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[ccmoira]

It was not so bad going into town today. Ewen and I bought a Marvel calendar, which we discovered would not fit over the nail in our hallway. I'm currently trying strategic slits and bits of tape to get it to both fit over the nail-head and stay up. Needless to say, Ewen can name every artist - I love that he's such a nerd

Comments

[ex_maehymn]

Those are tough demands. That is quite an adjustment you are making!

Keep going with the photos. They are a great way to appreciate your body. Play with lighting, motion. And I totally agree with you--everytime my conceptual/abstract person-hang-ups go out of control, I start 'feeling fat', etc. Photography has always been my way back into myself and away from the physical stupidness.

Good luck. I've always wondered how I'd deal with having children, especially having a daughter, and all the body issues that you invariably have to confront as a girl/woman.

[ccmoira]

Thanks for the good thoughts. I'm blessed with a great life-partner who sets a good example for me by being so at ease with himself (mostly -we all have hang-ups). But then sometimes I almost resent his self-confidence.

The main thing for me with the photography is that it keeps me grounded. You know how sometimes you feel lost then all you have to do is look in a mirror and suddenly you realize it's still just you looking back. It's reassuring. In a similar way, I have this tendency to want some skewed version of perfection, especially when I feel like I'm standing still in life, like now. If I photograph my imperfections, the things that make up part of who I am, I'm forced to embrace them and, in the end, see them as a kind of beauty.

I feel like I owe it to my daughter to set a good example, not just in my approach to my physical body but to my self as well. I'd hate it if, when she gets older, she hears me and sees me expressing so much doubt and fear about myself.