that there
that's not me
i'm not here
this isn't happening
in a little while, i'll be gone.
the moment's already passed, yeah it's gone.
and i'm not here.
this isn't happening.
i've had a lot of dreams about ghosts lately. ghosts are showing up everywhere. in my dreams i'm seeing a lot of dead people, some of whom are actual. i've had several
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Comments 7
Maybe the universe is trying to tell you to let go of some of those ghosts, before you drown in them.
Real people can be more painful, but they are also much more fun.
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Maybe instead of unfinished business, it's because you're more sensitive to them than others would be. Writers are often more emotional and more exception of things that others would not believe. I tend to think that openess can occasionally allow for a peek into the other side :).
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i too dream of the past a lot. or should i say, the past mixed with the present somewhere probably in the future. sometimes people are as ghosts. sometimes zombies. sometimes just as themselves.
i have... events.. and people.. in my life that i've never been able to let go of. it's been painful at times, but at the same time, it's shaped me into who i am now (my language skills, travel, at least one of my novels, joining the peace corps.. all of this can point to a single person), but those events alone do not shape me into who i am.
unfortunately, life isn't like our fiction. things don't usually have resolved endings the way we like to read or write. instead, it's an evolving process that's constantly changing. sometimes, it leads us down other paths. there are days that are much harder than others. but for whatever reason we keep going. we gain more experiences. we learn more.
and maybe, just maybe, as writers, we turn it into something beautiful in the end.
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it's mysterious to me that you have come to my aid this year, listened to me in the middle of the night, and put things in such a way that made me think differently . . . sometimes i wonder why you still respect me enough to do all this because i feel i've fallen so far from the natalie you first met.
even when i feel completely alone, i have an odd sense of back-up, like when all else fails, there is someone out there i can go to who won't turn me down or judge me for it. that's probably the most precious thing to me right now.
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