(no subject)
On Tuesday August 23 I had my midwife appointment and I was 5cm dilated, 80% effaced and baby was in +1 station.
On Wednesday August 24th it was so hot, and it had been so long since any of my clothes fit properly. Usually I love wearing dresses, but I was so tired of it because no pants had fit comfortably for months and months. I told Mark that Malcolm would have to be born soon, because I was not going to get dressed again until I wasn't pregnant. At 12:30 (on early, early Thursday morning) Mark and I had sex, and that started off pretty painful contractions (just as it had been doing for weeks) so I didn't really think much of it. I lay in bed with a heating pad on my back, sometimes getting up to kneel or sway through them. They hurt, but as I had been having similar episodes for weeks I didn't believe I was in labor. At around 3:30 I was still awake with the "fake" contractions and Mark came into the bedroom to sleep, he had been up on the computer. I told him we weren't going to be able to have sex again until after Malcolm was born, because it was just too frustrating to be having contractions and not be able to sleep and not be having a baby. I was up for another hour in the living room trying to time my contractions, which were about 1:20 minutes long and about a minute apart. I thought, "well that can't be right" and went back to kneeling and swaying through contractions. Then I threw up. Odd, I thought. I threw up when I was about 7 cm dilated in labor with Clementine.
I really didn't believe I was in labor, still, because contractions seemed like they weren't that painful (I mean, they hurt a lot but I was okay, I didn't need to moan or anything through them). I threw up a lot more, then I called my midwife and she didn't answer, and I went out to the couch to wait for her to call me back (My message said "Hi Melissa, sorry to bother you so late. If you get a chance, could you call me back?"). She called back about 4 minutes later and as I said hello I felt a weird little pop low in my abdomen. Which I DID remember from when I had Clementine. So I told Melissa I thought my water had just broke, and then I stood up and yes, it had. She told me to come to the birth center, that they were there with another mama in labor. (I met that woman before we left the birth center with our babies and she said they told her "Another mama is coming in to have her baby, but we think she'll probably just get here and push").
So it was about 4:45am, Thursday August 25th. I woke up Mark. And then I called my mom and dad, and woke up Clementine. Mark was stressed because he had to invoice before 11am that day or he wouldn't get paid, and money has been very tight. He started talking to me about it and I was like "Really, you think you need to talk to me about this right now?" and he apologized and we got in the car. The car ride wasn't so bad. I was really glad it was so early in the morning, because I had been worried about traffic. My contractions actually seemed to stall after my water broke, which was great as I ran around finishing packing, getting Clementine ready and walking out to the car. Mark was driving THE speed limit and I told him he could go a little faster. Clementine was wide awake and chatty. At one point she was like "Wouldn't it be cool if Beatrice (our car) was like baby rocket?!" and I had to ask her not to talk anymore.
The contractions started getting more intense again as we got to the birth center, and when we pulled up I had to kneel and wait for one to pass. As I knelt on the curb, leaning on the seat of the car Mark had the bag and Clementine and was like "Are you ready?" and I was displeased with him. My midwife said he seemed nervous. I had to do that again on the staircase up to the birth room. I guess we got there around 5:10am. I think they checked Malcolm's heartbeat and then I got in the tub. It was pretty warm in the room, so I asked for ice water and a cool cloth, and later for a fan. The water helped so much. I had been humming (Sweet Baby James by James Taylor) through contractions at that point, and I continued to do that until I started feeling like I needed to push. Honestly I was kind of in denial that I was actually in labor.
My mom and step dad got there, and later on my dad did. It was cool because my mom entertained Clementine in the birth room while my dad and step dad sat outside the room in a little couch area, but I could see them through the curtains.
I moved around the tub a lot, mainly sitting in between contractions and kneeling with my head on the side of the tub during them. I was pretty tired and looked longingly over at the bed once or twice, but all in all the contractions weren't hurting the way I expected them to. I remembered reading a birth story where the mama was smiling and being thankful for people and I wanted to do that too, so I told people how glad I was they were there and tried to smile as much as I could.
I think it was a little before 7am that I felt like I needed to push. It had been getting lighter outside, which was nice to see. It was very pretty in the birth room. I mainly felt more pain and increased pressure in my rectum. The contractions were a lot more painful, but when I pushed they felt a lot better. I had to stop humming, but I didn't really make much noise at that point, maybe kind of breathy whimpers? Mark held my hands and I pushed lightly. Then I started pushing harder and flipped over onto my hands and knees. Pushing hurt! As Malcolm got closer it hurt more and more, and I could feel my tailbone moving. I actually became a little afraid to push (And said "I don't want to push!") but I had asked the midwives for a lot of perineal support and they provided it, and told me "It's okay, you're safe, you can push". I also thought of that midwife in The Business of Being Born who says "Okay, then you're going to stay pregnant forever, and it's going to hurt forever". My daughter wondered aloud if Malcolm was ever going to be born and someone shushed her, but it didn't bother me because I knew how she felt and I also knew that he was going to be there soon.
There was one time when they checked his heart rate and I could hear it was a lot slower, but it seemed to go right back up and with the next contraction it didn't go back down, so that was good. At about 7:15 I felt his head and then at 7:25 his head came out fully and I reached down and felt it again. I was so excited! He was born at 7:27am and the midwives said I had to push him out all the way to his knees. I brought him up onto my chest and he was perfect and beautiful and COVERED in vernix. He had a short cord just like his sister did, but we waited for it to stop pulsing and Mark cut it. It spurted blood, which I thought was odd in the moment. I rubbed the vernix into Malcolm's skin but there was so much! It was interesting. Mark got into the tub with me and everyone came to meet the baby while I held him. I got really shaky, although I lost really minimal amounts of blood, so someone took Malcolm and they helped me out of the tub. It was weird because there was like, a pocket of his sack that had water in it... I don't know how to describe it. My midwives kind of had to leave because the woman downstairs was going to start pushing. I could hear her, and it was cool. It made me feel really strong and connected to all the powerful women who have ever given birth. She was much louder with her birth song, I had remained quiet, just like when my daughter was born.
Malcolm was brought over and he latched on right away, which was emotional for me because my daughter and I had a really hard time with starting breastfeeding (although we got it eventually!). He was... get this... 10lbs 4oz! I weighed 110lbs myself pre pregnancy! Even with him nursing, though, I wasn't feeling like I needed to push the placenta and it had been a while so the owner of the birth center, who had taken over when my midwives left, ended up having to reach in and pull it. It weighed 3lbs. He had a velmentous cord, and it was only 12 inches long. I didn’t have any tearing. My midwife also mentioned he had solider presentation (didn't tuck his head) but that I have an ample pelvis, which I am unreasonably proud of. My apprentice midwife offered to cut up the placenta for me into chunks we could freeze and make a smoothie for me and so I drank that and we ordered waffles. It was wonderful.
Malcolm is 3 months old now! He’s a little over 17lbs and very easy going and interactive. Obviously words can’t describe how much I love him, and how much he’s brought to our family.
