OOC: sex quizz answers
Since Molly just posted it for Dimo...
Most of this filled itself out in my head without much conscious input right after the quizz came out, so I figured I can finish the rest and post, for general amusement.
[ooc: Yes, this is voice. She dislikes typing. She reads the questions in an almost-unaccented teacher-like voice, and the answers in amused!Jenka voice. Yes, she can pronounce long words.]
THE VERY BASICS
1. Vot constitutes the act of sex?
Just find somevun to show hyu instead of askink schtupid qvestions!
2. Are there different types of sex? If so, describe them.
Ho, lots. Zeetha can giff a great list ov de 'vho und how' sort.
*thoughtful* ...De Kestle could too, probably.
*matter-of-fact and pretty unconcerned* Besides dot, dere's de type hyu vants, and de type hyu doezn't. Und den ve see vho gets more ov a beatink.
MYTHS AND MISCONCEPTIONS
1. List three myths or urban legends about sex or contraception you know are untrue.
- Sleepink vit pipple makes hyu more like dem. Dot's just zumtink dey tells kids vot vant to get bigger und stronger und get deir claws already.
- Hyu can't get pregnant if hyu keels de guy before he'z done - Mamma says hyu gots keel him before he even gets started.
- Sex iz more fun if hyu drink Battledraught first. Iz NOT. [ooc: Battledraught - Slightly Better Than Death]
2. Can a voman get pregnant if she has sex during her period?
Mebbe? Vho knows.
3. Can a voman get pregnant after she engages in anal intercourse?
If zumvun'z an eediot.
4. Can a voman get pregnant if she has sex with a race of humanoid besides her own?
Ask Oggie about dot vun! Hy neffer tried.
5. Is it possible for men to get pregnant?
Not yet, but I'z sure de Mistress vill vork it out vhen she needs to! *cheerful*
CONTRACEPTION
1. List all forms of contraception you are avare of.
Not sleepink vit boyz, und a bunch ov medical schtuff.
Gettink zumvun to hit hyu in de stomach really hard, too, but dot only vorks later.
2. Do you know vot the effectiveness levels of these contraceptives are? If they are used in combination?
Vell, dey'z vorked for 350 years now, but Hy dun know if Hy even needs dem, so iz hard to tell.
3. Are you avare of any risks involved vith their use?
*chuckle* Hyu mean besides de fact dot dey'z made by eidder de Mistress or Mamma?
4. Do you know vhere to acquire any of these contraceptive devices?
Mamma or de Mistress. Hy dun tink I should be takink human vuns.
5. Vho should you consult before usink them?
De person vot made dem.
SEXUAL DISEASES
1. Vot is a sexual disease? How are they spread?
Vun ov de unpleasant tings vot doesn't happen to Jägerkin.
2. List any sexual diseases you are avare of.
Vhy vould Hy care?
3. How can you prevent contracting these diseases, or minimize the risk of doink so?
Jägerbräu. Or not sleepink vit pipple vot has dem.
4. Are there any treatment options available?
For some ov dem, probably. Und Jägerbräu.
MASTURBATION
1. Do you find the subject embarrassink? Vhy or vhy not?
Not embarassink, just schtupid.
2. How often do you engage in it? Do you tink that is normal?
Not much. Dun ask a Jäger about normal.
3. Vould you feel comfortable discussing the subject vith any future romantic partners?
Vhy vould Hy do dot?
4. Vot are the benefits of masturbation? Are there any negatives?
Dot's a schtupid qvestion. Feels nize und izn't complicated. Und no.
5. List any urban legends or myths you haff heard about masturbation.
- ...Dot de Kestle alvays vatches? I'm pretty sure dot's not true...
- Dot it makes hyu grow faster.
- Dot it hurts a lot if hyu dun' do it for a few veeks. Iz made up by schtupid boys.
[ooc: She was educated by a mad Castle, a Jäger army, and Mamma Gkika. So none of that "masturbation is bad for you" crap]
Most of this filled itself out in my head without much conscious input right after the quizz came out, so I figured I can finish the rest and post, for general amusement.
[ooc: Yes, this is voice. She dislikes typing. She reads the questions in an almost-unaccented teacher-like voice, and the answers in amused!Jenka voice. Yes, she can pronounce long words.]
THE VERY BASICS
1. Vot constitutes the act of sex?
Just find somevun to show hyu instead of askink schtupid qvestions!
2. Are there different types of sex? If so, describe them.
Ho, lots. Zeetha can giff a great list ov de 'vho und how' sort.
*thoughtful* ...De Kestle could too, probably.
*matter-of-fact and pretty unconcerned* Besides dot, dere's de type hyu vants, and de type hyu doezn't. Und den ve see vho gets more ov a beatink.
MYTHS AND MISCONCEPTIONS
1. List three myths or urban legends about sex or contraception you know are untrue.
- Sleepink vit pipple makes hyu more like dem. Dot's just zumtink dey tells kids vot vant to get bigger und stronger und get deir claws already.
- Hyu can't get pregnant if hyu keels de guy before he'z done - Mamma says hyu gots keel him before he even gets started.
- Sex iz more fun if hyu drink Battledraught first. Iz NOT. [ooc: Battledraught - Slightly Better Than Death]
2. Can a voman get pregnant if she has sex during her period?
Mebbe? Vho knows.
3. Can a voman get pregnant after she engages in anal intercourse?
If zumvun'z an eediot.
4. Can a voman get pregnant if she has sex with a race of humanoid besides her own?
Ask Oggie about dot vun! Hy neffer tried.
5. Is it possible for men to get pregnant?
Not yet, but I'z sure de Mistress vill vork it out vhen she needs to! *cheerful*
CONTRACEPTION
1. List all forms of contraception you are avare of.
Not sleepink vit boyz, und a bunch ov medical schtuff.
Gettink zumvun to hit hyu in de stomach really hard, too, but dot only vorks later.
2. Do you know vot the effectiveness levels of these contraceptives are? If they are used in combination?
Vell, dey'z vorked for 350 years now, but Hy dun know if Hy even needs dem, so iz hard to tell.
3. Are you avare of any risks involved vith their use?
*chuckle* Hyu mean besides de fact dot dey'z made by eidder de Mistress or Mamma?
4. Do you know vhere to acquire any of these contraceptive devices?
Mamma or de Mistress. Hy dun tink I should be takink human vuns.
5. Vho should you consult before usink them?
De person vot made dem.
SEXUAL DISEASES
1. Vot is a sexual disease? How are they spread?
Vun ov de unpleasant tings vot doesn't happen to Jägerkin.
2. List any sexual diseases you are avare of.
Vhy vould Hy care?
3. How can you prevent contracting these diseases, or minimize the risk of doink so?
Jägerbräu. Or not sleepink vit pipple vot has dem.
4. Are there any treatment options available?
For some ov dem, probably. Und Jägerbräu.
MASTURBATION
1. Do you find the subject embarrassink? Vhy or vhy not?
Not embarassink, just schtupid.
2. How often do you engage in it? Do you tink that is normal?
Not much. Dun ask a Jäger about normal.
3. Vould you feel comfortable discussing the subject vith any future romantic partners?
Vhy vould Hy do dot?
4. Vot are the benefits of masturbation? Are there any negatives?
Dot's a schtupid qvestion. Feels nize und izn't complicated. Und no.
5. List any urban legends or myths you haff heard about masturbation.
- ...Dot de Kestle alvays vatches? I'm pretty sure dot's not true...
- Dot it makes hyu grow faster.
- Dot it hurts a lot if hyu dun' do it for a few veeks. Iz made up by schtupid boys.
[ooc: She was educated by a mad Castle, a Jäger army, and Mamma Gkika. So none of that "masturbation is bad for you" crap]