(no subject)
It's nice to know that there's bad fanfiction in ANY language.
[Somehow...can't remember how, I wasn't even looking for fics] discovered a bunch of bad chinese fics today.
One of the titles was (translated) "The Holy Cantaloupe-flavoured Soy Milk".
From what I skimmed, looks like a girl buys a carton of cantaloupe-flavoured soy milk and wishes that she had a boyfriend. And the carton of milk goes "okay dokay!". The girl faints, and ends up in some forest by a river. Some celebrity guy picks her up. Her ankle's apparently injured pretty badly, and so...she stays with him for two months.
Meanwhile, I wonder why no one's actually, you know, *looking* for her. I'd be kinda concerned if some girl was missing for two months. Or is this forest so secluded that no one knows to look there? Then...how does she know how to get home (and by walking, I presume)?
Anyway, the guy starts crying and begging her not to leave. But she was adamant about going back to her family and to school, even though she (ohmygawd) loves him. :D She takes the cantaloupe-flavoured soy milk and they start walking back, but then they get lost and it starts raining and they duck into some cave. *deep breath* From this point on, allow me to change into script form:
Boy: Are you cold?
Girl: Nah. Hey, why don't you want me to go?
Boy: Er.
Girl: Do...you...have...someone...you...like...?
Boy: Er. Yeah.
Girl: noooomylifeisOVER
[later; they're both sleeping]
Boy: *not actually sleeping* The one I really like is you! TOT don't leave~~~
Girl: *awake as well* omgREALLY? Then I won't leave! :DDD
[three-minute kiss. Yeah, the author actually puts it down as a "three minute long kiss", and was even nice enough to tell us when the kiss ends. So, "After the kiss ends":]
Boy: You...
Girl: Don't say anything 'cause I really like you too! <3 <3 <3
Boy: But...I only meant I really like you as a sister...or a best friend...
Even in the cave, she's holding onto the soy milk. Wouldn't...it be smelling really bad by then...? We're talking about over two months. :B
That night, some fairy spirit thing flies out of the carton and blabbers on about how happy the couple was and how they have the same birthday, blahblahblah. They couldn't be together in their past life, so now they're together, yay.
That was actually pretty entertaining. In a "wtf" sense.
Hong Kong is planning on having some kind of singing contest show, something along the lines of American Idol. An eight-year-old girl auditioned, but didn't make it. Actually, she was stopped pretty soon after she started. :P On the bus going home, she started arguing and fighting with her mother (about failing the audition), and when they got off she ran away. XD Disappeared for an hour and some! Meanwhile her mother had a heart attack, and they were going to sue the company for giving them stress. Or something. *bangs head* But the company is going to give the girl another chance at auditioning, so the mother decided not to sue. Now the mother and daughter are complaining about "unwanted media attention".
Pfffffft.
[Somehow...can't remember how, I wasn't even looking for fics] discovered a bunch of bad chinese fics today.
One of the titles was (translated) "The Holy Cantaloupe-flavoured Soy Milk".
From what I skimmed, looks like a girl buys a carton of cantaloupe-flavoured soy milk and wishes that she had a boyfriend. And the carton of milk goes "okay dokay!". The girl faints, and ends up in some forest by a river. Some celebrity guy picks her up. Her ankle's apparently injured pretty badly, and so...she stays with him for two months.
Meanwhile, I wonder why no one's actually, you know, *looking* for her. I'd be kinda concerned if some girl was missing for two months. Or is this forest so secluded that no one knows to look there? Then...how does she know how to get home (and by walking, I presume)?
Anyway, the guy starts crying and begging her not to leave. But she was adamant about going back to her family and to school, even though she (ohmygawd) loves him. :D She takes the cantaloupe-flavoured soy milk and they start walking back, but then they get lost and it starts raining and they duck into some cave. *deep breath* From this point on, allow me to change into script form:
Boy: Are you cold?
Girl: Nah. Hey, why don't you want me to go?
Boy: Er.
Girl: Do...you...have...someone...you...like...?
Boy: Er. Yeah.
Girl: noooomylifeisOVER
[later; they're both sleeping]
Boy: *not actually sleeping* The one I really like is you! TOT don't leave~~~
Girl: *awake as well* omgREALLY? Then I won't leave! :DDD
[three-minute kiss. Yeah, the author actually puts it down as a "three minute long kiss", and was even nice enough to tell us when the kiss ends. So, "After the kiss ends":]
Boy: You...
Girl: Don't say anything 'cause I really like you too! <3 <3 <3
Boy: But...I only meant I really like you as a sister...or a best friend...
Even in the cave, she's holding onto the soy milk. Wouldn't...it be smelling really bad by then...? We're talking about over two months. :B
That night, some fairy spirit thing flies out of the carton and blabbers on about how happy the couple was and how they have the same birthday, blahblahblah. They couldn't be together in their past life, so now they're together, yay.
That was actually pretty entertaining. In a "wtf" sense.
Hong Kong is planning on having some kind of singing contest show, something along the lines of American Idol. An eight-year-old girl auditioned, but didn't make it. Actually, she was stopped pretty soon after she started. :P On the bus going home, she started arguing and fighting with her mother (about failing the audition), and when they got off she ran away. XD Disappeared for an hour and some! Meanwhile her mother had a heart attack, and they were going to sue the company for giving them stress. Or something. *bangs head* But the company is going to give the girl another chance at auditioning, so the mother decided not to sue. Now the mother and daughter are complaining about "unwanted media attention".
Pfffffft.