Aren't you glad that's not out of my own head?
1. Would you rather kill a puppy with your bare hands or make out with your father? I really, really, don't want to think about that. So far I'm going with kill the puppy. I may spend a sleepless night wondering if that makes me a bad person. No, wait, it does.
2. What would be worse for the world: One giant (approx. 30 feet tall) cybernetic Hitler, or if all food screamed when you ate it? Weeeell, a Hitler that size would be a target even the Americans couldn't miss, so I don't think he'd last very long. On the other hand, we got used to food screaming when we killed it: I reckon we can get used to it screaming when we eat it.
3. Zombies become a very harsh reality. Sensing the ethical code society has instilled in you slipping away, you decide to start killing everything that moves with what weapon? No. I'm not that coordinated. Plus, I hate breaking stuff. Of course, if I might get some perverse thrill out of firing a gun, so if I get me one of them thangs, all bets are off.
4. When charging into battle, your war cry is? "DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE..." Or possibly "This may sting a little."
5. A temporal rift has opened up while you were in the bathroom and sucked you into the distant, distant past. Where do you pray to fucking God that you don't end up? Anywhere I'm likely to get eaten, beaten, or raped, and then die of some horrible disease so...anywhere. Particularly... Hitler's Germany. I'd get shot as a spy AND my grandma would be all "You were in 1937 and you didn't come visit?!"
6. Ninjas vs. Pirates: Who wins? Defend your answer. Ninjas. By definition. Unless, of course, there's a hero around. But otherwise I think ninja action beats pirate cannon, particularly if the ninjas can cast the pirates in a comically incompetent role.
7. It's your wedding day. However, the night before ants crawled into your head and drove you insane. Whilst in the thralls of madness, you pick what song as your wedding ballad? Kylie's Your Disco.
8. You're driving around and you see an Asian dude on a Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle with a sword strapped to his back. The first thought that comes to your mind is: The hell? How do I know what kind of motorcycle that is?
9. The Battle: A Pit Bull vs. A Pit Bull's body weight in ill-tempered weasels. You place your bets on: The Weasels. That's where they got the inspiration for the chicken-raptors in Jurassic Park you know.
10. A serious Dance-Dance Revolution accident leaves you with special powers. Unfortunately the powers aren't all that super. It seems that all you can do is: Bounce up and down indefinitely. But I'd get skinny doing it.
11. What alcohol do you drink when you absolutely want the whole world to know how much you hate everyone? Vodka. I like to show my distaste by throwing up on bits of it.
12. You have sinned grossly against God and country. Your punishment is to be eaten alive by one of God's creatures. Luckily, you get to pick what creature that is: Lion or other large cat. Apparently the Small Damp Squeak DNA kicks in and you get to feel at peace while it toys with you.
13. In your most humble opinion, what do you feel is the most vile and savage swearword you can spew forth unto another person: Cunt. But that's not to say I don't use it to mean vagina: I do. Just that used as a swear word it's the worst I can think of.
14. You get to change the name of the state you are living in. You choose: I already live in VD land. Um. Le Mania.
15. Which animal would totally eat you if it could? Next door's cat. He keeps coming by my window to make sure his treat hasn't walked away.
16. Sexiest number between 1 and 10: 8.
17. You are carrying your drink back from the bar when you accidentally run into this girl, spilling your drink on her. She's being a total bitch about it but, c'mon, it was totally just an accident. Her boyfriend subsequently challenges you to fisticuffs. Name two friends you'd want on your side in a fight: Well, rwinchester and moomin2009 know Jitsu...they'd kick my ass for sure.
18. If you could, what historical figure would you totally like to peg in the junk with a brick? Don't say Hitler, you uncreative fuck: Goering? Nah. Stalin. Or, Shakespeare.
19. What would it cost to make you willingly and knowingly contract pubic lice: True love, great sex, and the knowledge that NO ONE ELSE WOULD EVER KNOW.
20. Think of the grossest name a strip club could possibly have: Neon Pussy Cat Slime?
2. What would be worse for the world: One giant (approx. 30 feet tall) cybernetic Hitler, or if all food screamed when you ate it? Weeeell, a Hitler that size would be a target even the Americans couldn't miss, so I don't think he'd last very long. On the other hand, we got used to food screaming when we killed it: I reckon we can get used to it screaming when we eat it.
3. Zombies become a very harsh reality. Sensing the ethical code society has instilled in you slipping away, you decide to start killing everything that moves with what weapon? No. I'm not that coordinated. Plus, I hate breaking stuff. Of course, if I might get some perverse thrill out of firing a gun, so if I get me one of them thangs, all bets are off.
4. When charging into battle, your war cry is? "DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE..." Or possibly "This may sting a little."
5. A temporal rift has opened up while you were in the bathroom and sucked you into the distant, distant past. Where do you pray to fucking God that you don't end up? Anywhere I'm likely to get eaten, beaten, or raped, and then die of some horrible disease so...anywhere. Particularly... Hitler's Germany. I'd get shot as a spy AND my grandma would be all "You were in 1937 and you didn't come visit?!"
6. Ninjas vs. Pirates: Who wins? Defend your answer. Ninjas. By definition. Unless, of course, there's a hero around. But otherwise I think ninja action beats pirate cannon, particularly if the ninjas can cast the pirates in a comically incompetent role.
7. It's your wedding day. However, the night before ants crawled into your head and drove you insane. Whilst in the thralls of madness, you pick what song as your wedding ballad? Kylie's Your Disco.
8. You're driving around and you see an Asian dude on a Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle with a sword strapped to his back. The first thought that comes to your mind is: The hell? How do I know what kind of motorcycle that is?
9. The Battle: A Pit Bull vs. A Pit Bull's body weight in ill-tempered weasels. You place your bets on: The Weasels. That's where they got the inspiration for the chicken-raptors in Jurassic Park you know.
10. A serious Dance-Dance Revolution accident leaves you with special powers. Unfortunately the powers aren't all that super. It seems that all you can do is: Bounce up and down indefinitely. But I'd get skinny doing it.
11. What alcohol do you drink when you absolutely want the whole world to know how much you hate everyone? Vodka. I like to show my distaste by throwing up on bits of it.
12. You have sinned grossly against God and country. Your punishment is to be eaten alive by one of God's creatures. Luckily, you get to pick what creature that is: Lion or other large cat. Apparently the Small Damp Squeak DNA kicks in and you get to feel at peace while it toys with you.
13. In your most humble opinion, what do you feel is the most vile and savage swearword you can spew forth unto another person: Cunt. But that's not to say I don't use it to mean vagina: I do. Just that used as a swear word it's the worst I can think of.
14. You get to change the name of the state you are living in. You choose: I already live in VD land. Um. Le Mania.
15. Which animal would totally eat you if it could? Next door's cat. He keeps coming by my window to make sure his treat hasn't walked away.
16. Sexiest number between 1 and 10: 8.
17. You are carrying your drink back from the bar when you accidentally run into this girl, spilling your drink on her. She's being a total bitch about it but, c'mon, it was totally just an accident. Her boyfriend subsequently challenges you to fisticuffs. Name two friends you'd want on your side in a fight: Well, rwinchester and moomin2009 know Jitsu...they'd kick my ass for sure.
18. If you could, what historical figure would you totally like to peg in the junk with a brick? Don't say Hitler, you uncreative fuck: Goering? Nah. Stalin. Or, Shakespeare.
19. What would it cost to make you willingly and knowingly contract pubic lice: True love, great sex, and the knowledge that NO ONE ELSE WOULD EVER KNOW.
20. Think of the grossest name a strip club could possibly have: Neon Pussy Cat Slime?