Picked apart by vultures and looking to start again

[catkin]

On sunday, I was sitting in a suburb of Reading, bawling my eyes out and looking so pathetic that a woman came over to me, tapped me gently on the shoulder and said "whatever it is that is making you upset, God loves you". This actually made me cry even more

Comments

[zakarius]

Arrrgh, Woodley (Where we were sitting) is part of the WOKINGHAM DISTRICT :O)

But yeah, I hope you feel better now babe. Call me anytime you need to talk, I'm always here, phone is on 24/7.

Love you!

[draconis]

Hmm. Synchronicity; I am presently moving out to a new place on my own (that I'm buying) to reintvent myself. I've spent a lot of the last 10 years living in other people's shadows to some degree, defining myself through them in some ways. Its time I found where I stand on my own, re-evaluate, re-invent and re-create. Time to be me.

And just so you know, You'll be more than welcome to take a wander up to grey old Aberdeen again and hang out a bit, should you fancy it.

[catkin]

yep this is exactly it, I know what you mean about defining yourself through others. I've seen that while I love Mike/Zak a lot, so much of the last years have involved me adapting/shifting/building my life around him in some way or another, getting further away from myself all the time...and I really didn't see this.

I'm seeing the time now a good oppurtunity to really clarify and direct myself

And I'd love to pop up to Aberdeen sometime and see your new house! Actually one of my friends might end up working up there so it's even more reason to make the trek.

All the best with it!

[ruadh]

I think I'm less trying to reinvent myself, and more trying to salvage, direct, and clarify what's in there someplace. So, basically, I know what you mean. I've never really quite fallen on my feet yet, but I always seem to at least get a firm enough grip on stuff not to fall - I think you're pretty similar in that way. Ever feel like life is a series of almosts and not quites and never quite seems to gel like you'd want it to

[catkin]

Good to hear from you! and, yes that's it. Salvage, direct and clarify. When I've been doing the massage, it does feel really good but I've yet to see if I can get anything stable out of it..what I'm starting to realise is unless I really put everything into giving it a good shot then it's unlikely to go anywhere.

I definitely think that finding somewhere you can be happy and have friends is really important and often underated. I'm still happy I came back to Exeter and have made some good friends here, it helps to give me the strength and support to try and move on, or just to relax for a while and have a look around for oppurtunities. We don't always need the second and third steps planned out.

Good luck looking for jobs, I hope you find something decent somewhere. Obviously I'd like it to be Exeter ;) I know too many people now who are trying to find work, it's really difficult and annoying...keep at it though! The job I've got has a shelf life of another 18months and then I'll HAVE to be sorted out with something different..

[skygypsy]

*hugs*