And her head was up in the clouds, so she tripped.
I at a loss for what to do. Those who care to read, can.
I've discovered a terrible problem in my relationship with Sam. We don't talk, we almost CAN'T talk. So far we've gotten along just fine, I know, but, in the end, when there's nothing left BUT talking? What will happen? I'd rather face a breakup now than a super painful one in the future.
He seems to have no interests, except maybe computers. I've discussed the issue with him and he didn't deny it. I enjoy talking about politics, social issues, religion, spirituality... He doesn't care for any of those things. I love him, but... I'm trying to consider the future, too. I've loved stupidly before and I don't want to do it again. I need advice, and I need time to weigh the issues... The pros and cons. I've talked to meine Schwester and Niana, and I have yet to talk to Isaac, all three people I turn to for counseling on things like this. We, Sam and I, agreed to just go solo for a while until I could figure out how I felt, but just not, at the time when he's NOT here, I realized I need to know what HE wants as well. I can't go on in a relationship that leads to nowhere, that has no fruits. It's hard to love a person who has little to no ambition and will never get any further in life than working in a computer shop in a hick town in the middle of nowhere. I refuse to give up all my important dreams, like college and a good living environment, and charity work, for just one man, no matter how strong my love for him. When we made the decision, I didn't hurt at all, nor did I cry... but the heartache is just now starting to catch up. I feel my throat tightening. Someone leave some words of wisdom, please.
Otherwise I'm just dandy. I passed all of classes so I'm going to Corpus Christie in two weeks with the orchestra! Yay! I got yet ANOTHER research paper assigned for biology, but I'm not too worried about it. I'm ready for the year to end and I'm ready to turn 15. I starting to look forwards and upwards.
Hooray.