pen himself. That she remembered and was able to do it was a testament to the fact she was very likely going to end up as one of his lab assistants some day.
“Teyla would like to congratulate them on their quick thinking,” Sheppard said as the trio was shooed out the door. “She’d also like to talk to you about the use of certain language and attitudes around the kids,” he added with a meaningful narrowing of his eyes.
Rodney was about to ask what he meant, but could hear Jaren still ranting out in the hallway, “What, were they afraid we were going to get scurvy?”
Figuring he could withstand yet another lecture, he just shrugged and drifted back to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~
Edit: Now with bonus icon:
~~~~~~~~~~
Feedback is always welcomed.