Seriously?

[celandinehobbit]

I recently was told by a friend that in the time she has known me (which has been a few years) that she still doesn't know me personally very well. I was shocked to say the least as I had thought that I was very open with her about my private life as we have talked about things..things that not too many people really *do* know but which I thought

Comments

[liz_love]

I don't know you that well but I don't feel you're closed off either.
I think it's totally normal that you're not sharing EVERYTHING. I know everything about my best friend but she's very open and social. I'm not like that so I'm not into sharing personal stuff but I still think she gets most of my life and feelings.

There are also things I haven't told normal friends because I think it doesn't concern them or I just don't want them to know for fear they'll treat me another way. Being personal and closed off are 2 completely different things.
And having an LJ already shows you don't fear sharing your thoughts and feelings btw.

Hope this helps a bit ;-)

*hugs*

[celandinehobbit]

Thanks for the encouraging words. I did feel I was opening up and telling this person things that I thought were very personal. I guess it wasnt enough, well at least for her. Maybe its a matter of perspective. What one might call 'opening up' another feels is 'closed' type thing. I dunno.

[liz_love]

I'm sure it's a matter of perspective. Everyone has different levels of private stuff they want or don't want to share. She shares easily, you don't. It's just who you are =)

[gater88]

*Hugs*

No Cel, you are not that closed off. I actually think you are rather open with your friends. I'm sure there are plenty of things I would like to know about you but I am happy to find out without having to ask and just getting to know you better. I know we don't really know each other that well and that we don't talk that much but I personally consider you to be a really good friend. I'm looking forward to getting to know you better. So don't worry about it, I'm certain everyone else will tell you the same thing. You don't have to share everything with everyone, I know sometimes it can help, but it isn't always in everyone's best interest... and it is yours you need to be thinking of, no matter what anyone tells you.

[celandinehobbit]

Thanks Amb. That last bit about taking care of what is mine really helps. It brings my focus and worry back to myself and the fact that I should worry how I'm coming across to people so much. I mean, it did hurt when it was said cos, honestly I'm not that flamboyantly open with every single detail I've experienced, but I had thought I'd shared a piece of me that nobody else knew. It was a moment of thinking it just wasnt good enough. But anyways, thanks muchly and I *do* look forward to getting to know you better come November when I invade your place, empty your fridge and kick Eve's arse in Wii. :P

[sunkrux]

Considering I don't really know you that much, I'm just here to give you a hug. *hug* :D

Did this friend also ask you any questions she doesn't know the answers to about you? You realize that in order to get to know someone really well, sometimes YOU (meaning your friend) should ask questions.

Friendship is a two way street, that can at times be a little bumpy. If your lucky though you have friends who will weather the bumps with you.

[celandinehobbit]

*gathers hugs* She told me she didnt want to ask any questions as she felt it would come out in time. *shrug*

I have some rl friends though that I woldnt trade for anything so yes, you are completely correct. Thanks for the help and advice. :)

[sunkrux]

Excuse me? She's complaining that you're not open with her but she's not willing to ask questions? She needs to hush then, imho. I mean no disrespect to her, but seriously she shouldn't get upset or comment that you're not open enough with her if she's not willing to work at/on/with the relationship as well.

*hugs*

[celandinehobbit]

Maybe its just a case of her not wanting to know...who knows. *shrug* I still call her a good friend despite everything and just hope the strained friendship we now have will heal a bit with time. *hugs*

[noobianrose]

Oh wow! What an . . . interesting thing for her to say. I mean I guess I don't know you *too* well myself, having only just met you for a super fun time at the con this summer, but I felt like I really got a sense of who you are as a person. How you treat others, what you're doing in life right now, what you'd like to do, etc. I would try not to worry about this too much. I think you're a wonderful person. I've never felt, in any of our conversations, pushed away or blocked. I hope that helped you at least a little. *hugs*

[celandinehobbit]

Aww thanks! I had an awesome time at the con last August and meeting you was a bonus to the whole week I was there.:) I do love meeting new people. *nods* Thanks for the edification too. It goes a long way in helping me. *hugs*

[sg1su]

I don't know you that well either, just having met you at AT3 and reading your LJ comments. But I don't think you're closed off or are pushing people away. Could your friend give an explanation as to why she has the impression of not knowing you well?

[celandinehobbit]

I really dont know why she thinks as thus. I mean we've been friends for a few years and have both gone through some 'stuff' respectively...it might just be a matter of perspective like I said before. For me, it's the 'give and take' in a friendship that draws people together. I thought we both and shared enough..

We need to do some major hangin' out at AT4 though! Last year was too quirky with the weekend cut short for you. *hugs*