Sam calls in to "Talk Sex with Sue Johanson"
Check out the Kripke Started It: Changing Channels Free For All Meme. People request a tv show for Sam & Dean to get stuck in, and you write a short fic.
I responded to the request for "Talk Sex with Sue Johanson" (just 334 words, PG)
Suddenly they're in a tacky, none-too-clean motel room with two beds; a room divider thing that doesn't actually divide anything, made of a latticework of frog shapes; and wallpaper that the manufacturer gave away for free to save themselves the cost of disposal.
"Home sweet home," Dean says, looking around. "Not that I'm complaining, but what happened to the Trickster?"
Meanwhile, Sam's holding the room phone's handset. It starts ringing on the other end, and it's set on speaker.
"We're back with Talk Sex with Sue Johanson, and we have Sam on the line. Sam, you have a question?"
Dean's laughter starts so abruptly it turns into hiccups.
Sam's desperately hitting the various buttons on the phone, trying to get it off speaker. No luck.
"Sam?"
He rubs his temples (which does nothing to alleviate the furrow between his eyebrows) and stalls while he tries to think of something to ask.
"Um, hi Sue. First, I want to say this is my brother's favorite show, he watches it every week."
The quelling force of Dean's glare is marred by a loud hiccup.
"That's sweet! Now what's your question?"
Think, Sam says to himself. What do people ask on this show? Oh, here's one he remembers:
"I was wondering if I can get pregnant if I swallow during a blow job…"
Sam trails off, as he hears what he just said. Dean falls on his ass so hard the hiccups stop, but now he's hyperventilating.
After a pregnant pause, Sue answers, "No, the sperm are eliminated through your digestive system. There's no way they could get in your uterus, if you had one." Sam repeatedly hits his head against the hideous wallpaper, as Sue brings up the diagrams of male and female reproductive systems. "… so go ahead Sam, swallow all you want!"
Sam thinks Dean may actually be choking to death. Lucky bastard.
"That's all the time we have. Tonight's condom quickie is from Dean: Cover your third leg, if you don't want mpreg!"
I responded to the request for "Talk Sex with Sue Johanson" (just 334 words, PG)
Suddenly they're in a tacky, none-too-clean motel room with two beds; a room divider thing that doesn't actually divide anything, made of a latticework of frog shapes; and wallpaper that the manufacturer gave away for free to save themselves the cost of disposal.
"Home sweet home," Dean says, looking around. "Not that I'm complaining, but what happened to the Trickster?"
Meanwhile, Sam's holding the room phone's handset. It starts ringing on the other end, and it's set on speaker.
"We're back with Talk Sex with Sue Johanson, and we have Sam on the line. Sam, you have a question?"
Dean's laughter starts so abruptly it turns into hiccups.
Sam's desperately hitting the various buttons on the phone, trying to get it off speaker. No luck.
"Sam?"
He rubs his temples (which does nothing to alleviate the furrow between his eyebrows) and stalls while he tries to think of something to ask.
"Um, hi Sue. First, I want to say this is my brother's favorite show, he watches it every week."
The quelling force of Dean's glare is marred by a loud hiccup.
"That's sweet! Now what's your question?"
Think, Sam says to himself. What do people ask on this show? Oh, here's one he remembers:
"I was wondering if I can get pregnant if I swallow during a blow job…"
Sam trails off, as he hears what he just said. Dean falls on his ass so hard the hiccups stop, but now he's hyperventilating.
After a pregnant pause, Sue answers, "No, the sperm are eliminated through your digestive system. There's no way they could get in your uterus, if you had one." Sam repeatedly hits his head against the hideous wallpaper, as Sue brings up the diagrams of male and female reproductive systems. "… so go ahead Sam, swallow all you want!"
Sam thinks Dean may actually be choking to death. Lucky bastard.
"That's all the time we have. Tonight's condom quickie is from Dean: Cover your third leg, if you don't want mpreg!"