8 Days of Wincest - Season 8
Well, I didn't manage to post for most days of 8 Days of Wincest, but here are some season 8 thoughts and some Wincest podfic recs.
Why didn't Sam look for Dean?
I've been reading a lot of Sam meta lately, and I think I finally have some decent head canon for Sam not looking for Dean while he was in purgatory.
I haven't actually read anyone say this, but I doubt I'm the first. I think Sam was motivated by fear of what he might do/become, so he hid his head in the sand by living in a dream world (as he talked about in "Hunteri Heroici") with Amelia. The first time he had to live without Dean ("Mystery Spot") he turned into a dangerous killing machine. The second time, he ended up starting the apocalypse.
Remember, Sam has thought of himself as being tainted by evil ever since he was a little kid ("The Great Escapist"). What he was actually doing while not looking for Dean was desperately holding on to his determination to not let himself hurt anyone this time. That's why hitting the dog was such a big deal, and why he said "I did this" when he rushed him into the animal hospital. Hurting Riot was a crack in the mental dam Sam had built up.
It's also important to keep in mind that Sam thought Dean was dead, not missing. Granted it was an assumption without proof, but that was what Sam concluded based on what he saw. He didn't know Dean was suffering; for all he knew Dean was in heaven. That makes this instance fundamentally different from the last time Dean died, when Sam knew he was in hell and would have done anything to rescue him.
So, while Sam's "world imploded and came raining down" ("Southern Comfort"), he put his mental effort into protecting the rest of the world from becoming collateral damage. Maybe, just maybe, this is a case of character growth instead of OOC writing from tptb.
Maybe.
And now for some Wincest podfics:
A while back, I posted recs of 13 Sam/Dean first time podfics. 8 Days of Wincest seems like a fitting occasion for this, so that post is linked here. Enjoy!
Why didn't Sam look for Dean?
I've been reading a lot of Sam meta lately, and I think I finally have some decent head canon for Sam not looking for Dean while he was in purgatory.
I haven't actually read anyone say this, but I doubt I'm the first. I think Sam was motivated by fear of what he might do/become, so he hid his head in the sand by living in a dream world (as he talked about in "Hunteri Heroici") with Amelia. The first time he had to live without Dean ("Mystery Spot") he turned into a dangerous killing machine. The second time, he ended up starting the apocalypse.
Remember, Sam has thought of himself as being tainted by evil ever since he was a little kid ("The Great Escapist"). What he was actually doing while not looking for Dean was desperately holding on to his determination to not let himself hurt anyone this time. That's why hitting the dog was such a big deal, and why he said "I did this" when he rushed him into the animal hospital. Hurting Riot was a crack in the mental dam Sam had built up.
It's also important to keep in mind that Sam thought Dean was dead, not missing. Granted it was an assumption without proof, but that was what Sam concluded based on what he saw. He didn't know Dean was suffering; for all he knew Dean was in heaven. That makes this instance fundamentally different from the last time Dean died, when Sam knew he was in hell and would have done anything to rescue him.
So, while Sam's "world imploded and came raining down" ("Southern Comfort"), he put his mental effort into protecting the rest of the world from becoming collateral damage. Maybe, just maybe, this is a case of character growth instead of OOC writing from tptb.
Maybe.
And now for some Wincest podfics:
A while back, I posted recs of 13 Sam/Dean first time podfics. 8 Days of Wincest seems like a fitting occasion for this, so that post is linked here. Enjoy!