I hope she doesn't mind but after reading midgewood58's excellent fic "Cowboys", I got a plot bunny for a Kim companion piece. Her story and this one are both based on a deleted scene from 3x22
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Tony wasn't a traitor, she knew he reacted out of love and vowed to stand by him. (No comma. Make that two sentences. Same with the sentence below.)
She leaned against the door of a stall and covered her face with her hands, it was all over.
Soon, Chase would be back and she could start the long but extremely necessary process of reconciling with her dad. (*sniff*)
So many things were up in the air but once she slept the world would make more sense. (This one's a little confusing, although coupled with the next paragraph it makes sense. Perhaps, "So many things were up in the air, but the world would make more sense once she slept.")
She saw the caller ID and even though part of her wanted to do nothing more than sink down and cry for the lives lost during the day, she couldn't help but smile. (TMI! I'd get rid of the "even though part of her" etc. I think you've well established that she's tired.)
She could imagine her dad standing next to him, leaning against the car with his eyes closed and arms folded over his chest. Giving
( ... )
She saw the caller ID and even though part of her wanted to do nothing more than sink down and cry for the lives lost during the day, she couldn't help but smile. (TMI! I'd get rid of the "even though part of her" etc. I think you've well established that she's tired.) -- I had that part about wanting to sink down just because it would seem heartless to smile when all these people were dead and Michelle had just died. So I kinda wanted to show those conflicting emotions.
Tony killed my dad. Tony shot my dad. Tony shot him in cold-blood. I want to see him dead. He deserves to die. Ah, bother, where's Athena when you need her? ;) You know, if Kim had a time-turner she could go back in time and study law to make sure Tony got punished to the fullest extent of it. ;) (suggestion, stick with either "Tony killed my dad." or "TOny shot my dad." and get rid of the other) -- here I wanted to show that she's stream of conciousness almost in her thought process. Still trying to accept that he did it. So that Tony
( ... )
Of course, I got so caught up in nitpicking that I forgot to say: <3! Excellent companion peice! You know this can go on forever, like this is the "Kill Tony" series or something. ;)
*hugs* I knew it was going to be depressing when I started it but poor Kim. Thank you so much. <3 I kind of depressed myself writing it -- but her reaction surprised me. It wasn't the violent turmoil of her mom's death - it was this quiet internal meltdown.
<3 thank you! Well after I read hers Kim kinda nudged me and went "she just killed my dad?" so I had to write something from her POV. I'm so glad that I was able to show that because her reaction was very stunned and then quickly turned into desire for revenge.
Well, since Midge's fic had Tony getting arrested I figured that was the end.
Thank you so much! They didn't surprise me, the minute I read Midge's fic I imagined Kim's reaction so had to write it. He killed her dad - left her an orphan - and if you kill someone a Bauer loves, you'd kinda better watch out.
But I think that probably in the end Chase would talk her out of it.
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She leaned against the door of a stall and covered her face with her hands, it was all over.
Soon, Chase would be back and she could start the long but extremely necessary process of reconciling with her dad. (*sniff*)
So many things were up in the air but once she slept the world would make more sense. (This one's a little confusing, although coupled with the next paragraph it makes sense. Perhaps, "So many things were up in the air, but the world would make more sense once she slept.")
She saw the caller ID and even though part of her wanted to do nothing more than sink down and cry for the lives lost during the day, she couldn't help but smile. (TMI! I'd get rid of the "even though part of her" etc. I think you've well established that she's tired.)
She could imagine her dad standing next to him, leaning against the car with his eyes closed and arms folded over his chest. Giving ( ... )
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She saw the caller ID and even though part of her wanted to do nothing more than sink down and cry for the lives lost during the day, she couldn't help but smile. (TMI! I'd get rid of the "even though part of her" etc. I think you've well established that she's tired.) -- I had that part about wanting to sink down just because it would seem heartless to smile when all these people were dead and Michelle had just died. So I kinda wanted to show those conflicting emotions.
Tony killed my dad. Tony shot my dad. Tony shot him in cold-blood. I want to see him dead. He deserves to die.
Ah, bother, where's Athena when you need her? ;) You know, if Kim had a time-turner she could go back in time and study law to make sure Tony got punished to the fullest extent of it. ;) (suggestion, stick with either "Tony killed my dad." or "TOny shot my dad." and get rid of the other) -- here I wanted to show that she's stream of conciousness almost in her thought process. Still trying to accept that he did it. So that Tony ( ... )
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BTW, so much love for that icon.
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I love how you managed to capture Kim's stunned reaction so well... especially that sense of rambling in her thoughts, loved it. Aw man.
I think I've ended up liking Kim more because of fanfics, oddly enough.
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YAY! My plan is working -- *evil laughter*
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Thank you so much! They didn't surprise me, the minute I read Midge's fic I imagined Kim's reaction so had to write it. He killed her dad - left her an orphan - and if you kill someone a Bauer loves, you'd kinda better watch out.
But I think that probably in the end Chase would talk her out of it.
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