Fic: "Barnacles, Jared Padalecki, and Other 'Clingy' Things"
Title: Barnacles, Jared Padalecki, and Other 'Clingy' Things
Characters/Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~1750
Author’s Note: Written for spn_j2_xmas exchange. Based on the prompt: Jared/Jensen; slow easy slide from friendship to sex. It's a college AU.
Summary: Barnacles are Jensen Ackles' least favorite arthropod.
Barnacles are Jensen Ackles’ least favorite arthropod.
This is actually more telling than one might think, as he has absolutely loathed lobsters ever since an unfortunate camping experience in Maine when he was a child.
But no, it is barnacles that Jensen decides are the absolute worst.
Because barnacles, you see, stick to things.
The little crustaceans just barge right into a perfectly good tide pool and attach themselves to whatever the hell they want without so much as a by-your-leave.
Jensen can relate to the poor tide pools, because if he were a tide pool than a certain Jared Padalecki would be the proverbial barnacle.
Jensen had never really given much thought to which crustacean he would liken Jared to before, but the fact remains that if Jared were to suddenly morph into something of a phylum other than Chordata, it would be the damn barnacles of the fucking phylum Arthropoda.
Just for the record.
This train of thought started, as so many things do, when he came to one morning with a hangover that was just plain ridiculous and a best friend stuck to his side, wrapped around his limbs, and breathing on his face.
This very same scenario happened rather a lot since they started rooming together.
It was a random twist of fate (or perhaps twenty bucks and some smooth talking used to bribe the hot chick named Rebecca who worked in the Housing office) that brought Jared and Jensen together as roommates for their sophomore year at NYU.
They had met the year earlier, bonding over mutual withdrawal symptoms from all things Texan.
Barbecue was the most pressing issue and their crusade to find a decent BBQ joint in New York City was still in progress even if was proving to be mostly fruitless.
Talk of Texas had turned to sports and good-natured ribbing of the other’s teams (Jensen still maintains that the Spurs suck ass, and not in a good way) which had slid into whining about required freshman intro courses.
And it was the whining that lead to their meeting up the next day so that Jared could explain why Waiting for Godot is more than a shitty play about two dudes sitting around for some dickwad that doesn’t even bother to show up (which it still was, if anyone bothered to consult Jensen) and in turn, Jensen could explain the finer points of photosynthesis and just what the fuck a phosphoenolpyruvate is.
They’re a rather odd match, to be honest.
Jared is loud, gregarious, and abstract in his thoughts, while Jensen is awkwardly shy around new people and sees things very clearly cut and grounded in reality.
But Jensen always thought that was what made them so great for each other - they were like the other half of a person, the one who makes you whole even if you never knew you were missing something.
Which brings Jensen back to why Jared is a barnacle and thus, the receptor of Jensen’s hate - he’s just so clingy and touchy-feely.
This wouldn’t normally be a problem, and in fact Jensen rather encourages it on occasion, but it would be decidedly inconvenient at the moment, as it is the morning.
He’s wrapped up in another dude’s arms and has pretty damn impressive boner going on. Awkward.
Heaven knows what anyone would think if they were to walk in and see them on the couch like this.
Now Jensen just has to ease out of Jared’s arms ever so stealthily and creep into his own bed and Jared will never be any the wiser…
“I can practically hear you thinking, you know.”
Well, shit.
“If you’re awake then why are you still laying on me, dumbass?” Jensen asks, fond exasperation coloring what is supposed to be a chiding tone.
Jared snuggles into him and giggles as he says, “Mmm, you’re comfy. And warm. Warm and comfy.”
“Well that’s wonderful for you, I’m sure, but one of us has a nine o’clock class. So if you could kindly remove your clingy hands from my body I’d be much obliged.”
“You love my clingy self, and you know it.”
Well, there’s no denying that. Jensen’s not even going to try.
“True enough. All the same, I’ve still got class. So you’re going to have to retract these tentacles of yours. I know it’s hard to resist my sexy body,” Jensen says with a wicked grin, “but you will just have to.”
Jared actually looks a bit sheepish as he unwraps himself from around Jensen and stands up, which is an emotion Jensen can’t ever remember seeing on his face before.
“Sorry ‘bout that. I’ve actually got a class, too, so I’d better get going as well. Do you, uh,” and then Jared honest to god scuffs his feet like something out of a goddamn coming-of-age movie. “Do you want to go to dinner tonight at that Italian place down the block?”
“Oh, yeah, of course.” Jensen’s a bit confused about the invitation, as they’ve gone to dinner together every night since the semester began, but Jared is weird - and Jensen’s not about to go searching for a rational explanation when he should have left for his class five minutes ago. “See you later!”
He turns and pulls on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt before he runs out the door, completely missing the huge grin and blushing cheeks on Jared’s face.
Jensen’s day is more or less downhill from there.
He’s late to class, forgot the right notebooks, broke his last pencil and had to borrow a pen from the weird girl who sits next to him and spends her hour staring at him.
Then his next class is a lab, which he would normally love, but little sleep and a shitty morning means he’s really not in the mood for a couple of hours breathing in the glorious perfume of formaldehyde.
After that he’s working at the coffee shop just off campus which, hello, is practically Heaven.
Except for today, it seems, when every douchenozzle in town decided he just had to have a coffee and he just had to come to Jensen’s work and he just had to yell in Jensen’s goddamn face over shit he didn’t even do.
Well, except for the last guy, whose order he got wrong on purpose - but that was only because he knew for a fact that mocha and soy is a shitty combination.
The added four shots of espresso would only be insult to injury, as it were.
Needless to say, when he gets back to his dorm room and flops on his bed, looking forward to a night of laziness, he just about loses it when he sees that he should have met Jared at the Italian place ten minutes earlier.
With a grumble he tugs a new shirt on and messes half-heartedly with his hair for a minute before sprinting out the door once again.
Luckily the restaurant is close by and Jensen rushes into the room only twenty minutes after he should have been there in the first place. What he sees is not at all what he expected.
Jared is sitting at a table for two, not surrounded by some of their other friends. He’s dressed in a nice button down with slacks.
And when he sees Jensen’s wild-eyed and confused look, his breath hitches and he hangs his head with a small laugh that’s utterly devoid of any humor.
That’s when Jensen realizes what he’s clearly been missing all along.
“Jared,” he calls out, his voice surprisingly calm, “Come here. We… we need to talk.”
Jared shakes his head and turns his face away saying, “Look. It’s, I mean - I misread things, I guess. I’m sorry. If you… want to change roommates I’m sure we can arrange something.”
“ No! God, no. I’d never want that. Now, come here!”
Jensen drags him from the restaurant, out into the chilly New York air that neither of them ever really got used to.
“So, you- you like me?” Jensen’s voice wavers a bit as the question hangs in the air momentarily.
“Yeah, I do. Silly me, huh?” Jared is as jocular and self-deprecating as always.
Jensen’s grin is blinding as he says, “Oh, god, Jared. I never thought I’d hear you say that.”
Jared’s head snaps up, clearly shocked.
“Wait. Does that mean you-“
“Yeah, Jared. I liked you from the moment I heard your Texas twang,” Jensen laughs with a shit-eating grin.
“Oh, fuck you.” Jared’s answering smile is wide. “Does that mean, you know, can I?”
Jensen laughs and pulls Jared close. The moment their lips meet just might be the most perfect thing he’s ever felt.
“Goddamn, I’ve been waiting a hell of a long time to do that,” Jared says.
“I have, too, douchebag!”
“We’re both just a couple of fuck-ups then, aren’t we? Can’t even say we like each other. We’re like two pre-pubescent girls, you realize that?”
“Mmm,” Jensen hums into Jared’s chest, “you’re totally the girl in this relationship. I am not wearing a pink shirt.”
“You’re the midget. Ergo, the girl.”
“Everyone’s a midget compared to you, smartass,” Jensen huffs.
Their laughter quiets but Jared still holds Jensen close.
“You don’t think… god, I’m ridiculous. Ignore me.”
“I generally do,” Jensen smiles mildly, “but what is it?”
“I just - doesn’t this seem too easy? I feel like a proper romance should have more, you know. Angst. Drama. Intrigue.”
“Oh, yes. Intrigue. I’m so disappointed that I missed out on that. But I’m leaving the day you change your name to ‘Fabio,’ just so you’re prepared.”
Jared laughs out-right at that, the full belly laugh that makes Jensen weak in the knees.
“Besides, Jared,” Jensen smiles, “We’ve pretty much been dating already.”
“Yeah, I suppose we have. Except now, I get to kiss you, which is kind of the best thing ever.”
And kissing Jared, as new as it is, is probably Jensen’s most favorite hobby. Like, ever.
Maybe barnacles aren’t so bad after all.
Characters/Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~1750
Author’s Note: Written for spn_j2_xmas exchange. Based on the prompt: Jared/Jensen; slow easy slide from friendship to sex. It's a college AU.
Summary: Barnacles are Jensen Ackles' least favorite arthropod.
Barnacles are Jensen Ackles’ least favorite arthropod.
This is actually more telling than one might think, as he has absolutely loathed lobsters ever since an unfortunate camping experience in Maine when he was a child.
But no, it is barnacles that Jensen decides are the absolute worst.
Because barnacles, you see, stick to things.
The little crustaceans just barge right into a perfectly good tide pool and attach themselves to whatever the hell they want without so much as a by-your-leave.
Jensen can relate to the poor tide pools, because if he were a tide pool than a certain Jared Padalecki would be the proverbial barnacle.
Jensen had never really given much thought to which crustacean he would liken Jared to before, but the fact remains that if Jared were to suddenly morph into something of a phylum other than Chordata, it would be the damn barnacles of the fucking phylum Arthropoda.
Just for the record.
This train of thought started, as so many things do, when he came to one morning with a hangover that was just plain ridiculous and a best friend stuck to his side, wrapped around his limbs, and breathing on his face.
This very same scenario happened rather a lot since they started rooming together.
It was a random twist of fate (or perhaps twenty bucks and some smooth talking used to bribe the hot chick named Rebecca who worked in the Housing office) that brought Jared and Jensen together as roommates for their sophomore year at NYU.
They had met the year earlier, bonding over mutual withdrawal symptoms from all things Texan.
Barbecue was the most pressing issue and their crusade to find a decent BBQ joint in New York City was still in progress even if was proving to be mostly fruitless.
Talk of Texas had turned to sports and good-natured ribbing of the other’s teams (Jensen still maintains that the Spurs suck ass, and not in a good way) which had slid into whining about required freshman intro courses.
And it was the whining that lead to their meeting up the next day so that Jared could explain why Waiting for Godot is more than a shitty play about two dudes sitting around for some dickwad that doesn’t even bother to show up (which it still was, if anyone bothered to consult Jensen) and in turn, Jensen could explain the finer points of photosynthesis and just what the fuck a phosphoenolpyruvate is.
They’re a rather odd match, to be honest.
Jared is loud, gregarious, and abstract in his thoughts, while Jensen is awkwardly shy around new people and sees things very clearly cut and grounded in reality.
But Jensen always thought that was what made them so great for each other - they were like the other half of a person, the one who makes you whole even if you never knew you were missing something.
Which brings Jensen back to why Jared is a barnacle and thus, the receptor of Jensen’s hate - he’s just so clingy and touchy-feely.
This wouldn’t normally be a problem, and in fact Jensen rather encourages it on occasion, but it would be decidedly inconvenient at the moment, as it is the morning.
He’s wrapped up in another dude’s arms and has pretty damn impressive boner going on. Awkward.
Heaven knows what anyone would think if they were to walk in and see them on the couch like this.
Now Jensen just has to ease out of Jared’s arms ever so stealthily and creep into his own bed and Jared will never be any the wiser…
“I can practically hear you thinking, you know.”
Well, shit.
“If you’re awake then why are you still laying on me, dumbass?” Jensen asks, fond exasperation coloring what is supposed to be a chiding tone.
Jared snuggles into him and giggles as he says, “Mmm, you’re comfy. And warm. Warm and comfy.”
“Well that’s wonderful for you, I’m sure, but one of us has a nine o’clock class. So if you could kindly remove your clingy hands from my body I’d be much obliged.”
“You love my clingy self, and you know it.”
Well, there’s no denying that. Jensen’s not even going to try.
“True enough. All the same, I’ve still got class. So you’re going to have to retract these tentacles of yours. I know it’s hard to resist my sexy body,” Jensen says with a wicked grin, “but you will just have to.”
Jared actually looks a bit sheepish as he unwraps himself from around Jensen and stands up, which is an emotion Jensen can’t ever remember seeing on his face before.
“Sorry ‘bout that. I’ve actually got a class, too, so I’d better get going as well. Do you, uh,” and then Jared honest to god scuffs his feet like something out of a goddamn coming-of-age movie. “Do you want to go to dinner tonight at that Italian place down the block?”
“Oh, yeah, of course.” Jensen’s a bit confused about the invitation, as they’ve gone to dinner together every night since the semester began, but Jared is weird - and Jensen’s not about to go searching for a rational explanation when he should have left for his class five minutes ago. “See you later!”
He turns and pulls on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt before he runs out the door, completely missing the huge grin and blushing cheeks on Jared’s face.
Jensen’s day is more or less downhill from there.
He’s late to class, forgot the right notebooks, broke his last pencil and had to borrow a pen from the weird girl who sits next to him and spends her hour staring at him.
Then his next class is a lab, which he would normally love, but little sleep and a shitty morning means he’s really not in the mood for a couple of hours breathing in the glorious perfume of formaldehyde.
After that he’s working at the coffee shop just off campus which, hello, is practically Heaven.
Except for today, it seems, when every douchenozzle in town decided he just had to have a coffee and he just had to come to Jensen’s work and he just had to yell in Jensen’s goddamn face over shit he didn’t even do.
Well, except for the last guy, whose order he got wrong on purpose - but that was only because he knew for a fact that mocha and soy is a shitty combination.
The added four shots of espresso would only be insult to injury, as it were.
Needless to say, when he gets back to his dorm room and flops on his bed, looking forward to a night of laziness, he just about loses it when he sees that he should have met Jared at the Italian place ten minutes earlier.
With a grumble he tugs a new shirt on and messes half-heartedly with his hair for a minute before sprinting out the door once again.
Luckily the restaurant is close by and Jensen rushes into the room only twenty minutes after he should have been there in the first place. What he sees is not at all what he expected.
Jared is sitting at a table for two, not surrounded by some of their other friends. He’s dressed in a nice button down with slacks.
And when he sees Jensen’s wild-eyed and confused look, his breath hitches and he hangs his head with a small laugh that’s utterly devoid of any humor.
That’s when Jensen realizes what he’s clearly been missing all along.
“Jared,” he calls out, his voice surprisingly calm, “Come here. We… we need to talk.”
Jared shakes his head and turns his face away saying, “Look. It’s, I mean - I misread things, I guess. I’m sorry. If you… want to change roommates I’m sure we can arrange something.”
“ No! God, no. I’d never want that. Now, come here!”
Jensen drags him from the restaurant, out into the chilly New York air that neither of them ever really got used to.
“So, you- you like me?” Jensen’s voice wavers a bit as the question hangs in the air momentarily.
“Yeah, I do. Silly me, huh?” Jared is as jocular and self-deprecating as always.
Jensen’s grin is blinding as he says, “Oh, god, Jared. I never thought I’d hear you say that.”
Jared’s head snaps up, clearly shocked.
“Wait. Does that mean you-“
“Yeah, Jared. I liked you from the moment I heard your Texas twang,” Jensen laughs with a shit-eating grin.
“Oh, fuck you.” Jared’s answering smile is wide. “Does that mean, you know, can I?”
Jensen laughs and pulls Jared close. The moment their lips meet just might be the most perfect thing he’s ever felt.
“Goddamn, I’ve been waiting a hell of a long time to do that,” Jared says.
“I have, too, douchebag!”
“We’re both just a couple of fuck-ups then, aren’t we? Can’t even say we like each other. We’re like two pre-pubescent girls, you realize that?”
“Mmm,” Jensen hums into Jared’s chest, “you’re totally the girl in this relationship. I am not wearing a pink shirt.”
“You’re the midget. Ergo, the girl.”
“Everyone’s a midget compared to you, smartass,” Jensen huffs.
Their laughter quiets but Jared still holds Jensen close.
“You don’t think… god, I’m ridiculous. Ignore me.”
“I generally do,” Jensen smiles mildly, “but what is it?”
“I just - doesn’t this seem too easy? I feel like a proper romance should have more, you know. Angst. Drama. Intrigue.”
“Oh, yes. Intrigue. I’m so disappointed that I missed out on that. But I’m leaving the day you change your name to ‘Fabio,’ just so you’re prepared.”
Jared laughs out-right at that, the full belly laugh that makes Jensen weak in the knees.
“Besides, Jared,” Jensen smiles, “We’ve pretty much been dating already.”
“Yeah, I suppose we have. Except now, I get to kiss you, which is kind of the best thing ever.”
And kissing Jared, as new as it is, is probably Jensen’s most favorite hobby. Like, ever.
Maybe barnacles aren’t so bad after all.