(no subject)
So - yeah. Blah. Pippin tomorrow. Then Vintage. SWEET.
(The top of a mountain; sunrise. ANN and BILL are sitting on a bench.)
ANNE: It’s cold.
BILL: No, I’m hot.
ANNE: I’m thirsty. It’s dry up here.
(BILL leafs through ANNE’s pockets and pulls up a couple of dollar bills.)
ANNE: Hey! That’s my lunch money!
BILL: I know.
ANNE: What did you take it for?
BILL: Me.
ANNE: Why?
BILL: I’m going to take over the world.
ANNE: (scoffing) What!
BILL: I said I’m going to take over the world.
ANNE: Why would you want to do a thing like that?
BILL: (shrugging) Because I can.
ANNE: Well, I think its easier to just sit up here on this mountain. It’s closer to the sun. So its warmer. I think. Except for the snow. Let’s build a snowman!
BILL: A snowman? What’s a snowman? We don’t need another friend! We’re fine just like this. Besides, it will be harder for me to take over the world if I have an army of snowmen to conquer.
ANNE: Wouldn’t they just melt, anyhow?
BILL: Not if they’re well constructed.
(A long pause. ANNE takes back the money.)
BILL: HEY! That was mine!
ANNE: No! It was mine! You took my lunch money!
BILL: You’re not even hungry! You said you were thirsty. It’s bad to eat when you’re thirsty, you know. Makes it worse.
ANNE: I’m not thirsty anymore. Besides, its my money, I can keep it for whatever I want.
BILL: If I take it then I’ll give it back to you.
ANNE: Then why would you take it in the first place?
BILL: I told you, because I can.
ANNE: What do you want with it, anyhow?
BILL: TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!
ANNE: Sheesh!
BILL: If I take your money now, then I can take over the world, and then someday because I’ll be the Supreme Leader, I’ll have lots more money, and I’ll find you, and give it back.
ANNE: Hmm. (thinking) I guess that makes sense. (He reluctantly hands her the money.) I still don’t see what money has to do with it.
BILL: It doesn’t. It just helps, that’s all.
ANNE: But why?
BILL: Because I have it and you don’t!
ANNE: Alright. I give up. (BILL leafs through the money proudly, while ANNE watches in concern.) Want to build a snowman?
BILL: I told you, no.
ANNE: I do. Because I’m thirsty. If it melts, then I can drink it.
BILL: Suit yourself. I’ve got a job to do. P.S., they won’t melt. (BILL exits, still leafing through the money.)
(ANNE gets on the ground and starts building a pile of snow.)
ANNE: Feet. (She rounds out the mound) Hmm. No, not feet. He’ll be upside down. (She starts to construct an even bigger mound on top - clearly, physics does not allow. It starts to crumble and she tries to mend it.) Stupid snow! Stay! (she gives up for the last time, cries, and smashes the entire snowman.) Psh, not if they’re well constructed. They won’t melt if they’re well constructed. How do you construct them well? (she starts to cry) I’m telling you, every time I try -
(The ground starts to rumble. A starts screaming.)
ANNE: TORNADO! HURRICANE! EARTHQUAKE! AHHHHHHH!
(She sits on the ground and covers her head, a sad attempt at protection. The ground stops rumbling. ANNE looks around, confused.)
(The voice of BILL comes off from the distance)
VOICE OF BILL: Sorry! Oh, gosh, sorry. I guess that’s what happens when you try to move a mountain.
ANNE: What? What are you trying to do? Hey, my snowman melted!
BILL: That’s beside the point! I need your help.
ANNE: Psh, not after you took my lunch money.
(End Scene)
(The top of a mountain; sunrise. ANN and BILL are sitting on a bench.)
ANNE: It’s cold.
BILL: No, I’m hot.
ANNE: I’m thirsty. It’s dry up here.
(BILL leafs through ANNE’s pockets and pulls up a couple of dollar bills.)
ANNE: Hey! That’s my lunch money!
BILL: I know.
ANNE: What did you take it for?
BILL: Me.
ANNE: Why?
BILL: I’m going to take over the world.
ANNE: (scoffing) What!
BILL: I said I’m going to take over the world.
ANNE: Why would you want to do a thing like that?
BILL: (shrugging) Because I can.
ANNE: Well, I think its easier to just sit up here on this mountain. It’s closer to the sun. So its warmer. I think. Except for the snow. Let’s build a snowman!
BILL: A snowman? What’s a snowman? We don’t need another friend! We’re fine just like this. Besides, it will be harder for me to take over the world if I have an army of snowmen to conquer.
ANNE: Wouldn’t they just melt, anyhow?
BILL: Not if they’re well constructed.
(A long pause. ANNE takes back the money.)
BILL: HEY! That was mine!
ANNE: No! It was mine! You took my lunch money!
BILL: You’re not even hungry! You said you were thirsty. It’s bad to eat when you’re thirsty, you know. Makes it worse.
ANNE: I’m not thirsty anymore. Besides, its my money, I can keep it for whatever I want.
BILL: If I take it then I’ll give it back to you.
ANNE: Then why would you take it in the first place?
BILL: I told you, because I can.
ANNE: What do you want with it, anyhow?
BILL: TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!
ANNE: Sheesh!
BILL: If I take your money now, then I can take over the world, and then someday because I’ll be the Supreme Leader, I’ll have lots more money, and I’ll find you, and give it back.
ANNE: Hmm. (thinking) I guess that makes sense. (He reluctantly hands her the money.) I still don’t see what money has to do with it.
BILL: It doesn’t. It just helps, that’s all.
ANNE: But why?
BILL: Because I have it and you don’t!
ANNE: Alright. I give up. (BILL leafs through the money proudly, while ANNE watches in concern.) Want to build a snowman?
BILL: I told you, no.
ANNE: I do. Because I’m thirsty. If it melts, then I can drink it.
BILL: Suit yourself. I’ve got a job to do. P.S., they won’t melt. (BILL exits, still leafing through the money.)
(ANNE gets on the ground and starts building a pile of snow.)
ANNE: Feet. (She rounds out the mound) Hmm. No, not feet. He’ll be upside down. (She starts to construct an even bigger mound on top - clearly, physics does not allow. It starts to crumble and she tries to mend it.) Stupid snow! Stay! (she gives up for the last time, cries, and smashes the entire snowman.) Psh, not if they’re well constructed. They won’t melt if they’re well constructed. How do you construct them well? (she starts to cry) I’m telling you, every time I try -
(The ground starts to rumble. A starts screaming.)
ANNE: TORNADO! HURRICANE! EARTHQUAKE! AHHHHHHH!
(She sits on the ground and covers her head, a sad attempt at protection. The ground stops rumbling. ANNE looks around, confused.)
(The voice of BILL comes off from the distance)
VOICE OF BILL: Sorry! Oh, gosh, sorry. I guess that’s what happens when you try to move a mountain.
ANNE: What? What are you trying to do? Hey, my snowman melted!
BILL: That’s beside the point! I need your help.
ANNE: Psh, not after you took my lunch money.
(End Scene)