I think what I have here is a people addiction.
I am home for summer. I'm working full-time at the brewery and spending the weekdays at my parent's house. A distinct difference from spending the weekdays home and going to Rochester on the weekends. Also a difference from being home during the week and going to B'ville on the weekends.
Work has been...pretty tame. I have spend the 2.5 weeks I've worked so far doing pretty much nothing but using the sweet "Sparta" brooms and cleaning up broken glass. It makes for a relatively boring 8 hours, but its nice because at least my supervisors trust me enough to leave me to my own devices. My assignments usually go as follows: "Steph, you are with me tonight, like always. I'm gonna have you go over here for about 10 min, then the rest of the night, just sweep floors or something. If I need you, I'll find you." As in, "we are not letting the west side bastards have you, we want to keep you around in case something goes horribly wrong and we need some half-way intelligent hands to help out." In a way, I'm on call all night, going where ever needed when things go awry. A pretty sweet gig all in all. The thing is, not a whole lot of bad shit happens so I end up pushing a small pile of glass around the production floor waiting for something to happen to give me 10 min of work. Sidenote: Every time I pick up a broom with "Sparta" printed on it, I always imagine hoisting the broom over my head and running at someone, screaming "THIS...IS...SPAAARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" then smacking them with it. Luckily, there is only one dude at work I'd like to do this to, and for the most part the supervisor keeps me away from him. Joe (supervisor) is a good man. Dick, however, lives up to his name. Picture a perverted old man who takes every opportunity to tell me the only reason I don't get stuck with shit jobs like he does is because of who my father is. Yeah Dick, nevermind the fact that no one there likes you, and you haven't done a day's work ever. He also told me he was joking, and didn't mean it. He probably just doesn't want me to file a grievance. I'm waiting for him to say it one more time. All I gotta do is give Joe one more reason to despise Dick, then he will make his life a living hell. I'm quite looking forward to it.
I leave the house at about 2:30 to go to work . I sometimes see my dad for about 5-10 min, and lately I don't see my mom at all because she leaves for work before I wake up. Before this week, I would at least get a chance to see my mom for a little while before she left for work around noon. I think this has kind of pushed me over the lonliness edge. There is not many people here to hang out with anyway, theres my sister, Joe if he feels up to it on certain days, and Kay if I schedule it a week in advance. Everyone else here is generally busy before 3pm. I'm still used to living with my friends, and my best friend. Living in a place where there is pretty much always someone around. I thought I was going to enjoy this time I have to myself, but I guess not. I feel tired and horribly lonely. And a bit childish, feeling this lonely. I think its the result of not being in touch with a lot of people, plus being generally alone at work and left to entertain myself. I hate it because I can feel myself slipping into a sadness, a depression. I contemplate not going home on the weekend because I feel so crappy. That would just perpetuate the problem, but I don't want to drag people down with me, and sometimes I don't see the point of going out there when I just have to come back here and do it all again. Why get my hopes up and all. I guess the important thing is that I can identify whats going on, and that I'm doing my best to combat it. I'll be fine in a day or two, just had to get this out.
Work has been...pretty tame. I have spend the 2.5 weeks I've worked so far doing pretty much nothing but using the sweet "Sparta" brooms and cleaning up broken glass. It makes for a relatively boring 8 hours, but its nice because at least my supervisors trust me enough to leave me to my own devices. My assignments usually go as follows: "Steph, you are with me tonight, like always. I'm gonna have you go over here for about 10 min, then the rest of the night, just sweep floors or something. If I need you, I'll find you." As in, "we are not letting the west side bastards have you, we want to keep you around in case something goes horribly wrong and we need some half-way intelligent hands to help out." In a way, I'm on call all night, going where ever needed when things go awry. A pretty sweet gig all in all. The thing is, not a whole lot of bad shit happens so I end up pushing a small pile of glass around the production floor waiting for something to happen to give me 10 min of work. Sidenote: Every time I pick up a broom with "Sparta" printed on it, I always imagine hoisting the broom over my head and running at someone, screaming "THIS...IS...SPAAARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" then smacking them with it. Luckily, there is only one dude at work I'd like to do this to, and for the most part the supervisor keeps me away from him. Joe (supervisor) is a good man. Dick, however, lives up to his name. Picture a perverted old man who takes every opportunity to tell me the only reason I don't get stuck with shit jobs like he does is because of who my father is. Yeah Dick, nevermind the fact that no one there likes you, and you haven't done a day's work ever. He also told me he was joking, and didn't mean it. He probably just doesn't want me to file a grievance. I'm waiting for him to say it one more time. All I gotta do is give Joe one more reason to despise Dick, then he will make his life a living hell. I'm quite looking forward to it.
I leave the house at about 2:30 to go to work . I sometimes see my dad for about 5-10 min, and lately I don't see my mom at all because she leaves for work before I wake up. Before this week, I would at least get a chance to see my mom for a little while before she left for work around noon. I think this has kind of pushed me over the lonliness edge. There is not many people here to hang out with anyway, theres my sister, Joe if he feels up to it on certain days, and Kay if I schedule it a week in advance. Everyone else here is generally busy before 3pm. I'm still used to living with my friends, and my best friend. Living in a place where there is pretty much always someone around. I thought I was going to enjoy this time I have to myself, but I guess not. I feel tired and horribly lonely. And a bit childish, feeling this lonely. I think its the result of not being in touch with a lot of people, plus being generally alone at work and left to entertain myself. I hate it because I can feel myself slipping into a sadness, a depression. I contemplate not going home on the weekend because I feel so crappy. That would just perpetuate the problem, but I don't want to drag people down with me, and sometimes I don't see the point of going out there when I just have to come back here and do it all again. Why get my hopes up and all. I guess the important thing is that I can identify whats going on, and that I'm doing my best to combat it. I'll be fine in a day or two, just had to get this out.