Resident Geek: Chapter Fourteen
Title: Resident Geek
Genre: Romance/Humor
Pairings: Edward/Bella
Rating: NC-17
Chapter: 14/?
Warnings: Strong language, sexuality, and underage drinking.
Summary: Geeky Edward thinks he has absolutely no shot with the popular, beautiful Bella. Is he right, or will she be one of the many girls who thinks geeks make for better lovers? OOC-AH.
A/N:Thanks to Jen and Annie. You make me a better writer.
It’s short, but it holds the answers that you seek.
~*~*~
Oh, let the rain fall down
And wash this world away
Oh, let the sky be grey
Cause if it's ever gonna get any better
It's gotta get worse for a day
~"Rain" by Bishop Allen~
~*~*~
Chapter 14
EPOV
I yawned silently again and glanced at the clock. It was late… or early morning, depending on how you looked at it. The party had weaned down enough that I barely heard the people downstairs.
I was so tired and needed to leave, but I didn’t want to let go of Bella.
Just a quick nap to boost my strength, I promised myself as my eyelids slid shut. Then I’ll go home.
The next thing I knew I was slowly coming back into consciousness. I stretched out and found resistance in front of me. Rubbing my morning erection against it without thinking, I tightened my arms around the soft thing I was holding and hummed in contentment.
Then it moved.
That’s unusual, I groggily thought. Most pillows don’t move.
Memories from last night slipped in haphazardly and I realized where I was… and what I was doing.
I was rubbing myself against Bella.
Snapping awake, I stifled a groan when I saw Bella lying innocently in my arms while I was blatantly taking advantage of her unconscious state.
I hadn’t gone home like I’d planned. I must have fallen asleep during my ‘quick nap’.
Sometime during the night we had changed positions because I was curled around Bella like she was my security blanket, her back pressed against my chest. She shifted again and I froze, not sure what I should do. My right arm was under her and very much asleep, but I couldn’t move it without jarring Bella awake.
I needed a toothbrush, stat. And a shower. But first, I needed to get off this bed without Bella waking up to find I had turned into an octopus overnight.
Then it hit me.
I had spent the night with Bella. My first night with a girl! Granted it could have occurred under better circumstances, but it was still monumental.
I didn’t have time to do my happy dance though, because I still needed to extract myself from the bed. Both of her legs were between mine and easier to get loose than my arms. The mattress jiggled a little with my movements, but Bella didn’t wake, so I counted it a win.
Now that my legs were free, I could use them as leverage to pull myself away from Bella and hopefully, that would bring about the release of my arm. I watched the side of her face as I carefully removed my arm out from under her, trying desperately to ignore the sensation of my skin rubbing along the bottom of her breast.
A problem formed when all that was left was my hand.
I didn’t want my first real boob graze to happen while the other party was asleep. It didn’t seem right.
I thought briefly about fisting my hand, but that was pointless.
I didn’t know what to do. And there were two reasons for that. One, I had just woken up, so all the gears weren’t cranking at full speed yet, and two, I was starting to think maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to cope a feel while Bella was asleep.
It’s not like she’ll know, argued the newly discovered perverted side of my brain.
But it appeared all my arguing was for naught because Bella made the decision for me. She rolled over onto her stomach and the movement was so sudden that I didn’t have time to react as her warm, oh-so-squeezable breast fit perfectly into my open, waiting palm. My fingers curled instinctively around it and I grew rock hard, stretching the fabric of the front of my pants even more than I usually did in the morning.
My eyes closed and I flexed my fingers, enjoying everything about the moment.
Oooh… Bella’s breast was in my hand… I was touching it…
Wait.
What the hell was I doing? Groping a sleeping girl?!
I jumped back and pulled my arm toward me with more force than before. The momentum of pulling my arm back, combined with tensing my body from the jump, caused me to start rolling onto my back. And I hadn’t realized how close I was to the edge of the bed because I felt a moment of weightlessness as I scrambled to hold onto something before uttering a panicked, “Shit!”
Then I fell hard onto the floor with a thud.
“Hmm,” Bella moaned from the top of the bed and her head appeared above mine. I could only see the shape of her head because everything was blurry without my glasses on.
“Edward?” she asked with a rasp.
“Yeah,” I breathed, rolling onto my back with an ‘ooph’.
Her hands went to the sides of her head and she disappeared from view. I sat up when I heard more moaning and reached behind me, fumbling for my glasses on the nightstand, which I had miraculously avoided hitting.
Putting them on, I crossed my arms on top of the mattress and rested my chin on them. Bella was curled up in a ball with her eyes squeezed shut and her hands pressed against her temples.
I reached out to push her hair off of her forehead, hooking it behind her ear, but it didn’t really work with her hand in the way. She looked so miserable that I felt compelled to help her.
Bella cracked her eyes open and frowned. “It hurts,” she whispered.
“I know. Do you have any aspirin around here?” I asked quietly.
“Bathroom,” she said, closing her eyes again.
I got up and quickly located the bottle of aspirin in the medicine cabinet. Looking around, I didn’t see any cups for water, so I checked the small refrigerator that was on Alice’s side of the room. I grabbed a bottle of water, doubting she would mind, and walked back to Bella. Sitting down on the bed, I softly instructed, “Sit up so you can take these.”
Bella groaned, but obeyed. I scooted closer to keep one hand on her back while she swallowed the little white pills and drank half of the bottle.
I put the water aside when she was done and she crawled into my lap, laying her head in the crook of my neck. Thankfully my morning erection had dissipated, so I held Bella close and enjoyed the moment, putting off the conversation I knew we needed to have for just a few more seconds.
But it was inevitable that the time would come and I sighed, giving in to the nagging part of myself that demanded answers.
“Bella?” I began, rousing her from her half-asleep state.
“Hmm?” she replied, stirring in my arms.
“Do you remember what happened last night?”
She tensed at my words. “Yes,” she said, her voice strained.
“We don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to,” I suggested, giving her an out if she wanted it. She already felt like crap. I didn’t want to make it worse.
“No, it’s okay.” She curled herself closer to me and laughed once sardonically. “I’m very philosophical when I’ve had a couple drinks.”
“Yeah, you are,” I agreed, remembering her ‘lecture’ on loving someone.
“So… what do you want to know?”
“What happened last year?” I ran a hand down her hair and back and waited for her to start when she was ready.
“I wish I could say I was wise when it came to boys last year, but sadly, I wasn’t,” Bella began. “I went to a small high school and most of the guys there were a bit annoying at times, but overall good guys.” She took a deep breath and pulled away, looking up at me. “I don’t think I’m starting out well. I’m trying to reason away my behavior.”
“You’re killing me, Smalls,” I sighed, dropping my head so that my forehead rested on top of hers. “Just tell me what this Paul did so I can go kick his ass and be done with it.”
Bella shook her head and climbed out of my lap, turning around to face me. “He graduated. I don’t know where he is, even if I did want you to ‘kick his ass’.” She rubbed her temple and frowned. “This is useless. I feel nauseous and have a pounding headache. I’m in no shape to talk about this right now. Can I take a shower, brush my teeth, and change before we continue?”
“Yeah, that sounds good,” I replied, suddenly in a very foul mood. “Do you want to meet up for lunch?”
Bella glanced at the clock too quickly and winced, clutching the side of her head again. “Sure,” she said slowly. “How about the cafeteria at one?”
“Okay.” I located my shoes and forced my feet into them, not bothering to untie them. Standing up, I straightened my shirt and pushed a hand through my hair. With a glance over to Bella, I hesitated as sympathy dominated all other feelings that were running through me. “Are you going to be able to handle all that noise?”
She shrugged carefully. “If it’s too bad, we’ll take it to go.”
“Okay. I’ll give you a call when I get there.” The sympathy lessened, letting the unexplained anger take over again, and I started for the door after checking my pockets to make sure I had everything.
“Bye,” I heard Bella say quietly behind me.
I didn’t look back.
I couldn’t explain why I was so angry, just that I was.
Maybe it had something to do with how I had finally found a girl who I could talk to without coming off as a loser; who knew I was a massive geek, but didn’t seem to care; who actually enjoyed doing the same stuff that I did. And then to discover that she had emotional baggage… maybe that was my breaking point?
Did I really want to know what happened to her?
Would it change anything?
And where was all this hostility coming from?
I wasn’t this kind of guy. This was more Emmett’s style than mine.
I made it home and quickly showered, changed and brushed my teeth. I didn’t think it was wise to handle a razor in my current frame of mind, so I didn’t shave away the scruff.
With half an hour to waste before it was time to leave, I paced in my bedroom, trying to figure out what had happened to Bella.
The ‘whore’ comments from last night led me to think it was something bad. Something that would require therapy, if she wasn’t in it already.
I didn’t know what I would be able to handle. If it was truly bad, would I see Bella the same way? Was that why she was so reluctant to tell me?
Was that why a part of me didn’t want to know?
I had so many questions and my current mood wasn’t helping. I needed to remain open to whatever Bella told me and be patient with her. I did want to know, but I didn’t want it to change anything between us.
I knew I was falling in love with her, but I needed to know exactly who it was I was falling in love with.
It all circled back on itself. All my feelings, questions, and intentions all centered on what had taken place between Bella and Paul.
So to the cafeteria I went.
Most colleges have student cafeterias inside certain dormitories, but our school was a little different. We still had cafeterias in dorms, but they were small and rarely used by students who didn’t live there. Instead, everyone tended to go to the main cafeteria, which was a separate building in the middle of campus and referred to by the majority of students as ‘the cafeteria’.
I made my way there, jogging whenever my impatience got the best of me, and took out my cell phone once I spotted the main entrance. Bella answered and told me she was already in line for a salad, so I went in to try to find her.
It was crowded, but nowhere near the level it was during lunch time on a school day, which made locating Bella easier.
She looked a lot better than she had an hour and a half ago. More awake and aware.
She was wearing sunglasses inside, but florescent lighting could be harsh to someone who wasn’t recovering from a hangover so it made sense.
“Hey,” I said, laying a hand on her shoulder.
She jumped and then slowly turned. “Hey,” she answered.
I removed my hand, now feeling a bit awkward, and looked around. “I’m going to get a burger. Do you want to eat outside?”
“Yes, that would be… better,” she answered with a slight grimace, which was fine with me because I would rather hash this out in a more private setting anyway.
Grabbing a burger, fries and a drink, I paid for my meal and met Bella outside the front entrance. She steered us toward the small park area some yards away and we spread our food out between us on a wooden bench, sitting Indian style across from each other.
I’d never liked eating while someone sat across from me in silence, but somehow I got through it without dropping or spilling anything.
“Are you feeling any better?” I asked after I had scarfed down my burger.
Bella nodded. “Yeah. I took some more Tylenol, or Advil… or whatever it was that I had and I think it kicked in because my headache’s not as bad.”
“That’s good,” I said, picking up two fries and dipping them in the mountain of ketchup I’d made. We ate in silence for a little longer. I cleared my throat, feeling a bit uncomfortable when I was done eating, and started gathering up all my trash.
“You done?” I asked Bella, pointing at her picked-at salad.
“Yeah,” she replied, making a face. I cleared everything away and threw it in the nearest trash can before sitting back down, this time the way you’re supposed to sit on a bench, which put me sideways to Bella.
Cradling my drink in my lap, I bowed my head and waited for Bella to begin. I saw her squirm beside me in the corner of my eye and then she sighed, moving her sunglasses to the top of her head.
“I’m not going to get out of this, am I?”
I laughed, even though it wasn’t funny. I just needed to relieve some of the tension.
“Okay,” Bella said slowly. “I’m going to go at this like a band-aid. Just pull it off quickly and see what happens.” She took a deep breath and launched into it. “I met Paul last semester at one of the first sorority mixers I attended. I was immediately taken with him because he was cool, hot and a senior. He exuded charm and confidence, which made people flock to him, me included.”
She paused while I sank into a pit of despair.
Charm and confidence?
So, the opposite of me, I thought with a deprecating tone as Bella continued talking.
“Amazingly enough - at least I thought so at the time - he seemed to be into me too and we started dating. I heard rumors about him from some of the other girls in KD, but when I confronted him about it, he said they were just jealous. And I believed him, even though I should have known better. I don’t know why I believed him… God, I was so stupid.”
“What kind of rumors?” I interrupted, studying the slightly raised grain of the cup I held in my hands.
“Things like he was a player and went through girls like they were Kleenex. Variations of that, really,” she replied. “I should have listened. Especially when Angela got on the bandwagon and started warning me against him, but I thought I was in love. So I ignored them all and continued seeing Paul.”
Things slowly began to fall into place as she talked. Bella’s comments from last night were making a little more sense now.
“It was just before Valentine’s Day when I decided to… um, sleep with him. I thought it would be special, you know? We’d been together for only a couple weeks and I don’t normally move that fast, but I thought he was the ‘one’.”
A little piece of my heart ripped at hearing Bella mention sleeping with someone. I had wanted her all to myself.
Pushing that aside to deal with later, I resumed listening.
“I was so delusional,” she laughed bitterly. “It turned out that those ‘rumors’ were true because the moment after we had sex, he became a completely different person. He started seeing other girls right away and wouldn’t even talk to me without acting like a complete bastard.” Bella let out an unsteady breath and then sniffed. I looked at her then and felt an immediate rush of sympathy for the second time that day.
Reaching out timidly, I covered one of her hands. A corner of Bella’s mouth lifted and she flipped her hand over to intertwine her fingers with mine.
“Anyway,” she said, starting up again after getting herself under control. “I was really hurt by his actions because like I said, I thought I was in love with him. But it wasn’t really him, was it? It was my idea of him that I loved. The guy he pretended to be to get into my pants.”
“I’m so sorry, Bella.”
She shook her head. “It’s okay. I’m over it. Last night was just unexpected, so I had a minor relapse.”
“Am I being too nosy if I ask what Jake said to you before I came over?”
“Heh. He told me that he’d heard from Paul I was an easy lay and would give it up to anyone with a large dick. Then I asked him why he thought he would be included in that category. It… took him a second to get it.” She shook her head with a rueful smile. “He didn’t really like what I’d implied.”
I chuckled despite myself because I had just replayed his reaction in my mind. Hesitant to address it, but needing to know regardless, I ventured a question I normally wouldn’t ask. “So, that’s why you thought you were a whore?”
Bella winced. “I felt like one,” she whispered. “I felt dirty and used after what Jacob said.”
I was at a loss of what to say to that. Personal confessions had never been my forte.
I went for the reassuring tactic, hoping it would be enough. “You know I would never think that about you, right?”
“Really?” Bella looked up at me, all vulnerable and broken. It made me ache to look at her.
“Yes, really. Never in a billion years would I think that about you. Bella, to me… you’re perfect,” I replied, my heart in my throat.
“Thank you,” she said quietly with a small smile. I nodded and we sat in silence for a little while, just holding hands and mulling over what had been said.
“Anything else you want to know?” she asked.
“Yeah… last week, did you freak out because of what happened with that guy?”
“Kind of,” she said, frowning. “It spooked me more than anything because it was sooo soon.”
“Right. That was my bad.”
Bella rolled her eyes. “No, it was mine. I should have known it was too fast for us to do anything like that.”
“Hey, that’s not fair. You weren’t alone,” I countered.
She lightly pushed against my shoulder with her hand, but didn’t say anything. I felt horrible for her, and sad that she had gone through all of that, and angry that someone would mistreat her to the point where she questioned everything she did, and useless because the person I blamed was gone and I couldn’t do anything about it.
Well, that wasn’t true, I realized, watching Bella as she picked at the sole of her sneaker. I could be exactly the kind of guy she needed. Someone who cherished her and didn’t pressure her into doing something she didn’t want to do. Basically, someone who didn’t remind her of Paul, although I doubted I was even in the same league as him if Bella’s description was anything to go off of.
Bella must have felt me staring at her because she looked up straight into my eyes. “Do you want nothing to do with me now?” she joked half-heartedly.
“No, quite the contrary,” I protested immediately. “I find you a mystery that I want to uncover.”
Bella smirked, a gleam in her eye that hadn’t been there before. “Should I change my name to Carmen Sandiego and start leaving behind clues for you to follow?”
“You know what I mean,” I said wryly, blushing.
Bella laughed. “I do, but it’s so fun to tease you.”
“Haha,” I mock laughed.
She shook her head, a smile playing across her lips, and just like that I wanted to kiss her. But I resisted because I had one more thing I wanted to address.
“Bella,” I said seriously, making her look at me. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I know- ” she started to say, but I cut her off.
“Wait, let me say this.” She nodded and I continued, “I think we should take this slow because this is all new for me.” I paused, taking a deep breath. “I’ve never had a girlfriend so I don’t really know what to do, but I want this to work. So we’ll go at whatever speed you’re comfortable with.”
“That’s really sweet of you,” Bella said earnestly. “Thank you.”
I shrugged. “I like you, Bella.”
“I like you too, Edward,” she replied, smiling. Bella scooted closer to me, laying her head against my shoulder, and I curved my arm around her back, lightly holding onto her waist.
Whatever had happened was in the past, which is where it could stay because all I wanted was Bella’s future. And more days where she smiled like she was happy to be with me.
We people-watched for a while, making each other laugh by trying to guess what someone was thinking or about to do, and just enjoyed each other’s company.
For starting out so crappy, it ended up being a rather great day.
It felt like we had cleared the air and could start really getting to know each other. And I couldn’t wait to spend every day with the girl in my arms, learning all of her quirks and the things that made her Bella.
~*~*~
A/N:What do you think? Did I explain everything? We good?
Refs/Defs -
‘You’re killing me, Smalls’ - From ‘Sandlot’ and I say it all the time. I love that movie. It’s so cute.
Carmen Sandiego - Don’t pretend you didn’t play the PC game “Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?” or watch the Nickelodeon show. You wanted a red trenchcoat and matching hat just as much as I did. (Props to Jen for suggesting I include this.)
Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
Genre: Romance/Humor
Pairings: Edward/Bella
Rating: NC-17
Chapter: 14/?
Warnings: Strong language, sexuality, and underage drinking.
Summary: Geeky Edward thinks he has absolutely no shot with the popular, beautiful Bella. Is he right, or will she be one of the many girls who thinks geeks make for better lovers? OOC-AH.
A/N:Thanks to Jen and Annie. You make me a better writer.
It’s short, but it holds the answers that you seek.
~*~*~
Oh, let the rain fall down
And wash this world away
Oh, let the sky be grey
Cause if it's ever gonna get any better
It's gotta get worse for a day
~"Rain" by Bishop Allen~
~*~*~
Chapter 14
EPOV
I yawned silently again and glanced at the clock. It was late… or early morning, depending on how you looked at it. The party had weaned down enough that I barely heard the people downstairs.
I was so tired and needed to leave, but I didn’t want to let go of Bella.
Just a quick nap to boost my strength, I promised myself as my eyelids slid shut. Then I’ll go home.
The next thing I knew I was slowly coming back into consciousness. I stretched out and found resistance in front of me. Rubbing my morning erection against it without thinking, I tightened my arms around the soft thing I was holding and hummed in contentment.
Then it moved.
That’s unusual, I groggily thought. Most pillows don’t move.
Memories from last night slipped in haphazardly and I realized where I was… and what I was doing.
I was rubbing myself against Bella.
Snapping awake, I stifled a groan when I saw Bella lying innocently in my arms while I was blatantly taking advantage of her unconscious state.
I hadn’t gone home like I’d planned. I must have fallen asleep during my ‘quick nap’.
Sometime during the night we had changed positions because I was curled around Bella like she was my security blanket, her back pressed against my chest. She shifted again and I froze, not sure what I should do. My right arm was under her and very much asleep, but I couldn’t move it without jarring Bella awake.
I needed a toothbrush, stat. And a shower. But first, I needed to get off this bed without Bella waking up to find I had turned into an octopus overnight.
Then it hit me.
I had spent the night with Bella. My first night with a girl! Granted it could have occurred under better circumstances, but it was still monumental.
I didn’t have time to do my happy dance though, because I still needed to extract myself from the bed. Both of her legs were between mine and easier to get loose than my arms. The mattress jiggled a little with my movements, but Bella didn’t wake, so I counted it a win.
Now that my legs were free, I could use them as leverage to pull myself away from Bella and hopefully, that would bring about the release of my arm. I watched the side of her face as I carefully removed my arm out from under her, trying desperately to ignore the sensation of my skin rubbing along the bottom of her breast.
A problem formed when all that was left was my hand.
I didn’t want my first real boob graze to happen while the other party was asleep. It didn’t seem right.
I thought briefly about fisting my hand, but that was pointless.
I didn’t know what to do. And there were two reasons for that. One, I had just woken up, so all the gears weren’t cranking at full speed yet, and two, I was starting to think maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to cope a feel while Bella was asleep.
It’s not like she’ll know, argued the newly discovered perverted side of my brain.
But it appeared all my arguing was for naught because Bella made the decision for me. She rolled over onto her stomach and the movement was so sudden that I didn’t have time to react as her warm, oh-so-squeezable breast fit perfectly into my open, waiting palm. My fingers curled instinctively around it and I grew rock hard, stretching the fabric of the front of my pants even more than I usually did in the morning.
My eyes closed and I flexed my fingers, enjoying everything about the moment.
Oooh… Bella’s breast was in my hand… I was touching it…
Wait.
What the hell was I doing? Groping a sleeping girl?!
I jumped back and pulled my arm toward me with more force than before. The momentum of pulling my arm back, combined with tensing my body from the jump, caused me to start rolling onto my back. And I hadn’t realized how close I was to the edge of the bed because I felt a moment of weightlessness as I scrambled to hold onto something before uttering a panicked, “Shit!”
Then I fell hard onto the floor with a thud.
“Hmm,” Bella moaned from the top of the bed and her head appeared above mine. I could only see the shape of her head because everything was blurry without my glasses on.
“Edward?” she asked with a rasp.
“Yeah,” I breathed, rolling onto my back with an ‘ooph’.
Her hands went to the sides of her head and she disappeared from view. I sat up when I heard more moaning and reached behind me, fumbling for my glasses on the nightstand, which I had miraculously avoided hitting.
Putting them on, I crossed my arms on top of the mattress and rested my chin on them. Bella was curled up in a ball with her eyes squeezed shut and her hands pressed against her temples.
I reached out to push her hair off of her forehead, hooking it behind her ear, but it didn’t really work with her hand in the way. She looked so miserable that I felt compelled to help her.
Bella cracked her eyes open and frowned. “It hurts,” she whispered.
“I know. Do you have any aspirin around here?” I asked quietly.
“Bathroom,” she said, closing her eyes again.
I got up and quickly located the bottle of aspirin in the medicine cabinet. Looking around, I didn’t see any cups for water, so I checked the small refrigerator that was on Alice’s side of the room. I grabbed a bottle of water, doubting she would mind, and walked back to Bella. Sitting down on the bed, I softly instructed, “Sit up so you can take these.”
Bella groaned, but obeyed. I scooted closer to keep one hand on her back while she swallowed the little white pills and drank half of the bottle.
I put the water aside when she was done and she crawled into my lap, laying her head in the crook of my neck. Thankfully my morning erection had dissipated, so I held Bella close and enjoyed the moment, putting off the conversation I knew we needed to have for just a few more seconds.
But it was inevitable that the time would come and I sighed, giving in to the nagging part of myself that demanded answers.
“Bella?” I began, rousing her from her half-asleep state.
“Hmm?” she replied, stirring in my arms.
“Do you remember what happened last night?”
She tensed at my words. “Yes,” she said, her voice strained.
“We don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to,” I suggested, giving her an out if she wanted it. She already felt like crap. I didn’t want to make it worse.
“No, it’s okay.” She curled herself closer to me and laughed once sardonically. “I’m very philosophical when I’ve had a couple drinks.”
“Yeah, you are,” I agreed, remembering her ‘lecture’ on loving someone.
“So… what do you want to know?”
“What happened last year?” I ran a hand down her hair and back and waited for her to start when she was ready.
“I wish I could say I was wise when it came to boys last year, but sadly, I wasn’t,” Bella began. “I went to a small high school and most of the guys there were a bit annoying at times, but overall good guys.” She took a deep breath and pulled away, looking up at me. “I don’t think I’m starting out well. I’m trying to reason away my behavior.”
“You’re killing me, Smalls,” I sighed, dropping my head so that my forehead rested on top of hers. “Just tell me what this Paul did so I can go kick his ass and be done with it.”
Bella shook her head and climbed out of my lap, turning around to face me. “He graduated. I don’t know where he is, even if I did want you to ‘kick his ass’.” She rubbed her temple and frowned. “This is useless. I feel nauseous and have a pounding headache. I’m in no shape to talk about this right now. Can I take a shower, brush my teeth, and change before we continue?”
“Yeah, that sounds good,” I replied, suddenly in a very foul mood. “Do you want to meet up for lunch?”
Bella glanced at the clock too quickly and winced, clutching the side of her head again. “Sure,” she said slowly. “How about the cafeteria at one?”
“Okay.” I located my shoes and forced my feet into them, not bothering to untie them. Standing up, I straightened my shirt and pushed a hand through my hair. With a glance over to Bella, I hesitated as sympathy dominated all other feelings that were running through me. “Are you going to be able to handle all that noise?”
She shrugged carefully. “If it’s too bad, we’ll take it to go.”
“Okay. I’ll give you a call when I get there.” The sympathy lessened, letting the unexplained anger take over again, and I started for the door after checking my pockets to make sure I had everything.
“Bye,” I heard Bella say quietly behind me.
I didn’t look back.
I couldn’t explain why I was so angry, just that I was.
Maybe it had something to do with how I had finally found a girl who I could talk to without coming off as a loser; who knew I was a massive geek, but didn’t seem to care; who actually enjoyed doing the same stuff that I did. And then to discover that she had emotional baggage… maybe that was my breaking point?
Did I really want to know what happened to her?
Would it change anything?
And where was all this hostility coming from?
I wasn’t this kind of guy. This was more Emmett’s style than mine.
I made it home and quickly showered, changed and brushed my teeth. I didn’t think it was wise to handle a razor in my current frame of mind, so I didn’t shave away the scruff.
With half an hour to waste before it was time to leave, I paced in my bedroom, trying to figure out what had happened to Bella.
The ‘whore’ comments from last night led me to think it was something bad. Something that would require therapy, if she wasn’t in it already.
I didn’t know what I would be able to handle. If it was truly bad, would I see Bella the same way? Was that why she was so reluctant to tell me?
Was that why a part of me didn’t want to know?
I had so many questions and my current mood wasn’t helping. I needed to remain open to whatever Bella told me and be patient with her. I did want to know, but I didn’t want it to change anything between us.
I knew I was falling in love with her, but I needed to know exactly who it was I was falling in love with.
It all circled back on itself. All my feelings, questions, and intentions all centered on what had taken place between Bella and Paul.
So to the cafeteria I went.
Most colleges have student cafeterias inside certain dormitories, but our school was a little different. We still had cafeterias in dorms, but they were small and rarely used by students who didn’t live there. Instead, everyone tended to go to the main cafeteria, which was a separate building in the middle of campus and referred to by the majority of students as ‘the cafeteria’.
I made my way there, jogging whenever my impatience got the best of me, and took out my cell phone once I spotted the main entrance. Bella answered and told me she was already in line for a salad, so I went in to try to find her.
It was crowded, but nowhere near the level it was during lunch time on a school day, which made locating Bella easier.
She looked a lot better than she had an hour and a half ago. More awake and aware.
She was wearing sunglasses inside, but florescent lighting could be harsh to someone who wasn’t recovering from a hangover so it made sense.
“Hey,” I said, laying a hand on her shoulder.
She jumped and then slowly turned. “Hey,” she answered.
I removed my hand, now feeling a bit awkward, and looked around. “I’m going to get a burger. Do you want to eat outside?”
“Yes, that would be… better,” she answered with a slight grimace, which was fine with me because I would rather hash this out in a more private setting anyway.
Grabbing a burger, fries and a drink, I paid for my meal and met Bella outside the front entrance. She steered us toward the small park area some yards away and we spread our food out between us on a wooden bench, sitting Indian style across from each other.
I’d never liked eating while someone sat across from me in silence, but somehow I got through it without dropping or spilling anything.
“Are you feeling any better?” I asked after I had scarfed down my burger.
Bella nodded. “Yeah. I took some more Tylenol, or Advil… or whatever it was that I had and I think it kicked in because my headache’s not as bad.”
“That’s good,” I said, picking up two fries and dipping them in the mountain of ketchup I’d made. We ate in silence for a little longer. I cleared my throat, feeling a bit uncomfortable when I was done eating, and started gathering up all my trash.
“You done?” I asked Bella, pointing at her picked-at salad.
“Yeah,” she replied, making a face. I cleared everything away and threw it in the nearest trash can before sitting back down, this time the way you’re supposed to sit on a bench, which put me sideways to Bella.
Cradling my drink in my lap, I bowed my head and waited for Bella to begin. I saw her squirm beside me in the corner of my eye and then she sighed, moving her sunglasses to the top of her head.
“I’m not going to get out of this, am I?”
I laughed, even though it wasn’t funny. I just needed to relieve some of the tension.
“Okay,” Bella said slowly. “I’m going to go at this like a band-aid. Just pull it off quickly and see what happens.” She took a deep breath and launched into it. “I met Paul last semester at one of the first sorority mixers I attended. I was immediately taken with him because he was cool, hot and a senior. He exuded charm and confidence, which made people flock to him, me included.”
She paused while I sank into a pit of despair.
Charm and confidence?
So, the opposite of me, I thought with a deprecating tone as Bella continued talking.
“Amazingly enough - at least I thought so at the time - he seemed to be into me too and we started dating. I heard rumors about him from some of the other girls in KD, but when I confronted him about it, he said they were just jealous. And I believed him, even though I should have known better. I don’t know why I believed him… God, I was so stupid.”
“What kind of rumors?” I interrupted, studying the slightly raised grain of the cup I held in my hands.
“Things like he was a player and went through girls like they were Kleenex. Variations of that, really,” she replied. “I should have listened. Especially when Angela got on the bandwagon and started warning me against him, but I thought I was in love. So I ignored them all and continued seeing Paul.”
Things slowly began to fall into place as she talked. Bella’s comments from last night were making a little more sense now.
“It was just before Valentine’s Day when I decided to… um, sleep with him. I thought it would be special, you know? We’d been together for only a couple weeks and I don’t normally move that fast, but I thought he was the ‘one’.”
A little piece of my heart ripped at hearing Bella mention sleeping with someone. I had wanted her all to myself.
Pushing that aside to deal with later, I resumed listening.
“I was so delusional,” she laughed bitterly. “It turned out that those ‘rumors’ were true because the moment after we had sex, he became a completely different person. He started seeing other girls right away and wouldn’t even talk to me without acting like a complete bastard.” Bella let out an unsteady breath and then sniffed. I looked at her then and felt an immediate rush of sympathy for the second time that day.
Reaching out timidly, I covered one of her hands. A corner of Bella’s mouth lifted and she flipped her hand over to intertwine her fingers with mine.
“Anyway,” she said, starting up again after getting herself under control. “I was really hurt by his actions because like I said, I thought I was in love with him. But it wasn’t really him, was it? It was my idea of him that I loved. The guy he pretended to be to get into my pants.”
“I’m so sorry, Bella.”
She shook her head. “It’s okay. I’m over it. Last night was just unexpected, so I had a minor relapse.”
“Am I being too nosy if I ask what Jake said to you before I came over?”
“Heh. He told me that he’d heard from Paul I was an easy lay and would give it up to anyone with a large dick. Then I asked him why he thought he would be included in that category. It… took him a second to get it.” She shook her head with a rueful smile. “He didn’t really like what I’d implied.”
I chuckled despite myself because I had just replayed his reaction in my mind. Hesitant to address it, but needing to know regardless, I ventured a question I normally wouldn’t ask. “So, that’s why you thought you were a whore?”
Bella winced. “I felt like one,” she whispered. “I felt dirty and used after what Jacob said.”
I was at a loss of what to say to that. Personal confessions had never been my forte.
I went for the reassuring tactic, hoping it would be enough. “You know I would never think that about you, right?”
“Really?” Bella looked up at me, all vulnerable and broken. It made me ache to look at her.
“Yes, really. Never in a billion years would I think that about you. Bella, to me… you’re perfect,” I replied, my heart in my throat.
“Thank you,” she said quietly with a small smile. I nodded and we sat in silence for a little while, just holding hands and mulling over what had been said.
“Anything else you want to know?” she asked.
“Yeah… last week, did you freak out because of what happened with that guy?”
“Kind of,” she said, frowning. “It spooked me more than anything because it was sooo soon.”
“Right. That was my bad.”
Bella rolled her eyes. “No, it was mine. I should have known it was too fast for us to do anything like that.”
“Hey, that’s not fair. You weren’t alone,” I countered.
She lightly pushed against my shoulder with her hand, but didn’t say anything. I felt horrible for her, and sad that she had gone through all of that, and angry that someone would mistreat her to the point where she questioned everything she did, and useless because the person I blamed was gone and I couldn’t do anything about it.
Well, that wasn’t true, I realized, watching Bella as she picked at the sole of her sneaker. I could be exactly the kind of guy she needed. Someone who cherished her and didn’t pressure her into doing something she didn’t want to do. Basically, someone who didn’t remind her of Paul, although I doubted I was even in the same league as him if Bella’s description was anything to go off of.
Bella must have felt me staring at her because she looked up straight into my eyes. “Do you want nothing to do with me now?” she joked half-heartedly.
“No, quite the contrary,” I protested immediately. “I find you a mystery that I want to uncover.”
Bella smirked, a gleam in her eye that hadn’t been there before. “Should I change my name to Carmen Sandiego and start leaving behind clues for you to follow?”
“You know what I mean,” I said wryly, blushing.
Bella laughed. “I do, but it’s so fun to tease you.”
“Haha,” I mock laughed.
She shook her head, a smile playing across her lips, and just like that I wanted to kiss her. But I resisted because I had one more thing I wanted to address.
“Bella,” I said seriously, making her look at me. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I know- ” she started to say, but I cut her off.
“Wait, let me say this.” She nodded and I continued, “I think we should take this slow because this is all new for me.” I paused, taking a deep breath. “I’ve never had a girlfriend so I don’t really know what to do, but I want this to work. So we’ll go at whatever speed you’re comfortable with.”
“That’s really sweet of you,” Bella said earnestly. “Thank you.”
I shrugged. “I like you, Bella.”
“I like you too, Edward,” she replied, smiling. Bella scooted closer to me, laying her head against my shoulder, and I curved my arm around her back, lightly holding onto her waist.
Whatever had happened was in the past, which is where it could stay because all I wanted was Bella’s future. And more days where she smiled like she was happy to be with me.
We people-watched for a while, making each other laugh by trying to guess what someone was thinking or about to do, and just enjoyed each other’s company.
For starting out so crappy, it ended up being a rather great day.
It felt like we had cleared the air and could start really getting to know each other. And I couldn’t wait to spend every day with the girl in my arms, learning all of her quirks and the things that made her Bella.
~*~*~
A/N:What do you think? Did I explain everything? We good?
Refs/Defs -
‘You’re killing me, Smalls’ - From ‘Sandlot’ and I say it all the time. I love that movie. It’s so cute.
Carmen Sandiego - Don’t pretend you didn’t play the PC game “Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?” or watch the Nickelodeon show. You wanted a red trenchcoat and matching hat just as much as I did. (Props to Jen for suggesting I include this.)
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