Old-People Drivers

[cefirus]

I used to get really impatient behind old-people drivers. I mean, they veer all over the road and they're slow and they put on their turn signal roughly fourteen years before they turn, and have all sorts of other irritating characteristics that I'm sure everyone's familiar with.

About a month ago, after mostly impatiently waiting for a big old

Comments

[blueiiidgirl36]

Patience. Tolerance. Forgiveness

[cefirus]

My grandparents, whom I loved dearly, were similarly hard-headed. I should say my grandfather was hard-headed; my grandmother was too sweet to take offense (or had gotten tired of taking offense). I asked them once, having called them from my boarding school, how they met. And they gave me a perfect "Harry met Sally" scene about how they met as teenagers who lived on neighboring farms and that was that.

It's one of my ideas to interview couples who've been married for a long long while (or have been long-term partners) about their stories, how they met, broke up, fell in love with each other again, etc. It would be terrifically romantic (at least I'd edit it to be so) and would be heartwarming and on and on. Chicken Soup for the Dating Soul, I'd say.

[blueiiidgirl36]

I think that would be an awesome project to do even if you never wrote the stories down. Think how much you could learn. With the possible variations in people, relationships and circumstances, you could probably inteview for years and years and never get the same answers twice. The book would definitely need editing for length. =)

[cefirus]

I think I'm also interested not just in the relationship piece (which is fascinating in and of itself) but also because I love hearing people's stories: their trials and their fears and their history and what they want for themselves. To my great happiness, I seem to be a person to whom people are especially willing to talk to about their lives, and I'd really like to find a way to honor that. I've got other things on the to-do list first, but I'll keep you updated ;-)

[eldestpredator]

I was at our Feb Club party last night, and as I was walking up the stairs from the beer pong room to the regular party room, I saw my friend Jeff. I was excited that he had shown up, and I went to say hi, and he slapped me. Apparently, while I was downstairs the guys had started slapping each other. I got slapped a few more times, and the guys seemed befuddled that I didn't slap them back.

I don't really know how to hit someone without really hitting someone. I know how to go full force, and I know how to keep the blows to myself, but I'm not very good at the stuff in between.

I guess it's the kind of thing I'll have to learn, lest I become totally passive-agressive or hideously acrimonious in my disputes with whatever lady is sweet enough to want to spend some of her time with me.

[cefirus]

I find that hard to believe, since you played hockey for awhile. You can't just level everyone out there on the ice (or you could, but you'd get very used to looking at the floor of the penalty box). More generally, I think there's something to be said about sports giving guys/girls a way to be aggressive without killing anyone.

Since a lot of time has passed between then and now, I can see how it would be difficult. But I do think physical violence and emotional violence are two different things, even though they are connected by anger. Neither are beneficial to a relationship, but punching your girlfriend and saying incredibly cruel things have, it seems to me, different echelons.

I'm not worried about acrimony, and you don't strike me as very passive, so I may deign to spend a bit more time with you (assuming beneath the high falutin' language you might have been referring to me)

[eldestpredator]

On the ice, or the football or lacrosse field, the question is always whether to hit, not how hard to hit. When it's correct to hit, I hit as hard as I can. I want to hit people so hard they want to quit and go home. What I'm saying is not that I'm incapable of deciding when to hit or not- what I'm incapable of is hitting but not hard.

Medium Speed

[cefirus]

I don't think this is something I've experienced, maybe because I've never really had many reasons or places to be physically violent (other than fights with my brother when we were younger....sorry Ben). And hockey, but that was mostly playtime and I was never really angry when I was tussling with people on the ice.

The only analogy I can draw is that I've always been an all or nothing person in terms of my efforts, meaning academics or relationships or whatever. I don't do things halfway; I'm either pushing myself beyond the point of exhaustion in yoga or running or philosophy or whatever, or I'm completely laid back and refuse to be bothered. The latter doesn't happen often. So it's been a real challenge for me to find a middle ground; effort without the perfectionistic pressure, life without the huge chasm between two poles.

This may bear no relation to what you're describing, but if it does, I'll say there's hope of learning middle ground and hitting medium speed.