*sigh*
ok, this was just supposed to be a rant about how deficient my stupid computer is, but it turned into a rant about how deficient I am, so
why is it that my computer is always 150,000 steps behind everything???? i have never in my life owned a computer that will do what i want it to do, namely play games. ya know, i don't have particularly difficult gaming tastes; i have age of mythology, civ 4, railroads, rollercoaster tycoon 3, simcity 4, and i just bought star trek: legacy at target cuz it was only fifteen bux. and really? no computer i have ever owned has been able to properly handle these games. it drives me crazy, cuz i don't have five grand to shell out for a proper gaming computer, and really, i don't need a proper gaming computer! i just need something that can handle my games without them skipping and hiccuping and freezing...i mean, my pc can't even get past the "i made this!" logos for star trek, how bad is that??? i have an old lego game from like, ten years ago, and my pc can barely handle THAT!! i am so SICK of having deficient hardware, but i don't have the finances or the knowledge to fix the problem. i mean, even if i had the money, all i know is that my computer sux and is deficient. i don't know in what way. i don't know what it needs. i don't know how to fix the problem, and it drives me fucking crazy. hindsight's twenty-twenty, right? i wish at some point in my life i'd decided that it would be a good idea to learn about computers, cuz then, not only could i build one, or at least know which one to buy, but maybe i'd have a job, given where i live. *sigh*
fuck. i am made of fail. and all you people out there who know everything about computers just make me feel worse. not intentionally of course, cuz i don't know people like that, but it comes so easily to you people. it's like breathing. you guys just speak computer, and i can't wrap my brain around it. jeff tries to explain things to me, and i just wanna hit him for how stupid i feel. i can write. i can sing. i can cook without measuring, and make drinks blindfolded. i can build legos. i can transform transformers. translation: i can't do anything worthwhile. everyone's always talking about, "no, but you're so cool, cuz you know EVERYTHING about transformers, or movie stars, or legos, or blah blah fucking blah." who cares??? these are not marketable skills. these are not worthwhile skills. these are not skills that can make a difference, and it makes me feel even worse when people try to make me feel better by pointing out these things as if they were bonuses. i know you mean well, but really? what good does it really do to be able to rattle off the names and bios of a bunch of toys and games...?
ok. i'm gonna try to stop feeling sorry for myself now. sorry. :)
why is it that my computer is always 150,000 steps behind everything???? i have never in my life owned a computer that will do what i want it to do, namely play games. ya know, i don't have particularly difficult gaming tastes; i have age of mythology, civ 4, railroads, rollercoaster tycoon 3, simcity 4, and i just bought star trek: legacy at target cuz it was only fifteen bux. and really? no computer i have ever owned has been able to properly handle these games. it drives me crazy, cuz i don't have five grand to shell out for a proper gaming computer, and really, i don't need a proper gaming computer! i just need something that can handle my games without them skipping and hiccuping and freezing...i mean, my pc can't even get past the "i made this!" logos for star trek, how bad is that??? i have an old lego game from like, ten years ago, and my pc can barely handle THAT!! i am so SICK of having deficient hardware, but i don't have the finances or the knowledge to fix the problem. i mean, even if i had the money, all i know is that my computer sux and is deficient. i don't know in what way. i don't know what it needs. i don't know how to fix the problem, and it drives me fucking crazy. hindsight's twenty-twenty, right? i wish at some point in my life i'd decided that it would be a good idea to learn about computers, cuz then, not only could i build one, or at least know which one to buy, but maybe i'd have a job, given where i live. *sigh*
fuck. i am made of fail. and all you people out there who know everything about computers just make me feel worse. not intentionally of course, cuz i don't know people like that, but it comes so easily to you people. it's like breathing. you guys just speak computer, and i can't wrap my brain around it. jeff tries to explain things to me, and i just wanna hit him for how stupid i feel. i can write. i can sing. i can cook without measuring, and make drinks blindfolded. i can build legos. i can transform transformers. translation: i can't do anything worthwhile. everyone's always talking about, "no, but you're so cool, cuz you know EVERYTHING about transformers, or movie stars, or legos, or blah blah fucking blah." who cares??? these are not marketable skills. these are not worthwhile skills. these are not skills that can make a difference, and it makes me feel even worse when people try to make me feel better by pointing out these things as if they were bonuses. i know you mean well, but really? what good does it really do to be able to rattle off the names and bios of a bunch of toys and games...?
ok. i'm gonna try to stop feeling sorry for myself now. sorry. :)