...ooooohhhh, no. Oh hell no. I'm used to dealing with Oriental-family-idiocy, but this just takes the damn cake.
It's not even that they asked you to do it, but then not only not giving you credit for it, but keeping up saying that you're horrible and she's awesome?
No. Just...no.
You don't even need to actually do anything more. Just refuse to help her, utterly refuse, because if they think you're so bad, why do they want you to help their little precious? They'll soon see what she really is. I can't believe that.
Sure, it may be a little unfair for you to treat her that way (not too unfair, mind you), but it's so much more unfair for your family to be shitting on you the way they are. That's just...ew. I know it really doesn't do you much good to know that someone else agrees with you, but still.
the thing is, after thinking about it, it's not really my cousin's fault. I'm pretty sure everything's orchestrated by her mother and my mother and our relatives. I don't think she even really knows what she has to do for the student visa.
But because she is the core of all this, I'm afraid that I'll misdirect the resentment towards her.
Thank you so much, though. Your reply means a lot to me.
Gosh Ceci. I feel your pain. My mother and I were talking about how asians and especially my GRANDMOTHER in general keep putting down the North American system as being a failure and that kids here are always troublesome and stuff like that. I can stand hearing it once or twice, but I have put up with it for the past FIVE years
( ... )
Ahhh your grandmother does it too? I do like my cousin, and I want to like my cousin, but I can't shed all the resentment. And it's not even her fault, it's my other relatives who made the situation that way.
you're hard-working
Wait, are you sure you went to Bishop Carroll?
I don't mind comparison in general. I think it's healthy in small doses; gives me some sort of competition, some sort of goal. But I can't stand it when it's with someone so close as a family member. It just hurts more that way, not exactly sure how to put it. :/
I'm planning on ditching Carole and leaving her to be the sole Apple Geek. Though I just finished an apple five minutes ago.
Even though I'm not really anyway asian, my parents have taken more or less for granted all my accomplishments, acting like it was nothing special that I was at the top, because I'd always been at the top. bleh. didn't pass it off as "luck", but have always said that it's "the will of god." (I don't believe in him, so he probably doesn't want to do me any favors.)
and you are NOT fat. I am curious. Do they base that observation on your actual measurements or the number on the scale? Because they really ought to realize that since you're a vaulted "tall female", you by default are going to weigh more. but...I doubt they think about it very scientifically. heh.
I'm amazed you wrote the application for her student visa. Don't let them make you do things like that once she's there. You have to put down your boundaries.
When do you get to move out, anyway? after uni? I guess just be steadfast and resolved not to let it beat you til then.
I agree with Roar. Wow, your parents would think I am severely obese. :O My goodness. You're actually quite the opposite, Ceci. Please don't listen to your parents. Sometimes when I'm walking around town, I see these ridiculously skinny girls and then I start wondering about how they would actually go through childbirth. I picture their frames cracking under the extra weight of a child inside them. :O And when I hug some of my skinny friends, I'm afraid that I'm gonna break their bones, coz they feel so fragile. Don't turn into one of them!
re: weight How you look, and actual numbers. Beh, the ideal is like 5'8" and 100lbs or something like that. Or maybe it was 5'10". I can't remember. No matter your height, 100lbs is the goal. So uh...time to cut down. :P
I wrote it because they were really running low on time. :/ I regret writing it, but I couldn't just say no. I'll probably move out after university, yeah. Moving out's not the thing here, it's just avoiding conversation with them.
That freakin' sucks. I've more or less experienced and heard stories of this Asian-family treatment, but this one is one of the most awful situations I've heard to date.
I know that this isn't a solution, but one of the ways I deal is this is not to deal with it. Generally, it means not spending so much time at home either working, going to school, or going out and coming back when you need to. Like I said, this isn't a solution, but it's a way to get your parents out of your hair. Then, when you're financially stable, you can move the heck out of there.
You're not fat and you're not weak. You're a strong and determined person and trust me, I've seen petty and this is NOT petty.
Nnn yeah, I've been doing that. I haven't been at home much. :x Having a summer job helps, I'm out at least 12 hours a day. :P And then I go out with friends. *thumbs up* I don't particularly want to move out. I'm okay with the situation, it's really not that bad. As long as I don't talk to them, it's all good. Thankfully, people in my family are pretty used to ignoring me, and me ignoring them. :D
Whoa. Things sound really bad for you...Asian parents love comparing their children to other people. I've heard plenty of reports about my mom's friends' kids getting As and going to "good schools" and stuff. Admittedly, my results are nothing great, but you'd think they'd lay off the comparisons after a while. Anyway. I don't think you're being petty. It's perfectly reasonable. Why should you have to do the work for someone too lazy to move a finger? Helping a little is fine, but doing the whole damn thing...Just not fair for you at all.
Perhaps your parents put you down so much because they want you to improve and prove them wrong. It's what my mum does, anyway. And it really grates on my nerves when she does that. They're probably afraid that if they praised you, you'd slack off. Ugh.
I have no idea what the HK education system is like, but the education system here's pretty tough too. :o
It's not worth getting yourself too worked up over this. Lighten up a little, Ceci! :3 I hope things turn out okay!
but you'd think they'd lay off the comparisons after a while.
On the other hand, this generation's asian parents seem to love their kids to bits and put them up on pedestals...
Perhaps your parents put you down so much because they want you to improve and prove them wrong.
That's part of the reason, yeah. X| I agree with that method, but sometimes it's just a tad overbearing. Hearing the same thing over and over again, everyday for 18 years...
They're probably afraid that if they praised you, you'd slack off.
And develop an over-inflated ego and gasp, how dare you be proud of yourself! TOT *shot*
I have no idea what the HK education system is like, but the education system here's pretty tough too. :o
Yeah, as with pretty much all of Asia. The system is tough in Hong Kong, and I know that even though I only did kindergarten and part of Gr. 1 there. I still remember how proud I was when I scored 100 on all my finals in grade one...T__T
I'm dealing dandy. :D Thanks a lot for replying, I just needed to get a bit of hot air
Comments 20
It's not even that they asked you to do it, but then not only not giving you credit for it, but keeping up saying that you're horrible and she's awesome?
No. Just...no.
You don't even need to actually do anything more. Just refuse to help her, utterly refuse, because if they think you're so bad, why do they want you to help their little precious? They'll soon see what she really is. I can't believe that.
Sure, it may be a little unfair for you to treat her that way (not too unfair, mind you), but it's so much more unfair for your family to be shitting on you the way they are. That's just...ew. I know it really doesn't do you much good to know that someone else agrees with you, but still.
*hugs*
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But because she is the core of all this, I'm afraid that I'll misdirect the resentment towards her.
Thank you so much, though. Your reply means a lot to me.
Reply
Reply
I do like my cousin, and I want to like my cousin, but I can't shed all the resentment. And it's not even her fault, it's my other relatives who made the situation that way.
you're hard-working
Wait, are you sure you went to Bishop Carroll?
I don't mind comparison in general. I think it's healthy in small doses; gives me some sort of competition, some sort of goal. But I can't stand it when it's with someone so close as a family member. It just hurts more that way, not exactly sure how to put it. :/
I'm planning on ditching Carole and leaving her to be the sole Apple Geek.
Though I just finished an apple five minutes ago.
*puncha*
Reply
Even though I'm not really anyway asian, my parents have taken more or less for granted all my accomplishments, acting like it was nothing special that I was at the top, because I'd always been at the top. bleh. didn't pass it off as "luck", but have always said that it's "the will of god." (I don't believe in him, so he probably doesn't want to do me any favors.)
and you are NOT fat. I am curious. Do they base that observation on your actual measurements or the number on the scale? Because they really ought to realize that since you're a vaulted "tall female", you by default are going to weigh more. but...I doubt they think about it very scientifically. heh.
I'm amazed you wrote the application for her student visa. Don't let them make you do things like that once she's there. You have to put down your boundaries.
When do you get to move out, anyway? after uni? I guess just be steadfast and resolved not to let it beat you til then.
<3
Reply
I agree with Roar. Wow, your parents would think I am severely obese. :O My goodness. You're actually quite the opposite, Ceci. Please don't listen to your parents. Sometimes when I'm walking around town, I see these ridiculously skinny girls and then I start wondering about how they would actually go through childbirth. I picture their frames cracking under the extra weight of a child inside them. :O And when I hug some of my skinny friends, I'm afraid that I'm gonna break their bones, coz they feel so fragile. Don't turn into one of them!
Reply
re: weight
How you look, and actual numbers.
Beh, the ideal is like 5'8" and 100lbs or something like that. Or maybe it was 5'10". I can't remember. No matter your height, 100lbs is the goal. So uh...time to cut down. :P
I wrote it because they were really running low on time. :/ I regret writing it, but I couldn't just say no.
I'll probably move out after university, yeah. Moving out's not the thing here, it's just avoiding conversation with them.
Thanks. :)
Reply
I know that this isn't a solution, but one of the ways I deal is this is not to deal with it. Generally, it means not spending so much time at home either working, going to school, or going out and coming back when you need to. Like I said, this isn't a solution, but it's a way to get your parents out of your hair. Then, when you're financially stable, you can move the heck out of there.
You're not fat and you're not weak. You're a strong and determined person and trust me, I've seen petty and this is NOT petty.
Aja! Aja! Fighting!
Reply
I don't particularly want to move out. I'm okay with the situation, it's really not that bad. As long as I don't talk to them, it's all good. Thankfully, people in my family are pretty used to ignoring me, and me ignoring them. :D
Thanks a lot, Tak. :3
Aja! Aja! Fighting! XD << what???
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Perhaps your parents put you down so much because they want you to improve and prove them wrong. It's what my mum does, anyway. And it really grates on my nerves when she does that. They're probably afraid that if they praised you, you'd slack off. Ugh.
I have no idea what the HK education system is like, but the education system here's pretty tough too. :o
It's not worth getting yourself too worked up over this. Lighten up a little, Ceci! :3 I hope things turn out okay!
Reply
On the other hand, this generation's asian parents seem to love their kids to bits and put them up on pedestals...
Perhaps your parents put you down so much because they want you to improve and prove them wrong.
That's part of the reason, yeah. X| I agree with that method, but sometimes it's just a tad overbearing. Hearing the same thing over and over again, everyday for 18 years...
They're probably afraid that if they praised you, you'd slack off.
And develop an over-inflated ego and gasp, how dare you be proud of yourself! TOT
*shot*
I have no idea what the HK education system is like, but the education system here's pretty tough too. :o
Yeah, as with pretty much all of Asia. The system is tough in Hong Kong, and I know that even though I only did kindergarten and part of Gr. 1 there. I still remember how proud I was when I scored 100 on all my finals in grade one...T__T
I'm dealing dandy. :D Thanks a lot for replying, I just needed to get a bit of hot air
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