Fanfic: Rain
Title: Rain
Author: miss_angie_
Pairing: Remus Lupin/Sirius Black
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: PG13-R
Warnings: There's a shower scene and sexual innuendos concerning fruit.
Rain
Remus
I noticed Sirius the very first time I had ever laid eyes on him, which was back in first year on the platform of 9 and ¾. Honestly, how could I not? He always was a handsome boy, and now he’s a much handsome man. His unruly smile, his god given beauty, that gorgeous head of long black locks that looked almost as silk, perhaps even satin; but most of all the thing I did and always have adored of Sirius, were his eyes. Yes, those two precious eyes of startling gray… a quite similar gray that I have always associated with the color of the clouds just before a thunder storm.
Sirius himself was indeed a force of nature now that I think about it. The motto, “Do or Die,” comes to mind whenever I see that certain mischievous glint in his eyes… once in a while I shiver to see the glaze pass them over and that slow devious smile rising like that of the Cheshire Cat.
My dream started like any other. I usually dream about the Wolf hunting some prey or other and cornering it until all I see after that is blinding red… but this one was different. It was a stormy day and I was looking out at the window. I watched the drops of rain hitting the cool glass. It didn't bother me as much because I was just as content; I adored the rain. No one was in the common room with me so everything was fine. Until I looked up, there he was the sex God himself dripping wet with his shirt clinging to him. I began blushing violently while he waltzed toward me then sat on my lap.
"Sirius…what are you-,"
He pressed his finger to my lip then started to gently bite my neck. I moaned a little as he started to unzip my trousers. It felt as if this went on for ages until I could feel his mouth over my manhood. I started to gasp and moan while he began to suck and lick at me hungrily.
"Don't…stop please…" I begged, clinging onto my seat for dear life.
"This is only the beginning trust me," he said while picking me up and took me upstairs.
He ripped off my clothing and took me like a wild dog. I moaned and screamed and shouted my praises to him.
"You're so good Remus…" he thrust harder into me causing me to shout an octave. I could hear the roar of the rain crashing against the glass.
"Sirius, please don't stop! Gods don't!"
He collapsed on top of me. He was heavy and warm but I loved it. I didn't want to wake up but I did and I could tell I was wet. I opened my eyes and Sirius and James were staring at me. I wanted to die at the sight of that wild man.
"What?" I asked casually trying to play out my embarrassment.
"Oh nothing…" said James, "But Remus if you're going to have sexual fantasies, please keep it down. I could hear you moaning in the next bed,"
I reddened, Sirius only looked at me strangely.
"Who's Serene?"
"Serene?"
"The girl you were moaning about,"
He didn't hear his name…I was safe for now.
I blushed and said, "Just someone,"
“Oh alright. Blimey it had to be you to wake everyone up at four thirty in the morning,” Sirius mused and shook his head then climbed back into his own bed.
I watched him for a moment before I as well, laid on my back against the mattress then drifted off to sleep once more.
*~*
“G’morning Sirius,” I said just as I always have for the past six years of friendship.
It was a few hours later and I was preparing myself for my early morning shower.
“Morning Moony,” came Sirius’s sleepy reply.
“Honestly Padfoot, why do you insist on sleeping so late and waking up so early? You will truly dismantle your sleeping habits due to that.” I said taking my towel and resting it over my shoulder.
“Showers have hotter water this early in the morning.” Another mumble passed those luscious lips as he began to strip down to his birthday suit.
“That advice sounds awfully familiar…”
I quickly managed to avoid looking so much as below his waistline and tried to focus on his sleep deprived face.
“’ell ewe ar da on oo tol meh.” Sirius yawned then shook his head vigorously and then blinked a few times, “Sorry, I meant to say, ‘Well you are the one who told me.’”
I chuckled and dragged a hand down my face.
“Of course, how could I forget?” I joked uneasily while walking into the bathroom and started up a shower.
This was our usual routine since our fourth year; it was much easier and faster to just shower together, Sirius and me. I remember the first time he came in and explained it so calmly my cheeks burned red until lunch. I recalled the various smiles and shine in his eyes that very same day as well, while I had tossed my pajama top over the rail then removed the bottoms and folded them nicely over the rail as well. He never was one to judge, Sirius, perhaps which was one of the things I loved the most about him. Shaking my head I decided to hop into the shower before the water turned cold.
I had just finished undressing and stepped into the warmth of the shower when I felt another presence stepping in after me, I smiled softly.
“Back again eh? I may have to ask you to buy me dinner next time we do this.” I joked while rinsing the soap out of my hair and eyes.
“Yeah right,” I heard Sirius chuckle, “Now move aside I need to wash my hair pass me my shampoo will you?"
"Hm? Oh, sure Padfoot," I passed the bottle to him.
'Lather damn you…Hurry up and lather!'
Sirius started to lather up his hair, and that was when I could sneak a peek. His eyes would be full of soap and I could just look all I want but not too long or too much. I timed it over the years. And just ever the same he was always so beautiful. His skin so perfect and smooth and… untainted where as I bore monthly markings of past full moons. They never seem to go away whatever I had done to them; it was as if they taunted me and my illness.
I was feeling myself growing harder by the minute; I quickly started to think un-arousing thoughts.
'Severus…in a bikini…James fat…Wormtail…naked…ew that's the one…'
It did the trick. I was down and Sirius had the soap in his eyes.
"Oy Moony want to give me a hand with my back?" he asked suddenly, breaking me of my thoughts.
'I want to do more than that…' I thought silently.
"Sure Paddy. Come over here,"
He turns to me. He was a god I swear; sometimes his whole existence taunted me. I took the soap, lathered the loofah and started to scrub. The soap traced his skin as he moans. He liked when I scrubbed. He said it feels like a massage that makes him feeling as if all the pressure of the world was off his shoulders and melted down the drain. I only laughed at that thought, if only it were true. If only my touch wouldn’t seem so dangerous... then maybe I would have believed him.
After I was done Sirius grabs me and started scrubbing my back, I blushed still. It was apart of our routine and no matter how long we’ve done this already now it just seems so erotic and I have to urge myself to think on something else. Before I would protest on it, but it doesn't bother me as much any longer. I sort of expect it every morning; and I wish he'd just throw me down and take me like the dog he is. I gasped at the thought of Sirius’s body covering me with the heat of the running water falling over us. His fingers woke me up from my trance as he applied strong pressure into my tense muscles and he knew how to get all the spots. I could feel his length brushed against me gently, I closed my eyes. I wanted to die.
'God…stop tempting me…why doesn't he…just once…'
"Okay Moony done,"
"Thank you," I said and we both turned the water off and got ready to go.
Breakfast that morning was just as tempting as the shower. I was in one of those certain moods when I didn’t want anything heavy sitting in my stomach in class so had decided that I would make myself a bowl of fruit. Which consisted of: bits of cantaloupe, watermelon, honeydew, peaches, strawberries and my favorite: blackberries.
Picking up my fork I began poking at certain bits of fruit then brought it up to my mouth, taking in the sweetness of the fruit I savored my breakfast down my throat while looking from the entrance of the Great Hall then back to my bowl of fruit. I was wondering what was taking James and Peter so long? Maybe James had gotten sidetracked again by Lily and Peter decided to stick around and watch the humiliation of his fellow Marauder. That was when Sirius cleared his throat. Looking up I noticed the small hint of pink on his cheeks then he ran his fingers through his hair nervously.
“Is something wrong?” I asked before eating another forkful of fruit.
“No.” He snapped, then recoiled, “Er I mean yeah, well actually it’s nothing but I-“ he stuttered, which was something not likely of him.
“But…” I asked trailing off and staring at him, he kept avoiding my gaze.
Finally looking up, Sirius seemed a bit annoyed; bother most likely, “I can’t see how you can be bothered with just eating something sweet all the time!”
Smiling fondly at him I answered simply, “I happen to like sweet things,” I picked up a blackberry and popped it into my mouth, “especially blackberries, they are my favorite.”
“I’d expect you to be a carnivore,” he said smirking at me.
“Why?” I asked, seeing as how he continued smirking at me still.
“Because of your furry little problem,” he said smirking, “Although I think I’ve found your Achilles’ heel. Anything sweeter than chocolate is your weakness,”
“I don’t like white chocolate and people say it’s sweet,”
I cringed. Nothing was worst than white chocolate, well then there was vanilla. How can people like vanilla? It’s so plain! I thought to myself then continued eating my blackberries.
“You know Moony some say the darker the berry the sweeter and more forbidden the nectar is,”
I almost choked and he was just smiling at me. I wonder if he meant berries in general but knowing his perverted mind he was leaning toward something else. I hated when he played games like this with me though I have to say, he was very good at it, the bastard. Shaking my annoyance away, I had noticed how his eyes were watching me eat my breakfast or more, how he was staring intently at my mouth.
“You like Blackberries?”
“Yes, they taste good in malts… with some strawberry ice cream.”
Either I was seeing things or Sirius was grinning a bit wider now his eyes glazing the way I knew meant trouble. But just as soon as the look came it left as well. It was then I understood…black berries...damn him and his pun. I know he probably doesn’t mean it; it was just another one of his games to make me blush and tell him off.
“Let’s just see what’s so great about them,” he broke the small silence while taking three berries from the large golden bowl and popped one into his mouth. He wore a figurative expression as to whether debating if he should love it or hate it. At last he swallowed then smacks his lips a bit.
“Hm, not bad,” he concluded, “not bad at all, kinda tart though but in a sweet way. Once again you have impressed me with your latest discovery Professor Moony!”
I snorted and rolled my eyes, “Shush you and eat before your food gets cold.”
He only smiled amusingly at me, picked up his fork and started picking at his plate. I on the other hand, continued eating. There was a small silence between us once again before he lifted his head and looked at me, perhaps it was then that he was picking up that I had figured out the pun.
“You know you want my berries Moony,”
“God, Sirius!” I said slapping a hand over half my face and chuckled, “Can you be anymore predictable?”
“Hey I thought you said you liked blackberries?” he smirked and took up his goblet of pumpkin juice to his lips.
“Of course I do, I just meant that-“
“What’s this about liking Black’s berries?” James asked entering the conversation, Peter was not that far behind him.
Sirius coughed on his pumpkin juice while I now have a piece of fruit lodged into the inside of my neck for the rest of my life.
*~*
"Check," said James smirking smugly at me.
“Hmmm,” I looked at the board carefully, and then smiled as I took his Queen just as easily as I took both his knights.
Peter squealed at my move.
"Gah! Moony I'll get you for that!"
It was later that very same day, classes had just finished and we had the weekend to look forward to. Though at this moment in time, James and I were engaged in a game of Wizard’s chess and it was only obvious who was losing too.
"You left your queen unattended Jameo!" I said and smiled again.
One could only imagine what Sirius was thinking. I felt him staring at me since the middle of my game with James; perhaps it was all in my head. How could Sirius be looking at me? He was probably thinking how boring chess was in the first place, or he was thinking about his latest prank on Severus… maybe he was thinking about that girl from Hufflepuff with the big knockers. Sirius was totally straight without a doubt…
"Hurry James and move your fat arse!" I said suddenly after so long a wait.
"He's not a fat arse!" argued Peter.
"James is a fat arse?" Sirius asked in amusement while smirking at James.
"Sirius you ponce! You made me forget where I was going to move!"
"Don't blame your blindness on Sirius," I said with a smirk, "Now move fat arse. The king is rumored in chess to be fat that's why he moves one space at a time. And since you refer yourself as the king of Quidditch then you must be a fat arse. Now move,"
James grumbled and moved. I smiled simply and moved my piece.
"Checkmate,"
"Damn it!"
"Pay up,"
"Pay?" Sirius asked after so long a silence.
Looking up at his direction I locked my eyes with his and gave him a small nod, "Yeah I told him I'd beat him in ten minutes tops,"
Sirius laughed. It was that amused barking one I loved hearing him do. I simply chuckled while James gave me the coins he so well owed me.
The sound of thunder had stopped our laughing; I had gotten up and walked over to the window right before I heard the loud sound of the rain pounding against the glass.
“Crap I hate the rain,” said James suddenly, sounding a bit less enthusiastic.
“I think it’s beautiful…” I answered while gazing outside the window.
Stepping back to examine said window, I noticed that it wasn’t possible to open them. I suddenly wanted to be outside. I wanted to embrace the rain; I wanted to feel it’s marking on my skin.
“Remus what’s wrong?” James asked behind me.
I turned to look at him as well as Peter and Sirius then I composed myself once again. Giving a small smile I shook my head and gave a nonchalant wave of the hand.
“Nothing, I was just um, I just need to um… I’ll just be right back.” I said falling over both my desire and my self-control.
Practically bolting out of the common room I ran down the long hallway, large stone stairs, dashed around the corner and outside the side entrance of the castle. Oh and the first hit of the rain on my face was nirvana. Running further and further on the grounds I passed by various students who squealed and squirmed under the wetness of the rain. What was their problem anyway? Were they afraid to melt or something? How can they not see the magnificence around them, the purity?
The rain felt wonderful against my face and the taste was just perfect, so clean and so uniquely sweet. The fat drops of water showered me with a cleansing coldness as I stood there perfectly still. My eyes closed, my breathing calm and relaxed, I stood there until I felt soaked to the skin. It was bliss, pure endless bliss…
“Remus! Just what the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Startled by the obscenity of the noise, my eyes snapped open and looked toward the source of the sound. Sirius stood there watching me under a large black umbrella. His eyes filled with confusion, and perhaps a hint of concern? We held each other’s gazes for a few moments, though it seemed like an eternity. I could see him studying me, how the gray of his eyes seemed so familiar to the gray of the sky…that thought made me smile.
“What the fuck are you smiling for you daft cow? Bloody hell here.” He walked over to me and now I was under the protection of the umbrella. Our faces were so close and I could feel the aching heat of him through his own clothing. Sirius then took up a robe he had draped over his shoulder then put on me.
“Shit your clothes are soaked through. I have to get you inside before you catch pneumonia or something. For fuck’s sake aren’t you cold!?” he ranted at me, but it made me smiled even more. It only proved how much he cared and that alone gave me the confidence to tell him.
“Not when I’m around you Pads,” I murmured as I ran my hand through my wet hair and slicked it back easily, “or when I am around things that remind me of you.”
Sirius stopped. All anger seemed to have washed away from his face after I had said this. I was tired of waiting for him to realize how I felt. I was tired of living in fear of losing him because I realized, I would and could never lose him. We have been through so much these last few years to ever worry about or even consider something like that.
“The rain was the closest that I could ever get to you,” I smiled uneasily now.
Sirius didn’t say anything though now his eyes seem hidden from the dark locks of his bangs and his lips were tense and firm. Not a frown so to say but it made me uneasy and I lowered my eyes to the wet ground beneath us. Silence surrounded us for only a moment.
“Why the rain?” Sirius asked suddenly, “The rain is depressing and cold.”
My eyes shot upward and I was met with his own; he stared down sadly at me. They were just as gray, just as beautiful though now they were full of urgent curiosity.
“Oh no Sirius,” I shook my head then smiled gently, “The rain is just as beautiful as you are. Not cold, or depressing. It’s just wonderful just…” I lost all thoughts while noticing ho close we seemed to have been.
“Just…?” Sirius asked leaning in closer.
“Just…” I whispered, my eyes closed suddenly and the warmth of his lips touched my very own.
And he was wonderful…had I never spoken the truth I would have never known the passion radiating from those precious lips of his. I love him.
______________________________________________________________________________________
Sirius
I’ve noticed Remus since the first time I’ve met him back in first year. Honestly, how could I not? He was always shorter than me, though he was lankier and pale and I’ve always seem thicker and darker than him I suppose. But the one thing I’ve always admired about Remus was his gentle nature, his quiet strength and most of all his great heart. Yet, as the years rolled on by I never knew before the sudden change my Moony had gone through. From a small, lanky and frail looking boy, to a much taller, much fuller, much muscular, and utterly handsome man.
I know I shouldn’t stare but now days I just can’t seem to help myself! I catch myself staring, daydreaming, and fantasizing about my friend. This is insane! It’s an insane obsession, wouldn’t you agree? Just imagine wanting anything and everything with one of your best friends… and of the same sex mind you! Oh this hurts, it surely does… In fact, at the moment in time I had just woken up from one of my recurring dreams and just the same, I feel the overbearing guilt I have been feeling for the past week.
I dream of his lips, his hands, his hair, and his eyes… those mesmerizing, hypnotizing and incredibly boundless eyes of golden honey. No, no, no, nooooooooo…this has to stop! Hm? What was that? Was that mumbling?
Pulling the covers off me, I crawled over to the foot of my four-poster and opened my bed curtains. It was still rather dark outside so it was quite hard to see in the dark. My eyes came to a focus and I could see over by Remus’s bed, the endless tossing and turning. He’s having one of those nightmares again; he usually gets them around this time, a week before the full moon. The dreams are as though it was some countdown of a sort, and they get worst by the day. Just last month Remus woke up with deep scratches on his arms and legs and that was with only three days left. I can’t understand how my Moony can handle this every month for the rest of his life and he still manages to smile.
Shaking my head I climbed out of bed then as my feet touched the cold stone floor I gritted my teeth but bared with it. Padding over to Remus’s bed on my tip toes I leaned over to poke him when I realized that he wasn’t having a nightmare at all, but just a regular dream. His face seemed so relaxed and… wait… was that… no way… was he smiling? I could see his lips gently moving in sleep, he was mumbling something, I best not wake him. I know what it’s like to be woken up from such a fabulous dream… and damn him to hell whoever woke me up. Remus grumbled a little then turned over on his back, a light snore emanated from his bed. I knew it! James owes me fifty galleons tomorrow! All thoughts after seem to have evaporated from my mind once I watch him sleeping.
It just couldn’t be helped; I was already up willing to check on my lycanthrope friend and when help wasn’t needed what I should have done was go back to bed and return to sleep… but something kept me there, something that I couldn’t explain. What an incredible sight it was though. Remus was in such a carefree position, sleeping flat on his stomach that way. From what I recall during the morning after the full moon Remus usually sleeps this way when he is exceptionally tired. I managed to see the light rise and fall of his breathing, the way the smooth contours of his back muscles were rippled by the light and dark shadows of the room. Remus was gorgeous.
"Serene… don't stop…” I heard him whimper a little louder, whilst he laid flat on his back.
Did I hear right? Was Moony having a sex dream? Heh, I guess the high and almighty prefect isn’t such a prude after all. I wonder if I should wake-
“Sirius?” croaked James’s tired voice from behind me.
“What?” I jumped and looked into his sleepy eyes.
“Bloody hell, is Moony having a nightmare again?”
“Er not exactly…”
“Huh?”
“Listen,” I whispered and pointed down at a writhing Remus.
He gave a few small moans then began to lay stiff against his mattress, fisting his sheets while his knuckles began to grip white from abuse. Giving out a few short puffs of breath Remus relaxed in a boneless heap, panting softly his head gently moved from side to side before his eyes slowly opened. God! Just watching Moony come like that in his sleep was amazing…
Remus blinked a couple of times before sitting up and shielding himself with his pretty much drenched sheets.
"What?" he asked trying to play off his actions.
"Oh nothing…" said James looking concerned, "But Remus if you're going to have sexual fantasies, please keep it down. I could hear you moaning in the next bed,"
Remus reddened, why on earth… oh he wasn’t embarrassed of having a wet dream now is he? Oh for fuck’s sake!
"Who's Serene?" I decided to ask.
"Serene?" Remus looked confused
"The girl you were moaning about,"
He was acting rather fidgety I wonder why.
"Just someone," he said quickly then avoided my look on him.
“Oh alright,” I said easily, if he didn’t want to talk about it hell I wasn’t going to force him, ”Blimey it had to be you to wake everyone up at four thirty in the morning,” I said with a small shake of my head and climbed into my own bed.
Gods only knew what dream was dreaming about, let alone who. This was going to bother me all day; I have to find out who this “Serene” girl is and how she manages to make Remus howl like that.
*~*
“G’morning Sirius,” Remus smiled at me just as he always did.
“Mornin’ Moony,” came my sleepy reply.
“Honestly Padfoot, why do you insist on sleeping so late and waking up so early? You will truly dismantle your sleeping habits due to that.” He scolded me. I hate it when he does that he sounds like such a mother hen…
“Showers have hotter water this early in the morning.” I answered simply while I began to remove my pajama bottoms in front of him.
“That advice sounds awfully familiar…” Remus said in such an off handed way.
Looking up I saw the sudden blush rise in his cheeks just as he turned away, what was with him anyway? I then let out a yawn followed by a scratch on my lower backside.
“’ell ewe ar da on oo tol meh.” I yawned then shook my head a bit, “Sorry, I meant to say, ‘Well you are the one who told me.’”
Remus chuckled and dragged a hand down his face. I always thought he looked rather cute doing that it only showed how patient he was with the likes of me.
“Of course, how could I forget?” he joked then walked into the bathroom and started up a shower.
I followed soon after until I was met with a bare arse right before me. Remus sure knew how to undress quickly, I do give him that. He seemed not to notice me while he folded up his pajamas neatly then left them on the rail where the towels should be. He then pulled the shower curtain aside and stepped in. Shit. Just that sight alone got me hard thinking over the possibilities. Walking over to the nearest toilet I took my morning piss thinking of un-erotic fantasies to scare my boner away. The usual Snape wearing women’s knickers and blowing kissy faces at me did it all the time.
Stepping into the same stall as Remus I heard him chuckle gently, his usual Moony chuckle… it always made me smile.
“Back again eh? I may have to ask you to buy me dinner next time we do this.” he joked while rinsing the soap out of his hair and eyes.
“Yeah right,” I answered back amusingly, “Now move aside I need to wash my hair. Pass me my shampoo will you?"
"Hm? Oh, sure Padfoot," he said and passed the green bottle to me.
Pouring the dark green liquid into my hands and started to lather up my hair, the shower already as hot as it was began to smell like the manly soap I used every morning. Boy I smelled good! Wonder if Moony would notice… maybe he wouldn’t, maybe I hope for too much to begin with. Massaging my scalp with the soap I began thinking about how it would feel if Remus washed my hair, after all I have caught him a few times now and again staring at my hair. Rinsing the soap of my eyes and hair I turned around and faced my backside to Remus.
"Oy Moony want to give me a hand with my back?" I asked while ridding of the trapped soap in my ears.
'Though I want you to do more than that…' I added silently.
"Sure Paddy. Come over here," he murmured.
The moment I felt his fingers on my back I moaned. I always did tell Moony he had the best massaging fingers in the world, he never really believed me, don’t why it’s the truth! They way those friendly fingers move to relieve that pain and the tension in my muscles... I told him once a while back that it feels like his massages leave me a sense of peace. It was as if all the pressure of the world was removed from my shoulders and had melted down the drain.
After I felt he was finished, I turned him around and started scrubbing his back. I wanted him to feel how I felt, make him wild how he drove me wild. Looking at his skin alone began to feed my mind with all sorts of fantastic lustful thoughts. How Remus would sound under me. Begging me to do more of something I am most willing to do to him; or to see the expression of pure pleasure on his face when I can give him all my love. I then felt the hot skin of his arse where my cock bumped against him. I closed my eyes and held my breath… my God, I wanted to die.
'God…stop tempting me…why doesn't he…just once…'
"Okay Moony done," I managed to say.
"Thank you," he said and we both turned the water and got ready to go.
*~*
Breakfast that morning was just as tempting as the shower; Moony always knew how to get my goat… it’s like he knows, the bastard. Take his breakfast for instance: a bowl of healthy fresh chopped fruit. Oh sure on certain days he gets into his awkward pre-lunar eating habits and “wolfs” down a full plate of pancakes, waffles, scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns and like three slices of toast with jam. Bloody hell those days I honestly wonder where he puts it all! But other days he gets so picky and if he ate anything heavy such as anything meat related he’s running to the loo in the middle of class with his hand over his mouth. That’s just sick.
I watched him pick up his fork and began poking at certain bits of fruit then took it up to his mouth, taking in the sweetness of the fruit down his throat while watching the entrance of the Great Hall then back to the bowl of fruit. My guess would be that he was looking out for James and Peter but I couldn’t help but stare at the way his mouth moved. The way he would lick his lips as if licking up of what remained of the fruit… damn it all I bloody wished I was that fruit… I wonder how that mouth of his would feel if he decided to eat m - I shouldn’t even be thinking that, what Remus would say if he knew. Clearing my throat he looked up at me in full attention and smiles a little. My face felt burning hot then I ran my fingers through my hair nervously.
“Is something wrong?” Remus asked innocently before eating another forkful of fruit.
“No.” I snapped, God why did I do that? “Er I mean yeah, well actually it’s nothing but I-“ what the hell was wrong with me? I never stuttered for anyone in my life!
“But…?” Remus asked curiously though this time he avoided my look on him.
Oh boy, did he know how to push a bloke’s buttons alright.
Remus at last looked up at me, I don’t know what face I made at him but from the expression he gave me, I must have looked real peeved, “I can’t see how you can be bothered with just eating something sweet all the time!”
He smiled sweetly at me then to which he answered simply, “I happen to like sweet things,” he picked up a blackberry to prove his point then popped it into his mouth, “especially blackberries, they are my favorite.”
“I’d expect you to be a carnivore,” I said smirking at him.
“Why?” he asked looking rather cautious.
“Because of your furry little problem,” I said pompously between us, “Although I think I’ve found your Achilles’ heel. Anything sweeter than chocolate is your weakness,”
“I don’t like white chocolate and people say it’s sweet,”
I made a face, he was right white chocolate was rather odd… then again it was probably made by the same people who rather much fancy vanilla.
“You know Moony some say the darker the berry the sweeter and more forbidden the nectar is,”
I almost choked and he was just smiling at me. I wonder if he meant berries in general but know his perverted mind he was leaning toward something else. I hated when he played games like this with me though I have to say, he was very good at it, the bastard. Shaking my annoyance away, I had noticed how his eyes were watching me eat my breakfast or more, how he was staring intently at my mouth.
“You like Blackberries?”
“Yes, they taste good in malts… with some strawberry ice cream.”
I normally enjoy our talks, Moony and I. Most of the time we share so many things between each other that I feel all the more closer to him than James or Peter could ever get. Now for some reason Remus was glaring at me, I wonder what his deal was. Sometimes I swear this bloke’s got a split personality.*
“Let’s just see what’s so great about them,” I said suddenly changing the subject.
I took three berries from the large golden bowl and popped one into my mouth. It was quite delicious if I must say though a bit tangy for my taste. I had wondered how they would taste with strawberry ice cream just how Remus liked it. It must be pretty good I’d had to try some one of these days. After I had swallowed the fruit I licked my lips; it had a great after taste.
“Hm, not bad,” I concluded, “not bad at all, kinda tart though but in a sweet way. Once again you have impressed me with your latest discovery Professor Moony!”
Remus snorted and rolled his golden eyes, “Shush you and eat before your food gets cold.”
Always was the mother hen. I mused to myself and picked up my fork while I began picking at my plate. There was a small silence between us once again; I hate that. There could be so many important things need saying other than this stubborn “silence”. And I just had the idea to break the ice. Oh sure it wasn’t Shakespeare or anything but I was willing to give it a shot.
Looking up at him I smiled and opened my mouth, “You know you want my berries Moony,”
I wonder if I’d make him crack. If I did, then mission accomplished… for now.
“God, Sirius!” he said slapping a hand over half his face and chuckled, “Can you be anymore predictable?”
It only made me smile whenever I made him laugh; his face seems to be so full of life when I do. That’s why I made it my personal mission to always make my Moony laugh.
“Hey I thought you said you liked blackberries?” I smirked and took up my goblet of pumpkin juice to my lips.
“Of course I do, I just meant that-“
“What’s this about liking Black’s berries?” James asked entering the conversation, Peter was not that far behind him.
I nearly drowned into my goblet of pumpkin juice that day.
*~*
I watched with the most curiousness of chess. Remus was an expert in the game compared to James but he was still good. I didn't want to stay there and watch the game, I was bored enough already. But something just kept me there, planted in my seat.
"Check," said James smirking at Remus who just smiled. Remus was one of my closest mates so far with James. Remus was the logical one that knew what to say to the professors to avoid us getting detention or scolded. Something must have happened because then I heard Peter squeal like a horny girl.
"Gah! Moony I'll get you for that!"
"You left your queen unattended Jameo!" he said and smiles again.
I loved the way he smiled. His eyes always brightened and glistened in the candlelight. I loved the way the light shone off his porcelain skin and his eyes were the same color of the embers in the fire. I swear sometimes that he makes me wish he was a woman…he'd make a sexy woman…
"Hurry James and move your fat arse!"
"He's not a fat arse!"
"James is a fat arse?" I asked, smirking at James.
"Sirius you ponce! You made me forget where I was going to move!"
"Don't blame your blindness on Sirius," said Remus smirking, "Now move fat arse. The king is rumored in chess to be fat that's why he moves one space at a time. And since you refer yourself as the king of Quidditch then you must be a fat arse. Now move,"
James grumbled and moved. Remus smiles and moves his piece.
"Checkmate,"
"Damn it!"
"Pay up,"
"Pay?" I asked in confusion.
Remus looked up at me with those eyes… those eyes that always looked so sad but at the same time they didn’t.
"Yeah I told him I'd beat him in ten minutes tops,"
I laughed. Remus was a smart bastard but…he was my smart bastard.
The sound of thunder had stopped our laughing; we had then become quiet and reserved. Hearing the sound of a chair easing back, I watched Remus walk over to the window right before I heard the loud sound of the rain pounding against the glass.
“Crap I hate the rain,” said James suddenly, sounding a bit less enthusiastic.
“I think it’s beautiful…” Remus answered while gazing outside the window.
We watched him closely; it was odd seeing Remus react to such a thing as rain. I had my reasons for hating the rain much like James. It was something that I could never enjoy again. For the night I left my parents it was also raining and the memory of what they shouted and curse at me will always be fresh in my mind until the day I die.
“YOU FOUL CREATURE! YOU SHAME YOUR FAMILY!” my mother had shouted, accusing me for not following their traditions, “YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO THE NAME OF BLACK!”
She had slapped me across the face. I could feel the stinging pain beating along side the pulse of the rain hitting the windows. How the thunder rumbled against my ears.
She grew all the more hysterical, and if it wasn’t for my brother stopping her… she could have torn me to pieces. Regulus had escorted her out of the room, but not before sending me a look of such betrayal… as if telling me, “How dare you leave me here with them? With her?”
I had turned to leave, all the more stunned as I headed for the front door. My trunk was hovering at my left side, my wand was clutched tightly in my right.
Father had never looked so old to me before, “The moment you walk out that door Sirius, you will no longer be my son,” that was all he had to say over my leaving.
Those cold eyes similar like my own seem to have stared down at me. His words had cut me deep, I had always admired my father and when I was younger I had so much wanted to be like him. He was brilliant, wise, and prosperous, everything I wanted in a hero, and he was. To this day I had never looked back; I never had wanted to feel the rain again.
“Remus what’s wrong?” James asked suddenly and broke me out of my train of thought.
Remus turned to look at us all then noticed how he composed himself once again. Giving us that usual small smile whenever he thought he could throw us off guard with it; as though silently telling us that it isn’t our business to know. Why the hell is he always like that?
He shook his head at us and gave a nonchalant wave, “Nothing, I was just um; I just need to um… I’ll just be right back.”
Then just like that James, Peter and I watched him bolting out of the common room. It took a moment for us to snap out of it until James turned and looked at me,
“Something’s going on with him. Has he told you anything?”
“No, not at all but I have noticed him acting weirdly.” Standing, I reached for his robe he left on the chair then headed for the portrait hole.
“Oi Sirius,” James called behind me.
“What?” I asked turning around when I was met with umbrella being tossed at my face.
Grabbing it I glared at James, “You could have at least warn me you great git.”
James only smiled at me, “Yeah I know but go get him back before he does something stupid. I can’t believe it though.”
“What can’t you believe?” Peter chimed into the conversation.
“He always gets like this on rainy days. He acts all nutters like a caged animal wanting to get outside.”
“You’re right now that I think about it.” Peter contributed and looked a bit quizzical.
“Alright I’ll be right back then.” Turning and leaving I walked out of the portrait hole and headed outside.
I took out the umbrella and opened it; Remus’s tattered old robe was resting over my shoulder. Why would he get so frazzled over the rain for? And even through the thickness of the moisture in the air I could smell him, and he smelled wonderful. Maybe being a dog animagus wasn’t such a bad idea after all, it did after all come with it’s certain perks and abilities. I soon stopped short while only being three feet away from him, and once again for what felt like the ten billionth time, I stared at him.
His hair was flattened on his head by the shower of the rain. It was a dark brown now and not the usual tawny color that remarkably matched his eyes. The color I seem to always associate with Remus… like honey or something, maybe even topaz. Not that it matters now of course… But anyway, what was the idiot doing standing out here in the rain like this? Didn’t he know or at least care that he could, and no doubt would catch a cold?
I watched him. As dazed and as confused as I was, I watched him under the protection of my umbrella. Finally I shook my head out of the trance, anger rising in my chest as I opened my mouth and shouted,
“Remus! Just what the hell do you think you’re doing?”
This was stupid, so stupid.
I caught him by surprise I know it, Remus never jerked that way before; he was always aware of who or what approached him. Werewolf senses my arse; I always knew it was an excuse. His eyes opened and he stared at me from where he stood. They seemed to widen as our gazes focused on one another in that brief moment of silence, with the exception of the rain that is. Then the dumb bastard had the nerve to smile at me. This is one of the most stupid things Remus as ever done; does he have a death wish or something? I don’t know, and if he does I’ll beat him bloody next full moon for even thinking that.
“What the fuck are you smiling for, you daft cow? Bloody hell here,” I glared and stalked right over to him and gave him the sanctuary of my umbrella.
Our faces were so close at that moment, but I didn’t care. He felt as cold as ice in front of me. I could see the small tremble of his lower lip and chin quivering when I took up his robe and draped over his shoulders. That was when I realized his clothes were soaked right through. Idiot! I had to get him inside.
“Shit your clothes are soaked through. I have to get you inside before you catch pneumonia or something. For fuck’s sake aren’t you cold!?” I continued to banter him with obvious questions, but it made him smiled even more. Did he find this situation funny? Then again, Moony always did have a twisted sense of humor. James and Peter have agreed with me on this.
“Not when I’m around you Pads,” he said softly and ran his hand through his wet hair, slicking it back easily, “or when I am around things that remind me of you.”
I stopped dead in my tracks. All the anger I felt previously seemed to have flushed itself down the drain. What was he saying? What did he mean? For once I was left speechless and decided to give Remus the benefit of the doubt to explain himself. I wanted to know everything.
“The rain was the closest that I could ever get to you,” he smiled uneasily now and I saw the small hint of pink on his cheeks.
What is this? Was this some dream that I’m bound to wake up from? I didn’t say anything how could I after he said something like that?
“Why the rain?” I asked softly. Suddenly my voice didn’t seem to sound the same, “The rain is depressing and cold.”
His eyes shot upward and I was met with his own; he stared upward, pleading at me as if through his eyes he was trying to make me understand. Please help me understand Remus, just what are you trying to tell me? I want to know… I’m tired of hiding from you.
“Oh no Sirius,” he shook his head then smiled gently, “The rain is just as beautiful as you are. Not cold, or depressing. It’s just wonderful just…”
I lost all thoughts while noticing how close we seemed to have been.
“Just…?” I asked leaning in closer.
“Just…” Remus whispered, his eyes closed suddenly and his lips touched mine.
‘So,’ said a voice inside my mind as our embrace began to grow, ‘You have once again stepped out into the rain after all.’
‘Because it’s different,' I answered silently, “The rain doesn’t hurt anymore.”
What I felt the moment his lips touched mine, my soul began to burn. Our kiss was nothing like I ever imagined… it was a million times better. I love him.
Author: miss_angie_
Pairing: Remus Lupin/Sirius Black
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: PG13-R
Warnings: There's a shower scene and sexual innuendos concerning fruit.
Rain
Remus
I noticed Sirius the very first time I had ever laid eyes on him, which was back in first year on the platform of 9 and ¾. Honestly, how could I not? He always was a handsome boy, and now he’s a much handsome man. His unruly smile, his god given beauty, that gorgeous head of long black locks that looked almost as silk, perhaps even satin; but most of all the thing I did and always have adored of Sirius, were his eyes. Yes, those two precious eyes of startling gray… a quite similar gray that I have always associated with the color of the clouds just before a thunder storm.
Sirius himself was indeed a force of nature now that I think about it. The motto, “Do or Die,” comes to mind whenever I see that certain mischievous glint in his eyes… once in a while I shiver to see the glaze pass them over and that slow devious smile rising like that of the Cheshire Cat.
My dream started like any other. I usually dream about the Wolf hunting some prey or other and cornering it until all I see after that is blinding red… but this one was different. It was a stormy day and I was looking out at the window. I watched the drops of rain hitting the cool glass. It didn't bother me as much because I was just as content; I adored the rain. No one was in the common room with me so everything was fine. Until I looked up, there he was the sex God himself dripping wet with his shirt clinging to him. I began blushing violently while he waltzed toward me then sat on my lap.
"Sirius…what are you-,"
He pressed his finger to my lip then started to gently bite my neck. I moaned a little as he started to unzip my trousers. It felt as if this went on for ages until I could feel his mouth over my manhood. I started to gasp and moan while he began to suck and lick at me hungrily.
"Don't…stop please…" I begged, clinging onto my seat for dear life.
"This is only the beginning trust me," he said while picking me up and took me upstairs.
He ripped off my clothing and took me like a wild dog. I moaned and screamed and shouted my praises to him.
"You're so good Remus…" he thrust harder into me causing me to shout an octave. I could hear the roar of the rain crashing against the glass.
"Sirius, please don't stop! Gods don't!"
He collapsed on top of me. He was heavy and warm but I loved it. I didn't want to wake up but I did and I could tell I was wet. I opened my eyes and Sirius and James were staring at me. I wanted to die at the sight of that wild man.
"What?" I asked casually trying to play out my embarrassment.
"Oh nothing…" said James, "But Remus if you're going to have sexual fantasies, please keep it down. I could hear you moaning in the next bed,"
I reddened, Sirius only looked at me strangely.
"Who's Serene?"
"Serene?"
"The girl you were moaning about,"
He didn't hear his name…I was safe for now.
I blushed and said, "Just someone,"
“Oh alright. Blimey it had to be you to wake everyone up at four thirty in the morning,” Sirius mused and shook his head then climbed back into his own bed.
I watched him for a moment before I as well, laid on my back against the mattress then drifted off to sleep once more.
*~*
“G’morning Sirius,” I said just as I always have for the past six years of friendship.
It was a few hours later and I was preparing myself for my early morning shower.
“Morning Moony,” came Sirius’s sleepy reply.
“Honestly Padfoot, why do you insist on sleeping so late and waking up so early? You will truly dismantle your sleeping habits due to that.” I said taking my towel and resting it over my shoulder.
“Showers have hotter water this early in the morning.” Another mumble passed those luscious lips as he began to strip down to his birthday suit.
“That advice sounds awfully familiar…”
I quickly managed to avoid looking so much as below his waistline and tried to focus on his sleep deprived face.
“’ell ewe ar da on oo tol meh.” Sirius yawned then shook his head vigorously and then blinked a few times, “Sorry, I meant to say, ‘Well you are the one who told me.’”
I chuckled and dragged a hand down my face.
“Of course, how could I forget?” I joked uneasily while walking into the bathroom and started up a shower.
This was our usual routine since our fourth year; it was much easier and faster to just shower together, Sirius and me. I remember the first time he came in and explained it so calmly my cheeks burned red until lunch. I recalled the various smiles and shine in his eyes that very same day as well, while I had tossed my pajama top over the rail then removed the bottoms and folded them nicely over the rail as well. He never was one to judge, Sirius, perhaps which was one of the things I loved the most about him. Shaking my head I decided to hop into the shower before the water turned cold.
I had just finished undressing and stepped into the warmth of the shower when I felt another presence stepping in after me, I smiled softly.
“Back again eh? I may have to ask you to buy me dinner next time we do this.” I joked while rinsing the soap out of my hair and eyes.
“Yeah right,” I heard Sirius chuckle, “Now move aside I need to wash my hair pass me my shampoo will you?"
"Hm? Oh, sure Padfoot," I passed the bottle to him.
'Lather damn you…Hurry up and lather!'
Sirius started to lather up his hair, and that was when I could sneak a peek. His eyes would be full of soap and I could just look all I want but not too long or too much. I timed it over the years. And just ever the same he was always so beautiful. His skin so perfect and smooth and… untainted where as I bore monthly markings of past full moons. They never seem to go away whatever I had done to them; it was as if they taunted me and my illness.
I was feeling myself growing harder by the minute; I quickly started to think un-arousing thoughts.
'Severus…in a bikini…James fat…Wormtail…naked…ew that's the one…'
It did the trick. I was down and Sirius had the soap in his eyes.
"Oy Moony want to give me a hand with my back?" he asked suddenly, breaking me of my thoughts.
'I want to do more than that…' I thought silently.
"Sure Paddy. Come over here,"
He turns to me. He was a god I swear; sometimes his whole existence taunted me. I took the soap, lathered the loofah and started to scrub. The soap traced his skin as he moans. He liked when I scrubbed. He said it feels like a massage that makes him feeling as if all the pressure of the world was off his shoulders and melted down the drain. I only laughed at that thought, if only it were true. If only my touch wouldn’t seem so dangerous... then maybe I would have believed him.
After I was done Sirius grabs me and started scrubbing my back, I blushed still. It was apart of our routine and no matter how long we’ve done this already now it just seems so erotic and I have to urge myself to think on something else. Before I would protest on it, but it doesn't bother me as much any longer. I sort of expect it every morning; and I wish he'd just throw me down and take me like the dog he is. I gasped at the thought of Sirius’s body covering me with the heat of the running water falling over us. His fingers woke me up from my trance as he applied strong pressure into my tense muscles and he knew how to get all the spots. I could feel his length brushed against me gently, I closed my eyes. I wanted to die.
'God…stop tempting me…why doesn't he…just once…'
"Okay Moony done,"
"Thank you," I said and we both turned the water off and got ready to go.
Breakfast that morning was just as tempting as the shower. I was in one of those certain moods when I didn’t want anything heavy sitting in my stomach in class so had decided that I would make myself a bowl of fruit. Which consisted of: bits of cantaloupe, watermelon, honeydew, peaches, strawberries and my favorite: blackberries.
Picking up my fork I began poking at certain bits of fruit then brought it up to my mouth, taking in the sweetness of the fruit I savored my breakfast down my throat while looking from the entrance of the Great Hall then back to my bowl of fruit. I was wondering what was taking James and Peter so long? Maybe James had gotten sidetracked again by Lily and Peter decided to stick around and watch the humiliation of his fellow Marauder. That was when Sirius cleared his throat. Looking up I noticed the small hint of pink on his cheeks then he ran his fingers through his hair nervously.
“Is something wrong?” I asked before eating another forkful of fruit.
“No.” He snapped, then recoiled, “Er I mean yeah, well actually it’s nothing but I-“ he stuttered, which was something not likely of him.
“But…” I asked trailing off and staring at him, he kept avoiding my gaze.
Finally looking up, Sirius seemed a bit annoyed; bother most likely, “I can’t see how you can be bothered with just eating something sweet all the time!”
Smiling fondly at him I answered simply, “I happen to like sweet things,” I picked up a blackberry and popped it into my mouth, “especially blackberries, they are my favorite.”
“I’d expect you to be a carnivore,” he said smirking at me.
“Why?” I asked, seeing as how he continued smirking at me still.
“Because of your furry little problem,” he said smirking, “Although I think I’ve found your Achilles’ heel. Anything sweeter than chocolate is your weakness,”
“I don’t like white chocolate and people say it’s sweet,”
I cringed. Nothing was worst than white chocolate, well then there was vanilla. How can people like vanilla? It’s so plain! I thought to myself then continued eating my blackberries.
“You know Moony some say the darker the berry the sweeter and more forbidden the nectar is,”
I almost choked and he was just smiling at me. I wonder if he meant berries in general but knowing his perverted mind he was leaning toward something else. I hated when he played games like this with me though I have to say, he was very good at it, the bastard. Shaking my annoyance away, I had noticed how his eyes were watching me eat my breakfast or more, how he was staring intently at my mouth.
“You like Blackberries?”
“Yes, they taste good in malts… with some strawberry ice cream.”
Either I was seeing things or Sirius was grinning a bit wider now his eyes glazing the way I knew meant trouble. But just as soon as the look came it left as well. It was then I understood…black berries...damn him and his pun. I know he probably doesn’t mean it; it was just another one of his games to make me blush and tell him off.
“Let’s just see what’s so great about them,” he broke the small silence while taking three berries from the large golden bowl and popped one into his mouth. He wore a figurative expression as to whether debating if he should love it or hate it. At last he swallowed then smacks his lips a bit.
“Hm, not bad,” he concluded, “not bad at all, kinda tart though but in a sweet way. Once again you have impressed me with your latest discovery Professor Moony!”
I snorted and rolled my eyes, “Shush you and eat before your food gets cold.”
He only smiled amusingly at me, picked up his fork and started picking at his plate. I on the other hand, continued eating. There was a small silence between us once again before he lifted his head and looked at me, perhaps it was then that he was picking up that I had figured out the pun.
“You know you want my berries Moony,”
“God, Sirius!” I said slapping a hand over half my face and chuckled, “Can you be anymore predictable?”
“Hey I thought you said you liked blackberries?” he smirked and took up his goblet of pumpkin juice to his lips.
“Of course I do, I just meant that-“
“What’s this about liking Black’s berries?” James asked entering the conversation, Peter was not that far behind him.
Sirius coughed on his pumpkin juice while I now have a piece of fruit lodged into the inside of my neck for the rest of my life.
*~*
"Check," said James smirking smugly at me.
“Hmmm,” I looked at the board carefully, and then smiled as I took his Queen just as easily as I took both his knights.
Peter squealed at my move.
"Gah! Moony I'll get you for that!"
It was later that very same day, classes had just finished and we had the weekend to look forward to. Though at this moment in time, James and I were engaged in a game of Wizard’s chess and it was only obvious who was losing too.
"You left your queen unattended Jameo!" I said and smiled again.
One could only imagine what Sirius was thinking. I felt him staring at me since the middle of my game with James; perhaps it was all in my head. How could Sirius be looking at me? He was probably thinking how boring chess was in the first place, or he was thinking about his latest prank on Severus… maybe he was thinking about that girl from Hufflepuff with the big knockers. Sirius was totally straight without a doubt…
"Hurry James and move your fat arse!" I said suddenly after so long a wait.
"He's not a fat arse!" argued Peter.
"James is a fat arse?" Sirius asked in amusement while smirking at James.
"Sirius you ponce! You made me forget where I was going to move!"
"Don't blame your blindness on Sirius," I said with a smirk, "Now move fat arse. The king is rumored in chess to be fat that's why he moves one space at a time. And since you refer yourself as the king of Quidditch then you must be a fat arse. Now move,"
James grumbled and moved. I smiled simply and moved my piece.
"Checkmate,"
"Damn it!"
"Pay up,"
"Pay?" Sirius asked after so long a silence.
Looking up at his direction I locked my eyes with his and gave him a small nod, "Yeah I told him I'd beat him in ten minutes tops,"
Sirius laughed. It was that amused barking one I loved hearing him do. I simply chuckled while James gave me the coins he so well owed me.
The sound of thunder had stopped our laughing; I had gotten up and walked over to the window right before I heard the loud sound of the rain pounding against the glass.
“Crap I hate the rain,” said James suddenly, sounding a bit less enthusiastic.
“I think it’s beautiful…” I answered while gazing outside the window.
Stepping back to examine said window, I noticed that it wasn’t possible to open them. I suddenly wanted to be outside. I wanted to embrace the rain; I wanted to feel it’s marking on my skin.
“Remus what’s wrong?” James asked behind me.
I turned to look at him as well as Peter and Sirius then I composed myself once again. Giving a small smile I shook my head and gave a nonchalant wave of the hand.
“Nothing, I was just um, I just need to um… I’ll just be right back.” I said falling over both my desire and my self-control.
Practically bolting out of the common room I ran down the long hallway, large stone stairs, dashed around the corner and outside the side entrance of the castle. Oh and the first hit of the rain on my face was nirvana. Running further and further on the grounds I passed by various students who squealed and squirmed under the wetness of the rain. What was their problem anyway? Were they afraid to melt or something? How can they not see the magnificence around them, the purity?
The rain felt wonderful against my face and the taste was just perfect, so clean and so uniquely sweet. The fat drops of water showered me with a cleansing coldness as I stood there perfectly still. My eyes closed, my breathing calm and relaxed, I stood there until I felt soaked to the skin. It was bliss, pure endless bliss…
“Remus! Just what the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Startled by the obscenity of the noise, my eyes snapped open and looked toward the source of the sound. Sirius stood there watching me under a large black umbrella. His eyes filled with confusion, and perhaps a hint of concern? We held each other’s gazes for a few moments, though it seemed like an eternity. I could see him studying me, how the gray of his eyes seemed so familiar to the gray of the sky…that thought made me smile.
“What the fuck are you smiling for you daft cow? Bloody hell here.” He walked over to me and now I was under the protection of the umbrella. Our faces were so close and I could feel the aching heat of him through his own clothing. Sirius then took up a robe he had draped over his shoulder then put on me.
“Shit your clothes are soaked through. I have to get you inside before you catch pneumonia or something. For fuck’s sake aren’t you cold!?” he ranted at me, but it made me smiled even more. It only proved how much he cared and that alone gave me the confidence to tell him.
“Not when I’m around you Pads,” I murmured as I ran my hand through my wet hair and slicked it back easily, “or when I am around things that remind me of you.”
Sirius stopped. All anger seemed to have washed away from his face after I had said this. I was tired of waiting for him to realize how I felt. I was tired of living in fear of losing him because I realized, I would and could never lose him. We have been through so much these last few years to ever worry about or even consider something like that.
“The rain was the closest that I could ever get to you,” I smiled uneasily now.
Sirius didn’t say anything though now his eyes seem hidden from the dark locks of his bangs and his lips were tense and firm. Not a frown so to say but it made me uneasy and I lowered my eyes to the wet ground beneath us. Silence surrounded us for only a moment.
“Why the rain?” Sirius asked suddenly, “The rain is depressing and cold.”
My eyes shot upward and I was met with his own; he stared down sadly at me. They were just as gray, just as beautiful though now they were full of urgent curiosity.
“Oh no Sirius,” I shook my head then smiled gently, “The rain is just as beautiful as you are. Not cold, or depressing. It’s just wonderful just…” I lost all thoughts while noticing ho close we seemed to have been.
“Just…?” Sirius asked leaning in closer.
“Just…” I whispered, my eyes closed suddenly and the warmth of his lips touched my very own.
And he was wonderful…had I never spoken the truth I would have never known the passion radiating from those precious lips of his. I love him.
______________________________________________________________________________________
Sirius
I’ve noticed Remus since the first time I’ve met him back in first year. Honestly, how could I not? He was always shorter than me, though he was lankier and pale and I’ve always seem thicker and darker than him I suppose. But the one thing I’ve always admired about Remus was his gentle nature, his quiet strength and most of all his great heart. Yet, as the years rolled on by I never knew before the sudden change my Moony had gone through. From a small, lanky and frail looking boy, to a much taller, much fuller, much muscular, and utterly handsome man.
I know I shouldn’t stare but now days I just can’t seem to help myself! I catch myself staring, daydreaming, and fantasizing about my friend. This is insane! It’s an insane obsession, wouldn’t you agree? Just imagine wanting anything and everything with one of your best friends… and of the same sex mind you! Oh this hurts, it surely does… In fact, at the moment in time I had just woken up from one of my recurring dreams and just the same, I feel the overbearing guilt I have been feeling for the past week.
I dream of his lips, his hands, his hair, and his eyes… those mesmerizing, hypnotizing and incredibly boundless eyes of golden honey. No, no, no, nooooooooo…this has to stop! Hm? What was that? Was that mumbling?
Pulling the covers off me, I crawled over to the foot of my four-poster and opened my bed curtains. It was still rather dark outside so it was quite hard to see in the dark. My eyes came to a focus and I could see over by Remus’s bed, the endless tossing and turning. He’s having one of those nightmares again; he usually gets them around this time, a week before the full moon. The dreams are as though it was some countdown of a sort, and they get worst by the day. Just last month Remus woke up with deep scratches on his arms and legs and that was with only three days left. I can’t understand how my Moony can handle this every month for the rest of his life and he still manages to smile.
Shaking my head I climbed out of bed then as my feet touched the cold stone floor I gritted my teeth but bared with it. Padding over to Remus’s bed on my tip toes I leaned over to poke him when I realized that he wasn’t having a nightmare at all, but just a regular dream. His face seemed so relaxed and… wait… was that… no way… was he smiling? I could see his lips gently moving in sleep, he was mumbling something, I best not wake him. I know what it’s like to be woken up from such a fabulous dream… and damn him to hell whoever woke me up. Remus grumbled a little then turned over on his back, a light snore emanated from his bed. I knew it! James owes me fifty galleons tomorrow! All thoughts after seem to have evaporated from my mind once I watch him sleeping.
It just couldn’t be helped; I was already up willing to check on my lycanthrope friend and when help wasn’t needed what I should have done was go back to bed and return to sleep… but something kept me there, something that I couldn’t explain. What an incredible sight it was though. Remus was in such a carefree position, sleeping flat on his stomach that way. From what I recall during the morning after the full moon Remus usually sleeps this way when he is exceptionally tired. I managed to see the light rise and fall of his breathing, the way the smooth contours of his back muscles were rippled by the light and dark shadows of the room. Remus was gorgeous.
"Serene… don't stop…” I heard him whimper a little louder, whilst he laid flat on his back.
Did I hear right? Was Moony having a sex dream? Heh, I guess the high and almighty prefect isn’t such a prude after all. I wonder if I should wake-
“Sirius?” croaked James’s tired voice from behind me.
“What?” I jumped and looked into his sleepy eyes.
“Bloody hell, is Moony having a nightmare again?”
“Er not exactly…”
“Huh?”
“Listen,” I whispered and pointed down at a writhing Remus.
He gave a few small moans then began to lay stiff against his mattress, fisting his sheets while his knuckles began to grip white from abuse. Giving out a few short puffs of breath Remus relaxed in a boneless heap, panting softly his head gently moved from side to side before his eyes slowly opened. God! Just watching Moony come like that in his sleep was amazing…
Remus blinked a couple of times before sitting up and shielding himself with his pretty much drenched sheets.
"What?" he asked trying to play off his actions.
"Oh nothing…" said James looking concerned, "But Remus if you're going to have sexual fantasies, please keep it down. I could hear you moaning in the next bed,"
Remus reddened, why on earth… oh he wasn’t embarrassed of having a wet dream now is he? Oh for fuck’s sake!
"Who's Serene?" I decided to ask.
"Serene?" Remus looked confused
"The girl you were moaning about,"
He was acting rather fidgety I wonder why.
"Just someone," he said quickly then avoided my look on him.
“Oh alright,” I said easily, if he didn’t want to talk about it hell I wasn’t going to force him, ”Blimey it had to be you to wake everyone up at four thirty in the morning,” I said with a small shake of my head and climbed into my own bed.
Gods only knew what dream was dreaming about, let alone who. This was going to bother me all day; I have to find out who this “Serene” girl is and how she manages to make Remus howl like that.
*~*
“G’morning Sirius,” Remus smiled at me just as he always did.
“Mornin’ Moony,” came my sleepy reply.
“Honestly Padfoot, why do you insist on sleeping so late and waking up so early? You will truly dismantle your sleeping habits due to that.” He scolded me. I hate it when he does that he sounds like such a mother hen…
“Showers have hotter water this early in the morning.” I answered simply while I began to remove my pajama bottoms in front of him.
“That advice sounds awfully familiar…” Remus said in such an off handed way.
Looking up I saw the sudden blush rise in his cheeks just as he turned away, what was with him anyway? I then let out a yawn followed by a scratch on my lower backside.
“’ell ewe ar da on oo tol meh.” I yawned then shook my head a bit, “Sorry, I meant to say, ‘Well you are the one who told me.’”
Remus chuckled and dragged a hand down his face. I always thought he looked rather cute doing that it only showed how patient he was with the likes of me.
“Of course, how could I forget?” he joked then walked into the bathroom and started up a shower.
I followed soon after until I was met with a bare arse right before me. Remus sure knew how to undress quickly, I do give him that. He seemed not to notice me while he folded up his pajamas neatly then left them on the rail where the towels should be. He then pulled the shower curtain aside and stepped in. Shit. Just that sight alone got me hard thinking over the possibilities. Walking over to the nearest toilet I took my morning piss thinking of un-erotic fantasies to scare my boner away. The usual Snape wearing women’s knickers and blowing kissy faces at me did it all the time.
Stepping into the same stall as Remus I heard him chuckle gently, his usual Moony chuckle… it always made me smile.
“Back again eh? I may have to ask you to buy me dinner next time we do this.” he joked while rinsing the soap out of his hair and eyes.
“Yeah right,” I answered back amusingly, “Now move aside I need to wash my hair. Pass me my shampoo will you?"
"Hm? Oh, sure Padfoot," he said and passed the green bottle to me.
Pouring the dark green liquid into my hands and started to lather up my hair, the shower already as hot as it was began to smell like the manly soap I used every morning. Boy I smelled good! Wonder if Moony would notice… maybe he wouldn’t, maybe I hope for too much to begin with. Massaging my scalp with the soap I began thinking about how it would feel if Remus washed my hair, after all I have caught him a few times now and again staring at my hair. Rinsing the soap of my eyes and hair I turned around and faced my backside to Remus.
"Oy Moony want to give me a hand with my back?" I asked while ridding of the trapped soap in my ears.
'Though I want you to do more than that…' I added silently.
"Sure Paddy. Come over here," he murmured.
The moment I felt his fingers on my back I moaned. I always did tell Moony he had the best massaging fingers in the world, he never really believed me, don’t why it’s the truth! They way those friendly fingers move to relieve that pain and the tension in my muscles... I told him once a while back that it feels like his massages leave me a sense of peace. It was as if all the pressure of the world was removed from my shoulders and had melted down the drain.
After I felt he was finished, I turned him around and started scrubbing his back. I wanted him to feel how I felt, make him wild how he drove me wild. Looking at his skin alone began to feed my mind with all sorts of fantastic lustful thoughts. How Remus would sound under me. Begging me to do more of something I am most willing to do to him; or to see the expression of pure pleasure on his face when I can give him all my love. I then felt the hot skin of his arse where my cock bumped against him. I closed my eyes and held my breath… my God, I wanted to die.
'God…stop tempting me…why doesn't he…just once…'
"Okay Moony done," I managed to say.
"Thank you," he said and we both turned the water and got ready to go.
*~*
Breakfast that morning was just as tempting as the shower; Moony always knew how to get my goat… it’s like he knows, the bastard. Take his breakfast for instance: a bowl of healthy fresh chopped fruit. Oh sure on certain days he gets into his awkward pre-lunar eating habits and “wolfs” down a full plate of pancakes, waffles, scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns and like three slices of toast with jam. Bloody hell those days I honestly wonder where he puts it all! But other days he gets so picky and if he ate anything heavy such as anything meat related he’s running to the loo in the middle of class with his hand over his mouth. That’s just sick.
I watched him pick up his fork and began poking at certain bits of fruit then took it up to his mouth, taking in the sweetness of the fruit down his throat while watching the entrance of the Great Hall then back to the bowl of fruit. My guess would be that he was looking out for James and Peter but I couldn’t help but stare at the way his mouth moved. The way he would lick his lips as if licking up of what remained of the fruit… damn it all I bloody wished I was that fruit… I wonder how that mouth of his would feel if he decided to eat m - I shouldn’t even be thinking that, what Remus would say if he knew. Clearing my throat he looked up at me in full attention and smiles a little. My face felt burning hot then I ran my fingers through my hair nervously.
“Is something wrong?” Remus asked innocently before eating another forkful of fruit.
“No.” I snapped, God why did I do that? “Er I mean yeah, well actually it’s nothing but I-“ what the hell was wrong with me? I never stuttered for anyone in my life!
“But…?” Remus asked curiously though this time he avoided my look on him.
Oh boy, did he know how to push a bloke’s buttons alright.
Remus at last looked up at me, I don’t know what face I made at him but from the expression he gave me, I must have looked real peeved, “I can’t see how you can be bothered with just eating something sweet all the time!”
He smiled sweetly at me then to which he answered simply, “I happen to like sweet things,” he picked up a blackberry to prove his point then popped it into his mouth, “especially blackberries, they are my favorite.”
“I’d expect you to be a carnivore,” I said smirking at him.
“Why?” he asked looking rather cautious.
“Because of your furry little problem,” I said pompously between us, “Although I think I’ve found your Achilles’ heel. Anything sweeter than chocolate is your weakness,”
“I don’t like white chocolate and people say it’s sweet,”
I made a face, he was right white chocolate was rather odd… then again it was probably made by the same people who rather much fancy vanilla.
“You know Moony some say the darker the berry the sweeter and more forbidden the nectar is,”
I almost choked and he was just smiling at me. I wonder if he meant berries in general but know his perverted mind he was leaning toward something else. I hated when he played games like this with me though I have to say, he was very good at it, the bastard. Shaking my annoyance away, I had noticed how his eyes were watching me eat my breakfast or more, how he was staring intently at my mouth.
“You like Blackberries?”
“Yes, they taste good in malts… with some strawberry ice cream.”
I normally enjoy our talks, Moony and I. Most of the time we share so many things between each other that I feel all the more closer to him than James or Peter could ever get. Now for some reason Remus was glaring at me, I wonder what his deal was. Sometimes I swear this bloke’s got a split personality.*
“Let’s just see what’s so great about them,” I said suddenly changing the subject.
I took three berries from the large golden bowl and popped one into my mouth. It was quite delicious if I must say though a bit tangy for my taste. I had wondered how they would taste with strawberry ice cream just how Remus liked it. It must be pretty good I’d had to try some one of these days. After I had swallowed the fruit I licked my lips; it had a great after taste.
“Hm, not bad,” I concluded, “not bad at all, kinda tart though but in a sweet way. Once again you have impressed me with your latest discovery Professor Moony!”
Remus snorted and rolled his golden eyes, “Shush you and eat before your food gets cold.”
Always was the mother hen. I mused to myself and picked up my fork while I began picking at my plate. There was a small silence between us once again; I hate that. There could be so many important things need saying other than this stubborn “silence”. And I just had the idea to break the ice. Oh sure it wasn’t Shakespeare or anything but I was willing to give it a shot.
Looking up at him I smiled and opened my mouth, “You know you want my berries Moony,”
I wonder if I’d make him crack. If I did, then mission accomplished… for now.
“God, Sirius!” he said slapping a hand over half his face and chuckled, “Can you be anymore predictable?”
It only made me smile whenever I made him laugh; his face seems to be so full of life when I do. That’s why I made it my personal mission to always make my Moony laugh.
“Hey I thought you said you liked blackberries?” I smirked and took up my goblet of pumpkin juice to my lips.
“Of course I do, I just meant that-“
“What’s this about liking Black’s berries?” James asked entering the conversation, Peter was not that far behind him.
I nearly drowned into my goblet of pumpkin juice that day.
*~*
I watched with the most curiousness of chess. Remus was an expert in the game compared to James but he was still good. I didn't want to stay there and watch the game, I was bored enough already. But something just kept me there, planted in my seat.
"Check," said James smirking at Remus who just smiled. Remus was one of my closest mates so far with James. Remus was the logical one that knew what to say to the professors to avoid us getting detention or scolded. Something must have happened because then I heard Peter squeal like a horny girl.
"Gah! Moony I'll get you for that!"
"You left your queen unattended Jameo!" he said and smiles again.
I loved the way he smiled. His eyes always brightened and glistened in the candlelight. I loved the way the light shone off his porcelain skin and his eyes were the same color of the embers in the fire. I swear sometimes that he makes me wish he was a woman…he'd make a sexy woman…
"Hurry James and move your fat arse!"
"He's not a fat arse!"
"James is a fat arse?" I asked, smirking at James.
"Sirius you ponce! You made me forget where I was going to move!"
"Don't blame your blindness on Sirius," said Remus smirking, "Now move fat arse. The king is rumored in chess to be fat that's why he moves one space at a time. And since you refer yourself as the king of Quidditch then you must be a fat arse. Now move,"
James grumbled and moved. Remus smiles and moves his piece.
"Checkmate,"
"Damn it!"
"Pay up,"
"Pay?" I asked in confusion.
Remus looked up at me with those eyes… those eyes that always looked so sad but at the same time they didn’t.
"Yeah I told him I'd beat him in ten minutes tops,"
I laughed. Remus was a smart bastard but…he was my smart bastard.
The sound of thunder had stopped our laughing; we had then become quiet and reserved. Hearing the sound of a chair easing back, I watched Remus walk over to the window right before I heard the loud sound of the rain pounding against the glass.
“Crap I hate the rain,” said James suddenly, sounding a bit less enthusiastic.
“I think it’s beautiful…” Remus answered while gazing outside the window.
We watched him closely; it was odd seeing Remus react to such a thing as rain. I had my reasons for hating the rain much like James. It was something that I could never enjoy again. For the night I left my parents it was also raining and the memory of what they shouted and curse at me will always be fresh in my mind until the day I die.
“YOU FOUL CREATURE! YOU SHAME YOUR FAMILY!” my mother had shouted, accusing me for not following their traditions, “YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO THE NAME OF BLACK!”
She had slapped me across the face. I could feel the stinging pain beating along side the pulse of the rain hitting the windows. How the thunder rumbled against my ears.
She grew all the more hysterical, and if it wasn’t for my brother stopping her… she could have torn me to pieces. Regulus had escorted her out of the room, but not before sending me a look of such betrayal… as if telling me, “How dare you leave me here with them? With her?”
I had turned to leave, all the more stunned as I headed for the front door. My trunk was hovering at my left side, my wand was clutched tightly in my right.
Father had never looked so old to me before, “The moment you walk out that door Sirius, you will no longer be my son,” that was all he had to say over my leaving.
Those cold eyes similar like my own seem to have stared down at me. His words had cut me deep, I had always admired my father and when I was younger I had so much wanted to be like him. He was brilliant, wise, and prosperous, everything I wanted in a hero, and he was. To this day I had never looked back; I never had wanted to feel the rain again.
“Remus what’s wrong?” James asked suddenly and broke me out of my train of thought.
Remus turned to look at us all then noticed how he composed himself once again. Giving us that usual small smile whenever he thought he could throw us off guard with it; as though silently telling us that it isn’t our business to know. Why the hell is he always like that?
He shook his head at us and gave a nonchalant wave, “Nothing, I was just um; I just need to um… I’ll just be right back.”
Then just like that James, Peter and I watched him bolting out of the common room. It took a moment for us to snap out of it until James turned and looked at me,
“Something’s going on with him. Has he told you anything?”
“No, not at all but I have noticed him acting weirdly.” Standing, I reached for his robe he left on the chair then headed for the portrait hole.
“Oi Sirius,” James called behind me.
“What?” I asked turning around when I was met with umbrella being tossed at my face.
Grabbing it I glared at James, “You could have at least warn me you great git.”
James only smiled at me, “Yeah I know but go get him back before he does something stupid. I can’t believe it though.”
“What can’t you believe?” Peter chimed into the conversation.
“He always gets like this on rainy days. He acts all nutters like a caged animal wanting to get outside.”
“You’re right now that I think about it.” Peter contributed and looked a bit quizzical.
“Alright I’ll be right back then.” Turning and leaving I walked out of the portrait hole and headed outside.
I took out the umbrella and opened it; Remus’s tattered old robe was resting over my shoulder. Why would he get so frazzled over the rain for? And even through the thickness of the moisture in the air I could smell him, and he smelled wonderful. Maybe being a dog animagus wasn’t such a bad idea after all, it did after all come with it’s certain perks and abilities. I soon stopped short while only being three feet away from him, and once again for what felt like the ten billionth time, I stared at him.
His hair was flattened on his head by the shower of the rain. It was a dark brown now and not the usual tawny color that remarkably matched his eyes. The color I seem to always associate with Remus… like honey or something, maybe even topaz. Not that it matters now of course… But anyway, what was the idiot doing standing out here in the rain like this? Didn’t he know or at least care that he could, and no doubt would catch a cold?
I watched him. As dazed and as confused as I was, I watched him under the protection of my umbrella. Finally I shook my head out of the trance, anger rising in my chest as I opened my mouth and shouted,
“Remus! Just what the hell do you think you’re doing?”
This was stupid, so stupid.
I caught him by surprise I know it, Remus never jerked that way before; he was always aware of who or what approached him. Werewolf senses my arse; I always knew it was an excuse. His eyes opened and he stared at me from where he stood. They seemed to widen as our gazes focused on one another in that brief moment of silence, with the exception of the rain that is. Then the dumb bastard had the nerve to smile at me. This is one of the most stupid things Remus as ever done; does he have a death wish or something? I don’t know, and if he does I’ll beat him bloody next full moon for even thinking that.
“What the fuck are you smiling for, you daft cow? Bloody hell here,” I glared and stalked right over to him and gave him the sanctuary of my umbrella.
Our faces were so close at that moment, but I didn’t care. He felt as cold as ice in front of me. I could see the small tremble of his lower lip and chin quivering when I took up his robe and draped over his shoulders. That was when I realized his clothes were soaked right through. Idiot! I had to get him inside.
“Shit your clothes are soaked through. I have to get you inside before you catch pneumonia or something. For fuck’s sake aren’t you cold!?” I continued to banter him with obvious questions, but it made him smiled even more. Did he find this situation funny? Then again, Moony always did have a twisted sense of humor. James and Peter have agreed with me on this.
“Not when I’m around you Pads,” he said softly and ran his hand through his wet hair, slicking it back easily, “or when I am around things that remind me of you.”
I stopped dead in my tracks. All the anger I felt previously seemed to have flushed itself down the drain. What was he saying? What did he mean? For once I was left speechless and decided to give Remus the benefit of the doubt to explain himself. I wanted to know everything.
“The rain was the closest that I could ever get to you,” he smiled uneasily now and I saw the small hint of pink on his cheeks.
What is this? Was this some dream that I’m bound to wake up from? I didn’t say anything how could I after he said something like that?
“Why the rain?” I asked softly. Suddenly my voice didn’t seem to sound the same, “The rain is depressing and cold.”
His eyes shot upward and I was met with his own; he stared upward, pleading at me as if through his eyes he was trying to make me understand. Please help me understand Remus, just what are you trying to tell me? I want to know… I’m tired of hiding from you.
“Oh no Sirius,” he shook his head then smiled gently, “The rain is just as beautiful as you are. Not cold, or depressing. It’s just wonderful just…”
I lost all thoughts while noticing how close we seemed to have been.
“Just…?” I asked leaning in closer.
“Just…” Remus whispered, his eyes closed suddenly and his lips touched mine.
‘So,’ said a voice inside my mind as our embrace began to grow, ‘You have once again stepped out into the rain after all.’
‘Because it’s different,' I answered silently, “The rain doesn’t hurt anymore.”
What I felt the moment his lips touched mine, my soul began to burn. Our kiss was nothing like I ever imagined… it was a million times better. I love him.